Please refrain
A sea of words
So my A.D.D. brain
Can find solace

Empty bodies
Trading masks
To wear on certain occasions
While beings form
From the murky waters
Of truth
Into systematic
Artificial
Operative
Efficient
Structures of lies
That keep kindred souls
Trapped behind
A window pane
Watching the world collapse
In 2D motion
Only to find freedom
Within the mind.

We haven’t spoken in so long
I haven’t forgot about you
I’m sorry I went away...
You know how things have been
Would you like to go out on the town?
Have a glass of Chardonnay or two
Then we can wait for a taxi
As the neon lights of the city
Ricochet of the puddles of rain
And we laugh as we get drenched
In my little black dress and your suite and tie

I’ve missed you.
I feel like I don’t really know you anymore
Maybe if we ease into it slowly
Things will go back to the way they used to be
I don’t know what else to say...
The words are escaping me
I love you.
Please forgive me.

My warm embrace in your darkest days
Brought you comfort you never knew
But standing there while holding you close
I grew much colder, too.

Your grip grew strong, the walls caved in
Smothered, I started to squirm
But gazing in your pleading eyes
You leaned, and I stayed firm.  

Your edges are rough, through no fault of your own
But I am so, so soft
Shallow cuts can still run deep
My dear, you need to stop.

Your eloquent yet hollow words
Cloud my mind and senses
Empty oaths, a hamster wheel
I can’t beat your defenses.

My empathy has entrapped me
You’d never trust again
But I am worn, my eyes are dull
It’s not worth it in the end.

Our paths were meant to meet, not merge
You were nice to get to know
But please, I ask one thing of you
If you love me, let me go.

Please don't hurt
Across the computer screen
I cannot hold you in my arms
I can't stand when your eyes fill with fear
And your voice becomes monotone
Our souls are too similar
That your pain seeps through your monitor
Into my veins
I know my touch
Would wash your worries away
But for now
I send my light to you, my dear
One day
I will press my palm upon your face
As you do mine

It's silly how
A little red number one
A yellow lightning bolt
Brings a rush of dopamine
So minor
Yet so addictive
That the aspiration
For validation
Might as well be so strong
That the cord of your mouse
Is shooting ******* through your arm
And moments are spent
Mind-numbingly
Refreshing the page
Just to see if a stranger
Not much different than yourself
Bothered to click a **** button

TW

The world stands still
And a silent scream
Bounces off
The synthetic walls
As people transform
To hollow statues
Void of consciousness
A million miles
Away from here

The scream gets louder
And fills my empty chest
Tightly squeezing
Every inch of peace
Out of my pulsating veins

I dangle
On the edge of a cliff
And with every pulsating heartbeat
I loosen my grip

As words slip from my mind
The hands on the clock
Spiral down to hell
Taking my sanity with it
And I just
Feel
Everything

Till I'm numb
It fades away
I cry
And shake
I am saved

I blanket my mind
Blurry my view
And nothing but
Fuzzy faces
Fluorescent lights
The hum
Of inane static noise
Envelope my head
Like a shot of Novocain
With the sweet
Sense of distance

Disorientation
Is the only destination
For a world with a compass
Spinning out of control
But to let go
Is to fling into space
Slowly suffocate
And fade away
But the problem is
I
Don't
Care.
Compass
Please fly me
Away from here

"HEYYYY"
Mind screams
****
Forgot to shut it up with that little blue pill again
Too late
Morning will be torturous either way
Dragged to hell by sleep deprivation
Or the reminents of a pill taken a little too late at night
Pick your poison  
Well well
Sleep deprivation it is
Now that you have my utmost attention
What would you like to tantalize me with tonight?
A poem?
Fantastic!
Not like my emotional or physical wellbeing matters anyway
Please
Entertain me with your 2 AM blues
Ugh
So late
Really?
Why are we googling North Korea?
Can't we do this tomorrow?
I'm gonna hate you so bad tomorrow