I saw everything my love
But there was no revelation
Because I already knew

Our last supper together
Was not one to remember
Except that I do remember

It never felt that way before
Though we were able to smile
Our memory traveled far

The truth was no comfort
A lie made it easier to bear
There was always another day

I walked to an empty table
Only my glass would follow
Your strength became my thirst

But I wondered about you
Allure made men weak
Was desire all that you were?

I thought of the distance
Like traveling across the sea
I asked if it was the same for you

But I was talking to bare walls
Everything I painted was gone
You were looking for a different brush

I watched you laugh
Your friends made you forget
Though I held your hand

You were once an ornament
I loved that about you
But now what?

Even though I knew you
I felt very strange
You didn’t need me

When you lose the love
The love they felt for you
Then you understand why

See them all in their little holes
Even the big ones are small
There is so much to place just so
But they spill out onto the road
Where we walk upon them together
Wondering about the noise we hear
It’s the same as the one we make

Where is the life we once described
It was a beautiful story
We dared to dream it as we planned
We waited for it to happen
It was almost true as we spoke
To say yes this is how it will be for us
We should not have spoken of it at all

What is it that makes us torture ourselves
We never know how it will end
So we think of it in terms of the pain
But now I think of it like it was the story
Not what we dreamed of
But instead how we lived
Because we were together then

(slaves)

we are a conquered people
but we walk freely as servants
our masters are not at peace
for they know what they do
yet before us they stand
as we weep for our loss
or exult over our victory
and though they are of Caesar

we give that which is God

(supper)

we wash in the headwaters
the water that cleanses my soul
we harvest the vineyards
the wine that became my blood
we cast seeds into the fields
the bread that is my body
we listen to their promises
but a voice became the word

we cannot speak of the image
the ritual looks not upon idols

(kolam)

she made chalk from rice fields
all are invited except evil spirits
lines and circles for prosperity
tomorrow another will be drawn

(death)

is there injustice
speak to me
purify myself
non-violence

until the bullet says no more

(resurrection)

she drew two needles
two needles that cross
two needles that mend
the eyes cast no stone

(desire)

they wear only robes
all desire has passed
the moon guides them
upon waters with no home

(pilgrimage)

seven circles against time
kissing and touching stone
prayers where they stand
drink water from the well

(incorporeal)

how to describe the ocean
to a baby that cannot swim
when we cannot see the edge
nor all that lives within its womb?
all we can do is reap its harvest
by drawing fish in the sand
removing them from the nets
and from baskets made full

(love)

no heaven can accept my sin
no hell can accept my goodness
i can only tell you how I feel
though what I see is you
and what I know is me
you have become like the stars
as beautiful and distant
as grace is to a man like me

Every morning when we see
A great ball of light
It is our rising son
Every morning when we see
A great white cross
It is our rising son
Every morning when we see
A stone rolled back
It is our rising son
Every morning when we see
A picture of a child
It is our rising son
Every morning when we see
A winged shadow
It is our rising son
Every morning when we see
My garden growing
It is our rising son
Every morning when we see
Love in your eyes
It is our rising son
Every morning when we see
Grace faith peace
It is our rising son

I didn’t find your feelings on the corner
I know you gave everything
But real life doesn’t begin until it’s over

You felt sand castles all around you
The tower you wanted fell
It was something that could only be true

I wanted to go where they write no letters
Who would live like that
Crying out is so much more better

You painted your body with my memory
Everyone can read what I did
I thought it meant you still wanted me

I’m not going to live only on your skin
But what my heart knows
Is love will never forget where it’s been

I never knew the word please until tonight
Now I’m ready to say it
I decided that only desperation is light

Flowing out of every pore
Reconsidered by every nerve
Are the things we reject
And the things we serve
Chained by our emotions
Freed by our loneliness
Courage from passion
Apprehension from sadness

I know I know I know
I know why
I know why you are afraid
You’re afraid of another lie
I can’t I can’t I can’t
I can’t promise
I can’t because I’m not ready
It’s easier to be honest

Standing in the doorway
As my eyes ask the question
My heart pretends not to know
Who will hear my confession
I want you to forget everything
Forget yesterday and tomorrow
This is no time for hesitation
This is no time for sorrow

Nobody ever met me in a bar
There’s not enough room in there
Where do I put my childhood
All the friends I’ve known
All the times I've been alone
I wonder if anybody would care

I wonder if I’ve had my finest hour
Maybe I could ask my daughter
I think it was when she was a baby
But only I remember those times
Only I remember those rhymes
And not the baby held by her father

I’m not hard to get to know
The book is always open
But there aren’t any pictures
You’re gonna’ have to read it on your own

I left myself behind in the car
I just don’t want to talk about it
Being a stranger is easier
Just someone for you to walk by
Just someone who won’t make you cry
You’ll never know that I’m worth it

I’m not hard to get to know
Sometimes the book is out on loan
But I’ll be back on the shelf soon
I know there's a lot of pages to turn

YES!
That's what they want
Tell them
The depths of your despair
How your darkness will eclipse the world
How the light of day will become a memory
How the stars will disappear
Becoming black holes
Imploding within themselves
Drawn inward by your heart
So desperate for light
YES!
Tell them
So they know how hard a smile can be
How hard to hold back the tears of yesterday
But also how beauty can carry itself gracefully
Like you my love
And then they will know what I know
Because it was I who put the darkness in there

Over in the corner
It seems unimportant
But that is only because it's really not yet
Not yet
But is it not yet or are you not ready
What draws your attention
A crowd looking up at something all together
Or something in the corner
Ignored but inspired
It will never be greater than the day before you notice
Self-conciousness does not exist in a dark room
Purity does not exist when it tries to please
Ambition is not virtue
Anonymity is not death
And as poverty is not noble to those who hunger
Ignorance of those discovering themselves is not bliss
Instead it is you who wait in the lobby
Waiting for the show
While those who may never reach the stage
Exist not to impress or entertain you
But instead to live their life within the sounds only they can hear

The rows were plowed once again
Sowing the seeds of bitterness
The tears dug deep this time
They forgot about tenderness
I let it happen
The fields awaited
A meadow
A mountain
Death
Heartache
It’s all the same
What is meant to be
Is meant to be
And what will die
And what will grow
Will soon depart
As always
And another tear
Will dig deeper than before
Because pain
Grows well in this soil


Copyright 2012. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

Do we talk about nothingness
Smiling with our voices
Instead of thinking of a time to confess
If we could only love the plains the same
The breathtaking expanse of distance
Walking towards a horizon picture frame
Holding hands, always together

I wondered why it was
All the romance I ever knew
Lived so far away
I kept fooling myself
Saying I wanted to love somebody
But I never knew how

Every sunset makes paintings out of dust
It is the same within my heart
The clouds of my mind, stirred only by lust
But inside the rock formations
To see your face again, reflections of love
Carve themselves, memory creations
Reminding me, once again

To be tied to a reality other than your own is
either liberating or shackling for in the alternative
is your own what is true or the absence of anything
other than what you have experienced or perceived;
what should I tell you about that; did the painting
hide something for a reason or might it be better
that you decide what the suggestion on a canvas
is about; and so why did the shadow stop at the
given point in the parallel; do you wish to discuss
the physics or instead the abstract claim of a
metaphor that is greater than the life which it
attempts to emulate; there is no moment without
a question; there is no explanation without doubt
however slight; this is how you have learned to live;
you are not creation even though you can create;
you are not death because you will not **** though
it is true that you will die; you are not floating as
you cannot fly though you move relative to the star
you wished upon last night; you are not weightless
nor are you full of meaning except to your children
or someone you have hurt deeply; you are not
happy but you have made someone smile; you
are not forever though you believe you can see
it when you stare into space even though it is only
light from the past; you moved to a smaller town
because you used up the abundance of what you
once thought illuminated your aura in the presence
of others; you were once free to spend all your
time with someone you loved madly until they
decided you weren’t going to do what they
needed you to do; but did you hold to principle
or selfishness; the discomfort of their absence has
failed to reduce itself to the memory of a movie
you once watched; instead it has become an
explanation with residual doubt, in other words
it is the way we live; we tell someone we love
them and find out later that we actually meant
it at the time; you are a natural scientist as
discovery is everything you crave; you want to
know their mind, what they are thinking, how
deeply they can love and if they ever truly loved
anyone else more than you; but these discoveries  
are not for your betterment; it is only to provide
the comfort of your worth; did a someone love
them at their peak beauty then reject them; does
it mean they will never get over it or does it mean
what you now have is a mind that has finally
humbled itself yet has built a wall, not of beauty
but instead of caution; either of bricks or stone,
but no matter for its strength is the same, as you
cannot scale what is intended to be a test instead
of understanding or kindness; but is any of this even
true; it could well be that you instead built the wall
because you were once beautiful and now are only
vulnerable, because to walk naked or to ask someone
to walk naked before you is the same; and it will not
happen until you have found the courage to lose or
live with the reality that you have expressed or that
they have revealed; all that you can hear at this
moment is your own labored breathing; you have
allowed your mind to walk where you are weightless;
where you creation; where you are death; where
forever exists; where the questions that followed
doubt became answers that pushed doubt ahead
of you, for another day because today the shadow
on the canvas finally made sense; it was not about
you because it did not come from the brush that
you hold in your hand; it was only to be explained
fully by the artist; but for you it was to be used as
you wish and that is how you will know its meaning;
the cocoon and the womb have been left behind and
the shadow is only about how you will live; that is
what you can see and the explanation will not be
forthcoming from its creator; that is for you to decide

Your picture tells me more than I could ever say
But not enough to tell me what I should think
It is because your smile has become so effortless
The corners of your mouth learned without me

There is a love affair between us in my mind
That is why you have settled for being alone
My dreamscape desires made the choice for you
Living in silent madness is better than what is real

I thought to tell you but I'm so far away
Like distant paintings with faded signatures
The captured love of another man’s memory
Has become my own way of missing you

There is nothing anyone can say that I would hear
Only you understand what I have dreamed
Let me whisper words upon your lonely canvas
Painting a new sunrise upon your sleepless soul


Copyright © Mark R. Lecuona 2016 ®

* No part of this poem may be used or reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any way or form or by any means electronic, mechanical, recording, or otherwise without the written permission of the author.

My shadow painted the room with your memory
I wanted to see it when I turned the lights on
Nobody would know you were there except me
It always made me think maybe you weren’t gone

I can’t think of you in the darkness that still remembers
I need to see the shapes the way they changed every day
You tried to hide around each corner, still I found you
Standing between light and fantasy was the only way

What hurts so much except love cast before you?
Red yellow or orange is all the same to me
But blue and black seem to know best what to do
I don't miss my shadow, just the things I can no longer see

I grieve for humanity
Because my own may harden
I grieve for justice
Because war knows no pardon
I grieve for courage
Because with fear we may govern
I grieve for children
Because a fire burns in their garden

he said,
it’s good to still be among the living;

a new year makes someone say things like that

but I wondered,
is it better than walking on streets paved with gold?

the life we leave behind is for those who will miss you

the legacy of our journey, is it in need of forgiveness;
yes it is, always

we make promises we cannot keep;
we turn out lights but cannot sleep

it is because we do not know the difference
between light and dark; or if the difference matters,
we can only listen to a poor black woman, a legacy,
singing gospel with her gift to carry the shame of men;

to carry it to God; TO GOD!

to ask him to forgive them for what they did to her;
because she knew that he would ask her a question

who have you forgiven my child?

CAN YOU IMAGINE ANY OF THIS?

the longest road out west is part of the scene

you can ride alone and think about where everyone went;
why would they not want to live here when it is so quiet;
is that why; the quiet?

even looking at the word makes you feel uneasy,
if only for a moment;
but the soft wind limps behind,
while nature focuses upon you alone,
with your rifle and your hat

beyond wondering what happened there long ago,
and what might be behind that cactus, you can only
keep walking to find what you came for; or maybe
it’s just that;
you and nobody else, with brown grass
and dry air substituted for streets of gold;
and you’re ok with that;
it's because you found somebody who agrees with you

you told her you sure like talking to her; she’s not too
******* you; she gets the strain in your life and how
it’s  really about companionship and not rearranging
everything

she is part of the living and it makes you want to live;
right up to the time that gospel song began to soar,
because that made you realize this whole thing is one;
one with her, one with God, one with that song, one
with that long road

gold ain’t got nothing to do with it

I don’t know what to take seriously
It seems it is only how I feel anymore
Anymore
How I feel anymore

I’ve passed the world by
Watching for the smiling grievers
Just like me
Trapped by choices made long ago

The way a sad man can laugh
Is just another miracle of life

Hopping, stone to stone
The distance widening each time
The place to stand ever smaller
As long as my feet are dry
I will be held together by these small joys

I think I have been blinded somehow
It seems I’ve lost my way
My way
I’ve lost my way

I don’t have to make myself write something
That is where I live now
Not in a closet
Not in the jungle
I don’t have to prove that to you

I wonder about someone who takes life literally
With a sword in their hand, dividing life before them
I’ve felt the blade, ****** deeply
And they told me it was God saving me
Still, I continue on

I am subdued not by sadness but by outrage
I am subdued not by outrage but by sadness
Hopping, stone to stone
Carefully placed before me
An old man cannot survive without his dignity

I think I’ve not prepared myself for this
The greatest challenge of a life
My life
The greatest challenge of my life

I finally understand despair
When there is nothing left to do
Except to hurt yourself
I finally understand anger
When there is no calm
Except when you hurt someone else
I finally understand pathos
When I have to reach you
Because I can no longer reach myself
I finally understand depression
When I can reach no one
Because they are somewhere else

I cannot understand happiness
When I am not happy
Because I have rejected myself
I cannot understand contentment
When I am so uninspired
And need to be like someone else
I cannot understand a smile
When I am so lost
Because it does not come from myself
I cannot understand your approval
When I am restless
And want it from someone else

How can I live
When my life is upside down
And the sun is harmful to myself
How can I sleep
When the night is all I have
But it belongs to someone else
How can I love you
When soon I will leave
So I can ****** someone else
How can I exist
When there is no answer
Even when I only question myself

How can I understand
When I cannot live
Unless I am happy with myself
How can I live
When I am unhappy
Because there is nothing else
How can you help me
When I am in need
When I can’t help myself
How can I help you
When I can’t understand
How to love someone else

How can I cope
When I am controlled
And cannot be myself
How can I remain in control
When I am shackled
By someone else
How can I resist
When to resist is to die
Because I am not in control of myself
How can I die
When to live is all I have
Because I am needed by someone else

I must understand hope
Because I need to believe
In something more than myself
I must understand tomorrow
Because today is yesterday
When I was someone else
I must understand how to wait
For something to believe
Because I need to believe in myself
I must understand how to be strong
When that is all I can do
Because of the belief of someone else*



"All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2011. Mark Lecuona."

Through the vision you have given me
I found the peace in my heart
But it was not as I thought it would be
To know comfort was not of knowledge
Only perception
But to know peace was not of perception
Only knowledge
And what I came to know was not how I’ve been sleeping

True love can feel fingers separated by glass
Smile knowing of the coming storm
Live on after the loss of a child
It is so that we must feel these things if we are to be alive

Born from dark murky shadows into bright cold lights
It is life that begins without peace
Or knowledge
Or perception
But though a flower will grow as destined with water and sunshine
A baby can be a rose for beauty
A tree for shade
A sunset for comfort
An ocean framed by palms and dreams
If only someone will show him how

Will he know a slave feels love
That a hero knows fear
That a woman can be brave
That men **** for a God of love
That the desire for equality is seen as subversive
As a **** growing in a green meadow
Will he know these things
And will he recognize it as peace in his heart

He will know
as…
An honest man
even as an island
as…
A civilized man
even as a bruise
as…
A dignified man
even as a victim
as…
A strong man
even as a pauper

It is this peace…
to be willing to live outside while it rains
… because outside is who you are
to be willing to be struck down in the streets
… because the streets are who you are
to be willing to be cursed as you speak the truth
… because the truth is who you are

Peace

It is not what you think
If you don't
It is not how to escape
Because you cannot
It is not what you pretend
If it is wrong
It is not about power
If that is what you want

It is only who you are
Who you are
No matter how much turmoil all around you

A falling mountain stream
From the sky on down it runs
You can hear it from the graveyard
While the moon gathers what the sun left behind

Trying to sell what a farmer grows
You can't get rich living like that
Rest in peace, it made him think of them
Nobody ever starved singing songs of memory

Peace resting at his feet
He thought about their hard life
They made it all the way to heaven
Singing like a stream made of light

He could fix a flat and grow a garden
Children and chores never thinking about it
In between prayers, songs of the country
That's how they always finished the day

Peace Lord peace
Peace resting at his feet
Peace Lord peace
Peace resting where peace can sleep

Daughter daughter daughter
How do I explain
Why your father is dead?

My son my son my son
How can I explain
Why there’s a bullet in his head?

People people people
There’s so much anger
But is it so much
To want to **** a stranger?

Where is the carpenter of peace
To walk in our midst?
Even if he walked on water
Would he be betrayed by a bullet or a kiss?

People people people
We fight over a man’s last meal
And one unkind word
Why do we **** instead of kneel?

Where is the man who had a dream
To wake us from our sleep?
He walked across a bridge
And sowed his life for you to reap

People people people
Why must a good man die
For anyone to care
Are there any tears left to cry?

Where is the little man with salt in his hand
To give us courage and dignity?
He died by the same bullet
Because mankind cannot live in harmony

A perfect miracle
Forgiveness you can never give
A perfect blossom
A tree you have never seen
It is all in the mind
It is all we that we ask
To be given the chance to witness
Or give
Perfection
Can it come from the living
But why is the opposite true
A scar upon our back
And upon our heart
Pain too easily felt
Or darkness made from our fears
Why can we not also become light
Or heal our enemy
From the pain they inflicted upon us
For the perfect blossom grows
In the soil of the human heart
And it is ours to plant
If only we knew how

Her skin crawled with fire ants underneath the surface
She couldn’t sleep long enough to dream anymore
Trying to live a life of perfection
She stopped loving everything she once lived for

She was born a foolish dreamer
But the fear of living her dreams was too much
Not knowing if she would ever reach the sea
She became a rock because it was easier to touch

What she forgot was she was the one to break the soil
It didn’t have to be explained to anyone
It didn’t have to matter at the moment
But one day they would realized her fears were their reflection

She wanted to live in a world of high fashion
Cultural expression alluring  rainbow canyon mystery
Until it’s over you can never know what you came to be
She asked someone a question, they said, "It’s your fantasy"

It is within the province of the personality where freedom finds its voice; but never assume that the freedom exhibited by someone else precludes their capacity for kindness and a gentle spirit; for what is foreign to you does not marginalize their humanity.

She fell in love with the wrong guy
He said she was all he had
Two rights made a wrong this time
Now the right guy doesn’t seem so bad

They just wanted to have fun
The world was something to ignore
She thought he was so different
Now he’s got more problems than before

It’s up to her
It’s up to her
She asked for help
Then she said she loved him
That’s a personal problem
She picked a boy
Now she needs a man

He said a lot of things that sounded smart
He made her laugh and was a dreamer
She finally noticed it was just talking in his sleep
Now she knows why some promises can’t remember

Sometimes it takes a woman to grow a boy up
She thought he was exactly what she dreamed
He built her a safe place against the world
Now the wall isn't exactly what it seemed

It’s up to her
It’s up to her
She’s too young
He’s too lost
That’s a personal problem
She picked a boy
He’s not yet a man

It's as if there are a million candles in my mind
I see flickers of light in every distance
I hear exploding phosphorus
Movement
Sound
Light
It is you my darling
You are lighting each candle in silence
And the light is beginning to grow
I can see it now
With each new burst of air my life changes
Warm
Soothing
Light
Do not speak of it
I want only to  watch it happen
Because I want to remember
And not wish for anything more

Pick a card.... any card
     But why just one?
Because that is the game
     But I don't like the rules
Do you want to play or not?
     I am playing
You can't pick more than one card
     I already have a deck of my own
But you have to play with this deck
     Your deck is like mine... lots of variety
Yes but it's not a game of variety
     But I like all the cards... some more than others
That is not allowed
     I can't play with them?
No... you must pick one and then play with that one
     What is the point?
There is no point... that's just the game
     How long can it last with just one card?
The rest of your life.......
     ****

No matter which side you're on, the truth has it's own lane...

It was silent beauty
I never tired of it
But it did not reach for me
It gave itself to the eyes of every stranger
And though the sky held it close
It's light passed without remorse
Only to draw the water near
And because the ocean washed my feet
I was transformed against my will
And what I became was the strength of a picture frame
Because to stand beside you
Is to live with beauty I will never forget

And name me a time of when
The reasons have passed
To look at me now
Is to see a mistaken reflection

I realized I don't have any pictures
I thought a sunset took care of it's own
You can find it wherever you are
But not someone who meant to leave

I only wanted to feel you deep in my heart
The only way was to be the forest itself
Not living to look at the past as a wisp
But taking a chance with the lightening

I can't say anything being about my girl
Is that only for times when we were young?
It's that I want to carry you up the stairs
Who can say when but I know I can

My heart is not broken
It is only in pieces that have learned to live apart

It was a choice of survival
Evolving
Floating
Connected by the same body of water

Though unsacred, shared experience records the nobility of freeing oneself to become every moment of your life

North is happy
South is sad
East is angry
West is glad

A mission trip to the four corners of future dreams

Armed with diverse darkened hopes sailing beyond each horizon but touched by the same sea

My heart is not broken
But it will converge one day

Washed ashore upon understanding lands made whole by the hopes of others who decided their journeys no longer could hide them from dreams that are ready to awaken

Usted piensa
demasiado como una raza
y no como un humano
porque era incapaz de aceptar
palabras españolas
de la piel blanca.

i saw a light skipping across a deep blue sea
It’s the same as the one i saw in the desert sands
where many distant dreams pilgrim all my pleas
reflections change but we don’t know how it works
transparent or not we hold the truth in our hands
the storm I see now is where your dark side lurks

you came on like the weather nobody can project
wave after wave shallow and deep at once they came
i grabbed the mast when I realized you were a wreck
was it solid ground waiting or a wooden ship floating
you could say it’s neither or either but it feels the same
the stress of the deciding is like sand and wind blowing

i stopped thinking about double pain windows and prayers
an open heart is an island where hurricanes refuse to atone
remorseless broken glass dips into the blood of my nightmares
every faded scar begs for loneliness to finally accept its fate
but nothing built upon these shores was made to walk alone
and i will believe once again in a reflection of love and not hate

Who would willingly live in the shadows,
except sadness and shame
Something changed their nature
The ruins of a past life, eclipsed,
by a story they refuse to tell

But the shadow is once again, alive;
drawing you near
It is your weakness that is strong; enough
to give you a life of meaning
And so to light you bid farewell

No reflection to guide your conscience,
only your lessons
You  gave fortitude away; in its place,
rationalization and suspicion,
within the walls of an abandoned shell

But there is a tree that remains, where
shadows exhaust themselves
It is in every memory of the heart, alone,
but ready for harvest; look upon it
and by its light God will make you well

Hey baby you got me thinkin’ about you
That’s how it always starts
I’m gonna’ say what I got to say
But are you gonna’ hear me tonight?

My dreams moved right in with yours
But I think they already knew each other
We just have to forget about losing
At least we’ll remember when it was right

You got to give me more than a smile
But a woman wants to see a man work
I know what you want me to do
I’ll run for you baby
That's the game we both have to play

Hey baby you got me dreamin’ about you
That’s how it always starts
This time I saw you before the sunset
I wanted to see you in the light

Don’t give me no hard time
There’s plenty of time for that
Go ahead and put on your crown
The jewels will guide me tonight

You got to give me more than a while
A woman wants to make a man wait
I know what I’m supposed to do
Sit still for me baby
The game's over why don't you stay

How can we forget who died trying to make us equal
Somebody said it’s up to you to make it happen
But you don’t know what you would do laying in your crib
Would you make mud out of dirt floors in your mansion?

It wasn’t a made-up soul standing on the corner
Though you thought he was dead in his mother’s womb
She gave birth in a world that didn’t want him to live
But the song he once sang echoes in our own tomb

The voices of the past continue to haunt our thoughts
Yet the dead remain mute leaving us with our own cries
We read their words and wait for a stillborn prophecy’s birth
As the day ends the sun laughs through sacrificial eyes

The floor rises as each page is ripped from the book of life
Who watches while I decide between penance or desires?
What piper would play two songs when only one can be heard?
We await the answer hoping it's the one our heart requires

i could reject everything
but i have to love something
don't i?
It's easy to love nature
or animals
there's no trust involved
but people
who are so much more
can be so much less
don't pretend on me
we either belong together
or should just use each other
to practice our manners
but you don't have to
i'm ok if you move on
we never really knew each other
we kept our clothes on
my bags are still in the car
can you tell me though
which side of the cage was i anyway?

This is not a white country
This is not a black country
This is not a Latino country
This is not a male country
This is not a female country
This is not a straight country
This is not a gay country
This is not a macho country
This is not a feminist country
This is not a religious country
This is not an atheist country
This is not anything
This is everything

It's already lost
Just raise your kids
It doesn't matter what they say
Unless history smiles at you this time
All they can do is move your feelings around
What's that done for you lately?
Try to love like you mean it
Somebody else's new right is not a crime

Let us not aspire to be like them
We are not to follow one man or woman
Or to sacrifice our brothers and sisters

They offer our existence
We give our obedience
They offer us equality
We accept mediocrity

Let us remember not to trust them
We are not to assume their good intention
Or that they can change the hearts of men

They decide at night
We hear speeches in the light
They ask us to blame one another
While they wink at each other

Let us not forget why we love the seasons
We are not to live a life without our own reason
Or spend our time crying like the children we are

Our surrender a cocoon
As is every revolution
Our violence a butterfly
Free will until we die

Do you love your child?
Do you believe bullets are better than flowers?
Can you even speak the words?
What difference to a life of dishonest existence?

The avoidance of light
And knowledge of truth
Rather with denial
To bring darkness
To believe a lie
To send forth the lie
To pollinate the life others

Do you love your child?
Do you believe money is better than love?
Can you even speak the words?
What difference to the future that you squander?

To climb a tree
To tell a lie
Rather on the ground
Like a poor man
Who tells the truth
And who sleeps well
As you watch the gates
In fear of his awakening

Do you love your child?
Do you believe power is better than honesty?
Can you even speak the words?
What difference to those who believe in you?

To elevate yourself
Above all others
Rather with humility
To quietly give
To bow before truth
To walk away from gain
Stolen in the night
Because you had nothing else
But your own reflection

Find the truth, for whatever it may be about why men are killing each other it does not **** God; if he exists then the history of man's inhumanity towards one another and why they may puzzle you with their behavior is irrelevent. Stop justifying that which is the province of Caesar. Are you concerned with being a world power or with being a fisher of men's souls? Regardless of your religion, read the sermon on the mount carefully, then ask yourself what is being asked of you. Then when you see someone who is different than you, you will know what to do. Drop your sword. Do not be afraid. For what you profess to believe is not about how or when you die but about how you live. You cannot judge. Think of your own nature and how you must appear to God. You do not know why another man acts the way he does. You do not know why he is afraid of you because you are only concerned with why you are afraid of him. Elevate yourself above geopolitical politics. Protect the rights of all men. Honor your God in peace. He does not require your help against those who do not believe exactly as you. That is not what is being asked of you. If he is God, then he will never die no matter what happens on Earth. But is it his will that lives or dies in your life? Who decides? You know what to do.

Living the future,
planned by a childhood,
unable to understand,
hate;
and now we question them,
and accuse them;
as if the scars do not exist;
as if their resentments are only delusion;
who could pretend it is so;
who could pretend reality is a lie,
and fantasy is real;
who but you if you are weak;
who but you,
if you cannot separate emotion from truth;
who but you,
if you can only see yourself

I once thought people who were vague
Knew something I did not
Now I know it's that they have nothing to say
They hide behind a mystery without a plot
But if that's how it is
Then don't let me stand in your way
Go ahead and read from a blank page
And pretend who you are is what it is

When you come to your senses
Call me
It's not a negotiation
Loving me is not that hard
It's loving yourself that matters
Chasing fulfillment is like running away
People are unhappy in Paris
We can be happy
We're no longer twenty
We've seen more than we care to share
But the game is over
The living has begun
I wonder if you know the difference
Between being a prize or a gift
Equality is not as easy as you thought
Especially for a princess who can't let go

we imagine
a fire surrounding a princess
we don't want to be afraid
she is worth the agony of our fantasy
would we die for her
because her smile reflected the water
as a dream reflects our sorrow
would we?
or is it just a myth
the greatness of one man
willing to die for love
or is it only his people
who love the story
for it is their fire
and it burns inside their minds
to risk death is to say
love is theirs to keep
and beauty
is not to be bound by dragons
or shallow men
blinking as a light skips past
like a rock
across water
held aloft by the force of our desire
to walk upon water
believing in the impossible
believing in love
no matter the cost
no matter the loss

I thought I knew her limits
I’d never been that afraid of a woman
But she was just as afraid of losing me
I should have known why she shattered the glass

It was what separated us
The things I once said
While we laid in bed
Promises to make you stay

I thought she would never do it
I’d never seen a woman that hard before
But love was something she knew too much about
I should have known desperation has two lives

It was what separated us
The things I once said
While we laid in bed
Promises that pushed you away

I thought she’d miss our life
I'd never seen a woman that happy
But her crooked smile said you don’t have all of me
I should have known what she was saving

It was what separated us
The things I once said
While we laid in bed
Promises that make me pray

It is to the free-minded yet civil, the industrious yet unambitious, the honest yet kind, the unencumbered yet giving, the private yet civic, the humble yet wise, the quiet yet firm, the suffering yet dignified, the individual yet understanding and the lawful yet forgiving people that I raise my hand in honor and not to those who would hector us with exhortations from the offices of power or the pulpits of vanity.

you took the pill
and main street
became the bottom of the ocean
red lights at a corner
paint or blood?
is this love baby
huh
don't ask
the hair on you arms
braiding the wind
while she tells you
huh
baby
it is
it is what?
what you asked
i'm not a red light
do it
do it
don't worry about my mother
i'm not
your smile
your hands
soft
you
music
jazz
tone
smooth
the sun
the moon
nature
soothe
love
close
touch
desperation
******
don't speak
i understand
tell me later
or just smile again
wait
who's driving this limo
and how did these fish get in here
the bubbles died before i did
who said anything about bubbles
shut up
what happened to my shoes
eyes on my shirt
all the better to see you with
it's not my baby
ok it is
it's was me anyway
that sofa was god
i'm still going to wear my hat
did you have any interest in my  hair
who was she
i'm up still
i'm not going to say no
but let me make sure you're not a snake
or wait
snakes only talk to women
maybe that was too bold a thing to say
i'm no longer drowning
looking up
i'm fazed
no mirrors
layers of water
even heat
let me cool myself off
butterfly wings
monarchs
thousands
but they can't swim
dreams will do that
confusion
i'll sort it out when i wake up
who are you anyway
you're beautiful
did you do that to me
or was it just the pill?

Look at the night sky
What you see are the scars
Evidence of the past
And it was me
I removed what was there
One by one
What remains
Is light
Experience
If only you would see them for what they are

They wait for you
For night
Your night
For theirs is always different
You have a memory
They are your memory
And they will never be anything else
Yet you are able to spend time away
While they point in all directions
Without a compass
Or a purpose

You are not locked in a room
You are walking freely
And every good thing that happens
You must see why it happened

For once
Long ago
There was something in the place of the scars
Something before that was only about you
But now it’s about something else
Something you must share
But I have your past in my hand
Before it all happened
For they were never stars
Instead they are scars
But they smile even though you cannot
I took them with me
The purity you long for
But that is not life
Purity is not life

Only a reminder of what is important

Look at them
Look at the sky
You have lived

The purity is now what guides you
It is in every smile
And there are as many left as there are scars

Every scar is a reminder of what lies ahead
That is why they are bright against the darkness

Just as the chance to be happy contrasts with your sadness