It seems like no matter what I do,
There’s never enough time.
There’s never enough time with the people I love.
Never enough time to drive around at 2am with my brother listening to music and talking about life.
Never enough time to sit at the dining room table with my mom and listen to her stories and dreams.
Never enough time to share a cigarette on the front porch with my dad while listening to the frogs and crickets make night music.
There’s never enough time to sit with my sister on her bed and talk about boys and where we’ll be in 5 years.
Never enough time to be in my lovers arms, wrapped up safe and warm.

I look back on who and what I’ve lost, and even if I can see missed opportunities, there still wouldn’t have been enough time.
Every hour, every minute, every second slips by so quickly and easily.
I try my hardest to make the most of every second,
But I still feel a longing in my heart that I know won’t be satisfied.
I’ve come to find that this longing isn’t regret,
But rather an intense love.
Pieces of my heart live in those I love, and the depth of that love makes it nearly impossible to fill with any amount of time spent with that person.
There will never be enough time to satisfy my heart.
But there will always be this deep love that  is given by me and carried around by the people I care about.
I feel this love at the core of my being,
And I’m coming to terms with the fact that there will never be enough time to sit in and share the full breadth and width of it.
But I can still feel it.
I can still hold my lover tight and feel the passion being shared between us.
I can still share conversations that change the course of my life and perspective with my family.
I have more than enough love to share, and I hope I get enough time.

m.h.

It’s crazy how “home” changes as you grow older.

When I was a kid, home was the place where I spent my days with my brother and sister.
My parents were there.
My dogs were there.
I had never known any other place where I could rest my head every night.

When I graduated from high school, home changed.
I moved to the city and slept there every night instead.
Home was my dorm with my friends and a view of the skyscrapers.
But it didn’t feel like home,
At least not all the way.
The people I had spent my entire life with weren’t there with me.
My heart was spread across two cities.

When I left the dorms I moved into a townhouse in the park and that was home for a while.
My new friends were there.
That house hosted so many parties, movie nights, and therapy sessions with my roommates.
We filled that home with love, good food, and memories.

Once I graduated I moved back in with my parents.
Technically I was “home”, but it didn’t feel like it used to.
My life that I had built was in another city with different people.

After awhile I got an apartment with a friend from college.
And that place feels like my home.
It’s only shared with one other person, not my whole family,
Or 3 other roommates and a dog.
It’s a space that I can make entirely my own.

Then I met you.
Your home is the town beside my parents town.
It makes me wonder, where is my home?
What is home?
Because you feel like home to me too.
A place where I know I’m safe and loved.
A place where I can be my true self.
A place where I’m comfortable and can rest.

I’ve always heard that home isn’t a place, but the people who make you feel like you’re at home.
And if that’s true, I have homes in 4 cities.
It’s filling and draining to have your heart spread across the land.
The people you call home all in different places.
It’s a strange feeling, but I know it’s also part of growing up.
When I was a kid I associated home with a place that had all your things, all your family, and everything centralized.
I’ve come to feel that home isn’t the place where I live for now,
but the people that I do life with and love with all my being.

m.h.

There’s nothing better for these lonely nights
Than smoking a cigarette on the front porch.
I used to say that I’d never smoke,
But that was before everything happened.

That was before my heart was shattered by two lovers within the span of 6 months.
That was before I lost my aunt so unexpectedly and violently.
That was before I watched my brother brush with death
On the floor of this very porch.
That was before I held my 16 year old dog in my arms as she died in my front yard.
That was before a global pandemic turned everyone’s worlds and plans upside down.

I sit here and as I take a drag of this cigarette I can’t help but relate.
With each pull I’m getting closer and closer to being nothing.
When things are good, it’s like the nicotine buzz you get after not smoking all day.
But in between the buzzes, I’m reminded of the emptiness that somehow coexists with the heaviness in my heart.

I used to say I’d never smoke, but things change.
People change.
I’ve changed.
I’m still figuring out if it’s for the better.

m.h.

I gave you my heart.
And what did you give me in return?
You had my attention, affection, admiration,
And my love.
That last one is the hardest to get out of me.
But somehow, I opened my heart up to you.
I loved again and I’m still surprised by that.
You see, I had my heart broken not long before you came around.
I knew you were special, but I thought, “there’s no way I can fully love again. At least not for a long time.”
But I was wrong.
Love grew wild and free from a place where hurt once was.
Love for you.
But you know that saying, “all good things come to an end”.
I really wish that wasn’t true.

We were a good thing,
But I don’t think we were the right thing.
Even still, my heart hurts in the place where you didn’t harvest my love and cherish it like a bouquet of fresh cut flowers.
You saw it, and knew you couldn’t give it back to me.
And what did I get in return for a heart of love not embraced?
I’m still walking around my fields, looking at all the flowers that bloomed for you and wondering, “what will happen to these”?
What will happen to this beautiful and fragile love that lays unharvested?

At this point, I don’t know.
All I can do is marvel at the fact that love grew again in the first place.
I’m still waiting to see what I will get in return for the love you left in me.

m.h.

I am doing my best to do this the right way.
I’m doing my best to respect the process
And follow every step,
But you make it so hard.
The way you look at me after we kiss,
The way you rest your hand on my thigh
When we’re on the couch watching TV,
The way your eyes light up with joy at my silly jokes,
Make it so hard.
You make it hard to not skip every step in between me and you.
As much as I want to take that leap,
There is still the part of me that knows that the things worth having most are worth waiting for.
There have been times in my life where I jumped the gun and things turned out okay,
But I want so much more than just okay when it comes to me and you.
So I’m willing to be patient.
I’m willing to wait and watch love grow from a place where hurt once was.
I’m willing to pause and enjoy every moment rather than always anticipate the next one.
I’m willing to see this as an opportunity to practice patience, because I know
You will be worth it.

m.h.

I could never have imagined all we would endure in our futures
When we wrote backstories for our Barbie dolls.
We spent hours naming them, assigning them a family,
defining their past and who they were.
We were the gods of their identities.

I always remember that we made them into the women we wanted to be.
Strong, beautiful, and smart with loving families and a passion in their hearts.
Our Barbies were astronauts and school bus drivers and stay-at-home moms.
Now looking back I can see that we grew from those playroom dreams
Into women with strength to define our stories.
We found beauty in who we are and what we do.
We managed to keep our smarts, even through all our mistakes.
Our passions are opposite but still strong enough to lead us forward.
If only our Barbies could see us now,
Growing into who we were made to be despite what has happened to us.
It’s amazing how someone can be your childhood
And your future, all in one.

I will always cherish the things we share that you can only have with a sister.
Yelling at each other when the other one “borrows” your favorite outfit.
Cheering for one as she performs on a stage
And feeling the pride take your heart to the brink of bursting.
The primal instinct to protect and love and guide lives in my heart
And it is never afraid to show its face and stretch out its arms,
To do anything
for my sister.

m.h.

I’ve experienced my deepest pain
And greatest breakthroughs
On a yellow couch.
The window in the room has a perfect view of an oak tree
That I’ve watched slowly change from green to orange leaves.
My eyes have traveled across the same painting of the ocean
For hours as words and tears spill out of me
Like a tangled up *** of yarn.
I’ve been holding on to it for so long
Not knowing how to handle the continuous string,
but I’m lucky to have someone to grab my jumbled thoughts
And untangle them with me.
For the longest time I was proud of the mess I managed inside
And thought I was capable of untangling it myself.
What I’ve learned is that I am capable.
Not because I have it all figured out,
But because I have the strength to admit that I don’t.
The longer I live the more I see that I can’t carry
Everything that has happened to me by myself.
And that’s okay.
Everytime I sit down, I remember the first time I sat here
And the slow but steady progress that followed
Each time I’ve met this room.
The inside of my mind would look so different
If I hadn’t pushed myself
To sit on that yellow couch.

m.h.

Your mind is a galaxy.
All I know is that one day I was pacing Earth,
And the next I was preparing for takeoff.
I had been long awaiting this trip,
Ready to explore the space of you.
I couldn’t have prepared myself
for all I would see.

Supernovas exploding,
like your heartbeat when our lips touch.
Black holes
absorbing my insecurities and doubts.
Constellations of your past:
the house you grew up in, your first car, the night we met.
Binary stars of all our memories,
all the moments your soul and mine spent together.
There was no way my eyes could absorb the entirety of your galaxy.
All of the colors and light like fireworks,
completely overwhelming, but so beautiful.
You kick yourself for even blinking because you don’t want to miss a moment.

That’s how I feel every day with you.
The deeper I travel into the space that is you,
The more I see why you were hesitant to let me in.
The darkness here can be overwhelming,
But the brightness of the stars that reside keep me wanting more.
Your heart and mind are made up of the north stars and nebulas that made me fall in love.
So I don’t care how dark it gets,
As long as you let me,
I want to keep going,
And I don’t want to miss a moment of your galaxy.

m.h.

Let us take this time,
This forced but necessary stillness,
To reconnect.
With our family, our friends, and our selves.
Our schedules are being wiped clear.
Let’s embrace it.
Don’t fear the empty space,
Fill it with what can’t be cancelled.
These times are scary,
But across the globe we are all
Walking the same uncharted path.
There is peace to be found in the solidarity.
There is love and grace to extend
To those who are isolated or hurting.
Our every day lives as we know them are a world away,
But even in this time there is good to be found.

m.h.

I remember that day I was driving down the interstate
On the way to my hometown after a week of huge transitions.
Life was shifting in all ways all around me, and I needed to go home to get some stability.

It was 1 in the afternoon, but it looked like dusk
Because of the thick blanket of clouds covering the sky.
Rain began pelting my windshield so hard, it’s a wonder it didn’t break.
The sheer amount of water splashing started to blur the road and cars in front of me,
And the sound of rain drops cannon balling on the roof of my car was deafening.
I look in front of me, and I can barely tell the difference between what is road and what is rain.

But then I quickly glance out my window,
And I don’t know how,
But I can see what is going on beside me as clear as day.
I still see the rain, but it hasn’t blurred the picture of the moment of cars going the other way

I think about this a lot.
And how driving in the rain is a lot like life moving forward.

When diving headfirst into your unknown, it’s scary and you can barely see what lies ahead.
You look at others around you and can see their path so clear, and you wonder why yours doesn’t look like that.
But what you have to remember is that they are not going the same way as you.
If I looked out of the passenger side window, I would see others going the same way that I am.
None of us can see what waits on the other side of this storm,
But still, we move ahead
Because that is the only thing to do.

m.h.

1/10/2020

Today I sat on the porch
And I witnessed the start of the rain
There was lightning,
A thunderclap,
And then almost instantly,
The rain
One moment the air was still
The next, it was charged and began pouring
If I had blinked, I would have missed the start
We always look out the window,
And notice if it's cloudy or sunny or raining
But we rarely catch the moment it starts
The moment where the earth transitions
How beautiful is it that we live on a planet that can change so rapidly in an instant

m.h.

I scan my boarding pass and begin the turtles pace
Down the tunnel to what looks like a big white metal bird that will take me back home.
I cross over the gap between the walkway and the plane
Where I can see the ground that feels like it’s miles beneath me.
The jump over the tiny valley always was the perfect mixture of scary and exhilaration,
Stepping into this powerful machine.
I press my hand on the cold metal as an encouragement to myself and the bird,
And I can feel its heartbeat.
It isn’t like mine, a rhythmic thump,
But rather a humming,
A continuous vibration.
I sit down in the seat that is just uncomfortable enough to make me keep
Readjusting every 5 minutes,
But I don’t care, I’m just ready to meet the clouds again.
I always loved flying,
That feeling when you get so high up in the air that your reality seems so far away.
For that couple hours, you get to physically escape your life.
But unfortunately, even miles off the ground you still can’t escape your thoughts.
I’ve always loved flying,
Being up in the clouds makes me feel closer to God.
It seems like He is right there,
Whipping up the clouds like cotton candy like heaven is a circus.
I always loved flying,
The magic of traveling so high and fast to your destination.
I hope I never lose the wonder of being in flight.

m.h.

I look outside my window
As the morning light shines
on fresh green leaves.
I shut the front door to my house
and feel the crisp spring air refresh my skin.
I walk past the rose bush beside my porch
and see tiny red buds beginning to grow.
Looking at the branches I can’t help but wish we were like them,
Together in one place.

You look outside your window
As the snow covers your world in white.
You leave your apartment
With two pairs of socks on
To keep your feet warm.
As you walk towards your car,
you hear the snow crunch and the light it reflects almost blinds you.
You wonder what it would be like to hear my footsteps
Break the ice right beside yours.

We’re 712 miles away
But feel a world apart.
Your heart is so far away from mine,
Our worlds polar opposites.
But soon my roots will be dug up
And where will I grow next?
Will I stay with the rosebuds and watch them grow,
Or intertwine my gloved hands with yours when we leave for work in the morning?

What will it be like when we go from 712 miles to 0?


m.h.

I sit in the red rocking chair on the front porch
Back and forth
Rocking and feeling the wind move across my skin
I look out at the trees and the pond
Tinged with gold as the sun sets
I hear the windchimes
And the sound almost brings me to tears
For the moment is so beautiful
This is how it is supposed to be

I sit in the red rocking chair on the front porch
Back and forth
Rocking and feeling the wind move across my skin
I look over at my dad
Eyes sunken and body smaller than ever
I look over at my mom
Her heart pain spilling out of her eyes
I hear the windchimes
A beautiful sound that I wish would stop
For this moment isn’t beautiful

I hear the windchimes but the beauty is lost on me
All I can think about is how badly I wish I was living in a beautiful moment
Instead of this one
But that’s the thing: beauty exists regardless
The windchimes make beautiful music on a sunny day and during a storm
They don’t care what’s going on, they do what they were made to do
It’s up to me to hear them out

m.h.

I look at you
And my heart fills
It aches and wants for more
More of your smile
Your laugh
The way your arms hold me tight
My heart wants the distance between
Mine and yours to close
Draw me close
And bring them together
The tighter we embrace
The closer our hearts are
And I cant think of a more
Beautiful image
Than of our hearts being together again

m.h.

Have you ever felt that love
So big
That it’s everything?
So big
That you can’t put it into words?
Every time you try it falls so short of encompassing what you feel
It’s hard to wrap your mind and heart around the idea of what everything is
Because everything is the ocean
And dogs and plates and buildings and people who love you and people who hurt you
Everything is everything
And I can’t begin to quantify everything
Let alone describe it in its entirety
I couldn’t accurately capture the vastness of the night sky with the words I have
I couldn’t describe everything I see in one day
Even a 5 minute walk down the street would take hours to tell every aspect of the world that exists in that little frame of time
Everything is everything
And how I wish I had words to capture the pure beauty of it
The beauty of what exists and how it all works together
And that’s the exact way that I feel about our love
It’s everything

m.h.

You must stay
This
Far
Back
From the attraction
This far back
From what’s happening
Look all you want, just make sure you stay
This
Far
Back
I’ve got this circle
That I know is safe
I can look all I want too
But I have to keep you
This
Far
Back
For the safety of my own heart
And yours
Arms length is close enough
Until I realize
That maybe
Just maybe
You’re worth
Coming
This
Close
And I don’t want an arms length
Between your heart and mine
Distance keeps me safe
But for once I want to be in danger
And I want to
Be
Even
Closer

m.h.

I want to find myself
But I don't know what there is to be found
I don't know what's missing from me
I know what I like and don't like
I know what I'm passionate about
I want to find myself
But I don't know where to even begin

m.h.

Over and over
I have felt the love that sets a heart free
Over and over
I have felt the hurt that cripples
Over and over
I have built myself back up again
Over and over
I have tried to be optimistic
Over and over
I have given love one more shot, and then I'm done
For real this time

How many more times will I repeat this cycle?
Over and over until I die?
How many more times can I restore my heart?
Over and over until I run out of glue, cement, and paint?

All I want is to be done.

m.h.

I turn my eyes upward
To gaze at the vast sea of stars
So many that they outnumber me by millions and billions and trillions
I am overwhelmed  
And taken over by beauty
I am entranced by the twinkling
Of bursts of energy in the night sky
I am humbled
All these stars
All this space
Make my problems seem insignificant in the
grand scheme of the universe
But then I remember
That I am a part of the universe
Albeit a minuscule role in an endless space
However, I am
Involved
Nonetheless

m.h.

I still believe in love
But I don't believe love lasts
I still believe in promises
But I don't put any faith into them
I still believe that everyone has a soulmate
But I fear that there are too many people for me to find my own

I still believe in love
I believe it lasts if work is put in by both lovers
I still believe in promises
If they come from a place of genuine care and honesty
I still believe that everyone has a soul mate
And I hope mine is preparing for me

m.h.

I always cherished 11:11
Because it was a chance to wish for whatever I wanted.
Some days I would wish for new things,
Some days I would wish for a new life,
Some days I would wish that something would go right.
Whether my wish was fulfilled or not, I cannot remember.
But, what I do recall is that
There was magic in those numbers.
There was hope.
I would wish and wish everyday at the same time, hoping that one day my wish would come true.
And with you, it did.

On one particular day when I was at a low, I wished that someone would come along who would make me happy and never leave me.
I wished that I could have someone In my life to be there for me
And love me
With all they have.
I wished for a person who would be their true self around me and someone I could be completely myself around.
I wished for someone to come into my life that I could love with all I could possibly give.
I wished for someone who would complete me.
I wished for you.
I didn't know it was you in particular at the time, but I spoke my wish into existence and then you appeared shortly after.

Maybe we don't have to wish for Things at a certain time in the day.
Maybe we just have to speak what we wish for out loud for the earth to hear, and then set something into motion to help it come true

You have always been what I wished for at 11:11, because all my life I have wished for love and happiness.
And you are my wish come true.

m.h.

All that I am is you.
All that I do is you.
You are in the air I breathe and in the beats of my heart.
You are in the rain that falls and the sun that warms my face.
You are the kind words spoken and beautiful words I read and write.
You are everything.
You are my everything.
All that I am is you.

m.h.

Oh, how I wish you could have been there.
For all the times before when I was alone and down on my luck.
For all the times I was on top of the world and in love with life itself.
I wish you could have been beside me to see all the beautiful things and places I have seen.
I wish you would have been there to hold my hand and comfort me when I needed someone.
I wish that I would have known you sooner.

But I look back on my life and its events, and all signs point to you.

Everything that has happened to me has lead me to you.
I look back on all the relationships that didn't work or friendships that fell through,
And all signs point to you.
You may not have been there for all the good and bad times, but I know that I will share the good and bad of the future with you.
All signs have guided me to you, and I didn't even know it.

m.h.

The over arching goals of a majority of the world's religions are to be a good person so you will be repaid in the afterlife.
And I can say that I've never had more drive to be a better person each day that I wake up until I fell in love with you.
You are everything I believe in.
You are what I want to commit to.
You are my religion.
You are my church, my place of peace and comfort.
You are my holy book, where I go to for guidance and you keep me on a straight path.
You are my congregation, you hold me up and support me when I need you, and also when I don't.
You are my religion, because you give me purpose.
You are my religion,
And I believe in us.

m.h.

When did I fall in love with you?
It's not a matter of "when" but rather "how".

I fell in love with the way headlights danced on your skin on the night drives home.
I fell in love with the way your smile set my world ablaze with light.
I fell in love with the way you held me close and kissed my cheeks ever so gently.
I fell in love with the way you looked at me at random times and smiled, then held my hand even tighter.
I fell in love with the way that I felt so safe wrapped in your arms.
I fell in love with the way you were open to me when all my past lovers had been closed off.
I fell in love with the way that my love for you made all my days bright and worth living.
I fell in love with the way that you were all I ever needed and wanted.
I fell in love with the way that everything was so easy and free
between us.
I fell in love with you, and to be truthful, I'm still falling.

m.h.

When you love something,
You risk your sanity
You lose your ability to reason with a sound mind
Love takes over and is unyielding when it comes to the head and heart.
The path of logic is a clear road with hardly any obstacles
The path of love is unknown to the outside eye
It's unpredictable in every way
You could go down that path and never make it to the other side
Is it worth, to pick love over logic?
You have to decide for yourself.
If you choose the path of logic,
You are almost guaranteed a safe and clear cut journey
But oh, what an adventure love is
If you choose the path of love, you could find your worst fear;
Experience the worst pain you've ever felt in your life
Or you could stumble upon everything you've ever wanted
Is it worth it?

        m.h.

I built walls higher each day,
And with each heartbreak, they climbed closer to the sky.
They're my protection and defense.
But if these walls could talk, they would sing.
The experiences and emotions contained in the square space are raw,
And there's no way you can block them out.
These walls absorb each and every thought and could sing songs of regret, intense love, anger, and hope.
As I've grown, so have these walls.
We intertwine, but we are independent from each other.
Without me, these walls would be ordinary,
But they have enough parts of me to stand on their own.

I look up to the sky above that my walls long to collide with,
For that's been their purpose all along.
These walls are strong and indestructible.
They know everything about me.
If you let them sing, they'll sing my song,
But maybe it's time that I take the opportunity to sing for myself.
These walls have held me up.
These walls have kept me safe.
But these walls have also deprived me of things that could have been. My walls are my comfort zone and the place where I have evolved.
I can't block everything out,
Then again, I can't let everything in.
My walls will stay up but this time,
I won't let them hold me in.

      m.h.

To become a writer, you must give yourself and all your thoughts away to the world.
Her inhabitants
Her beauty
Her vastness
When you become a writer,
the way you think changes
You see things that no one else is aware of (besides other writers)
Life becomes a game
It’s you against everything in the world
Some days, this isn’t a problem
Some days, it is
When you become a writer,
You must accept the fact that you’re different
Different from all those people living their lives in the dark
You see and are aware of the immense beauty and heart wrenching sadness the world has to offer you
When you become a writer, it’s your job to help people see things in a way they never have before
Show them the worst side of the world and terrify them
Or show them a light that always can be seen
You must be willing to sacrifice your peace and sanity to express thoughts that no one speaks about
Ridicule is inevitable, but it is ******* by the fact that some one out there will read your writing and be able to sympathize with it fully
What you write could change someone’s entire life
We all hold truths about the world, and as a writer you are the most inclined to share the truths you are aware of
You must offer them a different point of view, even if it’s just a span of a couple lines on a page.
If life is a plane, writers provide the passengers with a window seat



                                                      m.h.

Like a child dreaming of Christmas morning,
I am filled with anticipation upon your appearance.
I crave the thought of unwrapping you and discovering what I've always wanted.
I dream about treasuring you.
I can picture you perfectly like you are here with me.
I can feel the dawn drawing closer.
I can see our horizon making it's way across the sky.
Life has gifted you to me, and I am more than ready.

     m.h.

A clean slate
A sheet of pristine paper
A blank canvas
A book fresh off the press, starving for someone to crack its spine and begin
A new beginning

Life appears as one continuous storm of happiness and grief with no stopping point, but this isn't completely true.
We decide where our beginnings start and where an era of ourself ends.
At any point in time, you can start all over.
You just have to decide.
Tear everything down, and never look back.
Sometimes we forget how free we are.

       m.h.

Inside of every person is a ticking bomb
It doesn't make noise, but you can see its toll
Although the detonation time varies
Before it explodes, you're calm
There is no time to take a stroll
Last time to drop what you carry
Loving words fill the air
Regrets disappear
One final view
Empty chair
My dear,
Where are
You?  

m.h.

Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
A beating so timed and rhythmic that it's scary.
What the heart wants, the heart gets.
You can't fool it.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Never stopping.
A comfort, but also a threat.
It'll keep you alive, but consume and want as long as it still beats.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Feed it your hate, and it will wither.
Water it with lies, and it will blacken.
Sow negativity, and almost surely it will show through in your actions.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
But wait, there's hope.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Feed your passions and love affairs to the heart and it is content as long as you are.
Feed it your dreams, and it will set your path.
Feed it positivity, and you will see the effects all around you.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Are you aware of the life coursing through you?
Can you feel the energy you feed it influencing you?
I hope so.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.

           m.h.

I swear the stars shine
Because your eyes taught them how.
I swear the sun rises everyday
Because you told it to keep going, no matter what.
I swear the clouds constantly move
Because you taught them to never let anything hold you back.
I swear that music sounds so sweet
Because it hears the words you speak to me when we're alone.
I swear, that even though you could barely fix yourself
You knew how to fix the world and me.

         m.h.

Shakespeare once had Juliet say," but what is in a name, that in which we call a rose would still smell as sweet"
But this isn't true.
Because the mention of your name has brought me
joy
grief
peace
sadness
happiness
Shakespeare had a way with words, but he never could make a word to describe how I feel when I hear your name.

                 m.h.

The sounds of summer are
Frogs croaking
Water splashing
Waves crashing
Music playing
Light breeze blowing
Crickets singing
Hearts fluttering
But the most prominent sound, is your heartbeat next to mine.

       m.h.

It was spring break
The sun was bright
And the roads were congested
People raced towards paradise
A long car ride
Spent listening to music and talking to you
I asked you questions to know you better
I listened to your answers to understand who you were

I stayed up into the small hours of the night
and wrote until I had no more words to write or speak
The winds chilled my bones but my hands were warmed by the words I was writing
I watched the stars and the waves
I saw the moon brighter than she's ever been
And it was a reflection of myself
I was sinking in the depths and couldn't swim
But you came along just in time
I showed you my poems and things I wrote when I was alone
You showed me your stories
and the idea that you could be the one was planted in my head
You praised my being and my words
And I did the same in return
I was introduced to you in paradise
You were a haven yourself
When I came back home to the real world
You were my paradise

Over the course of 21 weeks
I have known you better than anyone else
And now I don't know you at all


                 m.h.