♡
Wake up
Break up
Put on my makeup
He pours me a smooth cup
Hey, darlin wasup?
♡

he was the kind of beautifully terrifying you can't seem to let leave your head after you've met and their every move stains your brain as you replay it over and over. i don't know the last time someone excited me just by being their self so unintentionally - you can only hope you hold that kind of power when you waltz in and out of somones life like that.

Eagle spread its long wings
follow the red rising sun
adventures awaits

He isn't just a book. I can't sum him up in a novel with limited chapters or words. He is an entire library, filled with shelf after shelf of books of adventures and magic. And it would be the greatest gift to spend the rest of my life, reading every single one of his amazing books he holds inside of him.

He liked it black
No sugar or cream
16 ounces of pure caffeine

I've never tasted something so bitter
The way it touched my lips
Made my body shake and quiver

This caffeinated high
Drives me to do such things
Like going on endless adventures
Reaching for the extreme

Building staircases in familiar places
But never reaching for the stars
Leaving only a slip of paper
Handwritten with a smile

Silly little light house
Sitting on the rocks
Laying there for hours
Singing and such

I could waste away here forever
There in your arms
But I rather have those
Black coffee kisses
So bitter, so strong

He liked it black
No sugar or cream
These black coffee kisses
Made me forever weak in the knees

I miss Chicago.

I miss walking everywhere with my best friend.

I wish I had been brave enough to take his hand on those walks.

I miss walking with my puppy to go meet him after class.

I miss the adventures we had, and planning more adventures with him.

I miss splitting pastries and snacks and meals with him.

I miss joking with him, laughing with him, playing videogames with him.

I miss the silly little nudging game we used to play on the couch, on the train, on the bus.

I miss when our stop was near and he would turn back and offer his hand so I wouldn't fall...and he would lead me to the door before letting go.

I remember the first time he held me...I thought I would lose my mind, I thought I would cry, I thought I would die.

When I close my eyes, I can still feel how his hands felt, intertwined with mine.

I miss laying in bed with him, listening to his heartbeat and just breathing him in, his arms around me.

I remember the time he fell asleep, his arms around me, his hands in my hair, his face so close to mine.

I should have kissed him then. Instead, I confessed when he woke...and he listened to me and let me cry for what couldn't be.

I miss when he would take my face in his hands and tell me everything would be alright.

He doesn't love me. Not like that. But dear god I felt loved, oh so loved, those two weeks.

you are the song
stuck in my head
for days

you are the book
i have been reading
but can't contemplate

you are the word
i can't quite
remember yet

you are the adventure
i wish to embark
if only i could

you are the risk
i wish i could
take once and for all

Go to the concert of a local band you've never heard of or have a water balloon fight at 2 am or go to a new restaurant you've been wanting to go to, but for god's sake, stop falling into the idea that you have to be traveling all the time or have tons of money to have incredible adventures and make your life mean something.

(Some of the best advice someone has ever told me.)