#ana poems on Hello Poetry

B P Nov 2015

How could she do that to herself.
her collarbones almost popping out of her skin
because she is a skeleton already
her ribcage a tally of the meals she has skipped
one, two, three, four, too many to count
her hipbones protrude like shards of glass
shattered like her self esteem
thighs that no longer touch
calves miles apart
gaps on her body
gaps between meals

her head is a mixed up land
with broken mirrors all around
her friend ana reflected in the shards
she is so familiar with these eating habits they have a name
ana ana ana ana ana
runs through her brain
the calorie counter in her head runs
is an apple worth it anymore?
skip dinner
wake up thinner
pretty girls do not eat.

her body is brittle
she looks like she could break with a touch
but she is already broken inside
the fight is over
she knows it too
she is fading away.

how could i do this to myself.

trigger warning.

#eating #starving #eatingdisorder #ana #anorexia #selflove #meals #selfesteem #selfhate #triggerwarning

Morgan Floyd Oct 2015

~ANA~

Ana, Ana
my best friend
i'm sorry to say
we've come to an end
you see I loved you
alot more than I should
you always stayed
when no one would
it was very hard
we've been through thick & thin
our golden rule
eating is a sin
on my knees
fingers down my throat
whatever's in my stomach
the toilet it'll coat
the number on the scale
decides what you'll say
whether I get to eat or not
usually I starve everyday
you know my family
but they don't know you
they'll never see you
in my point of view
you're beautiful & amazing
everything I want to be
or so I thought
why couldn't I see
you weren't who you said you were
you were a wolf in sheep's fur
I was fragile & insecure
did that ever occur
I was 16 & 80 pounds
but you didn't care
when my ribs started showing
you continued to dare
skinner & skinnier
I was so sick & small
I couldn't even stand
I used support from a wall
but I no longer need support
you see my coffins closed
I never knew I was perfect
from my head to my toes
Ana I let you win
there is no more me
I finally got thin
but i'm dead can't you see
our friendship is over
you finally won
but you don't even care
you're on to another one

one of my close friends in a facility with me named keighley wrote this for me so credit to her

#dead #friend #best #perfect #ana #mia #anorexia #thin #thick #starve

Mikayla Sep 2015

Beautifully Tragic

There was a time,
that I was alone;
all the time.
Now;
I’m not alone.
I can’t help;
but…
Believe,
that this is a beautiful…
Tragedy.
Run;
Run away;
Run away from reality.
You’re my home.
Oh,
I do love you so.
I can’t help but;
Believe..
That this is a beautiful;
Tragedy.

#love #sad #depressed #alone #lost #beautiful #suicidal #ana #anorexia #tragedy

Rochelle R Sep 2015

A Demon Called Ed

A future projected
Vividly
I see you have arrived
I know you're here to take from me
Take and take
I understand why
I danced with you, demon
I asked you to play
Now this is the debt I have to pay
Obsessed
I became possessed
Sacrificed individuality
Signed in blood
My life away
Now Demon
Wrap my bones in witches hope
**** my stomach dry
Take my vision
Take my mind
Take it all, it isn't mine
Lie to me
Break promise me
Perfect for eternity
I'll drink it up
Purge my soul
Grow dimmer
Darker
With every goal
Shrinking, shriveling, fading fast
Denying logic
Believe my eye
I am a shadow
A mortal ghost
A projection of what I ought to be
There's less of me and more of you
Filling the space where hunger grew
I faulter
Linger
Hating you
Loving you
Hating to love you
Fighting you
I always lose
And if I escape
You'll ****** me
I find the thought
Strangely comforting
See
There's not much left
Perhaps just a shimmer
Of what was old me
Bone dust, and sinners lust
I am not much worth fighting for
So when the reaper greets me
(Demon! Say adieu!)
I'll gladly take his hand
And let him lead me away from you

#depression #sadness #demon #ana #mia #possession #recovery #relapse #ednos #anamia

Cheyenne Alexandra Aug 2015

Ana's Little Angel

Where is my little angel at this very night?
Cold and lonely by the bedside, wish she could take a bite
Bad girl! How could you?!
Give up on what you worked for?
Now we have to start over, once more.
My little angel, listen to me.
I will help you strive to become the person
Your mom seeks you to be.
Wouldn't want to make her upset, would we?
Perfection is key.
Make them proud.
Keep them happy.
My little angel, we can do this.
Sleep now and remember I will be in your dreams.
Till you come to me.

#eatingdisorder #ana #anorexia #ed

always anxious Aug 2015

Attention *****

I admit it..
I'm an attention *****.

I starve myself, even though i know how skinny i am, even though i know 100 lbs is not a lot.

I starve myself so people will notice me.
Talk about me.
Feel bad for calling me all that rude stuff.

For the
"I want her body"
For the
"Did you lose weight"
For the
People who will start caring.

So people will talk behind my back about how i never eat.

But also to have legs to die for, and a waist to love.
To be perfect.

Idk if everyone feels like this..
I recently relapsed into my eating disorder again, and this is some of my thoughts.
Don't think i only do it for attention, i have other reasons too.

#ana #mia #anorexia #tw #ed #anorexic #attention #anamia #eatingdidorder #triggerearning

always anxious Aug 2015

Dissappointment

I was with my boyfriend today.
When i started crying randomly he got confused and tried to comfort me..
But he couldn't
Cause i can'ttell him what's wrong..
He'd just be dissappointed that i feel worse again and that i lost 3 kg in a week.

I can't dissappoint him like that..

#suicide #suicidal #ana #anorexia #tw #selfharm #sh #triggerwarning #aba

always anxious Aug 2015

Sickness

Why is it that when you're sick enough.
Recovery feels like the sickness and the relapses feel like recovery?

#suicide #suicidal #ana #anorexia #tw #selfharm #ed #recovery #sh #triggerwarning

Dylan Lane Aug 2015

Ana's rhyme

the less you eat,
the less you weigh
it'll show more every day

the more you eat,
the more you grow
and getting fat is a big no

so stop eating
it'll all be fine
just stop eating,
but dont you whine

if you stop eating,
you'll look like me
and dont you see
how happy you'll be?

clearly, you wont be happy if you listen to the song.

#mentalillness #eatingdisorder #ana #anorexia

always anxious Aug 2015

Recovery

I think you could compare my situation to a wound.

At first it's a papercut.
Doesn't look like much.
But stings as hell.
Everyone knows that, but no one admits.

Then it turns into a cut.
Still doesn't look like much.
Stings less, but hurts more.
But it doesn't mean much it's just a cut.

And after a while it'll be a fleshwound.
Trips to the ER to get it fixed.
Everyone knowing and asking about it.
Everyone being concerned.

Then it'll get fixes and heal slowly.
But sometimes you rip it back open.
But no one notices that after a while.
You don't want them to know.

This is one of the wounds that'll never heal, there will always be a scab to pick at when you're sad.
You keep ripping it open.

But at one point you learn how to
Protect it, it'll just take a while
And It'll be hard.
But there will still be a wound.

#ana #anorexia #tw #selfharm #recovery #sh #triggerwarning