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abby Nov 2019
what I wouldn't give to run away into the woods alone
with nothing but a quarter and a portable pay phone
so that when I am afraid, I can call myself at home.
Hailey Nov 2019
You took advantage of me,
Used and abused me,
You misplaced me,
Erased me,
Till this day the thought still eviscerates me,
Hold and told me you would love me,
all you did was scold me.
You abandoned me,
Sickened me,
Until one day you lost me.
Ikaros Nov 2019
there’s a scream stuck in my throat
lives behind the picket fence
of my gritted teeth

(I’ve always breathed through it
drowned ever since)
and the scream

like a poltergeist
destroys everything that haunts it that it haunts
it’s waiting to take over

like the monster from my nightmares
(kills me in our yard the dark empty living room
the roadsides that forest nearby
it greets me in the kindergarten too
and nobody else hides)

bares its maw burning abysmal

(not with rage but with
the heavy unease of a barrage falling on the lowest piano keys
the sharpest alarm
of plates and glasses and voices shattering flying far)

hurts
hurts and screams the wolf

like a child
(a difficult one no way around it yet
“look the potential leaks with every page read song stuttered
perfectly mirrors two portraits in one downfall and isn’t it
a ******* funny anecdote
how this is going to end us all”

but don’t you cry regret crawl
nothing not this not ever even Nobody’s fault
sum of its worst parts and a bit more
core overflowing dry)

shrieks screeches chokes on tears
louder than fear it grows shriller as you near
screams

(I forgot the reason
my name if you ever gave such
but our anger
our anger is all we have left so it is ours and it is us)

stops barely to breathe
never to swim always to fall
as there’s too much and too little to feel to get out to calm

(asleep I rush in the invisible tar
stay still yet still run as to stay still there is to lose it all
myself the war the last trench rot
soft pedal stuck down on my curses my calls of help
but to stop is as good as to not
so in a dusty ball under the bed I run with my tears and I yelp)

never to surrender
or surrenders only when
there’s no door to hit with its jagged little fists

(became an enemy territory when the barricade
made of this small shivering stubborn bag of bones
a desk and my red plastic armchair
gave way in
caved)

no trusty dear book to tear to bits
(as all suddenly lie scattered sad and judging broken apart
who could’ve done them so wrong I used to bawl
though I knew just a sob ago
I chose every and each one to maul)

when every bark every breath of energy has drained out
and its vocal cords break too hard
only then
can it sink back
shrink itself to fit my raw rickety heart

but the scream
the scream has my lungs guts and arms
firm grip
no mind all harm

still dreams of dread with open eyes
eats the sheep hogs my blanket
feeds on restless sleep
falls off the cliff to return like a villain dies
Wilbur Nov 2019
Although I don't know you
And can't talk to you
That doesn't mean I don't care about your words
Or your caring for me
It just means that I'm too afraid to talk to you
For the last time I spoke to someone I didn't know...
It ended badly
And I can't let that happen again
And I'm sorry that I can't be there
But...
I feel that it's better this way
Maybe... I'll have the strength to talk... soon
Past Nov 2019
Letting go to hold on
Holding on to let go

Living to die
Dying to live

The liar I am
I am the liar

I said I’m sorry
I’m sorry I said

You said it’s ok
It’s ok you said

Are you tired I asked
I asked are you tired

I said I’m sorry
I’m sorry I said.
Cardboard-Jones Nov 2019
I’m in a dorm room with the lights all off,
You were there, it’s 5:15.
The day was fading and all I see
Is the flickering lights from the city.

The sun was burning now just like the whiskey,
Or was it Crown? It’s 9:16.
I smelled tangerines.
Was that your perfume?
I swear I could see for miles in your eyes.
You wanted me to say it, so I said it.

I’m afraid.
To be myself, to be a man.
But I’m 19.
Guess I’ll figure that out as best I can.

I really miss that dorm room.
Alexis Nov 2019
I can almost feel the ground shaking
As old ways begin to fall into the abyss
And the new finds itself sifting through the cracks, down into
And through me

What was will never be again
And I feel it tugging on my heart strings
Pulling and pulling, just to see how flexible they really are
Thinking maybe if they tug just gently enough they won’t eventually snap
But they always do

We have a way of forgetting that all things come to an end
And when they do
All we have left is a memory and maybe a tear or two.
Daisy Ashcroft Jun 2019
I daren't close my eyes
For fear of losing this place
The tranquility it has bestowed upon me

The lakes shift in their eternal sleep
The boats nod to each other in their marching lines

There is darkness all around
But still I can see
The world resting around me

Fog hovers in the quiet air
Weary of the silence in this place

There are buildings but no on is home
For this is home for no one
This is where the dreamers wander

I see no moon watching from the sky
I see no stars humming their sweet airs

But I do no fear
For I feel not a thing
Beside the stillness this place can bring

Mists and clouds and rains and shadows
And yet nothing touches my skin

My soul is a separate from my body
But I am still here
Observing and waiting

For what is unbeknownst to me
But no sense of troubledness comes

I drift with the current that is not there
Alone in the boat of dreams
And then it is gone and only shadows are seen

I daren't close my eyes
Or let this world slip away
For it is my home above the clouds
Where only peace remains
But in the morning this world will be gone
And I will be left alone
With only people there.
Jay Oct 2019
I beg for love,
But it's not worth it to love me.
Nobody deserves the pain I will put them through,
For I am selfish and will break their heart.

I beg for love,
But I am never accepting.
I waste so much time,
Loving and telling lies.

I beg for love,
But I am too afraid.
I cannot believe anyone will truly accept me,
Or ever has.

I beg for love,
But I am a ***** for it.
I am not patient,
And I don't wait for it.

I beg for love,
But I can't commit to one love for too long for I am always afraid.
I have broken hearts,
Trying to fill mine.

I beg for love,
But I am done.
I don't want to be loved,
I don't want to love.

Love,
It hurts too much.
I have been broken,
And I have broken others,
For love,
And I am fed up.

I will never again
Beg for love.
driving past the
dead grass
against the grey clouds
my heart turns to metal and
my lungs begin to deflate
as
i get farther from you
i feel the sick start to continue
without your scent to fill my head
and
with out your eyes to steal my dread
i become a boulder
rolling down a steep hill
to be a boulder is treacherous
i hit the small rocks
that
wreck my exterior
breaking off clumps
im losing pieces of myself again

its a mystery
of how you wrap me whole
of how you give me worth

my throat burns
from holding in the sobs

im electrified
when im given your attention
my metal heart melts and
becomes warm
while my lungs inflate with
what smells of sweet cedarwood
and sweat
your skin is hot against mine
and i love the tickle of your body hair
the moments where you squeeze me
are when
my entire being is awoken
shocks of energy
convulse my nerves
and i feel alive
you are my sun
because
without your warming rays
and without your light
i am left cold and blind
When you feel love for the very first time, you become attached, that love is so addictive that when you must stop it, your cravings build. The desire is pungent, one cannot fathom reality without their lover.
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