I won't trust you,
When you say you're  afraid
of losing me someday

I won't trust you,
When you don't say what you mean
and show what you feel

I won't trust you,
Because people have to face their fears
And show their true selves.

It’s 2 am
And I can hear something
I make out the voices of my parents
Yelling and screaming
I **** awake,
And listen to their “conversation”
I know they are fighting about
Something Trivial
I just cower under my bed covers
Knowing I will feel the backlash in the morning
I can hear their fight escalate
I can hear the things they yell
“You’re useless”
“It’s all your fault”
“Why don’t you just leave?”
I know the answer to that one at least,
They stay together for my siblings and I.
I just fear the day when they finally realize
We are adult enough to handle a divorce.
I fear the day they realize
We aren’t enough to keep them together
I just fear the day they acknowledge
The growing gap between them

Break my bones,
make me bleed,
let this love-filled blood gush out of my veins,
I want no part of it!
Love is too much for me,
It sets my insides ablaze,
until my thoughts dance in the flames,
burning everything until my heart begs.
So I'll hide from its rays,
I'll lurk in the shadows,
before logic is dragged and thrown out the window,
before am left with nothing but the need for more.

I can't remember the last time that I was actually happy. Not the fleeting happiness of a funny joke or a cute animal, but deeply and utterly satisfied with my life.

Was it the warm nights in Spain that I spent dancing through the streets. Smile never far from my lips and the smell of ***** and freedom drifting through the air? Was it the rush of running through my new found apartment with the hopes and promises of being better academically and socially? Was it the night of Halloween when we first cuddled up by the campfire tipsy and falling in love? You telling me I deserved better than second place and promises of forever sweet treatment.

My head now swarms with fear and uncertainty. What is happiness. Where do I find it? Who am I and why do I feel like I am empty and out of control? These loud thoughts swirling in my head taking over control. Pressure building to extreme levels where that little voice tells me that the world is better off without me screams into my sad and scared void. Emptiness. When did you become so close to me.

As I lay in bed next to the man I thought I was going to spend my whole life with I don't even know where I stand. The fear of screaming and agitation at my actions or malfunctioning technology. The fear of an argument following closely behind any statement or conversation. Second place. Fun activities alone. Possible physical altercation. Where do I stand? I have lost control. I have lost myself... but I still have no idea where I stand.

She was like a book
When I read her words
I sink into her world

A world in which I always want to stay
A world in which we can drink our café in peace
A world where nobody puts stones on our way

I don't know
When the last chapter comes
But i'm afraid that the last chapter
Will separate us forever.

Melting flesh falling into place.
Calling out different words.

Two minds, two different eyes.
I see you differently.
How you changed your heart towards my soul.
How you changed your attitude towards this seemingly always happy home.

You were worried and you kept your mouth shut.
You pat my back gently and asked me if I was okay.
When I was okay, you shot bullets at me.

Are you scared of caring?
Scared of showing the soft kind heart within?
I know it because when you morphed, your heart shone through the tissues of your body....I saw it.
It was beautiful...