There is water all around me,
water pulling me down
and filling my lungs with ice.
Oceans surround me and I can no longer
see the ground, why can't I see
the ground? I'm wrecked,
so destroyed that I can't even breathe
anymore. I have been beaten
and fractured by the powerful waves,
hitting me with such speeds
that my mind was knocked
from my body. I had a core of love
and now it is an ever-expanding
cavern of hollow, black weakness.
Soon, there will be nothing
inside me except the cold burn
of the wind
and there I'll be,
completely and utterly
useless.

Do you feel it?
Do you feel my rotting soul?
Do you even remember the tight skin
splitting at the seams when you looked
at it? I'm lying underneath the cold,
dark sheets with black lines shifting
beneath my surface which twist
themselves into a deep haze
and force my head under the water.
Your hands of ice trail and burn
their way across my mind and tear
their way through my ripped
paper body before I bolt upright
to the sound of your rattling breath
quickly fading into the slow night.

Where am I? It's like home
but it's so dark,
so dark and so empty.
I can still see the temporary tattoos
of your fingerprints on my flesh,
the nausea pooling within me,
my tense body screaming
for you to get away from me.
The way you heard another word
as my lips spelled out "No."
Now you sleep wondering
where you went wrong
and I lie awake wondering
what the hell gave you the right
to tear apart my flesh
with manipulative hands. I am only
half a woman.
The other half of my flesh
is swarming with searing
hot agony, agony which is quiet
and shows itself
in wild, trauma-worn eyes
and a drowning
heart. I should feel
angry but I only have vacancy,
and my mind is filled
with nothing except the dust
you left in my bones
once the cold, loveless
touch had left my body.

How can you tell me
that your truth is better
than mine?
Head to the floor,
hands on my heart,
you're burning my eyes.
You've blinded me now
and I have nowhere to go.
If only I had anything
to tear apart my apathy,
no one would know.

This is a second sky, where blue rises
above all else with lucrative secrecy
and darkness lurks beneath the clouds,
a universe where the atmosphere
is the darkest black and space
is the purest of blues. This is an unknown
place where fear and dominance rule
all that was once considered 'normal',
something you can no longer have
when the satellites turn their eyes
on you. Everything real becomes fake,
everything right is wrong,
and all you know
is that you know nothing
and they know everything. The hidden,
black, forgotten web of constellations
spelt out in dusts of white across
the blue night, where the featureless
omens of this reality circle
with crooked, evil wit,
is pulling me in with its charm.
Now, I am yet another fly
caught in the tides of this spider,
doomed to drown in silk.

There's a love blooming between us
that makes me feel as if
I don't need
the romance of old movies
and the warm hands of a friend
to hold in mine
might just
be
enough.

I live in a cracked land with glowing light
all around me as I hold my tools
with hands of broken polystyrene.
This is a world I can live in no longer,
where plants used to grow and the earth
was once rich with fertility. Now it is barren,
with death and decay spreading from where my body
meets the earth. I will never feel the soft
grass beneath my feet again - on impact,
I **** all life. Beauty is destroyed
and everything placed in my hands crumbles
and withers away into nothing. This
was once a place of wealth and plenty, where love
flew through the air and played like swallows
swooping and swerving
their way to freedom, but now
love has been forced into small, sealed boxes
stowed away in some decaying corner
of my heart. I still feel the way your hands
left burning trails across my skin,
the way it felt to see you looking
down into my eyes, but none of this
is alive. The way your eyes shone
is locked in a cage and is shattering
faster and faster with every desperate
touch from my plastic fingertips.
There is nothing here except the stretch
of polythene covering my mouth and restraining
my lungs, my screams.
Help me, my love.
The light is leaving my eyes.