Do you ever feel like
You suddenly don't belong anymore?
Like you used to matter in someone's life,
But now you just exist there?

cloud in the sky,
drifting, rose of
the skies, wanderer.

elation, wild heart,
sea of wild stars,
sea, incredible love.

winter sea, wilderness
and wild flowers,
stars burning the skies.

i am jealous
because all of my
love wants you,

i am jealous
because my beautiful
love wanted you,

kissing me in dreams,
sighing like a ghost,
like the waves of the sea i so love.

tonight i want the sea more
than your love, some days
my heart just longs to be wild.

tonight i will make you jealous
of the sea.

“I want your smile.
I want your arms wrapped around me.
I want your oceanic-blue tantalizing eyes piercing through my empty soul.
I want your kisses.
I want your tight hugs.
I want your voice lulling me to sleep.
I want your late night sweet messages.
I want your trust.
I want your love.
I want everything from you.
I want them mine alone.

Am I asking for too much?

I’ll stop making non-sense jokes to make you smile.
I’ll stop teasing you.
I’ll stop confiding myself to you.
I’ll stop caring.
I’ll stop showing fragility.
I’ll stop getting used to your concern-filled cold voice.
I’ll stop asking for your attention.
I’ll stop trying.
I’ll stop asking for more.
I’ll stop being greedy.
I’ll stop wanting you.
I’ll stop this feeling.
     Maybe.

     I think.

     Hopefully.

Do you want me to stop?”

I miss the way you use to look at me
     with those beautiful green eyes
the way you use to hold my hand
      while we wents for drives.
I miss the way you use to kiss my lips
      the feel of yours pressing against mine.
I miss you laugh
      and that amazing smile.
I miss your body
     and the warmth of it pressed against mine
I miss my head resting on your chest
     listening to your heart beat.
I miss your company
     and the way you called my baby girl

I’m measuring heartbeats and gauging miles across torn atlases and
each space between the intakes of breath while saying I miss you
feels like my lungs are freezing over or decaying or burning

I’ve been pacing around my room for so long that I think
my floorboards are starting to form fault lines
and some nights I miss you with the magnitude of an earthquake

I’m digging trenches in my chest because
my heart holds more use as a graveyard
and I’m burying your memories there

It’s midnight on the first day of autumn and I don’t know
if the thunder cracked again or it’s just my voice
begging and screaming at God to bring you back to me

except no one can hear prayers over the silence
that’s fallen over me since you left so I keep missing you
until heartbeats can keep up with distance