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Mary-claire Feb 6
I don't know how to say it,
I don't know how to just give my feelings wings and let them fly out of my mouth,
I've taught myself how to shape them into words,
Words that at least come closer to their intensity but never really fully translate them.
I've learnt how to scratch them on paper,
Edit them till no glimmer of me is left,
Till they talk about someone who is not me but still me,only I can tell the last part.
I've taught my writings to tell the tales of a being that no one knows,stories of a stranger who feels because that is not me.
I have not been me in so long,.
I am Me's greatest enemy.
Mary-claire Nov 2018
How badly I wanted to prove you wrong when you said "I know you love me"
I introduced death to my poems, dipped my words in the takers blood,I turned my heart into a graveyard,just to reflect how dead my feelings for you are.
I captured every cell that ignited at the mention of your name and quenched the fire with the oceans you made me cry.
I deafened the heartbeats that pounded for you,burnt every thought that drifted to you,I never gave your absence the ability to take away my sanity.

I cradled the heart that you broke every night,whispered we're okay till the pieces trusted me and stuck together again. So No,you're wrong,I don't love you at all.
Mary-claire Oct 2018
I miss the time when 'I love you' was the greatest poem I could ever write,
When I couldn't listen to a love song without thinking of you,
When thoughts of kissing you invaded my mind and I blushed to myself.
I miss the time when your arms were the only home I knew,
When you would engulf me in an embrace and your heart played music for me,
When you would pull my smile from its hiding place,
How you taught my heart to do the tango when you bit my lower lip,
You lit a fire in my soul,
And you still haven't put it out.
its cold and cloudy and I miss you.
Mary-claire Oct 2018
Caution my young fragile heart,
Its eager but scared,
Teach it to thump the previous hurt away,
To beat the fears from its learning space,
To draw up the curtains,
Open the windows,
Invite some light in
And let in a new occupant.
Mary Claire.
Mary-claire Sep 2018
I have these episodes,
where my heart gives up every emotion,
where it succumbs to science and just pumps blood,
quietly, just to keep me alive.
No feeling,
I can't tell if am happy,
or conjure up a reason to be,
no feeling is certain excerpt pain,
it refuses to be a feeling and racks itself under nature,
fueled by my own breath.
  I have these episodes,
where I want to hide in the darkest place,
to lay with the rocks,
because not feeling to them is second to being.
I have these episodes,
where I want to dreanch myself in gasoline,
grab a match and set myself ablaze,
shut down the uncertainty and not knowing,
because it won't hurt that much if I know where its coming from.

I have these episodes,
where I realize,
numbness is another type of pain.
Mary-claire Sep 2018
Smile before they see your grimace,
blink back the tears before they fall
look away before the look of hurt is noticed
dress that cry for help into a soft melody
pull away before they notice they are pushing you away
Mary-claire Sep 2018
the wind gets too much,
so we lock our freedom in a bottle,
hoping one day it will grow and break free,
hoping we'll be ready for it.

freedom binds us,..
chained to the need of maintaining it ..,
we clip our own wings.
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