And so we all do this thing
Of using what one has said
Against who themselves said it.
Is it rejection? Deflection?
Is it acceptance? Confrontation?
It's about how we choose to take it,
Not how another interprets it.
Right?

We could bathe
In physical truth
                                    Perhaps we do
Neat or distilled
Drip fed
              Like water
In it’s any forms
Without place on the periodic table

Truth can be softened
                          In our fragility
          Hardened
                          By others resilience

Worn by the face of a manikin
        At peace within the world

If that’s what you wish it to be

There are a lot of eras
You may be on your best or worst one yet
And sometimes you don’t even know it

A lot of things can happen
That you’re not prepared to
So you just have to accept it

It can either be the beginning
Or the end
Of something great
Or awful

Advice is not something you can always receive
But surround yourself with good people
And you won’t even need it

The moments are what matters
If you live them correctly
The eras don’t have importance

Leave the past behind
Even if it hurts
You’ll never forget it
But do not dwell on it

Care about the future
But not too much
As you also need to enjoy the present

Be happy of the era you’re in
Because you cannot change it
So at least benefit from it

Benevolence - the armor
Amour - is not to be judged
  Sculpting own sanity out
  Collapses under the shin - the teardrop
  Nomadic - of selfless thoughts - giving all in
    Assurance - to forcefully adopt
    From the brink - malnourished consent
    To articulate - though no will
      An open heart has - to fuel a soulless
      Machine - on the spire of -
        Consciously drowning revolt
          With life put in bank -
          Winning a glance, a thought and a breath    
          Embodying the loss with a smile

a little bit of violence goes a long way.
say no to your reflection,
watch it fall apart into scattered fragments.
all of them are still you, remember?
now they can be used as a concealed weapon.
if you choose to do so, aim at the heart,
for you're not a butcher, you're a sculptor,
and this shard isn't a knife, but a scalpel.
watch the lines disappear as you cut.
it's unlike you to worry about blood
as long as it doesn't stain your dress,
as long as you lose some parts
in the process,
getting rid of all the unwanted layers.
all of them used to be you, remember?
kept asleep by injections,
kept awake by the pain.
flaws don't have a say on the matter.
a little bit of violence goes a long way.

When I walked past the casket,
And I set down at my pew,
I tried to conjure memories,
That would remind me of you.
While others cried, I stayed silent,
Cursing myself for seemingly not feeling a thing,
And when we left the church,
Numbness remained.

You lived a good long life,
You saw a lot through your lifetime,
We may not have been related directly,
But you were a close friend of the family.
You’d been through more than I could imagine,
You were around well before I came around.

The person who preached,
Who summarized a life in a few paragraphs filled with sentences,
Said something that stood out to me.
“Eventually, they’ll come a day,
Where more people you know are beyond than down here.”
While that seemed to be a cause for celebration,
All I felt was existential fear.

I’ve lost a lot of those I loved.
My neighbors to the right,
And an uncle who tried,
And now I can add to the list a family friend.
Through each death,
Death held my hand,
His cold touch led the way to acceptance.
I can’t change what happened,
Can’t bring them back to leave a few more years for me,
Until I was satisfied,
Cause I know I’d never be satisfied.
Though, as I cried,
He traced his bony finger across my cheek,
Drying my tears before he left,
Leaving behind a few simple statements.
“The loss you feel is proof they mattered.
Don’t let their death add to your mental clatter.
You believe in a place beyond this mortal plane,
So why waste your tears when you know you’ll see them again?”
I laughed in his face.
“If only it was that easy, Death.”
I remarked with pain.
Yet, as he left,
I knew he was right,
Barbara,
We’ll meet again,
In due time.
Until then,
Take a look down here now and again,
I’ll know.
So,
Farewell for now.

You leaned on me,

And I held on tight,

Cuddling together,

Just as friends,

On a Saturday night.

Your laughter warm,

And smile bright,

Your touch was gentle,

But never mine.

I stayed in the shadows,

Watching you shine,

Supporting you quietly,

Watching you thrive

I heard your thoughts,

I caught your tears,

And supported your dreams,

But I never became one.

I watched you reach out

For what I’d never be.

And you broke me gently,

Never your intention,

And never knowing,

But I know you felt it.

Our unspoken love,

Platonic or not,

It is forever growing.

Don’t leave me alone
I can’t even feel my heartbeat anymore.
I see it in your eyes, the hesitation,
But please, don’t go. I’m slipping, panicking.

I know you need something I can’t give,
Something buried too deep to reach.
You turn away, reluctant to look,
Afraid of what you’ll see in me.

I sink to my knees, too tired to fight,
Sleep won’t come, but death is near.
He stands at my door, key in hand,
Waiting. patient. certain.

Fear wraps me in riddles,
But I know I’m still here,
Still grasping for one last moment
Just for tonight, will you hold my hand?

One last time, whisper your goodbyes.