We're a world and generation set on depersonalization
Where everything is on social media but everyone is scared to socialize.
We all promise we "just need to vent" but is it venting or is it depression?
"He loves me, he's just tired. Its not abuse, she's just tired. I'm not okay, I'm really tired."
We all need to stop and chill without the help of benadryl.
But we need the drugs to feel normal.
A normal that they tell us to be
on the covers of our magazine
When we are all medicated to achieve the status quo
We can't learn from our mistakes if we can't remember them.
Instead of dealing with the guilt,
we soak in a bath as if the lavender suds will rinse away our ****** personality
We do it nightly and call it self care.
And the self care we really need is lunch that isn't Oreos and to join therapy.
We fill the empty hole inside of us with cigarettes and ***** and food
And we don't even know we're empty because our parents are empty too
And the only ones who can recognize the absense
Are the same ones telling us to work harder to buy our first house and car before the age of 25
When really, we haven't even settled on what we want to be when we grow up
Our grandparents and parents beg us to have babies because "I'm not getting any younger."
But I'm quickly getting older Dad, so shut up and let me drink until I pass out without worrying about how much my child will have to heal from, just like I'm healing now with Bacardi 151.
Its a cycle and there's no handle bars
Celebrities writing songs and movies, a fill-in-the-blank series that mimics a horoscope
To drag in the masses with feelings of unity when really we have no idea what our brother went through when we were laying on our uncle's bed at midnight at 5 years old.
They want us to be the same except for when its not convenient, and suddenly the children of rich people are to be scorned but they hate the black people who hate the black rich people
And its another cycle, the chain popped off and the brakes are our feet
Just like when we were kids except now we have no shoes on and we are rolling down a hill that stops at a lake
And our empty parents forgot to teach us how to swim.
Its 2019 now, when will  America be great in the first place?

it feels like i am floating in space.
never really sure what day it is,
what time it is,
or how long i’ve been in this one place.
my determination and prevalence
mold the time into one recognizable moment.
and while i continue to run,
i run aimlessly towards a goal
i no longer see.
all i know is that it’s what i want to be.

-abc

2018 was an extremely tough year for me. I've been through some unfathomable things in my life, but last year was by far one of the most trying.

I learned that boundaries are important and more people should practice establishing and respecting them.

I learned that ultimatums aren't love. If someone cared for you, they would be understanding in their approach to your existence.

I learned that people are going to do what they want to do regardless and the only thing you can do is be a positive force or influence that stands along side someone else in their trying time.

I learned that it is important to always strive to forgive because it relinquishes another person's control over yourself and your emotions. Forgiveness isn't for the person that hurt you, it's for your own peace of mind.

I learned that it's easier to sleep at night when I did everything I could.

I realized that it's okay to have bad days, it's okay to ask for help, I don't have to be so ******* myself, and I deserve the best because I refuse to settle for less.

It's kind of funny
I almost didn't have it
But I'm glad I did

'Twas only a year
But everything changed so much
That I'm not the same

I have said little
So caught up in my life that
I have yet to write

Four school principals
But now I am free of that
From FCPS

Rapid fire news
Three different protests aloud
In response to it

And my views have changed
March I did not tell, but then
I joined DSA


I have changed my world
Flipping between three websites
For my social life

I have changed my town
College is hard at times, but
I love it so much

With chosen family
A punk scene and D&D
I don't want to leave

It was not painless
But somehow I got up and
Finally got help

And then I came out
Free from parental meddling
Finally honest

Still I play fiddle
Still I watch Marvel movies
Still the same workplace

But within a year
My worldview has changed so much
And I can't go back

Nor do I want to
In spite of future challenge
I now love my life

So to the new year
No matter what it shall bring
I will be ready

The end of 2018 is very near.
In just a matter of hours, 2019 will become the new year.
2018 was a sad year because my aunt died.
After 43 years of marriage, my uncle lost his bride.
But 2018 didn't completely ****, I've seen worse years.
In just a matter of hours, 2019 will be here.