your precious smile,
that never failed to shine;
a heaven-sent beam,
that made my heart your realm.

2. your tenderness,
that gave me bliss;
how could someone be
like you, so dearly?

3. your good vibes,
that surpassed all tribes
in giving off the positivity
i need for my stubborn reality.

4. your talents,
that awakened everyone's hearts;
you are my significant inspiration,
you give life to my life's ambition.

5. your humility,
that's filled with sincerity.
while everyone else is toplofty,
you remained lowly.
not everyone as wonderful as you,
could show meekness too.

6. the happiness you shared,
at times when smiling is something
i never dared;
darling, it meant everything.

7. for your meaningful silence,
that gave me a better comprehension.
although your stillness was tense,
i knew in my heart it was never a rejection.

8. for your music,
that never halts to flourish.
music, your depiction of aesthetic;
through you, the melody will never tarnish.

9. for being your genuine self,
you gave me potency to do the same.
shamming is no longer something i'll play, for you taught me how to
end that witless game.

10. for bringing me daily sunshine,
for setting the moon & the stars aligned;
my everyday became better,
and i will treasure you forever.


there are way more reasons
on why i love you for real.
through the passing seasons
i could slowly & slowly reveal
and show you how i truly feel.
as time passes us by,
i would no longer hesitate
and keep my sentiments ensconced.
through the coming weeks, months and years,
as long as we have all the time
i would dauntlessly lay out to you
that the way i feel for you is true.

I could’ve woken you up in the morning and could’ve been the sun that rises even when we both live in a place where it never does.
I could’ve taken you to museums, at least 2 of where I’ve been to. The first one, we’ll have to take the bus because I’d tell you that I’m too lazy to drive but for the second one, I will tell you that I’ll drive you there.
My car would look at me as though it knows that there is another soul seating in the passenger seat – it was no longer some books, a box of pizza, or my dog.
I could’ve taken photos of you in that place, post them everywhere but subtly so that they can see that there are at least 2 forms of art in that photo — the one you’re looking at and the one I’m looking at.
I could’ve talked to you at night under the stars, in the same rooftop where I told you that I liked the cathartic experience of doing just what we could’ve done; the same rooftop where you talked about your life, at least some pieces of it.
I could’ve brought you to where I used to study. We could’ve walked the halls that stared at me for being too alone and too lonely only so I could tell them, “Hey, here he is, finally.” and they could’ve smiled at me because they know how long the longing lasted.
We could’ve taken a stroll in the shade of the trees or could’ve had a picnic there while watching the joggers and the sunset.
I could’ve introduced you to my friends – they’ve been meaning to meet you. They too know how long I’ve been stuck on an island by myself. They know who I was when I was eleven and when I was sixteen and I bet, if you gave them a chance, you could’ve heard the crazy things we did.
And maybe they could’ve liked you. They could’ve told me how lucky I was and probably would’ve warned me that if I hurt you, they’d stick with you instead of me.
I could’ve introduced you to my family — my mom liked you even then. I could’ve introduced you to my little brother who I would consider as the biggest and most important judge of character because I believe that children can sense goodness in people and he could’ve seen that in you.
I could’ve written you letters, could’ve left random little tokens I would've used for all the words I cannot muster to say.
I could’ve played the piano for you even if I just know, at most, 3 songs; even though I don’t really know how to read notes at all.
I could’ve introduced you to the artists I like and I could’ve known more of yours. I could’ve listened to them and I would have had to remember you every time.
I could’ve held your hand, could’ve eaten brunch with you, could’ve read you a poem.
I could’ve loved you — could have – if I was the given the chance.
But, I was and I could’ve used it but I didn’t.

I come from sunlight,
      The sweeping of leaves,
      South London streets,
      Lurburnum seeds;
      Hot semolina,
      A spoonful of jam,
      Hands full of gooseberries,
      That's who I am.

      I come from rose petals,
      The sound of the fairs,
      The smell of candyfloss
      Mist in the air;
      I come from warmth,
      My parents hands,
      Outings to parks,
      Both small and grand.

     I come from knowledge,
     True and false,
     From nursery rhymes,
     And stories and pictures of God;
     I come from gentleness,
     A quiet afternoon,
     From visions of loveliness,
     Sewn on a spool.

    I come from two worlds,
    With different ways,
    A threaded pearl necklace,
    And sensible soles
    A mother and father,
    I think I knew,
    I came and I wandered,
    I looked at the view.

       By Mary **

This desolate road seems forever long
And my worn feet will carry me through the ruin
All alone, but if you had heard my song
You might just understand why I’m doing
Maybe I’m the strongest person of us all
Maybe you’re used to me being alone
But that doesn’t mean that when I take a fall
I can survive, live on my own

Noticing someone else’s suffering is hard
Wrapped up in your troubles, with an aching heart
But if you open your eyes, you’ll see a man apart
If you can call me a man, I guess

Walking round with an unchanged expression
Ducking and keeping away from the deed
You might think it’s all to get attention
And you’re right, but that’s what I need
I knew a group of people whom my heart held dear
I loved them, and I love them still
But they weren’t there for me in my time of fear
Now I’m not gonna bend my will

How many days of quiet can I keep?
How hard will the blade into my mind seep?
How long can I hide away and weep?
Before you realise I’m not at best

So it’s time to say fare thee well
Don’t know where I’m strolling in my daze to
Just gonna follow my path down the well
See if it’s someplace new
So I’ve thought it through and through again
No pleading will make me change my head
Maybe, before, if I had a friend
But now, it’s too late to hear what I’ve said

The love I have for you will always burn
But my back’s to you, and I’ll always turn
If you haven’t figured it out, you’ll never learn
I want a hug, but I’m drowning in my sleepiness

I’m a soldier
in a war
sold to the highest bidder
Biding my time
getting high
but not getting
anything out of
life

A lifer
a loser
lost his way
was on his way
on a journey
was earning
a living
was living
a life
in spite of
spitting in the face
of all I was faced with
Couldn’t face up
to the need
I was feeding
A hole
from which
my soul
was bleeding
Unknown reason
harboring this treason
give it time
it will season
Belief system
the Devil
finds pleasing

No matter
how much I tried
and from everyone hide,
including myself,
what was
deep inside
If I went
and made
an attempt
a fool I'd be,
wasted time spent
A lament
at controlling
the tide
And each day
from the next
more and more
of me died

There was a time
when all my efforts
went unheeded
and instead
succeeded
But these courtships
did not breed
or plant the seed
Instead was seething
to be
leaving
Escaping from me
with each breath
I’m breathing

A horrible time
indeed
Unfamiliar,
making me ill
Not having free will
Undeserving
and not for me
to get
Must get angry
and upset
Breaking steps
So many
missteps
I’m falling
more than I’m standing

Steps I’ve climbed
mostly blind
by my blindfold
Its knots
I bind
the moment
I ‘rise-and-shine’
so that
in time
when rising
like yeast,
the hiding
inner self
self-defeats

Every hand folding
as I’m
raising the bets,
doesn't make sense
From where
did I get
this invisible pet
Originally set
and previously molded
in the early stages
of the morning
in a story
that’s boring
and been told
time and time again
with
lost love ones
and friends

A friendly reminder
that a
“stitch-in-time”
is not
a time saver
if the referenced ‘stitch’
relied upon
was built upon
lies
Consumed
from others
that we
self tie
but mostly
force fed
by the very hand
controlled
by my head

It’s a numbing thought;
reasons sought
Elusive?
‘yes’
but pieces
caught
My peace disturbed
by actions
brought
from a desire
to numb
so that these thoughts
will be
forgotten

Decayed
and rotten
left for days
in a
wrought iron cage
Anyone
with sage
too afraid
to consume
but 'In-Doom'
I trust
and with full ******
my smile
displayed;
Forward I go
for sins
I pay
and lie within
this bed
I've made

Not night;
thick of day
No difference displayed
Skewed indifference
to the
different
paths
that have been
laid
like the path
of destruction
from this day
back
in my wake
Bindings
can't brake
A life's mistake
Lay me down
my soul
to take
Lying in state,
a viewing,
my wake
My mind
now awake
-
Cruelty's laugh
makes me
an ***
A crass reminder
of a life
that's past

Falling for a liar
I keep asking myself why?
You said my wall was the problem
My wall built to the sky

You didn't realize
what you had done
Every time that you came by
You put my hand on the gun

Step by step I went
Just building that wall higher
Brick by brick it grew
Falling for liar

That's exactly what it'll do
itll make you feel so numb
Realizing nothing you said was true
How could I be so dumb

So high no one could see the top
Looking down from my sky scraper
I couldn't figure out how to stop
Walls and walls built with newspaper  

Here I can see you from a far
I can predict who's trouble
Some say I'm too close to the stars
Far away from your dirt and rubble

Blinded by the light
Nowhere near the ground
All your pretty words
Couldn’t ******* back down

My shelter from the storm
Here I know what's true
Miles and miles from your lies
My clarity is nowhere near you.

A part of me died today
A part of me died today
You ripped my heart out from my chest
Stuck a needle in  the left side
Like you knew what you was doing
But, you didn't
You killed the bottom of my heart
Part of me died today
Part of me died today
You took a drink of that *****.
Took a drink and spit out those words
Those words hurt me so
That another part of my heart died today
I tried so  hard to not let it happen
But it died before I could stop it
Stop the hurt from drying up more of my heart
Part of me died today
Part of me died today.
I one day will bring them back to life.
To beat like it once did
But, it's not beating today
My heart that is
Hopefully tomorrow or  week from now
A part of me died today
Right in front of your eyes
A part of me died
As you looked at me with that look
I knew you didn't care
That part of me died today
Part of me died today

Once you participate in a race, if not anything else, you know one thing for sure.
Your own calibre.
It's then you realize and understand you need to make an active participation in every race from here onwards.

Your first experience teaches you a lot, since what follows later is an active participation from your side.

Over a period of time everything of which you are part starts changing
Now it's time to look for a better future
Always keep in mind that a secured future cannot be achieved if efforts are not been made
An uncertain future not only remains uncertain, but also keeps the present on hold.

What is thought upon is not the aim, but also the efforts that need to be made.
Always keep in mind take one step at a time while climbing the ladder, then it does not matter how long the ladder is.
The only thing that matters and also will make a difference is when you fall off the ladder.
At that point in time you will have to decide for yourself whether you want to climb again.

It’s not a mistake or an error, something which is done intentionally when you fall off the ladder, since mistakes happen.
Better learn from those mistakes and keep going
A moment in time will come when you will realize and understand how everything started
That will be the great moment in time, since that moment will be important
Till then keep going.

It’s success that everyone wants, but there is a price for everything, which you pay, including the success that you want.
Success comes at a price.

Better understand the outside world carefully and then act according to your own experience.
Once a step it taken, there is no point in looking back
Agreed it’s now or never, but only for those who know what they have been through in the past.

Once decided upon something, stick to the same
Understand and realize one thing for sure, time and tide waits for no one
Always be truthful and honest to yourself, even when you are making all the efforts.
Efforts never go wasted when the right direction is sought.

Compromise and negotiation is part of the game
What’s important to remember is mending your ways for short terms gains, something which remains unacceptable.

Act wisely, but be sure that there is no shortcut to success.

So it’s the passion and desire in you, inside you
The willingness to take the risk and go out for something of which you are absolutely sure.

The never give up attitude in life will make everything clear in mind
Once decided and everything is set and settled in mind, then from that point onwards proceed towards your aim.

Finally all that matters is success.
So don’t waste a single moment in time of your life and act according to what you have planned.
Definitely a moment in time will come when you will gain success and then the world will be at your feet.
Till that point in time comes keep going.