As I laid my hand on the moon;
She started to wan out!
It broke my heart to realize
I never was light but just an eclipse!

I feel shallow all the times
These days
I want to feel the depth
Everything's so easy and empty
I feel no desire for all the things
Around me

This morning I just felt like
Filling myself with poetry
Easy words
But high in intoxication

I am soon going to run to mountains
Soon shall I dip in the lake of grandeur
Smile at the vastness of creation
Fill me with sunshine

But today let me just enjoy the blandness of life
May be someday I will find meaning out of this too

I do not mind your silence anymore
And I will not ask you to hold my hand
I do not seek for your embrace anymore
And your longing will no more dwell in my mind
You are I, I am you
You and I, No more Two

Was it fun to dip you fingers in my pain

Pretty face with hideous intention
Warm smile with razor sharp officiation
Gifts wrapped with high pressure conation
Enough could never mean Enough
Drag me slowly to your cave of hedonism
Ring me with jingle bells
**** me with television tales
Quench you hollowness
Fry my ignorance and feed your emptiness
Your dripping desires of spicy pleasures
You drag me for a hand to hold
You carry me in my time of gold
and you surely know when to run

well well
I was never late to know the time to curb

When was the last time we were friends
Truth began when friends outspaced

The strings of soft dusk breeze
connects your thoughts to me
And I vanish from the life

Shiny moon smiles low
Pretty stars fail to show
I am marching with my lies

You fly above the clouds
oh wind, fly me there above
The lights are all gone

The quilt of eiderdown
Covers my sorrow but mind
quickly dreams your face

I see wings on your arms
you call my name and
Lovely things of my eyes

My love by my side
Pleasant sights
walking down the lane

Candle blows, rooster crows
Sun rises over the realm
No more wings, no more you
the dream falls soft like snow

Standing here like a child long left in oblivion
Staring into the deepest abyss of the hole-
Stuck like my most important part, now
Created after quick perforation of emotions
One quick tumble down the street - Astray
Think back, Think one more time ; vertigo!
Drop down to unconscious limbo - trying!
Eyes still open to illusions around vicinity
Yell a silent disapproval of praxis- moving on!
Hold me! The fall comes back!
Pull me up ; my hand stuck to my heart!

For love in memory


Memories are sweet embrace on a good day
And the same shatter you down once she's away
Time is a memory that you string together
Good or bad, love once loved is remembered forever

Everywhere you go, you carry what's not your
Easy iffy shall **** you everyday in life here
Set your roots good below before you fly in love
For if you fall, let not you dry like thirsty dove

Love shall grow wild and healthy in its youth
And the same love,once old, be a sweet ripen fruit
Make a wish, oh good love, a wish for every lover
Let love once loved be lighted forever
Let memories be as sweet as once it was and even more
Let love once love be lighted forever

For love that mourns


The news parks over me
an uncomfortable silence,
such pity, void of reasons
and the worst comes as
all the cracks get filled up
with smile and modesty

Just this afternoon, I
was preached about the
beauty of mortality, the
peace death bestows upon
life rippled by chaos and
choas piercing inside us the
needle of silliest phobia-
of dying, of peace that is
eternal, for real.

The breezes denies its movement
The sun hides behind clouds and
her smile still peeks at my silence,
which fails me under its gravity
I wonder mourning upon the real loss
If this is beauty of death, tears
hidden under cracks of helplessness
smile that lies of things being Okay

okay! such beauty ,the death
leaves for the livings, to kins
and friends who will still deny to
carry that breathless corpse..
thesilence won't speak up
this is just circle of life
ending nowhere but just here
right here under tears
burning down to ashes

With the smoke rising up, I
pray and hope its true, all
soul that rises up turns to star
they will never leave us and this
particular soul, do watch upon her
forever and more.
But still those stars that shine
burns hearts which beats

For Her,
As it may seem its just you
You may have chosen the hard way
believing you are on your own
I offer you my silence and me ,
who won't mourn but hold on
The star may seem to have fallen but
it will be eternally gazing upon you

With every loss, a new kingdom
of peace is founded
I am not grieved more than you
But the cracks dripping tears will still
be more beautiful than plasters of smile
Let the heaven sing for eden he will find
Let you be what he truly desired

(This is sad but this is how it is)

Ghost of Night

Night engulfs me with its sombre darkness
Cigarette glowing with all its fury
I try to lit my heart and search,
something I never had
and that always went missing
Questions rumble loud inside
Lots of questions, like unending drops of monsoon
hitting the roof above me
And the question always starts with 'why'
I always believed I was hopeful,
Future will welcome me with good accords.
How long will it take to find the future?
Its scary to consider if I will be always stuck in past.
I try to find among the ashes going down on tray,
the answer to every why.
night slugs down its way
The rain piter-patter continuously, undesirous to stop
I wonder about the picture of damaged organs
on the cover of cigarette packet,
Are these even real?
(I peek inside and wonder why so much of smoke in there)
At times I peek out of window
hoping to see stars above rain.
All the lights from starry sky lost among heat of monsoon.
Hope always covered me with disappointment
If only I had a mystical pet of nine coloured feathers
That could fill me with colours enthusiasm. (why)
Is that moon that's glowing meekly over there
or am I just sleep deprived?
Every night ***** little life out of me. (why)
It won't be surprise to find my breath
held inside ,
cold and undaunted by questions,
one fine morning.

1.
Cluster of night light
Season of dark renaissance
Cloudy autumn spree

2.
Weeping Memories
Attuned Melancholic Scream
Dead and lost Spring

3.
Flutters of Dust Speck
Round around Nothingness
Milky Way Express

I like stars.
They struggle.
I like how they wait whole day
just so they can shine at night, when its dark.
Only at night
and **** those clouds.

Happy-
Many of us want to be.
But like moon, only few
get chance to shine
So Bright- although
Inherently with no light.

But stars-
I am one of them,
I suppose
Trying to;
Struggling to be happy;
To dispose our light.
and yet,...
I hate clouds.
they are not fluffy or anything.

And there are millions of stars
who falls in love with moon
baffled by its artificial light.
Just like me.
And, we are happy-
sort of.

We imagine things with Moon.

I wish I could
talk with birds
I wished I could
Talk with humans

I hate you
because I cannot love you anymore
From now, you are not my star eyed girl
Nomore I will see your image on moon
I am burning all the love I bought for you
Its cold like your heart which I broke
Or vice versa
I will not love you anymore
The season has changed
It hardly rains
But only you will lack my love
The dog in my neighbourhood
still wags his tail at me
The girl with braces smiles
at me, everyday, every morning
I smile back and I wait for her to
remove those braces
Now I hate you, I can kiss her too
I do not write love letters
which you said classic affection
I hate classics like I hate you
I am back to myself
only without half of me
But I do not miss you
Because the parrot in my home
still calls your name
My mother still thinks you will come
to see her
after you return to town
She still loves you, not knowing
you never left the town
Not me, I hate you

I was so sure of she being Jasmine.
Whereas in her soul, she was a dandelion.
And today I sit here watching, her flight.
And today I sit here inspired, by her flight

The lady dandelion on the flight,
flying across the oceans and height
granting wishes with warmth and grace
was I just a fool trying to hold to her pace?

After remembering you
for all these time
I have just forgotten you
I am happy for nothing
and I am sad for nothing

I try to remember
the eyes that swallowed me whole
with awe and ardor
and I remember eyes with tornados
where I lose myself in despair
I try to feel your lips
that tasted something like
soft cotton candies slowly melting on my mouth filling me with all the sweetness
and leaving marks on me, red and raw
and I feel my lips dehydrated n dry
like ancient ponds at the end of our locality
I feel my hands which feels like
it has at some point felt something
and I donot remember that touch

I have forgotten how you look
and every next lady walking down the street resemble you
Everyone smiles at me for nothing
I sit around the corner of the old broken bus stand
waiting for nothing
Just trying to remember if
we had ever shared any love here
My shoulders waiting for someone
to rest their head on it
My fingers trying to tiptoe over
arms n thighs, I suppose
I have forgotten you nice and well
May be this was the place where
you kissed me last time
before I started to forget you
But I do not remember who you are
I forgot you hard and bad

I have some secret feelings
Which only I can feel
Which only I have known
And no matter how much something
relates, they won't ever be same
But I cannot write saddest lines like Neruda
nor can I get drunk like Bukowski
with these feelings of mine
They know no words
But they are master of silent dark tortures
Which only I know
When the night engulfs me whole
I shine with inhibitions
They dance over my skins like cataract
And I drown with condemn for myself
I get burnt under water and buried above clouds
And only I can feel it
No matter how deep I hide, these will never leave me
And I know this because I have tried
I sit beside window
My secret feeling glancing at me from moon
from stars, from clouds
and bullies me sometimes with gush of wind, sound of dogs
and engines tht rolls
late at night
The building with a light turned on
in one of the rooms
puppets my feelings with shadows
There lies two beings biting hard at my wounds
And I just sit at my window feeding them
With smokes of metaphors and alcohol of rhymes
Beacause only I can save me
which I fail everytime.
or only she can save me
And I am sure to die of this.

Forever swirling down the abyss
I have watched and exclaimed at faces
To those smiles who bear love
Exposing everything that made ne
To those heart sparkling with affection
Forever and still, I keep watching
and I have been watching
Those bodies turning back at me
Those smiles fading away
How much more, I wonder,
is remained of my heart
Turned to ashes with every denial
How much longer,I wonder,
till those ashes turn to stone
Forever cursed to swirl down the abyss

I waft through solids
I cling to the non existent
I creak and croak as I rotate
I beep as I sling
I am running straight in spirals
Nothing is ever same
But I am. I am same with all the noises
The noise of valley, and misty entropy
Here,carried along with dusty nebula
Nothing ever seems same. But I am.
I exist forever same with incoherent drift.

In darkness, you prevail

Tripsy illusions caress sweet lies
Fondled by night, smile my eyes
Cannot beg you more than a touch
The gravity of moon is not enough
How shall I fly, How do I rise
Ghostly allusions feeds me surprise
Crippling occasions haunts me
Why shan't it, tranquil havoc thee
With your incomplete memories
Anxiety hovers over my skies
As dark gets thicker by every moment
cover me warm, another longing thus spent


sun shines beyond the cloud
at night its different story though

Insane austere hallucination

The last day of year is once again here
And it feels like someone is dying
I should celebrate perhaps
and I am.
I should and So I will!

The feeling of uncomfortable happiness is creeping from above my toes to my head and beyond
to high and infinity
-The giant hairy creepy happiness.
Death is not usually celebrated
but some are exception
and party is totally not optional.

Just like in Ghodejatra the death of Tundi is still celebrated.
oh poor demon!
Just like in bisket jatra the death of two big big giant snakes out of queen's nose is celebrated
What a auspicious occasion to celebrate
And so will I.
I should so I will!
The end of another year won't be same anymore.

I must feel lucky
for what faith has endowed on me.
I must so I will.
And as I witness the clouds covering the corpse of late year I cry with extreme pleasure
Sorrowful.But the sorrow isn't supposed to be mournful.
Because its death of what should have never breath.


I never needed dose of Mushroom or LSD or whatever the fancy name the drugs is called by.
I always lived somewhere else.
I was always dead at the moment.
And I always felt like I was living my death
May be in hell.
So I must have been bad when I actually lived.
I cant forge any other logic from what I learnt in this world.
My birth was hallucination.
I am in trip since then
and the world is going round round round.
I can feel at the speed of 465 meter per second.
Its a derived scientific data.

May be tomorrow is new day of new year.
But it will be just another year of hangover.

Hang on new year!

what is that you make me feel
you rip me apart and fix me
with same words and voice
with silence and with time
and sometimes I think
is it the peace of afterlife
or just chaos imposed by your ways
you are the sculpture of goddess
that I was taught to worship
and why there demons on your breath
why is that I found you
what was there in losing me
what is in the love you blame
if you find pleasure in surrounding me
why didn't you just hold my hand
what is that you feel of me

you give me pain of repentance upon ***** fragrance
and why do I smile when you speak inside
You took me and my darkness
is it just to fill me with new

why did I find you
when did I lose me
what is that you gave me
why are you paradox to me
sandwiched I am in between
is it just one final desire to hold you
is it the eternal flame of search
what is that you make me feel
a radical transformation
or am I just lost within

I lie down on my bed
with a book, I am not reading,
in front of me
There is a clear knock from the door
and I know, someone wants me
to open it
but I will not
I have not lied here to please people
I am in my regular
mood swings
contemplating about issue
which may appear so oblivious
to real eyes, but not
and this can result in another
end of world
Its not easy to deal with people
and there is hardly anyone
who can deal with my mood swings
But they are still mine
I open the door in the calmest way
with a grusome look
there is the person
that will make you go
all back in love
but I cannot understand
why is love such a beautiful thing
when all it offers is pain in the end

At times like this
When I slowly vanish
within me, from me
I feel her love and -
our love, (our)

Her voice, such dope.
The song she sang
when I first met her.

Not long after that
I approved all the cliches of love
in my own way, and took pride
on my new found zeal.
How sweet! (how sweet)

And in the blink of eye.
"Blink" like blink of eye!
The world which I forgot
Never turned back, but
I had to return back.

Thank you lady.
You left me words to write.

My poems are painful to me
The words I collect are
embers of her memories
She burnt me like
wildfire of Chaitra
I liked the fire better
The embers, not really.
Just this poem.

Future is uncertain, even the nearest
but in this uncertainty you are certain
to **** me
with your silent tortures
Dear Murderer,
Kiss me cold as I start boiling warm in your love
As my mind start thawing with anxiety
And as the fumes of my soul rises
above the silent hills
of those sealed lips
With rain falling of tears belonging
to crime undesired
Take me to the cave twisted with intentions
I shall follow your silence to eternity
Till my breath learns the silence
that hides what a mortal can never understand
And it was true
when I said
I will hold onto you even if it means following you to grave

Lifeless inside of me,
the light peeks, spring up
Do not hold despair on
finding little mud in island of gold
Hear the echoes you inscribed
from the top of the hill
,you named success

Life up.
Taste the mud sometimes
In mud get nourished new seeds
Say hello to your friends
Do not be surpriser if they
offer you their clean handkerchief
they are friends, that explains

Run with denial for things that
do not belong to you
Run with spirits from place where
you don't belong
you are born to live and
show how its lived!
Life up!

A crow in sorrow
drenched in monsoon
The song of new season
that flooded the village
And the once green cornfields
now enzymed so minutely
A crow sings today
for his wife is waiting
and his children are waiting
drenched in monsoon

A vulture soaring upright his zenith
A happy season to follow
drenched in monsoon
And less he cares the thunders
or the bolts of lightening
the angry droplets eating up the village
A vulture drenched in monsoon
waits for the last crow
A feast to be ready

Some die in despair
Some in excitement
In season to change

There is only a heart that gets broken and there are many hearts you break... Still you feel at loss!

Loud Silence

The beating of my heart has changed suddenly
Breath become anxious
Past has gripped over my realm,
one more time
There has been time when
I wanted nothing of past
I can remember myself claiming
"All I live, I live for now"
I am naive. I fail to judge myself
Had only love been some algebra!
Take me home through this lonely road
The yearning beats inside me
the heartbeat like never before
Why in future we dream
How do we live for now
When time and again past haunts us
If only love had been some equations
I sit by the corner,
which each day totally feels new
with my friends laughing over drinks and chicks
and I, laughing over tragedies
The beating of my heart has changed aggressively
maddening the evening
If only a phone call would clear away some sentiments
I lose myself every time
I give up so easily these days
It feels like all my energy is being spent only to
guard that small dark chamber
you created for me
to hide all that you left behind
Why is sun not bright enough all the time
and why do moon shines keep me awake
All I drink I drink for you
To fight with the world, kick myself out of here
To helplessly laugh at these ruins that never fades away
but stays there silently
like some war memoir
Shall I be proud for keeping you alive in memories
While I kneel down with this loud silence beneath

Love~
Today the wind whispers
Air wet with showers of endearment
and...I sing your name
blended in echoes of euphoria

Oh Love! So red and tender
Hands over heart,
Come gently.
Lets go,Me and You
Lets Fly
On our wings of Smile
To land far away
To kingdom waiting in zest
Eagerly for its King and Queen

Oh Love! So white and serene
Trembling with silence
Come heartily
No more to us we belong
No more distinct we remain
Lets vanish in this mysterious void
Lets surrender to this stillness
You hold my hand
You have my heart
and ...I kneel before you

In this quiet breeze of passion
We have bound the future
To love we surrender
In love sweetly forever

As the clamor in the room grew more intense with high pitched curses and defenses against it, I could see my reflections lying shattered into pieces.

The first day it was brought in,I had felt some very unnatural anxiety circulating with every flicker of my light. It shone with me and inside it showed me. Had I ever thought that my reflections would be so clear to me? Not until I saw it for myself. And in it, I could see the whole world shining under my light.

She would get ready under my light asking her lucid image if she looked any better with the ear-rings he gifted her today. I could just stare at the sharp beauty that shone. Next day, she was extra joyous and had some pretty dresses for outing.

Days passed and may be years, Me with the mirror, we shared all the happy moments growing inside the room once filled with dilemma of solitude. Noises have started turning to moans and kisses flowered over the mirror. I was always available to ease things up. Under my light, love started to turn their emotions to actions and we grew fond of new member of the room who showed up every night and then who was there all the time.

I shared all these changes with mirror and in utter silence, we grew fond of each other. When you start reflecting yourself in someone else you, that grows into you as your own part. Every reflection is a turn back at the memories that string you life. We shared rushes and pushes, bends and highs, jokes and promises, smiles and fondling ; all as a silent audience but I was now more into mirror than myself and I chose things left to right than it actually appeared. Love makes you do silly things with utmost care.

But love gets infected with what should have never got into room of love. She was lying in total mess that day. Not that we hadn't noticed once lovely caress turning to curses but such things generally ended with some fondling and moonbeams that washed them away.

When he entered inside with a thud, we just shook with vibrations that traveled through wall. As the clamor slowly ceased down, the story began with my reflections shattered to pieces. I was searching in every pieces for one complete me and the story ends with me trying to collect my own pieces.

We were always made of same thing. Something is never realized until we are broken.

I can see in your eyes searching
for air, to ignite once again
the love long forgotten
bethroned and smashed into ashes
kneeling down the porch
of niche sentiments
You must have noticed I have
lost my synchronism with your heart beat
There is no air I can offer
You must have felt my hands,
cold in lack of emotional dexterity
If you think your eyes can thaw my heart
please try. Its been long I have enjoyed the spring
My senses have lost its way,
not wanting to fall again
my eyes, they still are cold
And that stare you have
the lips dry in lack of love
the strangled hairs lacking the caress
and my fingers clumsy with hesitation
I can say, it will be long time before
we can melt together again
And I would not let you down this time
if you never leave my hand

Face to face,
Across the table with some complementary drinks
Anxiety clearly dancing at our legs
It been hour or so
talking about our favorite writers
the music that gives us solace
the taste of today's morning tea
how I ended up having boring day at office
how you had nothing much to say
the preparation for careers
our ex
our parents
our siblings
and the world in middle east
and some gossips from west
How we both hate Korean flicks
and Indian TV serials
but...
all these are delightful distractions
seems to work weak today
because the temperature have risen
the level of mercury beyond limits
and with my mouth talking whatever
finger tapping to hide some unknown violation
my eyes is glued at the tiny peek from
your low cut tops
My mind plays violin synchronizing
with the movement of your tight jeans which
gracefully captures the swaying hips
Why does your lips appear extra luscious today?
and why do I think I am someone else today?
Gasping at the breath I finally mutter
"let's talk about *** baby;
lets find some place, may be"
The question mark on your eyes gives a stare
Which was all needed to pull out the animal in me
I wink at you with the unique expression of lust
You know what I mean.
The desire fires the way it deems.

The sun breathing deep,penetrating
my lovely clouds ,his horses
Running high and with pride
taking joy at my wanning mood

My skin denies the clothes over it
Rejecting the sweltering walls
Adding me with more sweat
Was there any worse day?

Inside my temporal erupts atomic
volcanoes fueled with solar fission
My legs hang over walls of ponds
How lucky are the frogs under mud

With involuntary scratches on my hair
I look around for my baby clouds
The only drops that gather is my own
As I patiently wait for wind
to drop some leaves

Patience might be the only virtue
against the dry spell of the sun
in the middle of monsoon
That seem to burst prior clouds

Trees hang their branches patiently
Crows crowing, now tired of thirst
Not a single ant comes on my way
The ever growling dog sits irritated
but quietly against the fly

I can tell of every thoughts around
But who is there to answer
Will this day come to end
or shall the world end for it

There, I whisper quietly
Words that make no sense
But have deep meaning
At the empty cup
of which I sipped the last possible drops
of my morning tea
Now all there is left in it -
The future built in healthy past
All the possible pasts
And the most deranged present
Probably,
The reflection is not true to me anymore

All these grounds of reality have sunk too low
And my expectations have rose so high
Sometimes I wish I was DC Comic Character
with flying abilities
and for some reason I am high
since few days
not because of some hallucinogens
No, Not the tea
of colourful thoughts painted in black and white dreams
The birds outside chirp in a strange tone
Like some mechanized toy
Its already hard to find a bird in my surrounding

The cup was long gone
Realizations failed to realize this event
Until I got off my  chair and
got a piece inside my skin

Dreams are just like that
They fall off without getting noticed
and they get shattered
You fail to realize until you start walking
after a long sigh, out of apprehension
after a short rest
and you have already missed your way
You get back just a piece of memory
Every moment redefines you
Every morning tea is a memory
Every cup is just a moment

she is the filthiest, her words profane
she offends me with rejection, her desires insane
can I ever find her? her - who is not hers anymore

There is a secret chamber on my crib
Secret enough to hide me when I want to leave behind the world
Secret enough to shelter me when I am alone

I usually go to the secret chamber
Sit there for hours
and hours
and plus some minutes, just to sit there
Sitting there I think about many things
Many things from world
and beyond world
Many things about horses of our world
and Unicorns which are beyond our world
Many things about rainfall in the monsoon
and Stars shower beyond our world
and many things which makes sense
and things that doesn't make any sense except to me

I love my secret chamber
For the peace it gives
For the turbulence it settles down
For freshness and the energy afterwards

And I noticed today, Since many days
Many things I think about, in my secret Chamber
has been all about you
many things all about you!

I was connecting you with many things
things happening and that has happened to me, around me
I was
drawing pictures of you, flying on my pet unicorns
My unicorn would take you above the clouds
and I would come there from the secret pass of my imagination
Just to see how happy you are
How excited you have been

I connect you
Making equations of your and my principles
your activities relating to mine
your necessities compared to mine
just to make sure
there is a balance of emotions and logic

Today, i was taking a nap on my chamber
where I had a dream
about you
you were gone
your weren't playing with my unicorn
and your parts were all gone from my equations

Terrified I woke up
I was drenched in sweat and
trying hard to find some air
My secret chamber gave me no more peace
I felt jailed inside
I felt I was under custody of my imagination
my desires and my own dedication

I cannot think of anything else
I am just waiting for you to
come back and hold me again

I was told then, by someone inside my head
you got reasons to leave

just like that, you leave! and reasons???

I have been hearing gossips about you being
imaginary
but you make sense to me
how can you not be real?

and I also hear
you being a bad dream

I don't know If it was supposed to be Good
I don't care if it is not good at all
All I know is I still care
All I care is if YOU are here!

because
Since many days, on my secret chamber
I have been thinking about many things
many things all about you
without you, I have nothing to do
Without you, I am who?

Not the eyes that would blink anymore
But see as the image shuffles across them
Wide open drips red as you stare
Things you desire to learn crawls beneath

Wouldn't it be nice to drop few tears
the moment of pleasure would grow so near

Watch the tension as he ties the world
Decaying world that has fallen apart
Fluttering hands embracing two dead souls
Wrecked pieces sprinkling upon his brow

Wouldn't it be nice to buy new dreams
Happy wouldn't look ragged anymore

As you pry, diamond turn to coal
Can you care enough even to know
As jigsaw flies away from place
deafening words sings of new found love

Hit him with frisson of new found love
What got him lost; which never he found

With my head
still on my bed
I try to peek out for new lights
for new inspiration
for new myself
among the crowds of desolate.
Everyone is excited about some new year.
Me too.
and I look back at the old year
and the older one
more older one.
I remember my friends
the members of my family
the rags on the street
the kings of the doomed
Try to look at their old year and new year
everyone is happy.
much smile and happiness.
But they fear tomorrow they have to forfeit
what today they are celebrating.
even the newspaper.

I never celebrated the name.

the beep sounds from distant slowly fades inside my head
the box quivering with agitation gives more sound of beeps
something i never felt before hits me hard, inane race stirs up
I-
stand back, not knowing when the senses left and came back

Thrills - run wild over ups and downs of not so lovely brains
the beeps buzz around like the never end ceasing sound of 'OM'
something I never desired for me, mockingly banters around
I-
stand back, not wanting to feel the same air again and the heat

What new it possibly could fill me with when everything around is ragged and rusted;
When there is no paint to color them and there is no scrubs to clean.

What can I possibly speak on my behalf, there is nothing more I have left for explanation. Like some dementia, I circle around my own periphery to find out what could I have left behind and end up questioning all the things which were there with tags of well-accepted meanings. The meanings now slowly rises up like smokes from the chimney of the distant brick factory. It suffocates me already! yet the distance so far and it will never reach me. And I pick out my pen and start giving every subjects and objects disposed in me with the marks of asterisk. Now then, I go for the corner which I can't find anywhere because I am already floating in the space of nowhere land like a nowhere man. Just plain agitating suffocation is the feel you get in nowhere land. Blood ***** up all my stored energy to rush and cover a distance of less than one hand from heart to my brain. It fountains out through my eyes. But no reds!!! Just blue!



Let me  clear some space from the middle of everything and give a big asterisk with a big question mark '?' on its side.

The last (for today) beep sound bring me back to my senses. The message from the other corner of telecom network doesn't seem to make everything alright but I seem to collect my own image on this world.

"Maaf garnu hola tapai le samparka garnubhayeko number uthena"

I hurl my bag and zip my jacket.

Take me where you want to, take me where now I need to
Take me home or let me crawl;or just let me kiss the ground
Enough is never enough. More is less than more. take me out if you can
I-
stand back, moving just means passing out and coming back .

Let me pass or take me through. Its a cold new year day, isn't it?

Well, HAPPY New year!

An abuser in eye painting songs of love
so sharp with disguise
Unrealized mystery of hypocrisy
burns dead skin of my heart
trip down already, isn't late to realize yet?
oh right! you... all smiles!

i loaned few quotes from bank today
a huge interest and whole heap of silence
the loudspeaker also broke down today
see, you, my hunny bunny sweet apple pie
what a pleasant day for my ears
and you.... alll smiles

caress me some like you love the fur
wasn't you who said "life's ours to live when alive"
i dont get it , which is why i hate you now
life is only act of dead people feeling alive
but yeah right.... all smiles

my sweetheart, please die!

There are good poems
and there are bad poems
and apart from that
there is NO POEM

I usually go with NO Poem
"no poem" is my way of poetry
Good poems are sensible
They are written with words of senses
Words with intelligence
Words of emotions
Words of virtue
Bad poems are irresponsible
Poems of offence
Poems of unhealty mockery
they are written with nonsense
and I am with NO poems
because
I am neither sensible
nor irresponsible
I neither make sense
nor do any nonsense

"I am stuck!"
that usually happens when I write poem
and in the end
there is NO POEM
No poem is my way of poetry

*But this poem is not No poem
it is a bad poem

We could have been together
for one more day
for one more night
We could talk
how sad it would be
How sad we all are
for things we lose
for people we care
for days that were sunny
You were gentle when you left
I wish you were gentle all the time
But you amaze me
with your blunt ways n sharp words
how could I fall in love with that
I will miss noone more
not your gentleness

Dreams cone as one
under the lights of city
of city hustling inside mind
Rustling breezes of letters
seeking stairs on your service
under the night of city
of city bewildered so high
here, dreams cone as one

the beauty gasp under the bridge
praised under suffocation
On sale for shillings
while truth flowing out of town
seek solace beyond moutains
and shines under moonlight
we hold hands with smile
with dream of our own
there, a star falls for each dream

Here, now, I sit quiet thinking about
all the times
When like pendulum I was lost in crowds
and noises (like pendulum)
to and fro.
I replay recklessly the jobs that soaked me up and
the times of life living no life
How quickly we tend to forget the spaces above clouds
low on air but high on intoxication
The valleys hidden beyond horizon
The shrubs welcoming with berries amidst thorns
streams and brooks to displease your thirst
and the soft bed of moss and grasses
The no man land, the nature- full of hospitality

I must go there, the place that came searching for me
The place I have in my dreams
Let me walk out for a while
jumping off this walls we built
Lets go dancing to the sound of silence
Country roads, lead me there
Mountains are calling and I must go!

Time will demean you
Time will felicitate you
There was once
A little boy
who dreamt of being a star
that shone brighter than the moon
He loved his days when he could play
hide and seek, all evening long
Later lying over green grasses
letting his life to recollect
The tree under which he use to lie
with branches, where he used to swing
is no more.
His dreams of star brighter than moon-
moon was never brighter than star.

There was a boy once
who was stupid with all his freedom
with desires, where his dreams used to swing
The tree is no more
The boy is no more
Time tells the stories
inside the head
of mysteries, of universal alchemies
and of adventure misunderstood, not understood
and understood years later, when it first demeaned you
Dreams work in strange way
Desires **** in worst days
and time is still waiting for the felicitation
to tell the little boy
there are no stars brighter than moon