how did those days turn into these?
How did our emotions morph into those burst fire hydrants, from
old summer days
how did our tears become frequent sprays of salt water
how come the sun went away, locked itself deep inside of us
afraid of the dark.
our rainbows turned monochrome when we
discovered no gold at the end. We found instead a mirror of ourselves
and we hated what we saw
so we took a rock and tossed it at the reflection, lost.
All we had left was a shattered image. All we had left was a landscape destroyed. We
defaced our skies by painting them black, tore out the daffodils of spring and
crushed them beneath our fingers, and then we cried because there was nothing
left for us. We learned to live without love.
Set fire to our souls just to feel the burn so we wouldn’t have to feel anything but the
pain. We let loose our inhibitions,
destroyed ourselves with alcohol and cigarettes,
and faceless, nameless, lips.
And when we cried for help our voices were drowned
out by the sound of our dysfunctional beating hearts! our screams weren’t recognised
as signs of distress, they were routine parties, and thumping
bass. Dark lit rooms with sporadic flashes of blue light. But
somewhere inside the chaos of ourselves, we froze
and did the one thing we swore never to do. we looked back and
broke down when we saw what we
had become.
Instead of screaming we stood silent. Instead of crying we
smiled at the sadness and nodded.
Accepted that it was time to
change.
Laid down in our beds at night, and whispered, ‘It’s not okay.’
Slowly coaxed out the long forgotten
sun and became night lights in
the confines of ourselves.
Ready for love.
Ready for us.