What's the point in loving you?

You never even cared.

I was always looking at you, always at your back. Watching your every fall and every rise. It's too unfortunate I'm too close to you. I can't see your face because I'm always behind you, staring with my eyes from afar and with my heart from nearby. I'm afraid that if I touch your back, you'll turn out to be the person I wouldn't have thought of. I can't say hello just to say goodbye in the end. I'd rather have us stay this way, me tailing you and observing you grow. It is better for me not to get to know you and be disappointed with just myself, than have known you and be disappointed with you and myself. That way I can leave easier.

Someone once told me
that butterflies only live for a year
so could you tell the ones you left in my stomach
that they've overstayed their welcome?

After you left, I catch myself running my fingers
over the things you touched the most.
I just want to feel the warmth of your fingertips.
I just want to know if the sound of my heartbeat
still sounds like windchimes to you.
—J.N

cry baby, cry
all the world was in front
all the past was behind
and you dropped the ball.
it fell right out of your hand
and for what?
don't say it was for love
because that would be a crying shame.
this life is not a Shakespearean play,
the ebb and flow just isn't here and
there is no rhyme, and there is no reason
and the grammar is bad.
so cry baby, cry
you let everything get to you
you cut off your nose to spite your face
like standing on the tracks to catch the train.
it's such a drag
maybe you should go back home
and leave those fiery, gun powder dreams behind.

It only hurts when I think about it,
but it hurts not to think about it.
Although there are multitudes of stars
brilliant against the night, all of that fades
when the moon is missing—
when the moon has run away
to orbit another planet—
when I said that I loved you and only you
and so the moon grew dim for me and only me.

And now if I crunch an apple between my teeth,
I pretend it is the heart you proved I had.
And if I hear euphony—trickles of water in dreams—
and if I see a crimson-throated bird crying into the fog,
I think of you and I think of me.
Then I think of me without you,
which means I think of nothing.
And finally I think of how these are only words
that you will never read.
Because there is no light to read them by,
as the moon's brilliance has danced away.

No doubt that it is impossible for the taste to find
Beauty with its shocking glare makes one just blind
Love and beauty require an eternal chain to bind
Every beautiful girl has a poisonous snake behind

Love is not a poison but it definitely is a deadly sin
Mostly heart is taken away by a black mole on chin
Beauty may be apparent or deep down in the skin
At times it becomes impossible hand of love to win

Let me grace your beauty with over enthusiastic love
For the kindness my heart and soul are bound to bow
Let me see lines of fortune on your hand remove glow
Then tell me the way where to meet when and just how

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

She is trying so hard to be famous
I am forever wishing I was nameless
When she looks at me she is so focused
She really thinks that I don't know this
She wants to be me so bad
I just really want to stop being so sad
I have made up my mind...I am moving to LA
She thinks I care about her being away
The truth is I am just trying to make enough money
To get out of here
To be 5 blocks up from Santa Monica Pier
I want to leave myself a mark
I want to leave my light in the spaces where it's dark
When they turn on their lamp they will always have a wet cold feeling
I will be in my beautiful studio apartment just chilling
Just remember me when you look in the mirror
And how I always took away your sadness and fear

I wonder if she knows
that now when I smile
that tears cascade down my eyes
because when I am smiling
I begin to remember
all of the memories
of the times when she
pulled me back
from the depths of my own mind
and brought a smile to my face