i can hardly wait
to sleep in the grass.
rewrite a love song and
call it a night.

if only i could
see myself on stage
maybe we could skip
right to the part
where we win.

i couldnt believe
she left her favorite
song for something new.
maybe im no good
for an addict.
just here to speed
up the process.

id even dance
if thats what it took.
or maybe im a colorful
frame of reference.
how bad can it really be?

or maybe ive swam
too deep in the water
again. it wouldnt be the
first time i fell without
a place to land.

we could start as friends
or die as lovers.
or maybe even both
if we play our cards wrong.

Stuck in a life full of tragic
She wants to leave
And find her magic.
No, she’s not erratic.

Hides all her pride inside the attic
Of her mind
It's all just static
No, she's not dramatic.

She slips again, and starts to panic
She’s sinking fast
Like the Titanic
It’s just a habit, it’s automatic.
This isn't fairy tales that you read
It's ****** her dry she can't even bleed
She’s falling apart all over me.

She's in her room on the phone
Crying to me
That she's alone.
Her mind is stuck in traffic.

A pile of dreams under the bed
Once full of promise
Now torn to shreds, can’t admit it’s dead.

She tells me what she thought it would be.
Like it is on tv.
She’s no longer in the scene.
She picks it up right where she left it,
On the floor, she can't forget it.
This isn't magic.
This isn't habit.
This isn't tragic.
It's automatic.

Will never forget the first time
Was injected with an illegal drug
It was my suggestion
Laughed it off with a shrug

Addiction already running wild
Causing life torture and Hell
We reached the point where
We'd do anything to stay well.

I tentatively offered up
Opportunity, you jumped at the chance
Both saw the answer we craved
Hidden within the other's glance

Was scared, heart beating fast
Doubt building, I stared at the spoon
As the ****** melts, mind wonders
How did life change so much since yesterday afternoon?

Eyes that woke goblins within
Something darker in me
And night welcomed us weightless
Into a new barren wasteland, unevenly

Lucifers playing tricks in the dying light
Blinded in that foolish hour
I saw the syringe held softly in your palm
Goosebumps rose, was awed by its power

Of course fear on my face was clear
You made a half-hearted attempt for me
To ease concern, your cruel comfort
Did little to set uncertainty free

Something smoking deep inside
Whispered "this is leading nowhere good"
You touch flesh, searching for a vein
Stomach sinking, I am doing what I swore I never would

I swallow hard, you tie off my arm
Shoelace wrapped with indifference, no guilt in your eye
You glimpse the tears welling up fast
Say sharply "I'm not going to do it if you're going to cry."

But it is already in the needle
It is a little late to turn back now
I take a deep breath, suppress the teardrops
Shake shame off the sins I chose to allow

Turn my head to avoid the sick sight
Try to focus on the smell of coffee in the air
Let out a quiet whimper when the stinging pain hits
Wishing to teleport anywhere besides there

It was over after a few short moments
I felt better so I told myself it was okay
I promised it would be the last and only time
I have not parted with the needle since that day

After a long battle with tempting addiction
I came to senses about
The destroyed mess I made of my life
Fumbled through dark until I got out

To see my face happy now is a blessing
Is there any gift greater than to live?
When grass tickles bare stumbling feet
Today content with what Earth has to give

Cannot imagine a future with ****** in it
Rather be dead than go through thaf one more time
It is a road leading to no gain
Only desolation; a steep hill to climb.

Those days will always be etched in mind
Reminder not to be engulfed, to stay strong
Because of ever-present marks on both arms
Have no difficulty living right instead of wrong.