there was once a time when I was perfect
and I didn't even know

there was a time I was happy
despite the way things were

but now.

What?
What do you mean?

This isn't how it's supposed to be
This isn't what I want for me.

When did it all go wrong?


It would've been at the very beginning
Before we even knew it was a mistake.

We can't go back
There never was anything left for me.

But

Pretend this is the beginning
The day that it all will start.

There's nothing holding us back

This wasn't forever
It doesn't have to be.

We can still be free.

A bit too crazy
a bit too wild
a bit too much to stay in style
don't keep it

It's everything
it's everyone
It's all the world and all it wants
to take us

'Im a little too timid
and a little too shy
a little too afraid and I don't know why
don't fake it

There's nothing
and it's just too much
to live with, it's just too much to take in
you hear what they're saying?

I'm a little worried
and a little too tired
I've gone without sleep for a little too long
*To wake up

When we are done in this world
Where do you think we go?

Will we hang around talking with those who left before?
Do you think they are still waiting, maybe they're still here?

But maybe they are dead, like all of you believe
and when you're dead you're gone isn't that how the saying goes?

When i'm done i'm sure
The thing that makes me, me, the thing I call a soul
Will join the others
Where the done ones go

it is everything isnt it?
it is all things
all people
all thoughts
and behaviours

They are the reason for everything
for being
for trying
for losing and lieing

Just because everything is
so everything will be
and everything
should continue
even without me.

There are no monsters beneath my bed
I see the monsters outside instead
They peer through the windows in the dark
But inside they never dare to tread.

There are no monsters beneath my bed
All my monsters live in my head
And Those who leave the darkest mark
Are those words that I've said.

There are no monsters beneath my bed
They trap my limbs in heavy lead
And when I upon my path embark
My final hope turns into dread

There are no monsters beneath my bed
I find them here instead

"Go ahead, be a failure
that is all you ever were to me"

"Let go, be a quitter
that is all you could ever be"

There is no reason to struggle
against the inevitable
Your success is a day I shall never see

"Hang on, stay whole
Trying is a sign"

"Stand up, take control
The last say is mine"

Keep on fighting
the battle is not over
Defeat will not be the last thing I see.

These rules and regulations
all made for all our safety
when did they become more?

So smothering
with no room to wriggle.
Why do I feel trapped?
follow them too strictly?

They say we have a choice to follow
but to differ is to be ridiculed
even receive a penalty
whatever the size.

The rules made to protect me
make me feel lost

Somedays I want to walk diagonally
instead of straight block by block.

but I don't

because what would be the point
of breaking a rule for want?

When the sky clears
and I see that first ray of light
there is hope.

Things will be better today
I can be all right.

Standing barefoot in the bitter wind
and being happy
because the sky is blue

I know could be an odd thing to do

but after so many days of darkness
the sun is a welcome sight.
The trees are restless
The cold winds blow away the night.

Anything can happen on a day like today,
a day when I actually feel okay

I want friends
I want companions
tell me stories
care that I am ill
find me when I am worried
or lonely

I want to be the first one you tell your big news
I'd like you to want me around

but I know I am not very exciting
to most I am particularly dull
It seems if you can't keep your friends
then you don't get any at all

I have nothing to offer
and isn't that the point?
since I am nothing
there is no reason to hang around.

I want to be someone
worthy to be loved

I am not

I need to be
someone other than I am now
The me I am
doesn't do well in this world

I need to be brave
not insecure
Charming
not withdrawn

But how can I reach out to others
when  all I want to do is hide away?