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Sum It Apr 2014
Offering!

As I realized she was gone.
I could smile or couldn't;
I do not remember.
She had said that she
had to leave sooner or later.
I laughed.
I held her.
I smiled.
We laughed together.
I assured I was ready
for whatever
she had to offer.
And she left one day
and I was waiting at the
same place for three days
before I realized
The absence being offered
-and she wasn't all absent.
Was I ready for whatever
she had to offer?

Well!
Sum It Dec 2013
Have love ever been easy to deal with sympathy?
Just so, Her iron lung breathing calamity of apathy
Beyond eyes and words ,her beauty spoke
Kindle once vital, now perish slow with smoke
Suffocation cannot feel this good, can it?
a crime of love shall never see acquit


A poetess sung for me a poem of love
Soft words - with stings of  venomous dove
Being so deluded by some natural artsy
Dreams woven on silent obscure spree
Cold touch of her once warm soul
Shattering pieces  now never be whole


Poignant themes of once happy souvenir
Whispering breeze of lonely December
Brings me smile then tears falls down
a deep breath sigh and again I avow
holding onto the keepsake- my folded hands try
Squeezed by broken dreams- once more I cry!
Sum It Jan 2014
The horizon deemed to turn black from blue pleaded with its faith by disposing all its secret in orange hue and cry. Aghast by the spectacle, I felt very discomforting breeze trying to peek inside me. Should I let it?
No! i felt involuntary resistance build inside me.The stare of the imploring horizon filled my sentiments with gush of paranoia. I closed my eyes, right then and there. As I opened my eyes slowly after saturation of my daunting breath, I was surrounded by black despair. And the moon still shined with its borrowed light just to display its caged dark hare. There were no stars that day, I  pulled them down to makes uncountable amount of wishes.

What faith decreed for horizon have been my own reflection.
Sum It Oct 2014
People deserves to die
they always
did

but the fate
they choose
is
strange

they don't want to die
but they
are
killing themselves

each night
each day

because they
are
fearing
death
to such extent,
look
what all life
around me turned to
Sum It Jun 2014
Photograph*
In my mobile phone, I
have your picture
from long ago
which sometimes I watch
again and again
again and again
I zoom in and zoom out
The hair which were always messy
like my room, and you complained
The nose that was red once
because you cried hard
for you heard
the world is failing and we are to blame
I did not care about world
this world or that.
Your nose is not red in the photograph on my mobile phone,
Its just
cute
And I watch your photos
every details of your face
to breast
eyes to thighs
all in just right place and right size
that mufler you wore in every winter day
Does it keep you warm
from the cold feeling
I left the last time we met?
,I wonder.
that bag lying on your side
which sometime I carried for you
I do not know anything about you now,
and I only carry some bags of memory
And I watch the only photograph
left on my mobile phone
Just to remember how much I have
forgotten you
and how much is left to forget
May be, I will never forget the smiles turning to tears.
Sum It Sep 2013
My problem with me
is the problem of mine
of not knowing
the Problem I have
and I am still suffering
without knowing why
This sweet suffering
started with you
crossing my view
and that view hitted me
somewhere beside my eyes
may be, heart-- guess why
that is where my problem lies
its normality is gone
Also may be mind
ask me again--why!
I lose myself
when I am with you
I lose myself from me
To find myself in you!
My problem with me
is the problem you give
by not knowing
the problem I have
with you; around you
without you; among everyone
Written on August 24, 2013
Sum It Mar 2014
Failing in love
is overrated;
over-hyped.
I write
Not because I am sad
Not because I failed
I wish to settle
my poisons.
I know my demons
better now.
I fell for no angel
Which I fantasized as a teen.
You are the black curves
of smokes from cigarette.
I try to inhale much of you
And you tease me more.

And after writing
all these
time
All I remember
is just two words
-Try Again.

I can ****
any woman I want
I will love you but
**** her
I will curse you and
**** another
I will hold onto you
and Play with some other ****.
I did not fail you
I just loved you.

All this time
My demons tried
to find halo
behind your horns
And secretly I Whisper
"Witch like she is all I need "

Do not Giggle at me.
For I write.
My demons,
They are so  over sympathised.
Sum It Feb 2014
You flash like light
Your diamonds shine
But what else can make you- smile
Your tears are slow
And your laughter blow
Like sands in the storm
You love crowd of crows
You forgot to talk slow
What else seems to please you more
Thinking I should bring you flowers
Thinking If you would love in plastic
What have you become, my love
Distant feather scripting your old name
brings me back home.

Flames eat you. Flames warm me.
Your diamonds left just ashes for me.
Can you still bring me back home?
Sum It Mar 2014
As I pedalled around the Garden of Peace
I could not deceive me anymore
....I just wanted to feel alone in crowds
I was never alone all this time
I am man of impossible desires
I am man of star shaped fires
I realized I am better not alone
Strolling along the bicycle I rented
As I reached temple of Mayadevi
and I realized its not peace I sought
All this time, I wanted to run from crowds
So full of admiration and esteem
Not for Peace, but from their love
I cannot repent the love I have forsaken
...And in the garden of peace,
I suffered from turmoil of love
Sum It Jan 2014
Hey there!
Love of my life, my pumpkin pie
sweetheart, kneeling down
here i surrender to you
apple of my eye!

you do not need to justify your anger
no need to clear any of my doubts
stupid i am, i understand nothing
were we even supposed to meet
tell me you, ain't i some idiot you met?

talk to me, why wont you?
remember those times, you always talked back ;without reasons
can't reasons hold you anymore?
oh! right , you got brains too!

are you ******* possible?
don't pout and be a emotional blackmailer now
i least care about you, my baby
i am so sick of your swinging desires

why did i ever fall in love with you
i got my donkey brains too

(epilogue)
Sunday lady, shine you as bright sunshine
I shiver when you stop to smile
Was for this we held our arms?
And why love we loved each other
so dear; why not anymore
Sum It Feb 2014
My strained eyes refuses the sleep
Today, I remember people saying
"You are such a bad bad sleeper"
and Today, I can feel
How bad bad sleeper I have become
Reflection. That is what keeps me awake

How terribly we smiled
How terribly we fell in love
How terribly it all passed away
and still. How terribly it lingers.

Still photographs cannot hide the chaos
-the turbulence which I should be hiding
the world can see in those eyes and the strained smile!
Reflection. or its probably just me-
Over thinking. but i am sure it was love

I am sure I can love. I did love.
I made many mistakes but love;
but love, my love, its the sweetest
and i ruined my love for her love
because my love alone.
it was intolerable.
Sum It Sep 2013
STOP
I have ruined your love for me
Don't ruin my love for you
GO!
Written on August 31, 2013
Sum It Sep 2013
No matter how hard this be
This has to end someday
Changes keeps on changing
How deep and hard we keep hanging

Has anyone noticed a river without a bend?
Does anyone know winner without played game?

A warm sun follows with every rain
With sun just hiding- so will be this pain
No rose bloom without thorns beneath
Even the calm moon has dark spots on it

Have you ever seen a rose without a thorn?
Ups and downs come from the time you are born

Sleep shall be hard with pain and misery
Dream a beautiful moment for tomorrow's victory
Even the brightest sun sets with the dark night
Fresh new morning waits on the other side

There is always a fresh new beginning after every hardest end
have you ever seen a river without a bend
have a ever noticed a rose without a thorn
Written on February 22, 2011
Sum It Dec 2014
She is no heaven
She brings no hell
A tender mess of earth
She smells of pure mud

Up at the sky, I look at myself
Burning inside with zillions stars
-Just to light her up
-Just to see her shine

She revolves in way
-such mystifying
Alluring with those twists,
swooshing her hair of curly forest
,eyes with reserved invitation
Refusing to shine on my lights

Its not mere coincidence
when stars fall on sky
Its me , my egos falling
its me, my gods getting high
its me, falling on my knees

pulled by desires of temptation
to smell the rain on mud
to get drowned in ocean of love
To whisper under her hair
close to her eyes
at her dimples
swirling round- dizzy and elated
With time stuck
all stars at brightest
moons lost
heaven crushed
hell forgotten
vanishing
anihilated
with breath that will take forever
I whisper words... to be forever true
aahhyi lloveee yyyyyu
Sum It Sep 2013
Half pages of scribbled line
you can't make out any sense from it
close your eyes and touch with your heart
you may feel something
did you?

No!

A face that smiles with mask of paint
you can tease the hell out of it
close you eyes and laugh again
you may feel something
did you?

No!


Words, words you see
words you hear
Words irritating you
you can't understand anything from it
close your eyes and try to hear
you may feel something
did you?

No!


You see messed up paper
you don't see its rejection scribbling the love

You laugh at a red bulging nose of clown
you don't its flames of heartache

you see lots of hypocritic words
you hear messed up babbling
you write for my incorrigible
abuse me
stab me
tell them i am a thief
tell them i stole your space
write about my insanity
sing about my irritation
burn me with lectures of reality
Reject me

Welcome,
Add one more scribble on my page
Written on July 15, 2013
Sum It Apr 2014
so,
I was scribbling through my diary
as every other times.
As usual, just killing time.
Outside,
The rain sounded rude
The thunder sparked cruel
I didn't like both.
And the thing about night,
its not darkness.
I was already so blinded
by daylight
with you around. for you.
And my scribbles hardly made sense too.
I just wanted to act normal.
just wanted to act I could see.
Never knowing,
was it day or night anymore.
May be , scribbles can find sense
if you could see them.
or if I could get them to you.
Sum It Feb 2014
A mystery of webs entangling my consciousness
It makes me loooook weird on mirror
As I stare at the glare shining under thy heaven
What possibly could make the mystery
Where in my heart did you reap what you have sown
you... shone someday. says my memory
now you just twinkle;
how so far? why so far?
Sum It Feb 2014
I was struggling on my bed yester-night
I was struggling to catch my train to sleep
Trying to make my way through the crowds of reality
I was tired, I felt weak but couldn't still sleep
I had already missed twice, the train
I had reached the station but
I couldn't close my eyes
my ticket to dream was invalid without that
i couldn't board my train to sleep


What is happening!
check check check check
I checked everything
Bed .... check
Cushion .... check
Pillow .... check
blanket .... ummm
too hot
kick away blanket ... check

mosquio net.... check

Anything else????? Check
lights off.. loadshedding... check


I asked with  gatekeeper of dreams
What now? Let me pass


"you miss her"
"text her" easily said the train master
and the gatekeeper of dreams


"Come on..." i resisted


I turned right
I turned left
Turning and turning
Trying to search a loophole to train
I kicked my legs to the cieiling
left one adn imagined of bruce lee
then i cycled both legs
i cursed my day, the boring day it was
with no work to do and no interest as well
I thought about drinking... to numb my restlessness
May be I could do some smoking... to **** my distress
it was already 1AM of the morning
but all i did you just turn sideways
Train master grinned "No Ways"
My eyes were red and bulging
My heart was on fire and burning
My mind wandered from everything to nothing
I was suffocating
I was gasping
panting and
tearing my senses apart
just trying to hack the way to train
but the gatekeep of dreams was not ready to open the chain


I.......gave up
grabbed ny Nokia 3110 classic model
I.............
texted her


i texted her"i am scared to talk with you"


she replied"I am afraid of your poems"


I said"I don't know what to say"


The gate opened, the chain fell down
I boarded  for my train to sleep
I was happy
I texted her
She replied
I could breathe again
I was smiling when I woke up
July 30, 2013
Sum It Jun 2014
She was not real when she first came to me


She was not real when she first came
There was not she
There was not her desire
I was too tired already when she came
She felt like dream
hidden behind haziness
her eyes intensely gazing at my physical state
and me utterly lost among my own ruins
she wrote she was searching for real
she said she couldnt find real on me
I do not understand if
I am real or not
may be there is no me, as well
I always made things on my mind
And If I am real I must have made her up
or just her desire
but she was real when she left
and she was there
going back deeper into the haze
haze that gave her birth
and haze that has left me with atonement
engulfed with terrible silence
still suffocating


she was terribly real
I was terribly lost in search of reality
I know not
where things went wrong
and we were never real together
and I sit here feeling bad
I have felt bad for too long now
feeling bad doesn't feel bad anymore
this bad is not real, may be
Sum It Aug 2014
In my dream today,
I seeped into your sphere
But was there you to find?
I floated inside my unconscious
To seek company of your conscience
Was there you to find?
I am locked inside this limbo.
You are nowhere to be found
Yet your fragrance exist all around
You soared high inside me
With smells of jasmine love
You grew inside my poignancy
like lotus of the mud valley
Yet where are you hidden
I don't seem to find
Who are you in my imagination?
Who are you existing in real?
Can this dream be my reality?
Can this limbo be my real life?
Sum It Nov 2013
silence
desperately
told nothing;
perhaps silence is a sadist!
Sum It Apr 2014
Sleep paralysis


The pages of book fluttered
Shouldn't I be turning the pages?
(I must have thought.)
My hands paralysed and
my eyes pierced through pages
In the background someone screamed

The scream was getting louder
Slowly overshadowing all other noises
Shouldn't I look out if someone needed help?
(I must have thought)
I was running so fast and not a inch did I move
And suddenly someone was choking me to death

I must scream for help.
(I must have thought)

I was screaming.
I was running.
I was choking.


Thank you mom. right on time. phew!
Sum It Oct 2014
I can say
I will be dying any moment from now
And so, my heart races
To meet all your expectation
To meet the stars and to bloom among flowers
To flow down the brooks and float over the ocean
My eyes blinded by flashbacks
Of childhood engulfed by adulthood
And love eclipsed with uncovered realities
Your broken chains of laughter
Like these soft spider webs
Entangles my conscience
And I wait to die
And my heart races
To meet all your expectations
Before I fall off
And you will call me no more
Sum It Apr 2014
In me, In my heart
Gentle whispers of solitude
slips from the blue gaze slowing
turning black as you step by step
start to cease to exist.
My beats going awry,
My tongues slipped as I tried to speak
" was this all? "
Eternity changed its seasons.
The warmth in you began to freeze
And ice age was once again here
We spoke many things in silence
Things only we knew
And exchanged feelings
that would never actually become sounds
We could tear apart the world and
stitch it back exactly the way it was
But today was one of such day
when I didn't care to tear me apart for world
to bring you back
The endless gaze gradually fading
Were you even listening?
Were tears supposed to roll?
Numbness crept into me
when you whispered
"We have always drifted together"

I stare at the only way I see.
We shall always drift together.
Day 2 #eleven11poetrychallenge

Prompt: A poem as a conversation between two people

(many things were spoken in silence so still a conversation :bleh: )
Sum It Nov 2013
Travelling Lady Smile with me
Blow my winter away
Stay for while when eyes drip
Give this heart a break
Come down, rest a while
Raise your light and shine on me
look at all these scars left on
Dress them all and sing lullaby
See me sleep before you leave
I shiver with your pain
Cold I feel, Colder I grow
Kiss my winter away
Travelling lady stay with me
hear me gasp your name at last
Sum It Dec 2013
how long;
have you been
Whishpering
I clearly remember
I woke up three times or so
been back to sleep
I woke back up, And
I could still
hear you Humming


How long will;
you be
Whispering


Your thoughts;flows inside me
like the morning sun
over the mountains; beyound the hills


You words; resonates inside
with the silence, and
the noise


You are my Dope


How long will you be gone
How long have you been gone


I have your smile
frozen inside my memory
Your soft breaths beats
along my heart
I have your mean words
framed over my walls


I hear you whispering
I can listen you whispering
Keep Wishpering
Keep Wishpering
I want to feel you


Thinking about you, I
think about us


Keep your voice low
Stop whispering
December 28, 2013
Sum It Apr 2014
Strangers' Privilege


Feel bad for the silence?
the privilege of being strangers?
We couldn't make it.

When I stare at the infinity,
there is only one thing I see.
And it occupies me,
The more I stare,
its turbulence  turns me up down
inside out.

not once not twice.

Carelessly you whisper
lullabies in my eyes
Slowly I lose control leaving the hell outside
You crawl right out of me
Straight into my arms
Straight into my dreams


Not once. Not twice.

I question my sanity.
my morality and your beauty
There is How.
Then follows how long and why.

Look down at me.
look inside you.
I couldn't pull you in.
You cannot force me out.

Don't we enjoy the privilege of being strangers?
Sum It Aug 2014
I have seen the night
I have seen the day
I have seen butterflies over flowers
for nectars and for pollens
I have seen fireflies over moon
for heaven and for solace
But I have never seen this
what I see today
Candles and Sunflowers

I am in a field of green
over a top of hill, lovely
under the black with twinkles,
now and then.
and there are candles all around
and there are sunflowers
dancing and swaying with mountain breezes
and I am here, not astonished at all
I smile at everything
because the candle burns all my existence
and my memories sway slowly
memories of time when I have been sunflower
and i forgot sun would come back
but my desperation told me candles can do better
and I was not wrong
No sun can replace the candle
That have ignited and waxed my love
I do not desire sun any more
When you are here
Sum It Sep 2013
I am a bad sleeper
and a terrible dreamer
I am lazy like no other
still I have people
praising me for what I do
and what I do not do
because people do that
and I listen to them eagerly
chants of my awesomeness

Smile sticks on my face

My daddy is the only person true
he knows me
How terrible I am at everything
How ****** up I am
How I know nothing except
except-------eating
sleeping
and gluing my eyes on my laptop

and he is the best dad on the world
because he is true at what he says
and I trust him since I was infant
a superhero--- I first met, only met!

And My mom is bad too
she supports me against dad
but I know dad
You are right
I am terrible at carrying out
responsibilities, duties, progress
because I am a bad sleeper
I sleep and I sleep and I sleep
I sleep late and wake up even more late!

He is the best dad
I am his favorite son
We are a team of super-dad and super-son!
he shouts to wake me up
I groan back to sleep
Its hard when two super powers collide
and I usually win
because my dad is bad too
he loves me and I love you, dad!
Written on August 7, 2013

Today is Father's Day here in Nepal.
My dad is my SUPERDAD!
Sum It Sep 2013
And my eyes rolled out
I left my ears in every walls
I tried to reach everywhere
I trusted everyone around
Just to find the answer
The answer to the Question-
Question, which was never there
But the answer I found
Where is the answer?
Just here, Right Here!
Sum It Mar 2014
(So Ya
Thought Ya
Might like to Go to the Show)


When night glows with smiles
The youngs looks up to old
And we bow down and we clap
and we dance, tears sneak down
And the clouds are all drained
The sun could never be gone.
Seasons change, dreams are forgotten
The band was the sun.
Such warmth only with their rays.

The crowd revived the town
Closer we are more than ever now
The sound smoked with lights
The band was twinkling somewhere out
Sleepy eyes in my head
I was there and somewhere
I could feel me in sweat
I was marching high and
could hear chanting of Om.
Kathmandu On The Run (The Pink Floyd Tribute Show) March 29,2014. Kathmandu , Nepal
Sum It Mar 2014
Devoid of further desires
We melted together and
in spirals we connected
swirling swiftly up and above
getting connected with what we always
sought for - heaven as being said
we stirred each other with
love and with flavour of vacuum
we mixed, we blended
we turned to stardust slowly
with every passing seconds
I held you; you held me. tighter!
It was a moment for-ever
We - still smile when we
recall our first kiss
Everything ended there
And everything began.
Do you remember how 'it' began?
Sum It Jan 2014
tick tock tick tock
the night ticks in its own pace
my eyes blinks in synchronization
seconds run, minutes walk and hours passes by
"tick tick tock tock " the clock now changes sound
and my eyes, i notice , are open wide!
Sum It Jan 2014
Soft breezes of clean melancholy
Pumped out with constant velocity
Its striking again, and colder she is

He awaits the lubrication
to ease down the ongoing friction
Bearings creaks and pushes off balance
And The fan rotates forever of today

The growing ebbs of falling tides
Now buries deep inside the highest cliff
The soft breeze ***** in with higher velocity,
subsidized adiathermic smiles react
Smells of heated tissue everywhere

And the fan rotates forever
Tiring job of being a healer
when you are damaged from forever
Clasping the final breath
The fan rotates forever of today
Sum It Jul 2014
The last Love letter


****** up inside this night
I strive for my escape
The darkness it bleeds with my every scorn
screams and apathetic shrills
The darkness goes on filling ink to my blood
My eyes encircled with blue rampart
Wrinkling skins over memories growing weary
I stay sinking down being ******
Spilling blood over my inks

The paper won't stay blank
it will play melencholic tunes of love
While I don't see the end to this engulfment
My desires will perish before light sees me
But this letter shall be my gift
to haunt you with my presence
for all suns and moons you swagged
Till you get your life crumbled
Sum It May 2014
There is something incredible about
the moon tonight
Its bright , beautiful and all
But today its not that
As the moon drift hiding and showing through the clouds
My heart is gradually tiptoed by sadness
an incredible sadness
and I know its you again
It makes me sad how the moon still shines with such luminosity
But we failed ourselves and our promises
Was it the same moon we sworn at
Was it the same sun that reflects through that moon
I do not understand why then we enjoyed our lies
danced at tunes that faded so abruptly
Floated around blue mimosas that fell with rain
why now the truth seems not right
why those mimosas blooms as ghost at night

But I tell you again, and for ages more
I still love you like certain dark things
liks breezes calmly gluing your memories to my mind
like the stars alinging with great art
to write your name in my heart
and the incredible sadness the moon brings
Because its you
You bring the best out of me
even the sadness.
Sum It Apr 2014
Friedrich Nietzsche had once told
"Let us beware of saying that Death is the opposite of life.
The living being is only a species of death and a very rare species"

And I know exactly what it means.

I live with the generation
Not wanting to live
Our television shooting guns from Middle East
Our screens begging help from Africa
when America enjoys the Oscar and
Britain and Australia rambles about Ashes
I live with the generation
who think football is not a game but passion
who think war is not crime but just another compuer game
They are dead
They have been fairly killed

I live with the generation
whose dreams are Made in China
Advertised with British Accent
Available on Sale during one of the Christmas
And sometimes they fall from sky
I live with the generation
who have forgotten apple is actually a fruit
But they unfold apple for birthday twice a year
Who grows food on binary
Cannot separate beef from buff
And eat dust coated with sugar
They are dead
They have been fairly killed

I live with the genration
who are better aliens
My generation wants to find vampire for soulmate
They plant to fight against zombies
Our ninja cuts fruit
We are so anxious instead of praying
we run around temples
Even the birds are so angry because
George R.R. Martin kills all our favorite charaters
and Sheldon cooper can't be helped
Everyone thinks they are Sherlock Homes
But can't find socks for school
They are dead
They have been fairly killed

We hate mathematics because
they are not pop songs
We prefer walking almost ****
Maybe because we dont have AC on clothes
We extremely love our parents - in our wall
But we forget where they work
We make happy faces in window pane when sad
We kick street dogs when mad
And if they bite back, we **** them all.
**** dogs! We dont need them.
Cats rule the world.

We regret too much.
Earth is our burden.
We wait endlessly for apocalypse
We are dead.
We have been fairly killed
Drugged and Polished
Addicted to dying
And Saved everytime by our
- American Superheroes

About Me
I sell peace for money
I advertise hunger for donations
I live in a haunted house
Ghosts have stopped crossing my way
They cook in my kitchen and
are naked on my bedroom
I am not interested in blood
I need coffee to keep me alive
I inhale smoke to pump my lungs
I live near Mount Everest
Enthralled by Nuclear Bombs of North Korea
Not able to see Smokes from America
eating our Snow

And my greatest tragedy
I am in a country where
we need to be in queue
wanting to live
waiting to die

We have been fairly killed.
We still think the sky is blue.
Sum It Jan 2014
Leftovers, scattered as grieving memories
Tragedy of to-be-happily-ever-after ending
When trying to hold what was once dear
The sensation now burns with apathetic melancholy

Shall I wait for you, or will you see me go
May I hold your hand, or you wish to let me fall
How long will you possess me with dichotomy
How far shall I long for the consummate singularity

Quest now halts with contemplation and questions
Blazing ardor now freezes cold with paucity of purpose
Open eyes dreams on the heat ; And what exactly is love
Trembling tears of midnight weep; And what exactly is hope
Sum It Jan 2014
Dripping water from faucet of heaven
pierced down the sky of my realm.
Last dream.
The sound went tip tip for two seconds and rimose creeped on my poise.
A fakir without head told me on my abrupt attention
"Find the sun,my son."

Old ragged converse from the stinky corners slipped out and hesitantly told
"You can't walk with me. You selfish rant"

The path was smooth to bore the hell out of me
From dawn to dusk I was among the rainfall of misty fumes
Slowly I vapoured too.I was informed
By voice unsung
"The sun shines only behind the clouds"
The dripping memories from faucet of heaven creaked inside me
I sublimed in absence of myself and words came out "what for?"

The  yellow ball of hot moraine bulbed out. The sun- it said, "What for"

The fakir without head spoke " the night is done"
Sum It Sep 2013
Ever since I was, Me,
This particular me

I was told;

I cried and whimpered-

I cried and Whimpered,
as I came out of womb,
still in wail, still in snivel,

I was staggered,
in utter astound, and amazement;
For absolutely no reason,

I Sniveled,
and sniveled that day,
into the madness I was in,
out of universe, into parallel whim,

I wondered,
I wondered:
Am I dead into my bones,
Where is the world, I have known,
The world, I have known for for 9 months-

or am I just a door, opened into storms,

May be it was for today, for few moments,
the Ill be gone !
Or, May be I was reincarnated into days,
of games leading to this game;
or was I just a foible,
dependent to layers,
of layers,
expanded into life's flare;

I was staggered,
in utter astound, and amazement;
For absolutely no reason,

I cried and whimpered,
as I came out of womb,
still in wail, still in snivel,

I was staggered,
in utter astound, and amazement;
For absolutely no reason,

Peace,
Peace,
Yes, Peace, all peace,

Love
Love,
Yes Love, all love,

Harmony,
Dear Harmony,
All Harmony,

Then again,

I jump down the lanes of memories,

She says,

Are you done trumping?
Aren't you late for working?
Aren't you late for life, this real life?

Then slowly,
I go mad,
By and by,
I am Mad,


into today and tomorrows,
anxious;
into emotions and fears;
.
Covered by joys and tears;
.
Eroded into feelings,
.
leading unto her being,
.
So,
it again becomes a helpless game,
where,
I cry and whimper

And there she is,
after all this while,
she seems to be in my dreams,
or in her dreams,
where she wail, and snivel !

Glued into her memories,
her eyes, to mine,
distant aero-plane into her abstain,

not much of caring,
yet, in her cosmic sharing;

repairing myself, into her un-caring,
tunneling a way, into sharing;

that love, that peace
that harmony;

Mommy,
in her tummy, had her, as baby, where a cell grew into body;
in some hide and seek, in melancholy

a bit sloppy, a bit swampy;

into dancing infinity,
along, my pace in her infinity-
my safari, in her serenity;

like some birds, singing songs,
of wordless hums,
just some gongs,
in shores, in her floor,

a flower out of spores,
her songs,
silent applause,
of this bird, who explores,
into the space-less, horizons

that thunderbolts,
**B O O M
Written on September 2, 2013

Written in collaboration with Aadarsha Bhattarai
You can follow his blog here http://beyondpoet.blogspot.com/
Sum It Mar 2014
And she started drifting slowly
away, as my hands slipped
and among the city of solitude
I stood estranged one more time
Only silence could save me
Only darkness was needed to heal me
there I stood like dusted statue
Still breathing, sometime gasping
lips sealed and eyes closed
My left palm over my eyes
Over irregular wet contours of my face

Things could get worse
Had I desired anything more
it was just love
it was only love
all I did was lose my heart

it was just love
and love it all was.
Sum It Mar 2014
To lovers Who could just love


To you, full of love
Your heart might not be the warmest of all
And your heart may not have purest of love
But you loved with what you own
And not being enough, you may have bought some more

And to you, with heart that could only love
Be not feel lost in inexpressible or unattainable
For you have done with your heart
What it can do the best
Be it moon or with stars you never missed one name

For heart left forlorn, never feel alone
for every stars that falls the night you stare at sky
Someone on knees just rose up from lost memories
be it the rivers that run alone
or the butterflies that dies in heaven
they have once been the heart lost on love

the pine trees staring at its love
loses it love with as its fruit falls
the lamp oiled with love, cannot burn forever
forever might be too long for everyone
but the heart who loved
and could only love ...
such is the beauty you hold
like lost ghost in the town of humans
Such is your fate for noone can choose what you own
the heart that could only love
Sum It Mar 2015
For once I thought I lost you
I was sure , it's time to let go
you or love or sanity
I thought you shall
never occur again
and I was
wrong all the time
all this while

How can one be in love
and still doubt like this
may be ---
love never occurred, until
you were ready to leave
too late - to fall in love now
too late - to not
Sum It May 2014
Walking alone
with some music
breeze whispering to trees
stars winking ceaselessly
alone with nothing but you
I have always thought
Why is mind so fond
of nights at dawn
of moon behind clouds
of clouds that has fallen
of face behind veil
of things we lose
of feelings untrue
What is so precious
about stones that shine-
only on light.
Written on April 16, 2014
Got deleted by mistake. #repost
Sum It Sep 2013
I was standing there, beside you
with a huge gap of silence in between us
and it seemed like it would take ages to reach you
creeping
                walking
                               running
                                                flying
                                                            through that silence
.........................................................­.....................................                      
There were no questions....................................................
...­...........................................but answers were sought for
.............................................................­................................

And you were so far away
You couldn't hear my loudest of silence
the face of desperation I wore
the smile of frustration I decorated as improper blithe

My questions almost inaudible
But the answers were sought for
.............................................................­......................
I answered myself of what you would have said
...on my head, if you have heard me "...I can't"

you turned to me with a faint smile
you turned other way, may be tears were on your eyes
you still on a far distance of silence
the answer of your part still unanswered
Written on August 4, 2013
Sum It Jan 2014
Act Anonymous
Put on the mask of your true self
Jump of the window and-
Talk with strangers

The true color of humanity is shining-
under the rags of the dumping site
where the dogs of the heaven made are-
mating . the cycle must - go on!

Needless to say,
the mask-
is the true identity

The star dust nebula swirling around
under every passing wheels
gives me chills under my anonymity

Still under the watch of divine intervention

and under the subject of my free will
"Please god close your eyes"

on the ride
i meet strangers with smile and
humans who don't care
there are turns of wormholes
and strong pull of black holes
the star dust nebula strikes again but-
its just a ride.

take a break now. the red signal means it.

-
-
* Break time Story*
Here is story I wanna tell . Just to keep you occupied.
I once met me on the turning of time travel.
I was horrible human because I defamed love for god
and few centuries ago, I was celebrated engineer
I happened to create the god. that was it. its a ride.
-
-
-

honk the horns mr. my man! start your engine, kindly.
Move on forth.
I have strangers to meet because they are with smiles.
Smiles.
Sum It Dec 2013
Never - the love - we spoke of
Went crazy when detached from

She is the cup from which I drink the thoughts of excitement. She thrills me with her words and I go inside out with fluster. Respiration becomes mountain climbing. The easy beating heart goes on marathon. Her actions deludes me and pampers me at the same time. she was not the person I was looking for. But she has become the one that ended my pursuit. Never did she speak of love but love floods out with her every words and action. Never could I speak of love but I go baby when she is around and I go high when she speaks. She is my dope. dope..dope...!
Sum It Sep 2014
There is this kind of time in everyone’s life. That was what I was told. I was also told I was peculiar in a nice way. But I am not going deep down all this time and peculiar thing and all. It is just that sometimes I feel so empty and I was also told that when you try to write something you should try your best to describe all sorts of stuffs so that the readers will get to know the kind of thing you are feeling. Like for now, the kind of empty I am feeling. Kind of funny though, who would want to know what I am feeling and on top of that who would want to know the kind of empty I was feeling. Anyway, I was feeling very empty yesterday and I am writing all this because I just thought it was pretty cool to feel empty, kind of, just like that. I am not being emotional and all but that is how it is, you like to feel sort of lonely, sad, happy or whatever at time, just like that. And when I driving on my bike, I speed it up to the most it can bear or most I can bear and twist and turn and run over other motor bikes and stuffs that are moving in the road in a kind of modest way but I know they are as ******* as I am. But hell with that, I don’t want to know if anyone is ******* or not. I can’t even think about the right word to replace the *******. But, you know what I mean. It’s kind of sad to find that everyone is *******. Then, that makes me madder and I speed up more. I start to rip apart my accelerator, literally. You know what literally mean, don’t you? It’s when you do something in a literal way just like when some lousy guy start acting out too corny while they say they will bring down the stars and moons for the girl they love.  To hell with love, love is the stupidest thing that will ever again happen to me and if that happens then I will crown myself with all kind of stupid crowns and be the king of stupid. But love was kind of good feeling too.  Anyway I just try not to end up breaking my neck when I am in bike. But you know then I just intently look at the something something that is coming towards me and then I feel like speeding up more and just encounter that innocent ***** face to face. Yeah, I mean it. I feel like pointing the direction of my bike right to that something something truck or stuffs that, just like you know when an archer aims. You know then, I also have this shrewd kind of look in my eyes, like I am dead serious about what I am going to do. Its fun when you know you won’t but you act like you will. Yeah, I just feel like heading right towards the something something and hit it right on its grotesque face with some silly stupid art. Then, can you imagine what will happen? I can see every ******* retards gathering around me. I am lying down with blood over everywhere. I can see pieces of my grand motor bike here and there. I can see the driver of that something getting out and trying to explain that I was the one who came directly into him as if I was attempting suicide. To hell with suicide. What kind of person does suicide. I can see traffic cops and medics and all. They are just trying to carry me to hospital. But I know I won’t want to go to hospital because hospitals make me sick. There are lots of sick and depressing people around. If they would want to take me anywhere then I would like them to take me to mountain top from where I could see a bluest lake  all the clear reflection of clouds and the greens and rainbows and butterflies and all those stuffs the poets from nature describe in their poem. But I know they are too busy for that. They are some stupid people who just want me to admit to hospital. Anyway, when they start to lift up, I just get off the stretcher and start laughing out loud. I will tell them that I am okay and its all my ****** series of imagination and show them that I don’t have wounds and all but they will just vanish. I keep laughing and laughing because then I could finally feel or imagine the pain that I will go through. The pain that will fill me up and I don’t feel empty anymore. That is the exact kind of empty I feel. But that is not enough, I am still on my bike. If you have lost me, I want to repeat all that happened was just a part of my imagination. I imagine stuffs a lot and I think they are cool when I imagine stuffs about dying and just waking up as if I am just taking nap and waking up. Is there anything like that rebirth or stuffs? Anyway, I am still on the bike. I speed up thinking all these things and then I make my way through a very narrow alley between two moving something trucks or buses and there… That is the right kind of empty that just got filled. You know it or not, when you speed up and make a narrow escape from between the moving trucks just closely to save your life. Man, I can feel the air move through my veins and I can see my heart flying out of my chest. Man, was that crazy? I ask to myself. To hell with it. I am still alive and breathing and I am not feeling empty anymore. But as I keep thinking, I just get so mad. I don’t know at what or at whom. Everything is so pale and depressing. I try to cheer myself up looking at the clouds and green trees and trying to think about witty lines that’s funny to me and all and all and them , all it just makes me so mad, just more depressing.

That right, I then stop my bike on the side rail and start thinking about writing about all these stuffs. Because I have this group of friends who kind of poem and stuff and they are pretty good too. I also poem and stuff sometime but nothing that I wrote ever became good. Because I can tell by reading them all that, the stuffs that come in paper are not everything I feel. Like if I have to use percentage to say how near they are to the amount I feel, it would be like ten percent or around. That is not much. Even the government value added tax is thirteen percent. I was trying to be funny but hell with that. I was just feeling empty and all and now I am on my bike stopped on the side of the huge highways where everything is moving. Its depressing to find out that everything is moving , everything around you and you are the only one stopping to look at them moving. If only there was someone who was there by your side to hold your hand and look at all these moving vehicles and the traffics and kids holding the hand of their mothers and fathers and uncles to cross the road safely and those dogs and oxen lying over the road.  To hell with it, if there was actually someone who would be by my side, I won’t be feeling empty and imagining crazy stuffs and stop my bike trying to write a poem out of it or something or anything just so I can be more cool showing my rad poem to the group of my circle who poems. Man, do I love that ? I can certainly make a good actor out of me if I play in a move but it just make me feel more sad and I don’t know why. I look around if I can find any teashop or anything. Just so, I could sit there and order a tea and stay sad and pale and then someone would come and ask me. Hey boy whats the matter with you? Then I would just ignore his question. People can be real nosy sometimes. I am just siiting here having tea and something man. Head off to you own way, I will tell that. Why would I tell me why I was sad anyway. I was thinking about a beautiful girl like an angel that we see in movies , beautiful like that when the word beautiful fails to describe the amount of beauty she has,  I was trying to imagine a situation when I am sipping over my tea sadly and then this angel comes over and ask me what is that making me look pale. She would say nice stuffs to me and man, do I fall in love again? Man… love is the silliest thing ever. You can have enough of it. I was just feeling empty because some girl told me that she doesn’t have anything for me. Even I didn’t have anything for her . But you know there are times when you actually fall in love like madly in love. It’s the same person everywhere, all around you. You can’t just stop thinking about her. But the one who said she has nothing for  me, she meant no feelings or loves that she can do to me. We met few times, two or three and she was nice and all. I was funny and all. But even I haven’t felt anything towards her. Now she is really beautiful with this hair and this long slender face that she has. And then you know it when you want to fall in love. I wanted to fall in love with her because she was exactly the type of the girl that people have to fall in love with. She was active and hardworking. She has a good smile and dimples too. Man, those dimples drive me crazy. I just feel like diving into those tiny little cheeks and then right into her heart. And on the top of that wavy curly hair, it can drive anyone mad. Well, it drove me mad and that is why I am trying to fall in love with her. But anyway she told me last night or sometime in past that she doesn’t feel like that. I want to tell her that even I don’t feel like that with her. But I don’t want to because that may just drive her away from me all more. But anyway I was just mad when she told me that. Not mad like psychologically but like emotionally. I was just trying to explain her that we should may be spend some time together and get to know each other and all because you know I was kind of trying to fall in love with her and wanted to know more about her and make a lover like impression on her and all but man, was she crazy or something? She just said she doesn’t want to. It just made me so mad that I started my bike , yeah after paying for tea and all. I speeded up again and I didn’t want to stop but I had to stop because of this stupid traffic signal but my legs were all dancing because I was anxious and all and I just wanted to cry for nothing. But I can’t cry because I don’t feel like and when you feel like crying you cant stop it anyway. Those stupid tears will just fall off. Then The traffic signal goes green and I speed up and want to race with someone and feel good by beating them. But then there are other bikes that goes ahead me and that makes me feel more sad and then I just so over the yellow side line and start driving like slug. Man, I am extreme. I can feel it. I try to think about writing all this when I go home but I know I wont because I have done this many time and I have never written anything. Its just like that.

Its just like that. You have all these stupid to intelligent ideas an stuffs when you are walking or on the bike but I never do anything. When I reach home, I change my dress start it all again. I start to become normal like nothing is wrong with me. It just drives me crazy.. everything is so wrong with me. I have to be somewhere is some other good job that I will enjoy and that also pays me pretty good so that I can enjoy and all. I also have to fall in love with this girl. I have to complete one of my research paper so that I can earn good reputation among these technical circle of mine. I have to pen down some good stuffs so that I can perform it loudly in front of everyone and then everyone would cheer for me and all. I will just act modest and bow down. I also have to meet some of these my school friends and all and have some crazy times with them mocking the professional life and all. I have to be with my family, go to temples and stuffs and pray and ask the god to help me focus in my pursuit, which I am not sure what that is so I also pray and ask the god to show me the  right path. Its easy to pray and all and just stay happy thinking god will do everything but hell with god. I also have to prepare for this test and I have to complete reading this book and man, I have so much to do. I can’t just waste my time just like this.  

**There are always enough stupid things to drain the best outof you and leave you in terrible vacancy.
I will look at it and edit it sometime, not too soon though.
Sum It Nov 2013
dream -
or was it blurry memory
bright side of dark she was
up up higher she flew
like an angel from fairy tales
blazed she and dazed me
never noticed her go away
blurry memories in the morning
and that laughter...

*you are voice inside my head
you are voice
inside my
head
Sum It Jun 2015
Affection draws me to you
your every part and every moves
and shatters me to pieces
your hair that falls like lightening
sparkles with thunder on my darkest night
like routine, these days
and shatters my conscience
like all those trees falling
helplessly, grotesque and broken
constellations shines in your eyes
and in my eyes are phosphenes
of your images blurred by shadowy lights
floating down the drain of my brain through my heart
as i slowly lose what was once so dear to me
i fall miserably in the salty tears
unable to swim across the dimples that forms in your cheeks
when you smile
i try to stretch my lips from ear to ear
in vain
i am not under my control these days
i have forgotten to love me
since you declined all the love
i showered over  you
and that love now flows down the gutter
like monsoon rain
my once big bright enthusiasm now floats around
teasing me to despair
together with smokes of cigarettes i have just begun to smoke
i have been such a reckless lover
you have been always been the better one
my favourite lines of love poetry
which i seem to relate has turned to some
crazy language i can't understand
all those days i sought to hold your hands forever
i dreamt  you by my side
brought you all my life, i could't lose
i fed to you, affection so annoying
now life devalues day by day
you have been a chain
even with regret cannot be undone
i wash my hand time to time
unable to wash you from my heart
i turn back and look at you
splitting me away...
from morning to night
as i barely survive
residing on the corner.. dark..
waiting for lightning
thunders, flood... silently
extinguishing the light of my life
with the candle dying over the note
i used to write love poems with your name at the end
does it even sense
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