Why ruin something so beautiful?

I'm writing this,
(drunk & alone, again)
No.
Stop.
This will not end well,
It simply will not end.

do you want me to keep the light in the window
do you want me to keep a spot open for you
do you want me to wait

if you give me just a bit of hope
if you listen to just one more song
if you let me call just one more time

I won't give up
I won't let go
I won't, I swear

Because I will wait for you
if it means a little bit of hope
if it means one more song
if it means one more call

I'll wait for you
{bcg}

I got drunk on life
This time, like every time
The old trick works on me
I am just happy enough
Until I have had one too many

Then everything is buzzing
Fuzzy thoughts and accurate feelings

I carry on
As if my gut still permits it
Before promising, I learned my lesson
From overindulging.

This time, I will be more vigilant
Life tastes delicious;
But I should sip gently
Unless it is yet another hungover
From decisions I could regret long after

Then everything is buzzing
Accurate thoughts and fuzzy feelings

Drink moderately, or else I will be
Easily intoxicated
On this plethora of life experience
This time, I shall only get a little tipsy.

And in
          the end we
    are only
broken,
empty
shells.
We are
   marked
       with pain,
           destruction, and
                          love.