even the greatest fall weak sometimes,
sometimes, people forget to realize,
maybe those certain things didn't occur because they simply weren't made to happen,
Or at least that's what we've obtained periodically.
Thinking and trusting that things just happen for a reason,
Can't possibly compensate or supplant for a lucid explanation as to why situations maintain escalation.
Still wondering why?
Well, I too ponder sometimes.
Even to a fulfilled extent,
It's merely another attempt to feel something yet again.
No reminders or play back buttons to reverse or change time,
Sometimes, we all forget how to embrace the superficial reality of facing the feeling of what it truly makes us feel alive.

Repetition after repetition,
I'm exhausted over the inconsistent text messages you continue sending,
I'm just confused about everything, your lies are making things unclear,
Sometimes I wonder if I don't try, will you still appear?
Not on my mentions, but on your mind,
Will a thought still be drawn to you in the same moment of time?

What you give me is what I receive,
The feelings overloading and essentially controlling me are forcing the inner version of myself to ignore thee,
Block off anyone who interferes with my life in the smallest of ways.
Stress is enough,
I can no longer think straight.
Consistently titling to both ends of our path,
I thought the starting would lead us somewhere beyond the fan stays of great,
But I was kicked and left in the dust with the others,
The prophecy unveiled itself,
I was right since the beginning, but my witless gut remained oblivious to my emotionally unstable self and instead stayed behind with the real you.
I grew attached to you, thinking everything for once would finally accumulate into one enjoyable entirety,
But you shattered me both internally and externally,
Now all I can focus on is how to fix these pieces back together.
Before I loose touch upon myself once more,
I ask anyone for forgiveness, begging on my knees for all to please.
I wish to give the little portion of my purity and happiness to you, now, am I considered the wrong and careless one?
Or are you, the heartless form of me?

The feelings of uncertainty are consuming me,
With no clue left of what to do,
My common sense lacks originality,
I lose my mentality as well as my responsibilities.
Everyone counting on me,
Don't make a mistake they all say,
If you choose to proceed on the opposite path then you'll be nothing but a mistake, they all claim.
With nothing left to do,
My mind goes to this dark place, inevitably sways,
And now all I can do is look back at all I've done wrong.

It's a good thing,
To speak, to ramble, to be able to elaborate on such simple topics.
People may look at you with these glaring senses of abnormality or a measurement level of discomfort,
The truth is, they aspire to be you in such a different way that blows their mind whenever coming across someone as unique as you,
With words left unsaid,
They all slowly begin to turn heads,
You feel this minor intensity, agony divulging, extreme anxiety on the inside,
But your face shows otherwise.
You smile, creating an elated atmosphere,
But the internal feeling inside is progressively growing.
Those constant taps of your left foot are causing too many eyes to be drawn to it.
"Stop, relax. Take a step back,
Just feeling something else, else," is what you solemnly preach aloud to yourself.
Now, the audience's tension in eye contact are more than just overwhelming,
It's ripping the nails off your fingertips,
Making you want to burn every bit of your heart along with this building you're stuck in.
When your feelings emerge and intersect in a negative tense,
You don't come to a halt,
You allow your body to experience any feeling possible;
Your indifference represents the other version of yourself,
one in particular that may be unveiled or underestimated by the several dissimilar aspects nobody really shows.

The place where the atmosphere consists of main outbreaks,
Whether the dishes weren't done or the floors weren't mopped correctly,
Something so small can effect the gross unification of "family".
Feeling like you can't necessarily express yourself,
Leaves you to feel drowned out by the many emotions that flood your mind at the worst of times,
It allows your feelings to grow more and more profoundly erratic; anxious.
Allow me to go into full elaboration as to how I constantly maintain my well-respected position of a so called "good person" or complain about the many people who are just as careless as the majority of people nowadays who simply do not ask how I've been.
I've let days slip by,
Suddenly, I feel no difference in what occurred yesterday or really, no contrast in the feelings I'll most likely encounter tomorrow.
At home, mass mental destructions happens,
It's where I get pulled into a place where I'm just trapped in my own self, similar to the way I feel in school.
I don't know, it could possibly be causing my continuous feelings of nervousness whenever I'm surrounded by people,
Or it could merely be the fact of which, I haven't yet chosen a path or seen quite a way to go through and feel a protective environment around me.
These winter days are gradually approaching,
It's only a matter of time until my mind goes away like the sun at night,
These seconds, minutes, hours can patrol for what feels like perennial timings, but anticipation is what's really foreshadowing my shallow whole of a "home".

All I can recall from my hectic childhood was a very early memory that played in my mind like a dilapidated recording tape,
Scenes flashed before my eyes, capturing my imagination as an entirety,
Lights passed by so quickly, I couldn't even keep track of what I was picturing.
It was as if a small portion of myself separated and I was tremendously taken into a dreamlike dimension,
This frightening cycle of not being able to differentiate between actuality and fantasy grew overwhelmingly rapid like the constant flood of blood running through my veins;
My attempt to wake you was so regrettably disregarded,
So control took the lead role over my body and simultaneously woke me from my hasty rest.