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 Feb 2015 Shivani Lalan
Madhurima
This is my story.
Do not assume that you
Are the hero, even though

I dedicated a lot of

Lengthy chapters to you.

You are just a
Leaf passing through,
Leaving a slight impression

On a few pages and

A pop of colour among

Some black and white words.

You are a spot of blue ink

Left in the corner, as I wrote

Quickly and passionately

On white blank pages.

You are the muse I loved

Enough to write into my story
And spend time nurturing,
Creating something beautiful
However long it may have lasted.

But do not forget,
Even for a second that

This is my story.

However incomplete or

nonsensical it may seem.
However narcissistic I may sound.
How many ever hours

I spent crafting it.

Rough

Draft

Over

Rough

Draft.
**
This is my story.
For any broken hearts that need this. I've written a lot about love, thought it was time to write something about getting over it. Enjoy. :)
 Feb 2015 Shivani Lalan
Madhurima
I would have asked you to stay
But I knew you didn't want to
So I watched you go away.


                                                       ­                    *If you had asked me to stay

                                                          ­               I would have, but you didn't
                                                        ­                                     *
So I left, anyway.
I think I need to fall in love
with a poet.
So that maybe all the words
and all the hurt won’t always be mine.
I need to fall in love with a poet
so that he will whisper words
that sound better than stories and
don’t need to last as long.
I want to be the one to fall in love
with a poet.
He can make me feel something
so that all the love and the futures
won’t always come from another. And I
will write stories about us
in another world with better lives
where poetry will be sung from
the love, which dies so poetically
and I will know that I loved
a poet.
 Jan 2015 Shivani Lalan
Madhurima
They smile together and laugh together
so nobody's seen the bruise on her shoulder

They always hug and kiss good-bye
so nobody's seen the cut on her thigh

He's met her parents and she's met his
so nobody's seen her slashed wrist

They have the same hopes and the same fears
so nobody's seen her tired tears

They've had so many great times, tons
So nobody's seen the terrible ones.
 Jan 2015 Shivani Lalan
Madhurima
There once was a girl who dreamt of burning with the Sun
She lived among other people but connected with none
Her heart was among the bright, magnificent stars
Not among the traffic lights and mundane cars
Her big blue eyes were full of curiosity
Looking around with calm ferocity
Her mind was full of wonder
Stormy like thunder.
 Jan 2015 Shivani Lalan
Madhurima
The truth? It hit me
Like a slap in the face.
A train running me over.
A mountain upon me.

You never wanted me
Like I wanted you.
Loved me like I did you.
I was nothing.

I said, “Enough”.
I’m done fighting for
Something that was never
Even there. Done.

It hurt, but I felt more
alive than I ever did with you.
That bridge was on fire
And I let it burn.
 Jan 2015 Shivani Lalan
Madhurima
Dear society,

Stop trying to sober us up.
We’re young and bright
and beautiful and loud.
We will light up every
corner of every room
and still shine brighter
than the sun.

Stop telling us to cover up.
We will wear little black dresses
and bright red lipsticks,
leave lip-stains all over
your precious little world
and look so good doing it
that you’ll have to look away.

Stop telling us to slow down.
We live and love with so much
power and strength that we
cannot stop for you
or anyone, for that matter.
Every day is our day
and the world, our oyster.

Stop telling us we’re useless.
One day, we’re going to run the world
for you; going to be soldiers, doctors
writers, artists, speakers of the truth
and the truth is that we’re alive
and strong and here, and
you cannot control us.

From impatient, beautiful, and exuberant young girls everywhere.
 Jan 2015 Shivani Lalan
Madhurima
Too many people
Too many faces
Too much attention
In all the wrong places

Too much talking
Not enough quiet
Nothing to stop this
Deafening riot

Daggers in my back
Chains at my feet
Strange friendships
Love *bittersweet
venting out stuff heh
 Jan 2015 Shivani Lalan
Madhurima
The sea, endless, magnificent blue
Reminds me of your deep swirling eyes
Looking at me with mischievous love
Reflecting the big, open skies

The stars of the dark night
Remind me of the scars dotted on your skin
Painting your body in loose touches
Polaroids of everywhere you've been

The Sun, in its bright glory
Reminds me of your smile
Radiating, powerful, from cheek to cheek
Sadly, I haven't seen it in a while.

And finally, I must say, my love
I realize, as I finish this verse
Before, I saw the universe in you
*Now, I see you in the universe
I don't know but yeah.
 Dec 2014 Shivani Lalan
Madhurima
When you realized
my walls couldn't be knocked down
you built a roof on them
and called it *home
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