I was a certifiable ******
With the classic monkey
Riding squarely on my back
But I had no needle tracks.
I was almost undetectable
As my addiction was respectable.
No, I was not a rock musician.
I got my dope from my physician;
An almost never-ending source
Offered up with no remorse
I only had to mildly complain
That I was experiencing pain
And the cornucopia opened wide.
It held my immediate future inside.

I was off to party with friends
To the cabaret that never ends;
That free-wheeling waking dream
That made everything in life seem
As if nothing mattered that day
But that we should all stay and play.
And if something was getting tiring
It was time to retune the wiring
With a few more clever little pills
That cured all my temporary ills.

If I was exhausted or had an ache
It was time to take a little ****** break
Or, maybe not just that dosage alone.
Maybe better to take some Oxycodone.
Then, I can keep on night-club dancing
And backseat, hyper-speed romancing.
And later, needing sleep; a downer
Is good for an out-on-the-towner
Who has needed some rest for days
But the normal drugs and party ways
Wouldn’t quite let me get to sleep.
I felt that above all else, I had to keep
On doing what I was doing: having fun.
There was too much ******* to be done.

But every kind of candle has two ends.
There’s the one where the thing begins
And when I was trashing around a lot
Thinking of the other end was really not
The kind of thought-process I liked.
I wanted to do more of the kind that hiked
My awareness and my stamina to the max
And “injects my existence with what it lacks”.

While today I shudder to remember my words
At that time they were the best I’d heard
Since chocolate cake and butter cream icing.
None of that workaday stuff was to my liking.
It would be nearly twenty nearly deadly years
Before I found myself on a sidewalk in tears
Asking myself where things had gone wrong.
And while I am sure you are sick of this song
At the time it was a sad music to my ears.
Today, it’s the only music I want to hear.

I know you're bad for me,
but I'm addicted to you.
Cause you're my toxic anti depressant,
Couldn't do a **** thing but swallow.

Baby, your sugar coated lies rots my insides.

I feel as though I am constantly chasing after love
but the only thing I’m chasing is the bitter taste it leaves behind.

I can’t stop.

I've changed since then.
I've grown up, to learn from my mistakes.
I can't bare to keep it from you.
That pain I can not take.

The drugs and pleasure were not what I needed,
I moved on to think I had succeeded.
But I had pain inside, because I was not whole.
I did not speak the truth and words were not spoken.

Though it may have seemed fine, it wasn't.
I could not hide it anymore.
No lie or secret was worth the pain I felt.
I had to let you know.

I'm sorry I lied.
I'm sorry I failed.
But I know I can be forgiven.
For its what gods intentions would have felt.

You should know
You're just a temporary fix
She's a ****
An obscured partial eclipse
She runs and hides
Behind a mask of addictive scripts
She's the game
You just feel good against her melanin

You should know
She's incoherently captivating
She's a naked lady
Amaryllis Belladonna
Poisonous and pink
She'll hit a switch you can't describe
Concurrently splitting your spine
Yet enhancing the fruits of your mind

She's a ****
And you're just a temporary fix
Where she lives
Love does not exist

why do I find so much comfort in the darkness?
why is it so hard for me to not be so in love with feeling empty and alone?
people say I need to change, to fix myself, to love myself.
they don't realize how hard it is do so
when I have only felt happiness in myself
as the white powder is stuffed up into my brain?
why is the speed so enticing that I never want to be without it,
because without it I feel as if
I have once again fallen deeper into
the darkness than I ever was before.

Write a scary poem about Halloween?
Weirdest ode you've ever seen!!!
What is seen at Halloween?
Bloodsucking Salem zombies,
TV addict Abercrombies,
Spiders and maggots in their hair,
Crypts in the garbage tip over there,
Witches floating round my room
Fit right in here as they zoooooom............
Yes, my other car's a broom!!!!!!