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 Apr 2018 woolgather
Mims
I look a little bit like a drug addict
(Old hoodie, bags under my eyes)
In a days mascara,
And last night messy bun.
My hands are shaking,
But not from drugs.

All black is normal,
Less then semi formal,
I guess you could say my out matches my in today.
Whatever at least I'm not depressed
 Apr 2018 woolgather
Mims
Writing love poems to no one,
Is like making cookies for yourself,
Its still enjoyable
Even if you do it alone.
Anyone want some cookies?
 Apr 2018 woolgather
Mims
Dear oxygen,
I've found i do my best writing at 4am
Welcome back,
I missed you,
And when you graced my lungs,
You swept over the flickering flames,
That licked at my throat,
You threatened the knives,
In my chest,
Until they left,
You blew through,
The tears,
All my fears,
Have been shattered by my lady oxygen,
So have my body once again,
And leave me beautiful,
Not broken.
You scared me
 Apr 2018 woolgather
Mims
how do you know she's a poetess?
she'll mess with your brain just for inspiration.
just in case you were confused.
don't get cocky
you're not special
not the way he is.
 Apr 2018 woolgather
Mims
Love,
They say,
It will fix all of your problems,
All your broken,
All your pain,
Love,
Will take that all away,
All I can honestly say to that,
Is how can you put that kind of pressure on someone?

heal me
fix me
save me

Because "you're all I have"
Or "I'm lost without you"
Love,
Will fix everything wrong with me
Don't care if it makes everything wrong with you.

Someone told me,
That love,
Is a lie,
And that we only think we need it,
Because everyone tells us we do,
And we do,
But not from her,
And definitely not from you,
We need love
Because society convinces young girls,
That it will fix everything
And it will.
But its not the kind of love
That is taking over 13 year old girls,
The love,
From another human being
Isn't what's gonna fix you,
you have to,
Because yes,
Love will fix everything,
If you love you.

And believe me,
This is something that I wish I knew long ago,
Because I went so long,
Hating myself,
And wanting love from someone else,
When all the healing I needed to do,
Was inside of me,
When I figured out,
That love for yourself is beautiful,
It makes everything clearer,
Everything,
Makes sense,
My love,
Your love,
Is what'll fix you,
That's not something I can do.
Said love so much, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore
 Apr 2018 woolgather
Mims
I asked you what it was like,
And if you think it's love,
Nothing you said made sense to me,
So it probably was.
I will listen to your fairy tales,
And never understand a word you say,
The only thing I know, with certainty,
Is it's beautiful.
 Apr 2018 woolgather
Mims
"You're really good at poetry!"

*"ha, I'm good at romanticizing toxic situations"
Don't know if that's good or bad
But thank you anyways
 Apr 2018 woolgather
Mims
When we're in the car
After we had an argument
And I know he's stressed
When he doesn't understand why our sister is on medication
Or why somedays I don't get out of bed
Or why we're back in court
Or why our parents are divorced
Or why my mother cries
Or why sometimes I have to parent him
Take care of him


Sometimes
On quiet nights
I hold my brothers hand
Because when I was young
I would've done anything
For anyone to tell me anything was okay
That I wasn't going crazy
That sometimes people just hurt
Sometimes I hold my brothers hand
Because when I was young
I would've done anything

For someone to hold mine
Because I know how it feels

He will not go through what I went through
He will not be raised like me
 Apr 2018 woolgather
Mims
I will not rest until the trees outside my windows do
Their sway
I wonder what makes them so unsteady...
But it isn't really my window
Or my house
Or my bed
Just like how
This night does not belong to me
Kinda like my own head
I give away parts of me
That I refuse to need
Like love
Or dreams
I push ******* to my Lips
Inhale and then exhale
Pretending I have a cigarette balanced between them
I love the taste of cigarettes even though I know they are killing machines
I love you
Fiercely
When I know **** well
You could end me
It's like that song I heard once
Alone
But I felt less lonely after I heard it
For some reason
Ghosts haunt me
You could call obsession
Infidelity
You could call dreams
Unfaithful

You should've called me.

Then you wouldn't have to worry about my stupid lonely
You could know
That only you sit on my brains
'Wish list'
Only you fester in my belly
If you knew
About all the people I have broken to make myself appear a little more whole
Or how much growing up I did in a year
Or that January
Or that June
If only you knew
About my crazy
The kind that only makes sense to some people
But still doesn't make sense to you...
No
I will not rest until the trees do.
*desperately* not passionately
 Apr 2018 woolgather
Mims
I cringe at the things I have said to try and get you to tell me directly
Angry at the lack of honesty
Honestly
I liked the lies better
They were so much easier
When we lied we were on the same level
Only the truth brings one of us ahead
And we have both been losing for what feels like forever
So I just learned to be okay with it
I grew sick of trying to change it
So I stopped trying to change it
And I let it
Die out
Slowly
Making it
Easy
Neither of us were ever good at keeping promises
And we both knew that
We both knew how this would end
So why
Why did I try it again
Why
Do i let you in
Why
Do I let you put your arms around me
And whisper things into my ear
I would not soon repeat to anyone
Why do I know in the back of my mind
That your arms do not mean safety
But you put them so securely around me
It made me
Want to believe that they did

So I let you kiss me
And I let myself regret it
And I promised myself I wouldn't do it again


And then I did it again.
this is why we can't have nice things
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