This is all me in my head-
the shaking hands and the
emptiness that I feel
but is it just that I don't feel enough
or so much
that I'm shutting down-
sleeping away my days
going into nights where I stare up
at the sky and wonder why
my life is the way that it is.

I can't tell why I'm crying- because
I feel nothing
empty
hollow
empty
nothing
complete loss of anything-
but I know that things will not alway be this way because
I remember times when I did feel-
so hard
so fast
so intense
that this all must just be my body
trying to react to something
that it does not know what it is reacting to

What is going on
why am I so numb?
This is all in my head-
this is on me-
it will be okay-
the feeling will come back-
but for now I'll sit.

6:15am, early start
full with lots of love in my heart,
a cup of coffee with a swirl of whipped cream
a book about compassion and generosity.
step out on the balcony
brisk beautiful air
messy tangled hair,
sun beaming
skin gleaming
peace and quiet.
birds waking up to make their music
where's my bookmark, try not to lose it.
sitting and sipping
take in the new day
new start
new beginning.

In the hours of the night
I'm thinking about you.
I'm restless, feeling vulnerable.
the stars are too far,
as they fade in the day.
The sun is awake,
and you're floating away.
I watch as you depart
but I lay here,
wondering when the night
will once again reappear,
but I keep dreaming
with my eyes wide open,
I dream of the future
and I hope you're listening,
to every wish I senselessly make,
because when I dream of you,
i'm finally awake.

What if stars were
Giants so large we couldn't see them walking
And voices so loud we can't even hear them talking
Beings so high we only see them spin
Yet we only find the truth within
Breathing in the spectrum while waves pulsate in tempo
To the patterns heaven plays with the weather and its reflection
I could contemplate the motion of the sky
But it wouldn't take the ache away that wakes the soul inside
A moment in desire will wake the egos fire
And the way this system was designed if we temper we’ll burn higher
I try to Stay away from gains that make us consumed by currency
Because it only makes everything feel like a sudden sense of urgency
May a Blade be sharpened by the still and patient warrior
Complacent expectations makes the act laborious
So practice makes perfect, its been said a thousand times
Yet somehow we only remember after opportunities arise
You can say you know
Have you felt it in your bones?
That pure electric feeling coming from experience alone
Step back and observe the trails walked before you
Maybe the path you seek has already been laid out for you
Or maybe it was never there, no steps to see no sea to fare
Perhaps your destiny is to create it and bear the duty to share

Light reflected on my eyes.

Woke me up from a deep sleep.

It wasn’t a bright shiny morning,

but it woke me up for nothing to keep.

Just reflection on my glass window.

A mirage in a desert so deep.

I go around chasing it,

till I’m so tired, I creep.

Rolling on the endless sand,

then I realize there’s nothing to keep.

But I’m up, so? what now?

I can't go back to sleep!

Awakened by a false light,

to chase nothing I can keep.



https://scribblesindarkness.blogspot.com/