Before things turned to downfall and downcast,
Everything seemed so good to be true,
The days we cherished together,
Will never be mentioned nowadays,
Oh, take me back to the night we met.
Where a peaceful cast shadowed over us two,
When your soul was once mended whole with mine,
When we were unhurt and satisfied.
I crave the presence of our younger years; nostalgia appears.
The recollection of your smile remains,
The laughter, the whispers, take me back to the day we said our first hellos.
Walking side by side one another,
Discovering new facts about ourselves never deemed detectable,
I had most of you, unfortunately now, I have almost none of you.
Things change,
Time passes,
And we will never get back what we wanted ever again.

Another day, another moment passed,
It feels like time has taken away the connection between me and everyone else,
I feel what it’s like to be disconnected from those closest to you and distance from those I never once doubted to be next to me for the worst of times.
I have no one to call when trouble starts,
I lost the closest people to me, due to my pride and self worth,
Giving up those who were deemed trustworthy because I actually thought, contemplated and realized that loving myself is all that’s worth.
Told myself never again,
Reaching out to the voices in my head,
Everything is just scrambled now,
Situations and certain things can grow to ruins in a matter of a couple seconds.
Time has effortlessly proved to me the true colors that reside underneath the personalities of people, associates,
Even family members, those never underestimated can still indicate actions of opposition,
I was shown that at a young age and even now; a connection, yet a reflection.

Seeking love in those who have never really experienced it, will be heartbreaking they say.
Yet, the sense of words they reason all make sense, indeed.
I’ve just haven’t caught a glimpse of reality,
Instead, I remain oblivious to the consequences I know I’ll face,
The challenges, obstacles, and struggles,
They can’t possibly “hurt” you in any sort of way, they exclaim.
- I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be,
It lifted me upon my feet and aimed a light on my head that all these men, most certainly aren’t for me.

Leaving or distancing was never a problem,
Nobody really knows how my life goes and I’m proud of it to be honest.
I’ve been feeling really careless lately,
People keep spreading things that are wrong,
It gets me upset and somehow I always get impacted from it.
It’s like I shut down,
Friends or not,
I take certain things to heart.
Whether you meant it in a nice or bad way,
I’ve just not been thinking right quite frankly,
Pressures on to do well and succeed,
But what’s the point of trying if no one’s ever going to see?
Yeah that’s my scattered mindset,
Having faith for adversities to fade away,
But they never do,
Yeah I’m dealing with things I don’t really want to,
But I guess I got to put up with it.
Cope mechanism is shutting down, placing people as far as possible,
Not really expressing my feelings toward the stuff that terribly effect me,
And yet, I still pretend like it’s okay,
I’ll smile in your face,
Make you think I’m doing all fine without another .
My feelings are just way too strong,
I can’t help from liking you,
However, I never meant to make things the way they currently are,
Mentions are getting spurred rapidly,
Those sayings were never stated directly,
We didn’t even get to discuss our predictament.
But, these things tend to get disregarded,
You leave me,
Feeling this sort of way,
Then, try to come back.
I’m tired of putting up,
I’m all in my head

I feel a tear drop on my hand, next to yours.
I'm sorry for what you feel, wish I could heal your pain.
At first, I didn't experience any sadness, nor thoughts came to mind, but then I realized,
Something had not been right all this time,
Something felt off, like you've changed.
I guess overthinking gets you out your head,
Cause' my memory was shot out of my mind when you told me she's dead.
Looking into your eyes from afar, they got all teary and filled.
My heart fell out my chest, prayers laced in my brain,
My arms were drawn low to the ground, legs tied in a knot.
I knew that you were feeling some sort of way,
and I apologize for all the change,
Everything will heal in time, it's all going to be okay I say for constant reassurance,
But, you covered your face,
Cried endlessly, tears splattered on the sleeves of your arms,
Holding your head tightly and gradually bringing it down,
Moving your body from side to side.
Through the blurry vision of mine, I let out a loud sigh.
There's a lump in my throat that I cannot control and out the corners of my eyes, I noticed your glare.
I'll leave you be my fellow friend, just know
I felt your hurt too when you expressed every detail that slipped from your mouth.
It's all going to become better now, do well son I pronounce and take care of yourself.
Do it for the family, do it for me,
Allow every moment to last greatly.

Real words, real thoughts, real references,
What I mention is the truth,
Never to be left questioned or misinterpreted.
The form of performance;
Proper and critique,
I'm forced to sit upright; think straight,
Play pretend with my so called "friends"; act like the person I am.
Disclosed and cold,
Isolated, yet engaged,
A person who unremarkably achieves just anything.
I'm one of the ordinary, but self-expression is considered extraordinary.

I'm not what you wanted,
Not what you need,
And I guess I could carry on and say it's okay,
But in reality, I keep drifting away.
You're tearing me apart,
Ripping my skin from the inside out;
I'm still stuck on an excuse to compensate for lost time.
I always knew you were never meant for me,
Maybe fate guided us, but your intentions were made clear otherwise.
I wasn't prepared for a route to shift and create an unexpected turn,
I just wanted someone to stick by my side, to remain loyal and wholesome,
But I guess that was far too much to ask for.
Given our current circumstance,
I probably should've never expressed myself to you,
Too blind to even consider the sight of unpredictability;
The fact that anything can go any other way at any given moment.
I made myself see what I so desperately craved in another; love
Now that I think of it,
I should've never doubted my gut when it indicated that my ends couldn't tie to yours.