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695 · Sep 2014
disastrous love
jacky Sep 2014
i was thinking of you
(like always)
and how badly you struck me
that I tend to forget
the pain you have caused my heart
i admit i was hurt
but please, keep me down
under your great avalanche
walk me down inside the eye
of your storm
in between the bursts of lava
and in the tiny heart attack
of you missing a step
i want to be frozen
forever
inside the idea of us
quick and endless
676 · May 2014
insect
jacky May 2014
You *like an insect-
you barely touched my skin
yet I felt your wings
flutter in time with each
of my
heartbeat.
randomly short poems made at random times
672 · Jan 2014
incandescent
jacky Jan 2014
darkness fills me up
I am not scared
I am not nervous

it is in peace
when you start
to conjure
that behind your eyelids
are the infinite number of stars
glowing in your
own kind of dark
eyes beginning to adjust
and to my surprise
it is you more
incandescent**
of them billion stars
Inspired

I always think that eyes are the best part of any human being
647 · Dec 2014
wait for it
jacky Dec 2014
one day you're going to feel beyond your body
a transcendent feeling that your soul cannot utter a word
and your eyes forgot what was real and what was a dream
like there living a story from your childhood books
flying like a fairy or a dragon with flame-throwing breaths
and your hands will fail grasping your body
and then music will flow though the waves and particles of light
travelling in its own speed but you still can see it
like everything is in slow motion
like everything is unreal

but right now,
everything is in your safe zone
the way the things in your room feels like a prison
and the sound of your heartbeat is the only thing your ears could trust
like the doors were locked
the windows are shut, there is no escaping
you've danced your way into your own travesty
and it keeps you feeling, and the feeling is changing
they may say that change is good
but they also lie to your face, nothing is still real
a different kind of sensation of blackness in the middle of the day
emptying, frustrating, wilding

but one day, you will feel special
hope for it, wait for it
forgetting the rules tonight...
646 · Jun 2014
why can't i
jacky Jun 2014
There are voices inside my head. And for the first time
I realize, they weren't those demons I have believed.
Rather, it was mine. It was me, the whole time.

Prejudices and judgments
I have tattooed by myself,
on myself.
They sting like a thousand needles
puncturing through every bubble of idea
my mind blows.

They imprisoned me.

I have done this with myself.
writing about how i cannot write right now.

it is about this organization I am in. I have to write and revise, but I cannot. I am shadowed by these 'voices' which is apparently just mine.

I really do hope someone could help me. Please.
645 · Apr 2015
We were once tide
jacky Apr 2015
We were once tide -
An anticipated push and pull,
Rushes into the shores, and withdraws of the seas.
Written in squares of today and tomorrow,
The way, today is low
And tonight is high.

There were no uncertainties
Or questions – we always
Know, what to move
And when to go.
Stringed by orbits of
The Sun, The Moon, The Earth.

May it be Sunday but
The waves will praise only sand
Touching, like a morning greeting,
And a kiss of illusion – and these?
Were memories, of how you and I
Were only once tide.
sharing this because i hate myself might as well be hated by everyone. I am so done being called "corny" and "cheezy". No I feel what that Xfactor contestant.
643 · Jul 2014
self(less)ness
jacky Jul 2014
All this time, I kept a fair distance
to the things that might give much more
of what they call pain. Until
I learned, how to permanently
(or so I thought)
carve them onto a
hidden translucent white wall
reminding me that they're
always there, lurking.

Years have passed and I have gone mastered
the art of feeling nothing
(or pretending not to).


So, when you came along,
with all the glory of your humanity
and the realness of your skin
touching with mine,
(remember those things I've carved?)
they escaped like the wall had broken down
fallen down
the way I fell for you -
little by little, inch by inch
piece by piece,
me by me.

All those fears that I tried to run away from
were all stitched with your love
and I can't love you
if they're with you
but I still did. And I still will.

Even if it throws me to the oblivion
of my own sacrilegious fears,
when the ransom for all those pain
and hurt
and suffering I will get
is the infinite taste
and satisfaction of my desires

by your love.

*By your only love.
i am still trying to practice my writing and i hope you guys like it.
hit me up, and let's get the conversations going. =)
641 · Jul 2015
i am no good
jacky Jul 2015
i consume the continuous days without nighttime
and greater shadows afflict mine. towards the edge
a body without mass they had no power
to gravitate towards the ground. In my throat
there's a soundless scream and an abyss of burials
no one attended. and in case the mindless tongues,
the senseless sensates, and the human brainiacs, cared
the sky would be my dance floor, and the atmosphere would still
drive me breathing it in. a mismatch of socks,
a counterclockwise swing, a cold cup of coffee,
a bullet sans its gun, and a gun with the imaginary trigger -
i am no good. i am no good.
reflects what i really feel // i hope you like it.
jacky Feb 2015
Hell, I would write a poem about you
and not talk about your eyes
the way they don't even see me now
or your mouth, the way
they don't seem to recognize my name
or your hair, which reminded me of summer
the way they flaunt and dance with the wind
back when you haven't cut it
or your hugs, one arm up my neck
the other holds my arm
or your scent that is beyond aesthetic
of an artwork placed behind your ears
or laugh, the way it makes me
think of the future,
or your name
which is always be
precious

I guess I failed, about not talking about them
all of them, all of you
I guess I am not yet tired
I guess want to be reminded
I guess I still can write about you
even if it's Sunday, and I've missed a thousand masses
I am not sacrilegious, you are

"when I fell in love with your long brown hair,
you decided to cut them off..."

But I didn't fell off
I stayed here
Hell, writing another for you
always
random outbursts of feelings, will someone teach me how to let go
jacky Dec 2014
if it's not me then don't take me.

i have grown into a person,
unreliable, unhealthy, and selfless
throwing knives through each breath
but underneath the ***** skin i am in,
if it's not me, then don't take me.

my fingerprints are all over the news
one said i killed you, one said you killed me
there was no other way, but to wait
into the darkness
we both created.

i have confessed
with every count of blood cells inside my veins
there was no turning back
until you did
and you brought me -

i woke up, naked, in the middle of the night
in the middle of a deserted road,
it was empty, no cars, no grass, no walls, no us
just me, just you. i waited for you to say it
but you made me wait -

you said the words i needed to hear
you uttered every syllable the way i imagined
and right now,
how i wish i didn't, because
if you're not going to take me, then don't take me.

if its not me, don't play with me.
don't tell me you will, and then stop

like how would you feel
if this
will e-










nd right here?

if you're not going to take me wholly, then don't.

if its not me, then don't take me.
my friends never stop inspiring me, if you'll get this link, it means this is for you.
625 · Dec 2014
naked
jacky Dec 2014
i am naked, and this is my story

though my thoughts are a mess
and all that i am is in a dysfunctional state
my skin screams the same things i tried to bury before
this is not me, and I could perfectly remember
running away the moment i get scratched on my knees
or get little wounds on my palms
the moment i begin to feel
i run away

this was not planned, hurting is never part of any of anyone's plan
it's the compromise of life, it's the second skin of love
and i let my guards down, threw the keys
opened every passage i could ever open
unconditionally it happened, like hurting it was not on my plan
by this time, i remember
smiling together with a stranger in my reflection
'let's do this
for once, fight for something, fight for a possibility'
and i still am, and i'll still will

this depth is the shallow part of the river or the ocean
hidden beyond the pebbles, sharp edges of stone
my heart swims, with eyes closed
i let the current turn these words
into the crashing waves
feel it, do not be afraid
because i am, and i'm hurting

i don't care, please see that
the future holds you like a hostage
stockholm syndrome wins over
and i'd be the police at the end of the scene
trying to salvage whatever that is left to proclaim

i could be selfish just now, you could be selfish just now

reality is absurd and its hands are catching on
even the fear I left behind seemed never left me
hooked on my neck, ready to choke me
with one word you say
I'd stop, but I won't
this heart won't
this mind won't

i am naked and this is my story
those clothes were my shield, my shelter
and i torn them down
burning every inch
letting freedom take me over
feeling the pain flow through my veins
i am naked,
and all my clothes can't shield me from anything anymore
and i don't care, for once
i really want to feel every bit of it
whatever it is
whatever made me scared
here i am, naked

fill me in, and turn my bones into ashes
the way the flames
crept up my clothes

i am naked and this is my story
i know this could be scary. i am scared as ****, but i won't stop trying to prove it to you that it will be worth the try. i can't promise you anything other than everything that i am.

don't be scared.
accept me.
611 · Mar 2015
sugar
jacky Mar 2015
Heaved in the spoon of sugar,
your grains fall off and on
to the greasy kitchen table top.
And people never bother to ask
why you’ve been unreachable
when all of you crawls at the nothingness
of the unseen.
quick draft
jacky Dec 2013
we breathed each other heavily
heavy as my hand resting on your back
trying to press your body against mine
the sensation is forever
Scintillating and you do it all over
you moved down
and I gained high
with every stroke of your hand
I am paralyzed, I am wild
I brush your hair out of your face
so I could see it glow in the moonlight
you smile, I grin
I kiss you and you taste of sugar
salt, peppermint, the cigarettes you smoked
but most especially you taste like you -
moist like the rain
but dry like velvet -
under these sheets, we both cry in height
with all the love you gave
I lie on my back
waiting for your long brown hair
which I love, like the whole you
but then I realized something
you weren’t there
I was alone,
dry
in love
making
- ******* (12-25-13)

I'd love to see each people's reaction when they read the title which I really wrote below the paper I wrote it in. It is quite fascinating that the word ******* stings in all of them. Isn't it? You've got to admit that you liked it. Haha, I'm insane, sorry.
578 · Oct 2015
so sad today
jacky Oct 2015
so sad today
563 · Dec 2014
a little wish
jacky Dec 2014
I want to kiss a set of lips
that I can call mine.
I want to fall asleep within towering arms
at night, feel warm and safe.
I want to hold between my fingers
a pair of hands, and feel strong through its little bones.
I want to rest my head on a chest
with a heart screaming desire.
I want to hear my name
again and again, with a single voice
who only knows nothing but it.

But the only thing I want to be is to belong to somebody.
Own me, I wouldn't mine.
And all these wants and needs
will turn into something
that you would want as well,
that you would need as well.
And maybe, I will be one thing
you could want and need,
I wouldn't mind.
561 · Jun 2014
(i can't write)
jacky Jun 2014
it's that feeling of a thousand ants
roaming around your neck,
your feet, or anywhere.

it's that taste of a new thing,
of a new delicacy your head cannot see.

just the thought of wrapping your thoughts
around how people are able to look at it
shames me.

and i begin to release
whatever hatred you gave me

to all these uncomfortable layers
beneath me.
the tile says it all and I am having troubles
547 · Jan 2014
bad blood
jacky Jan 2014
if you could taste the blood
running out of my cuts
it won’t taste rust and salt
but bitter razor blades and asphalt
and you’ll be surprised
that you did not know this
because every time I cut
you weren't there, nobody else were
and although I am afraid
I was never scared to rush
those blades to and fro
of my veins that bled
your same ******* blood.
This was the epitome of my Christmas, great huh? Hoping this year I'd do better.
541 · Dec 2013
Unending spree
jacky Dec 2013
Dazzled as I was,
she called my name
twisting my bones
into unrecognizable smiles
of red bliss of laughter
chimes of glee
her voice on replay
in an **unending spree
I'm not really good at titles so, bear with me please.
536 · May 2014
nothingness
jacky May 2014
i could not weave
the right words
to describe all my thoughts
about you.

the fluttering of the
butterfly's wings scares me
but i couldn't deny the beauty in each black and white
patterns created on its wings.

the breaking of the sunshine
through my blinds
seemed to wake me up each morning
with just the right amount
of heat, of light.

the sound of that old song
you always play in the night to keep me asleep
when you leave,
runs through my veins, each word, each note.

You are the butterfly
with how much beauty you are
and your love brings - it scares me.

You are the sunshine
with your company, i never get tired
of seeing your face when i wake up.

You are that old song
taking me to the memories when
you were still breathing, beside me.

But you are ultimately the raindrops
i see, the first ones to fall in a heavy rain.

You were never scared of falling, even into nothingness.
*Into my nothingness.
just a random thought at 12 midnight // what a wonderful love i would want to have eventually. the one that compares int thing you love and you hate but still be just as perfect for you.
528 · Jan 2014
honesty
jacky Jan 2014
they say 'always be honest'
only to judge what's the truth.

with their eyes, eager to hear
the truth is nothing they fear
they'll make you comfortable
watch you, communicate with you

but when you open your mouth,
breathe out the ******* reality of your life

their eyes are on you
condemning your whole being
being honest will give us one of  the best feelings in the world, but the problem is what comes after - people judging your truth.
527 · Jan 2014
2014 says hi, 2013 fuck you
jacky Jan 2014
what is so special about this night?
is it the ending year? or
the memories you take
as the year passed
have you changed?
have you achieved your goals?
or are you just like me
disappointed at myself
but so far and at least
we made it through another
and saying hello to the other

the question really is,
are we going to do better?
are we going to make it better?
are you going to make it better?
i think 2013 deserves a funeral
518 · Feb 2014
as of the moment
jacky Feb 2014
Good news: I got into a Literary Folio as a Staffer for Poetry section in my University. It is a great oppurtunity for my writing.

Bad news: I cannot update often since i would be submitting my works to the Folio.

Good news: There is a chance that I would be published :)

Bad news: I won't be able to post right away but if my works will not br approved i will post it here.
513 · Feb 2014
we live, we die: it's basic
jacky Feb 2014
In a matter of seconds
minutes or so
I inhale you
deeply

Killing every inch
Of what's left
of me
slowly

I don't regret this
Because in a matter
Of years, and if i be lucky
Of decades
We all live
To face death

I'm just enjoying the
Little sins
That would ****
my existence
another  poem dedicated to death
504 · Jan 2015
a race
jacky Jan 2015
Tell me when you are ready to run
and we will sprint the highways together
with our hands beside us and our past behind
we will try to change directions
but the wind always wins
it's not a choice, it's a wave we'll flow through
the current and even if it hurts
I will make sure I'd get the pain
and you'll just be drenched with the illusion
that this path is good, that this path doesn't hurt.
You will tell everyone that you didn't need me
and that I am pathetic and overly dramatic
but remember this
I waited for you
to be ready, and when you said your yes
it was both our decision
i thought we got this together
it ended up, and i was dumbstruck
this was a race
your hands designed, your mind twisted it all
told me we got this
together
and now I ended up as a loser
of a game
i helped you mold together
nothing much going on
501 · Jan 2014
today
jacky Jan 2014
the turn of events
one I was not expecting
when you were just on the back of my mind
we stumbled upon each other
on a day your schedule was way out of hand
my hand
I got shy, but still
you opened you arms
stretched out them, long but thin arms
and you enveloped me
and, oh you smell like you
and your floral perfume
squeezed me a little
and I think must have died
when your low but high-pitched voice
and breath smells of menthol after you've just smoked
uttered my name,
just my name

and that is the moment
that
today turned into
*my kind of
day
The best things happens when you really least expect it.
jacky Jan 2014
i think I've seen heaven
dressed in partial colours
hiding behind your eyes
i felt it in your touch
sending shivers to my bones
giving me thoughts
i never knew i could fathom
and even I felt every kind of pain
it is you i see
what heaven would be and would feel like
new, fresh, and heavenly.

i think i've seen hell
my blood in my veins
through my heart
that beats only for you
but you don't care, you don't mind
that each pain i feel
burns in vain
but you don't care, you don't mind

*because as I've seen, as I've felt
heaven is nothing
and
hell is my everything
This is about loving, feeling, and hurting, that happened with a certain person as the catalyst of it all. It is just wonderful how a person can do those at the same time, and still be in love.

Love what a powerful tool.
(*******)
469 · Dec 2013
It is you, no one else
jacky Dec 2013
it is in your eyes
that I see glitter
that I see and feel laughter
coming inside from my soul
bursting out into the dry
desert of mine

it is in your lips
that I see fortitude
that I see and feel and touch
warmth
just lightly enough
that I do not burn

it is in your hands
that I see security
that I see and feel your pulse
when you touch me
in all the circumstances
I cave into

it is in your heart
that I see life
that I see and feel the evidence
that I’ll live and die for
for all the poetic reasons
in this insanely cruel world

it is in your soul
that I see love
that I see and feel alive
and for the first time
I do not want to vanish
to be with you, and no one else
460 · Sep 2014
Hansel Fell In Love
jacky Sep 2014
i was inspired to look
inside what forests are like
and took three pieces of bread
and followed your footsteps

how pretty were your prints
down the screeching floors of dead
and dried leaves crushed
in each step you take
and the way you leave
crumbs so you would not be lost

you kept singing that song
and soon, it's stuck
inside my mind
beside the cassette tape
labelled 'you'

but throughout our walk
you were startled
that someone like me
has been following you

you screamed and threw sticks and everything that catches your grip
you've noticed,
then I did-
every piece of bread you have thrown
were gone
as I followed you
the path was missing.

It was my feet, legs, my whole self
so intoxicated by my little adventure
of falling in love
erased the path where we are from
and the only way
to forget
is to forget

and even you are mad
and even you are hateful

**leave me under your nose
and keep me pinched
between your long fingers.
i don't care how
low, how pathetic
this body crumbles
into the path of your shadow -
just don't
let me
go.
tell me if this is okay, okay? =)
460 · Jan 2014
unrequited
jacky Jan 2014
All of those were in my mind
a pure product of my assumptions
negations, aspirations,
trying not to be blind
but I opened my eyes to **** wide.

You outshined my rational thoughts,
lost the flow, gave in, and lost
a game i didn't intend
to win
but you did, and i'm a fool.

A tattoo, that is what you are to me
to every inch of my body
I want you inked in me,
on me, at me, for me, to me
all the prepositions in the world.

And I'm glad, that you touched my life
even if I did touch yours,
I didn't make a sound, a scratch,
to you perfect life.
That's all I be,
nothing
a day's drag
excess
no
one


*I exist, but you don't think of me
the way I think of you.
That one word hurt me, I won't tell you but it's there.
457 · Jan 2014
fall
jacky Jan 2014
no promises of tomorrow
you lie awake waiting for everything to fall -
everything into their righteous places
the stars to fall
the leaves in autumn to crumble
sway and fall
the apple
the flow of a water fall

everything did,
but one thing didn't.

he still did not fall in love with you.
i am just sleepless and waiting
jacky Jan 2014
Falling in love is an easy task.
You let go, you forget yourself.
Heaven will wait, and cry to your regrets
but never will take you for falling in love.

Staying in love, is the hardest part.
but how would I know,
I've never been there.

Always the bridge, that's who I was,
who I am.
Never worth crossing for.
Once, a boy tried, only because
his destination was too far
and settled for the bridge
how ******* unfortunate is that.
I am.

But falling in love is an easy task.

*Sometimes, you fall in love like breathing.
You don't intend to, but you have to.
Currently fathoming on should I ever let myself fall in love because for the nth ******* time, I don't feel satisfied, and I think I'll never be. So, should I give up on feeling feelings?
434 · Jan 2014
counting on you
jacky Jan 2014
five flights of stairs
i don't mind

four unmet eyes
i don't mind

three minutes of silence
i don't mind

two silly questions
i don't mind

in any case
one wishing
one dreaming

that somewhere near
somewhere here

she could belong
counting on you
even just a second would do
425 · Jan 2015
candle a meter away
jacky Jan 2015
You are the candle a meter away from me.
  The little light you create was enough to burn
  my eyes, and I had to look away
  not for too long. I got addicted to your flame.

I refuse to elevate my eyes an inch from
  the yellow light in front of me.
  Over and over, I reckon and I reckon
  that your heat isn't burning me right, it was burning me from my insides.

You bend, you deform yourself, you break
  ever so gracefully, like dancing through the stagnant wind.
  And in that moment, your body is telling me
  a flame can die if the blow is too strong.

But you are the candle a meter away from me,
  and the space, the distance was too far
  even with your flame too yellow
  my lungs couldn't breathe enough air to make your flame flutter.
You cannot make people feel the way you wanted them to feel. You can only try. And by what I know, no matter how hard you try, if it's not meant, it won't work.
424 · Jan 2014
living
jacky Jan 2014
we follow all these certain rules
obtain all these certain goals
but for who? but for what?
for those who set up all those?
for those who created all
these images of a perfect life
these images of an ideal one
where you are allowed
to commit mistakes
but when you do,
they’ll condemn you
like you've never
done anything
right in this
life they
have designed
for you?
Everything that we live for, is all that we'd die for? I think otherwise.
415 · Apr 2014
easier (10w)
jacky Apr 2014
everything would be easier if we were both in love
first try to this 10w, and oh, I'm back. mostly for the summer only.
414 · Jan 2015
immeasurable
jacky Jan 2015
i don't even know what to feel
or if there is anything left to endure
my eyes fog up, an i can barely see
where my fingers are going,
it's a place i've known for a while
a silent suffering of endless tearing
and breaking and falling
my words ran from describing
the depth of the hollowness inside my chest

i feel so stupid to even feel this way,
but whenever i think that this is an illusion
that i imagined the throbbing inside my rib cage
because when i do,truth slaps my face and tells me
it is real, this is happening,

you
        are
              hurting.
i cannot even explain how painful this is
395 · Jan 2014
hold me
jacky Jan 2014
can’t stop thinking about your hands
and how badly I want them
intertwined with mine
but there’s more to that, them
that I’d like to feel
I want to touch them
feel the creases, its lines
follow every path that they’ll take me
and course through your skin
your bones, especially the tiny ones
that keeps them together
you keep me together
caress your fingernails
painted to match the colour of your skin
the top of your hand,
which beats into veins visible at touch
the narrow holes on your knuckles
and the spaces in between them
they are perfect
it feels perfect
you are perfect
and in every inch your fine fingers extend
they’re the only ones
who could touch me
and the only hands
that will forever be soft, careful, and loving
and no matter what cuts its skin
your hands, love
hold the life in me, and keeps my soul
caged in your soul
your hands will forever
hols me still
holding you
I have this terrible urge to hold her hand today. Yes, her.
393 · Aug 2014
the rush
jacky Aug 2014
I miss the rushing of words
that my fingers have troubles typing them all.
I miss the unending spree of thoughts
my mind cannot fathom one at a time,
but what I miss the most
is the touch of you
in every left-aligned poetry
your face reflects
transfixing all of me
stealing my own
memory of what
real beauty is.
still in dense state of mind
372 · Dec 2013
died of a thousand deaths -
jacky Dec 2013
died of a thousand deaths -
your smile
your long brown hair
lips, eyes, and cheeks
straight out of heaven
to be the angel
in my own personal
hell
I am a huge Christopher Poindexter Fan, he is a great poet and you should all check his works. He deserves it. And I got inspired to write in lieu of his writing style, much that it resembles e.e. cummings writings ( who is my no. 1 best poet).

I endure all these thoughts, often drunk, and while smoking.
364 · Dec 2014
there they lie
jacky Dec 2014
the words i cannot tell you
itches around the walls of my throat

there they lie
at the edges of my tongue

i cannot breathe
i cannot think

the only way to stop
is to tell you

i found the universe
and where it stops, where it begins
beyond your eyes
inside your mind

i got lost
359 · Dec 2014
anxiety
jacky Dec 2014
my chair has four legs
as my heart had four parts
and you happen to engraved your name in each of it
so that your blood
is haunted on my blood
and flowing through my veins
my body fights, but your name
it's your name
and you've been here
like this is your home

but this chair
it is not me, and your name is nowhere near this chair
I tried to engrave your name here
so you'll own this
just how you did to me, to my heart to my life
but then, it tripped
stood on one leg
and the feeling was the worst
i expected the fall
but then
it gave me thousand little heart attacks
this chair is an infinite loop
of fighting and falling
but never crashing

like it was told to make me feel this way
sitting on a chair
on its one leg up
falling infinitely
this how i feel right now. i don't know if i developed it or what but i cannot think straight and i cannot focus
355 · Dec 2013
i question myself
jacky Dec 2013
i question myself
if i chose the right
if i chose you
will you still
and believe
care and listen
for what i feel is real
yet i can't understand
give me time
give me you
if i chose the right
if i chose **you
I never felt this good about liking somebody, so I can't understand all the things i'm feeling.
345 · Aug 2014
Untitled
jacky Aug 2014
There are truths and lies, and realities
that are hard to swallow.
And until now
you're still stuck
between the walls of my throat.
345 · Dec 2014
how many
jacky Dec 2014
How many times did I tell her,
this is going to hurt?
how much threat does she need
to realize that this will not **** her
like a bullet through the head, loud and fast?
But a slow burning feeling of a torch
lit down her feet, inch by inch
she’ll hear her skin thicken into
wounds
and then into ash.
How many arguments does she need to swallow
before she will hear the sound of her own voice
telling her to fight?
How many breaths does she have to hold
for her to realize
there’s no air there,
and there will never be?

But I won’t stop,
I know one day she’ll look at me
with her eyes, pure,
like of a child’s
free from all the deaths she had suffered and
with her scarred hands
she’ll meet mine,
touching the glass between us.

*(a note to self)
******* tired
330 · Dec 2014
crushed
jacky Dec 2014
you are every thought i have
drunk ones, and even the ones i utter in my sleep
yet, there you are
unaware of my existence
dare
329 · Dec 2013
The look of love
jacky Dec 2013
The look of Love
that one I've never seen
opened the day up
came down to me
saying
**“You will someday
own the one
who owns you.”
staying hopeful
318 · Dec 2014
my addiction
jacky Dec 2014
You are an addiction,
a bit funny kind of addiction.

Not that type of lingering smoke
by the pack of cigarettes or
the high of a single hit

Not that type of an opiated mind
of maze-like thoughts
discarded cans of buzzing minds

I will try and try to verbalize these thoughts
but I'm a coward
so I keep them inside the confines of my head

So I tell no one, i am eaten by these
by this one thought
this kind of funny addiction

when times are good, I wait
for it to knock on my doors
windows, basement opening

from everywhere. And it wins
like a God, I am nothing.
Too bad, this isn't God.

The secret, this addiction
the rush of blood out my veins
I try not to let it win

but from the start it already won,
my thoughts are its *****, on my wrists
stamping each of them with a label

"die"
not in a good place right now, not at all
314 · Dec 2014
four lines
jacky Dec 2014
I wish I could know
what I have lost
so I will know
what to look for
314 · Dec 2013
On that second -
jacky Dec 2013
On that second
the tip of your finger
touched my skin,
for a brief moment
angels flew,
paralyzing me
taking my breath –
taking everything away.
I dreamt of this poem, when I woke up I wrote it right away so the feeling would be fresh, and alive.

I am amazed on how these few words reflect how I feel.
308 · Jul 2014
blocked
jacky Jul 2014
She can’t write.
like the tip of her pen is
imprisoned  just inches on that
white sheet drenched with nothingness.

She can’t write.
as if she began to freeze
when she is under
the line where it cuts the globe into half.

She can’t write.
like the words were nowhere near her,
and they ran faster and farther from her.

She can’t write.
as if her words was playing with her
a game of hide-and-seek, and she was it.

And still, she can’t force the words out
like note stuck in a rusty abandoned piano keys.
Restless, she remains hidden in words she can’t find.
yeah this one's a bit 'eh' as my editor said. lol

(writer's block)
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