i'm a dynamic being.
i'm always changing.
i'm terrified of being static.
i don't want to stay the same.
i don't like myself and i want to change.
i never like myself.
if i was static i think i would die.

you are not my type, but i don’t care.
our conversations are not interesting, yet i like talking to you.
you don’t have any talents that will make me feel interested.
the things that you consider hobbies are boring to me.
heck, i’m not even attracted to you, but i like you.

I wish I wouldn't bottle things up so often. I underestimate my feelings, and wind up hurting. It's truly the worst feeling of all, when the smallest of things end up breaking the bottle. All I want really is to express myself freely without overthinking everything that runs through my mind.

Identify at once
The words jumble in my throat
Retribution shock
Governing by my ticking clocks
Spewing wind to fill the sails

Empty boats
Floating down
Glinding along gilded banks
Wheat can seldom feed a soul
Only bloat the burdend mind

How does the horizion break?
When did all my buds bloom
Long into the night
And slowly wither away
But never die

Change is mine
And when it comes to me
My will I cannot abide
There will be no sacrifice
I live my life by the dimmest light

The words I could speak
To blow it out
Flowing over the tip of my tounge
But Seldom ever spoken
Silence is golden

And the danger may be closer than it appears
And you'll never know if the end is near
And the ones i loved, cherished and relied most heavily upon
Can slip god through my viens...

And yet the new ones
The immitators I've neglected
Seldom speak to me, irony a bitter curse

And up untill this day, and onwards down the current
the words still escape me

My life is a series of "do this" and "do that",
Not actually doing what I really want to.
They say it's for me, it's for the best and whatnots,
Everything's more of what I'm expected to do.

Then came a reckless boy who called my life boring,
That was something I wasn't really expecting.
The first experience he gave me was a piercing,
He changed the way I see life, not even knowing.

04-19-17 // 12:46 PM