Mindless nightmares
Soft, silent breath
Nobody there
Just awaiting **death

Consumed by a life
    She couldn't handle anymore
          Ashamed by desires
       Too desperate to score
               It's just too addicting
   She wants nothing more
Watching everything she loves
            Walk out the door
    Finds money where she can
         But still living life poor
          Too smart to get too involved
     And too dumb to ignore it
             She don't even care
      They all call her a *****
Now thinking, as she sees the knife
           This isn't what she prepared for
    But with a little thought, she knows  
It's what she's always had in store
              As she lays, bleeding out
     On her ****** kitchen floor

the belly of the beast
holds an undeniable hunger
a need
a want
an uncontrollable urge
to break everything asunder

the mind of the beast
knows nothing of real value
no poetry
no music
no reasoning behind thoughts
or balance to push through

the heart of the beast
feels everything but pain
some love
some affection
something to hold on to
but nothing to gain

white knuckles
tighten my grip
can't lose control
hold my breath
hold it all in
do not let go
I cannot snap
close myself off
count back from ten
let my mind get lost
I cannot let it happen again
feels like the edges
are all coming undone
tiny cracks splintering
knuckles loosening
thoughts raging
I can feel it now
the anger
it's blossoming
showing its ugly face
can't control what I do next
I tried holding my breath
but I don't have any oxygen left
I don't know what you've heard
but if you say one more word
it will be with YOUR last breath

I* remember the feeling of waking up for nothing
                   The empty, gray taste everything had
        How I'd stare off
Out windows
Or across streets

                              I remember walking to the river
           And the grass not bending beneath my feet
              The current wouldn't change nor stop for me
   And I imagined it would always be this.
               Having everything I had always wanted right in front of me and it not matter

            I remember being stuck in the rain and not getting wet

         Watching
             Quietly accepting what was, and simultaneously not acknowledging what it meant.
    
        It was comfortable, but now *I want control.

Phones* are like *relationships:
*You really love them at first, but soon, they just don't do it for you anymore and you want one with better features

I'm taking my life. to the pawnshop on a dusty summer-fall morning
     Because at this point I'm not sure what to use it for anymore
               And they'll give me cash for trash
   Like a mountain of crushed cans in exchange for a dream money can buy in a clear plastic baggie