The Eyes
We see with our
Appetites
Not what we need
But what we greed

My jagged teeth
Feed me bloodshed
My brain NEEDS it
By God as I pray
I'm being preyed upon

Do you ******* Soul?
Swallow my whole
****** down a black hole
Lets talk about how
None of this is even ******* real.

Practically real at least
Floating out in space
Existing as geometrical shapes
Shaded by our history
Trying to remember
How exactly light works?...

I don't belong to myself.

These atoms that frame

Everything that I am

Aren't even mine.

These cells don't especial

My small being.

Because they belong

To the extinguished stars.

They belong to the suns

Around which orbited

Planets of all shapes

Of all matter,

Around which orbited

Their moons.

I don't belong to myself

I belong to the

Extinguished

Heavenly bodies

Whose light probably

Still travels, wandering,

Lost without a source,

Just like human souls.

Every scintilla in my being

Belongs to the dark abyss

Of outer space, to the stars

That once shined, to the stars

That someday will,

To the creatures we'll never

Even know existed,

To the creatures that will

Never know we ever did.

I don't belong to myself,

Because the weight

Of my body is and

Forever will be

Too heavy for my soul.

-

tjr

I want you to know
I have loved you
From the moment our laughter
Mixed with cider, inky black skies
And orange street lights.
I want you to know
I still love you
From tight hugs and soft kissed
To tear stained cheeks and hurt.
I want you to know
I will always love you
Like atoms, we will always find our way to each other,
No matter what
We will be together.

It's not the memories that hurt.
I seldom find myself lost amongst those painful reveries.
No, it's much deeper than that.

It's not logical or tangible.
It's an inexplicable feeling,
Or lack there of.
A void.
Deeper than conscious thought.

It's molecular.
As if the atoms that create my existence mourn your presence.
Perhaps they grew fond of the way our forms were intertwined.
Vibrating in unison to an unheard melody.
They moved together in harmony.
They united for a time only to be torn apart by shallow egos and petty differences.

That's where the perpetual longing originates from.
They grieve your absence with an incessant hum that whispers your name throughout my body. Pleading with me to fix this.

Sigh.
Sounds better than admitting I actually miss the *******.
It's not me, I swear, it's my ******* atoms! Do I look like a physicist to you!? I don't know how to reinvent the atom!!

Whenever I see you it seems like all the beauty in
the world collides and  nobody ever seems
to notice because it all happens
with every single one of my atoms
sensing every single one of yours.

the blue will thrive in another shade.

sailing alone amidst the calm seas
calling your name with her silky voice

bask in the serenade of the skies
while the wind allows you to draw in
let the sand fill the gaps between your fingers
like lovers rekindling their sweet sorrow

let it be known
that you are millions and millions of atoms
tucked in safely where you belong in this space
that you are made of explosions of lights old as time
and you have never lost it; not then, not forever

rise against the morrow
graceful and serene.

I am a drop.

No, smaller than that,

I am half a drop.

Nah, even smaller,

I am a molecule.

Not yet, zoom out a bit more.

I am an atom, right?

How ‘bout a nucleus?

Proton is a better option.

Or perhaps something,

Smaller than a proton,

Or any subatomic particle?

What’s the smallest?

Is the smallest really the smallest?

May be fifty years,

Or hundred years from now, or more

Would there be a new smallest,

I think that would be me.

The ‘me’ in front of the all pervading sky

The all pervading hostility of this universe,

Or perhaps of a multiverse.

Far would be destroyed my glory,

By even a minute of such an imagination,

My blown up ego would be blown up.


Gone is my glory,

blown up is my blown up ego,

humbled am I.

Neither a king,

Nor even a slave,

who am I?

how would I know?

when would I know?

when could I perceive,

without ‘me’ at the centre?

without ‘me’ seeing ‘me’?

perhaps never,

perhaps sometime!

Am I a ‘who’?

Or am I a ‘what’?

How does it even matter

In front of all the existence?


But

What if I am the biggest?

Bigger than the mountain

Bigger than the sun

Bigger than this galaxy

Or even the universe?

What if I am the universe or the multiverse,

and kept from knowing it?

Ah! what a mystery!

Humbled am I

In front of the great mystery

Of not ‘that’ or ‘this’

But of ‘I’.

So never ask me this;

Who are you?

For I shall go silent

and never get back to you.

Or shall I ever get back to you,

what a celebration would that be?

The greatest celebration of my life,

The greatest celebration of my being.


But

What if I don’t even exist?

Or I am just this & nothing else?

May be I am a chaos,

that seems to be ordered.

May be I am an order,

that seems to be a chaos.

May be I am both.

Or may be none.

When would I know the truth?

Or may be I know the truth,

Just pretending not to know it.

May be I am the truth,

seeking out my own self.

Or a lie,

pretending to be the truth.

May be I am all that I thought,

May be I am none.


May be all I just need,

is to take a nap,

and get back to work.

the body of water that lay still and silent
.
the atmosphere around so coherent to sound
Like the flower of ideas
Threatens to bloom

then struck light so loud and bold they embrace
and unfolds to incredible wondrous works
Entrance
life began living ....taking new breath

then past ,present and future
And infinity made
.
#standstill