It fell and shattered.

And I’m scrambling on all fours.

Picking up shatters.

We were building a boat.
A sea-worthy vessel made for two.
A cosy little nest,
a shell of the promise for me and you.

We made it sturdy...
From keel to hull.
We sang to each other
to oust the lull.

We spoke of the adventures,
together we'd avidly chase.
We braced for the storms,
we'd most likely face.

As the last drop of sweat...
Fell freely to our feet,
the boat was done.
What were once planks, was then complete.

I climbed aboard
and hoisted up the sail.
You lingered for a bit...
Seemingly cautious that the boat might fail.

The craft quickly drifted out to sea...
When the wind, the sail did willingly welcome.
I cried out to you so you could hop on...
So with me you could come.

But you simply stood there...
With a gaze incredibly deadpan.
As the currents pulled me further,
I only then realised...
That I was never your plan.

Shhh...can you hear me?
I'm hardly a pin
I'm hardly a mile away
Shhh...do you know the pain I'm in?

Look...can you see me?
I'm hiding behind shadowed eyes
And a mask of smiles
Look...will you look past the honest lies?

Taste...can you palate the bitterness?
Sharp and acrid accusations
Dancing on wagging tongues
Taste...will you swallow what is given?

Touch...can you feel my failing muscles?
Every fibre losing this very battle
A futile fight I must concede
Touch...will you save the pieces that crumble?

Read...can you make sense of my heart?
Pounding behind its bony cage
Pumping red into my desperate nib
Read...can you understand the ink staining my page?

Shhh*...can you hear me?
I don't think you can
For I have ceased to speak
In the universe of man

The shoes I bought
Are too big for me
But I love them
I love them dearly

I strapped them up tight
I redid the laces
Put on layers of socks
Crammed ***** of tissue to
fill the empty spaces

I submerged them in water
In a pail, to the bottom they'd sink
I left them in the sun
In the hopes that they'd shrink

I just wish that they'd peer through their eyelets
And see me for all I've done
I will not cease to fill the voids
And fulfil the love I've begun

The shoes I bought
They remain too big for me
But I still love them
I love them dearly

Backdrop of hues from heaven's palette
Two silhouettes stood hand in hand
A pair so in love on their deserted islet
Only witnesses were the sky and the sand

Two silhouettes with roles of lovers
Frolicked forever in the setting, evening sun
Only they'd know what laid under covers
Secrets of pure passion in their blood did run

Their merriment presented bare in a playful dance
Two silhouettes engulfed in their own private universe
Kisses and embraces offered in a reciprocative trance
Dark lips matched the other's voiceless whispers

Two silhouettes then dissolved with the set of sun
Strained my eyes to unravel this sweet shadow clad mystery
Last few moments pierced through like a shot from a gun
Because I realised that one was you while the other wasn't...

                            me...

•
i
    am
       a sea
           farer•a
                  rider of the
                         dwindling air...
•
one day my ailing boat would invite
the water•i will finally sink into
~ ~ ~~oblivion's lair•~~ ~ ~
~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~  *~ ~
~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~
~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~   ~~
~~ ~~ *•m y exis tenc e ~ ~ ~~  
    ~~ w ill then  be • but a we a k, ~
i ndis  cern ible... reflec  tion of my sel f
~   •  ~
                      ~     i' d notb e  free •but~
        ~    ~          t rapped i n abo x
                   ~   on a  lon g for-  ~~
              g o tte  n  ~
~    sh e ~
l  
f
•
.~

Life is full of mischief and artful trickery
The way through never made easy for the foolhardy

Misleading gestures only employed to solely distract
Left up to you to decipher and hopefully extract

Experiences teach much, had you only been accepting and learning
That a dove could be made to appear; out of thin air, out of nothing

When the road ahead offers no more than mere misdirections
Altered trajectories stemming from convenient misinterpretations

Your cards may have been dealt revealing astonishing outcomes
"Not the hand you get but the game you play," said some

Depending on deft wrists and a flick of the wand
Overnight you'll wake to find that a new day had dawned

Only would happen if into the wind you hadn't spat
Hope would emerge like a hare out of a top hat

The play on light and shadow, nothing short of dramatic
You volunteer onstage, accompanied by apprehension and suspenseful music

Faced with an eager audience; you realise that alone you stand
Be not surprised to learn that love is life's sleight of hand...

.

just as his cheeks
and tongue
tasted salt,

the porcelain
tasted warm crimson

.

Today is knowing
that the night before
was only a feeble attempt
to delude myself
into thinking
that the world spins around
me and my ideals.

Today I know better.
Today I am sober.

.
_______________________________
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
•                                                   •
•                                  ­                •
•turn the hourglass, let's start•
•i offer you... all  that's close•
•to my heart •  i'll unveil•
•to you  my  concrete•
•poetry......•so•
•let us•
•          b          •
•                e               •
•                   g                  •
•                  in this               •
•           30 day journey•         •
•witness  the fall... of each grain•
•through the words that i've lain•
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
*___­________

Make me your emblem
Adopt my colours
Let them be seen
Through actions and verse

Make me your flag
Fly me high upon the sturdiest masts
Watch me billow with purpose
Catching the wind that forever lasts

Make me your anthem
With truth in words that rings so clear
Sing me loud and true
Sing me always for all to hear

Make me your creed
Pledge yourself to always uphold
My name in thoughts and writes
Emblazoned across as your brand in gold

Make me your home
Your shelter for when the day's done
A safe haven to return to
With the setting of the sun

Or just...

Make me someone...*
Anyone...
So at least I know that I exist
Make me a simple somebody in your life
Not just a name on a forgotten list

There’s no respite
from this spectre
from memories dead.

There’ll be more moons
before vigil relinquishes
its stead.

Welcome the new day
As night lifted her screen
The sun had brought its palette
Boasting of colours never before I've seen

Rays like paintbrushes
As they dove into the water
Light explosively burst into emeralds
Ripple and eddies would sparkle and shimmer

Bolts from the orange orb
Speared the tops of trees and sprawling ground
Tinting their leaves with green of olives
And grass with freshness abound

Its wand touched the tip of the distant lighthouse
Turning it the brightest green
It brought life back to my surrounding
Layered my eyes with the greenest of sheens

Such beauty laid bare
The difference was literally night and day
But my heart is also green
To readily accept what my mind has to say

As if a child
Or yet still a greenhorn
I should ignore the stains of yellow
And enjoy this new day that had just been born

It's beginning...
As my day matured into the tangerine sun.
Familiar feelings effortlessly conjured as the same old tales were spun.

Some came in hues of marmalade
Traces of citrus that left in haste.
Initial sweetness on the palate that would fade
Only making way for a bitter aftertaste.

A few were wrapped in tints of ginger.
A jolt-like sensation that spoke...
Intense and unmistakable in nature.
Like glowing embers engulfed in latent flames and smoke.

Several bore the colours and scent of marigold
Boasting of orange petals whimsically waving to the clouds...
Whispering hints of rumours from days of old,
Days of when mine was the only silent face in a boisterous crowd.

The ones forged in bronze were few and hardly said.
Like the only compelling excerpt embedded within infinite chapters.
Hidden words in plain sight strung together boldly in red.
Rubies cast carelessly in the swiftest of rivers...

It is beginning...**
The end of today as the sun grew redder...
I'd bide the sands of time as it slips away into forever...

As the violet of day
draws to a close...          
Witnessed the dwindling
vermillion sun,             
being swallowed  
by the horizon.
Ever so slowly,
       seconds stretched...
      This moment here...
Captured...      
and                
froze.        

    Brushing off
the indigos  
  and                
blues.          
of the past,
            Whilst I shed these
scarlet tears.
Burdened with
              unfounded speculation
and fears.        
Gifted the        
lease of bravery
but I know...        
it wouldn't last.      

A final skirmish            
between                          
night and light.            
My crimson wings    
spread to greet the.        
green evening air.            
Feather and wind.            
spoke to each other;      
quivered as if              
the same story        
they shared.          
A conversation    
              that ended quickly before
both took              
flight.                        

To the                        
highest heavens,
leaving a          
trail of leaves
from days of
yellow...        
  Flying past the
                 blushing orange cheeks
  of                        
sleeping clouds.
             Evading the beckoning
of                      
    night's curtains
and            
shrouds.  
    Into the sun,
I would go.
                Beyond world's end,
           I would follow...

To find you
                  where the universe
                      would run its course.
                      I'd gladly soar through
       spectrum's grain,
Through        
      unfamiliar realms
and                  
              warped new planes.

Why?          

Because      
blood red  
rubies          
pump            
through mine
and                
garnets          
flow              
      through yours...

He voiced the words...

And the spell
fell clumsily from his lips -
unfounded
and rather obtuse.

But when he finally speaks
with his heart...

Magic bursts forth
and
the enchantment
ensues...

Unravelling...
Like an
endless spool of yarn...

Constant flow
of thoughts,

only punctuated
by the break
between each song
and the next.

You only get
one
line...

I think...

I've
squandered
mine...

There was a time I saw...
The beckoning stars,
in your eyes, juvenescent.
Like beacons from afar.

There was a time I felt...
The burn of your lips.
The rush of crazed blood
that held in tight grips.

There was a time I inhaled...
your intoxicating scent.
Inciting cardiac somersaults
in a time long spent.

There was a time I thought...
We would last forever
through the last of grains.
Hourglass doomed to shatter.

There was a time I knew...
That nothing could ever alter,
same tune we have hummed,
words we've carved in each other.

There was a time I dreamt...
Of floating in your seas.
Your vast body enveloping,
drowning out my insecurities.

There was a time I worried...
for your dreams of grandeur.
When you spoke of seeking,
the dream of life much better.

There was a time I died...
When you had packed and gone.
Leaving only the broken
promises and empty dawns.

There was a time I hoped...
That sooner you'd be back.
Standing at my door,
beside you, your travel laden sack.

But now you're back...
The pain gnaws in greater bites.
The stars, they twinkle no longer
they were killed by the city lights.

my steps are just attempts
to stow away
on the sails, on future's mast

as I walk away,
leaving behind the trail
of my unsuccessful past...

.
• p-                                                                
eople do                                                              
not see past                                                               
her   makeover•                                                               
•only  traded snea-                                                               
kers for heels beyond                                                             
her years• starkness of                                                         
change, her  before and                                                   
•••after•only constants                                                 
•••are her darkness and                                             
•••••fears•happily ever                                          
•••      after is a dream so                                     
•••         far•when sickness                                  
•••          consumed her caregi-                           
   •••           vers old•hides these away                    
  •••              as she approaches the stationary      
        •••                  car •  only her stilettos know... of her
         •••                     ••••••••••••••••••••••••••
      •••                       ••••••••••••••••••••••••


*story untold•

Nursing a head full of questions.
Things left voiceless and unsaid.
Thoughts running errant,
and cracked promises half made.

In my already bloated baggage,
I take in an extra load.
A tourist in a familiar place
stranded by the side of the road.

Should’ve noticed the clues...
Should’ve read the signs along the way...
Now I stand in the middle to nowhere,
reliving yesterday, today.

.

I’ve grieved…
Not so much over what was lost.
More so the way
I tried to bury these memories.

Candles…
that for a time once,
stoked hale,
unflickering flames.

All tied to strings
that lead straight to my heart
and all partially buried…
In many a shallow grave.

•••

Perhaps because a deeper tomb
would mean a lesser purchase
and looser grip on these strings.

I never could let go…

.