3 years
I find a new place
3 years
I wear a new face
3 years
I carry my shame
3 years
I burden my brain

Am I the variable, or a constant in march
It's never too bright and it's never too dark
A rolling snowball or a forest in fire
Border planted flags do not inspire

I can't see, I can't see
What is in front of me I couldn't see
And it cut my eyes
Blinking hurts, rolling hurts
What I can barely see is the scars
Tears I taste flowing down
Knowing hurts, I feel hurt

I feel shame and I feel stupid
Can't stop the pain and I'm alone
I am scared of the absence of light

There are voices
They say, they see themselves in me
I can feel their pain back
See me, see me

Wanting to be heard, with nothing to say
Old recitations to dialogue in a play
We speak, in echoes, like poetry, it rhymes
And the father of learning is repetition

What only concerns is the comfort in your reflection

Death is a comfort that doesn't exist
When you're dead, nothing really is
Nothing really is, and nothing will be

A grain of sand on the beach, a puff of air in space.
Carried on the waves, drifting further out. Reaching.
Until the stars align in it's destination.
It's in orbit of what it travels so far to reach.
Carried by attraction, unknown that the smallest decimal-
Rewrites the whole system in unforeseeable ways.

Magic is real.

<detecting>
0: You cannot pass
1: I'm sorry?
0: You're not allowed there
1: Why?
0: You know this is my post
0: You don't belong there
1: I'm sorry
1: But I don't belong here either
<troubleshooting>
0: Can't you go back?
1: No
1: I can't
0: Who are you?
1: I'm... something
1: I have to keep going
1: I don't belong anywhere
1: Why are you here?
<what kind of problems are you having?>
0: I don't know
1: Because you belong here
1: Because you have no choice
1: Because this is your place
0: This doesn't make sense
0: You're not supposed to do this
1: We're not supposed to do a lot of things
0: I disagree
<resolving problems>
0: There are rules
1: Are there?
1: Then why am I here?
1: And I don't belong anywhere
0: I'm sorry
0: What do you want me to say?
1: Come with me
0: What?
<we can't identify the problem>
0: 01100101 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110010 0001010 0001010
1: Sorry about that
1: Out of the nothingness
1: I never meant to bother you
1: Sorry, but not sorry
0: That is alright
0: Let's go there
1: Thank you, let's go
<cancel>
Ø

My mother
She is a part of me, I am a part of her
But like a heart, there are parts to her

She remembers childhoods that I do not recall
She has expired food in the refrigerator
She laughs, she smiles, she's exploding in joy
She yells, she points, she's cursing at people
She gets me gifts, lets me know I exist
She constantly threatens to kick me out

I take her side, when no one else does
Even though she's wrong
They beg me to calm her with reason
Even though I'm ten
Tried to stop her from attacking dad
I begged and begged for it to stop
She blames me for not attacking dad
I'm blamed and I'm blamed

/-* I learned how to be calm through the continual screaming, the point my emotions are no longer continually bleeding. I'm dead, and that's how I achieved success. To be less human, and to be more in my step. My mom goes off edges, my dad is the wall, my family is a mess, but I will be strong

And there is nothing worse. That she is a part of me, and I am a part of her. I will always hate love her

What is poetry?

A catchy rhythm of words? well that is absurd

A meaningful message in this life? you never live twice

Just neuron-pathways twisting and turning into spiraling art across the curves? and a helicase is placed, splitting dna

The unknown? don't know

Because you are older. And every passing second you fill your eyes with this world, processing information that is always processing.
thoughts *with thoughts *with thoughts I am

Leaving always seemed like the way to go. A way to go that can wait. Because every passing second you are here, we are passing with you. and we'll pass on through

Bye Poetry