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Jay Oct 2019
I beg for love,
But it's not worth it to love me.
Nobody deserves the pain I will put them through,
For I am selfish and will break their heart.

I beg for love,
But I am never accepting.
I waste so much time,
Loving and telling lies.

I beg for love,
But I am too afraid.
I cannot believe anyone will truly accept me,
Or ever has.

I beg for love,
But I am a ***** for it.
I am not patient,
And I don't wait for it.

I beg for love,
But I can't commit to one love for too long for I am always afraid.
I have broken hearts,
Trying to fill mine.

I beg for love,
But I am done.
I don't want to be loved,
I don't want to love.

Love,
It hurts too much.
I have been broken,
And I have broken others,
For love,
And I am fed up.

I will never again
Beg for love.
driving past the
dead grass
against the grey clouds
my heart turns to metal and
my lungs begin to deflate
as
i get farther from you
i feel the sick start to continue
without your scent to fill my head
and
with out your eyes to steal my dread
i become a boulder
rolling down a steep hill
to be a boulder is treacherous
i hit the small rocks
that
wreck my exterior
breaking off clumps
im losing pieces of myself again

its a mystery
of how you wrap me whole
of how you give me worth

my throat burns
from holding in the sobs

im electrified
when im given your attention
my metal heart melts and
becomes warm
while my lungs inflate with
what smells of sweet cedarwood
and sweat
your skin is hot against mine
and i love the tickle of your body hair
the moments where you squeeze me
are when
my entire being is awoken
shocks of energy
convulse my nerves
and i feel alive
you are my sun
because
without your warming rays
and without your light
i am left cold and blind
When you feel love for the very first time, you become attached, that love is so addictive that when you must stop it, your cravings build. The desire is pungent, one cannot fathom reality without their lover.
R Oct 2019
For I

Am Afraid
To be afraid
In front of many different people

And I

Am afraid
That my vulnerability
Will only give them more

Bullets
I have too many secrets
Robby Oct 2019
I have words that I just can’t say
I’m not even sure if they’re true
The thought of them terrifies me

I keep them locked up in my head
Sometimes they get out and roam
Those are the days I’m afraid of the most

What would happen if I stopped and listened?
Jules Oct 2019
I don't want to make any accusations
but they're all getting into my head
They say this
They say that
I don't know what's true or false
and I'm too afraid to ask
But with our current encounter
I refuse to believe it
You're just too kind
Just too perfect
Did you really do it?
Did you really lie?
I hope she's everything you wanted Something I couldn't provide
Because when you left
you took a little bit of my mind
too
ketjil Oct 2019
I am afraid
Afraid to grow old
To have my hair turn white
And my hands grow gnarled
I am afraid
Of time
Shaping me
Making me
A different person
Changing me
I am afraid
To forget
The time
Long gone
I am afraid
Of running
Out of time

-jt
Daisy Ashcroft Oct 2019
I know you.
And so I know that you are not from here.
And that you want to go back to wherever you came from.
But you won't admit it - to me or to the world -
Because you are afraid:
Afraid of being rejected by that place and then
Having nowhere to go.
You can't believe that any longer;
if you continue this belief, you'll get nowhere.
And eventually this world will realise that you don't
Belong here and banish you anyway.
So don't keep lying
Because I can't be bothered
With this anymore either.
Good day to you.
And I hope you make up your mind
For it won't be long
Until...well
Do I really have to tell you?
Neo Dore Oct 2019
School? Tsk...Tsk...Tsk. What a spectacle.
I hear the bell chiming already- ding...ding...ding
Then sick and scowled, we'd walk right to were we were meant to be. "Meant to be". Heart pounding 'cos if we were late!? Or in the wrong place or mixed up the wrong dates!? No...no...no that was trouble. "The bell is the voice of God"  The priest(s) would say, each day, "and when it rings you must obey" A bell? I thought, the voice of God? I chuckled.

I remember the shadows of the seminarians watching.
The irate stare and feign smile. Weren't these men of God!?  They came in new and good, but give them a day or two and...and my God!!!
There were rumors of bizarre things that happened behind closed doors, no one "saw", but walls. I know someone was there. Had to be! When the last bell rang, and the lights faded out. People became monsters. It changes people. And it would, you too because real monsters are in the light and you too are one of them.

The mass either left you hungry and empty, guilty and filthy or just feeling good about yourself for no good reason because some preacher said: "Hark, all worries will be left behind, and all disappoint too, will be gone forever..."  It was the same thing, day in and day out. One man's crime was all mens'. And our tongue just clung to our mouth because who would dare raise a finger in anger to a priest? God's delegate.  There were rumors.  

There were rumors no one would admit they saw until dusk when the light-out hour came and we streaked together muffle and scoffled about everything. It was either that or we tried, however, we could to get food. Some even looted goods, black and white was the code and we hid it safe as gold. You won't get it. Sometimes people would go as far as...sign  

****...****...****
Heavy eyed and tired. The bell snaped you from your dream back to this hellfire. And before you blinked you were in class
Then smell of dry papers and ink, sound of pens screeching and then you see.
Students hastily walking to where they are meant to be? "Meant to be!?"
Teachers, few, pretty as rose and others old and cold. All claiming they had gold to impact on us. Most times, the men, well tucked, some tall and maybe bit lanky.

The priests were like ghosts. Some went as far as saying Godly. Their bellowing white-blue cassock whipped by, and while some would sigh, others would hush and some would rush to where they were meant to be. Meant to be. Now ghost quiet, staring from somewhere was the priest ghost silent...



.
Donna Bella Oct 2019
Afraid of the possibilities that I’ve seen but didn’t take
A simple step
A multitude that I uttered
The step I could have taken
The irresistible sweet savor of something that was missed
Afraid
I'm afraid
I am afraid to look back and regret my choices
to confront failure, a lack on my part
to assume responsibility for what I cannot do
a deterioration that never fails to ensue

I am afraid of taking on a new life
only to destroy the chance
to lose my friends all over again
to wash away any progress or mends,
ending up short of the beginning's bend

I am afraid of what lies await, this same monotonous pain
And that profound loss of gain
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