Whilst walking down the street
I heard a thunderous tweet;
'Twas a straining little bird
Who couldn't pass a ****.

The little thing was constipated,
Its **** wide dilated;
Tweeting loudly in mid-bog,
Trying to eject a log.

I observed with sympathetic heart
As it trumpeted out a ****;
Straining, chirping loud and long,
Letting off a foul and noisome pong.

I watched for nigh an hour
Its display of **** power;
Then a final intestinal pump
Produced a huge great steaming lump:

A mighty ball of faeces
(a giant of its species,
and total bumhole splitter
which shattered its feathered *******).

I'll leave life with my masterpiece lying in death.
I'll leave life with all the answers that beat in my chest
I'll leave life with all the insight I had in my head.
I'll leave life with unspoken words left in my breath.
I'll leave life and hug those that may be next to my bed
I'll leave life and hopefully my hope will wear me
close to her chest
I'll leave life and I hope she knows my soul
hasn't left.
I'll leave life and see where hope is taking me next.

I guess its been a while
Since I've felt okay,
Since I have smiled.
Me, they say is so put together
But I'm lost inside.
I've forgotten what its like just to feel okay,
Just praying for a day when there is no more rain.

Now I'm
Left here breaking down,
Crying all through the night.
Just hiding away from the world.
This time I'll keep it all inside!

I hardly feel alive,
Just going through the motions
But I'm done with trying.
This pain that's inside, unbearable,
Just getting worse everyday.
I wish that I could hide away!
I wish that I didn't exist!

Now I'm
Left here breaking down,
Crying all through the night.
Just hiding away from the world.
This time I'll keep it all inside!

I feel so low,
I've hit the bottom
With nowhere to go.
I just need to escape!

"FAT"
"UGLY"
"WORTHLESS"
"PATHETIC"
These words fall from their mouths
Like a thousand poisonous daggers
Piercing my mind and soul.

"WEAK"
"USELESS"
"WASTE OF SPACE"
"NOTHING"
So easily thrown at me
Like a million punches.
I'm stuck inside a war I'm so desperately trying to escape!

"LIFELESS"
"MESS UP"
"NEVER GOOD ENOUGH"
"NO ONE COULD EVER LOVE YOU"
Oh how I remember these words falling so freely from peoples mouths
But this was never anyone other then myself.
I realised too late, I was my own worst enemy...
Causing my own self-destruction.

This pounding in my head
And ringing in my ears,
Tightness in my chest
And tingling in my fingers.
This dizziness that consumes me
And fears that threaten my sanity
Rip at my heart
And make me feel like I'm going crazy.

This never ending sadness
And tears that threaten to drown me,
Irrational fears consume me
And poison my once good thoughts.
This emptiness and loneliness
And loss of energy I cannot get back
Tear my world apart
Until I no longer can go on.

By seven I knew I was different

By eight I thought I was weird

By nine I thought I was fat

By ten I thought I was ugly

By eleven I started to hate myself

By twelve I thought I shouldn't exist

By thirteen I wanted to die

By fourteen I began to selfharm

By fifteen I planned my death

By sixteen I was long gone

I think
I'm stupid
Ugly
Annoying
No one wants me here

But I'm too cowardly to do the deed
And leave this world forever

Yet you say
I'm beautiful
Sweet
Kind
And I should stay

And that it's cowardly to "run from my problems"
And leave this world forever


I think
It hurts too much
No one wants me
No one will help me
No one cares about me

But I'm too selfish to say goodbye
And leave this world forever

Yet you say
That the pain will pass
That you want me to stay
That you will help me up
That you care about me

And that it would hurt you if I "gave in"
And left this world forever

What I think
And you say,
Do not match

What my soul says
And my ears hear
Are very different

Someone must be lying
**And I think it might be you

Sometimes I think
I'm empty inside
Like there's a black hole
In my chest
Where my heart is meant to be

Sometimes I feel like
It's ******* the life out of me
It's stealing my energy
It makes it hard to breathe

Sometimes I wish
I was normal
And I had a strong beating heart
Where all I have is a evil black hole
That stole the innocent me

Sometimes...
No.
All the time

I want to get smaller and smaller, to turn into a ghost, a shadow, to be able to hide in a wormhole in the ground.
I want people to forget about me. Because I hate myself and I hate everything I do. Because I hurt everyone I know and I destroy everything I touch.
I want to stop the time, to live forever in this moment, I want my life to stop advancing in space, because I don’t like where it goes. It’s like my body, my whole existence, is composed of mistakes and I am like this gigantic fault magnet, no matter what I do, no matter where I go, failure is there, waiting for me.
The demons inside my head build a hell for me every day and I have to carry it with me all the time. And I can’t stop them. I am so used to this hell that I am afraid of trying to get rid of it. I’m afraid of becoming happy.
So I hide.
I feel weak, I feel cold. I feel a sharp pain in my chest.
My bones are empty.
I fall.
I shatter.
I am small, but not small enough.

I feel like I am one of those sad songs
nobody wants to hear at a party
because they wake up memories,
open wounds,
make you bleed inside
And because in a few moments they ****
Everything that’s left of you.

Because they hurt.

There’s something that makes me spend
more and more time in my room.
It is a dark place,
the lights never get through the window,
there are monsters under the bed,
but they never sleep.

People are not allowed in my room
they can’t even knock at the door;
Some of them know it,
they just let me be alone.
—or maybe they just don’t care—
But sometimes new people arrive in my world,
they try to save me
so they just come in.
And that’s when I hurt them.
And then the monsters make me lock the door,
light a small candle
and read from the book where the pain
writes poems every day,
while they show me pictures of all the people I've hurt,
of everything I've destroyed.

And then my entire being starts screaming, mad at me,
until I shatter and pieces of me cover the floor.
After that comes the silence.


You don't know  how afraid I am
of silent, dark nights
how something just makes me go in there
every time I start feeling
love.

And I wish I could let people in
without hurting them.

But I can't.

So please, don't come in
don't even knock.
Don't try to save me.

There are monsters in my room
and I am the worst of them.