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I am pathetic.
I feel ridiculous.
I feel my self believing their accusations.
But I am not just some over dramatic burn out.
if you could see my life through my eyes you would feel just as helpless.
If you felt what I felt youd try anything to escape too.
If you seen what Ive seen youd be just as traumatized as me.
If you heard what I heard youd be sobbing too.
I wish you could see what I see.
time is
the space in which we grow
   without awareness
   in our early years
structured by meals
   arrivals and departures
   light and dark
   hot and cold
   school   studies  play  adventures
   celebrations
and by waiting
   anxiously or not
for things to happen

time is
that feeling
that we may not have enough of it
in our later years
busy with jobs and family and travel
covering long distances in order to
achieve and educate and care

time is
what starts to rush by us
with increasing speed
in our final years
making us wonder
what it really means

that space
by which we measure
our lives
   our universes
      our worlds

time is
First you need friendship,
Then add a pinch of attraction,
And a dash of late nights and,
Glances that last to long.
Don't forget the ****** tension,
You'll need a lot of that,
Butterflies and quick heart beats.
Add nerves and hope filled dreams,
Laughter is next,
Along with too big t-shirts,
And warm blankets.
Touches that you liked to much,
And goodbye hugs,
Then add some strength,
And shared interests.
Now let that all simmer and stew,
And watch true love grow.
*******
Just ********

Im not going to stop doing something because it makes me happy
You always said "do what makes you happy"
But I guess you changed your mind
Well *******
Im not gonna stop
Im gonna do what makes me happy
And if you don't like it
********
 Mar 2016 codenameDust
Aeerdna
I know it's hard to touch the clouds
when memories
hold you down
I know you cry a lot inside
when no one is
around
I know it is hard to wake up
sometimes
when breathing cuts so deep.

and the birds, they sing
but
you cannot hear
and the sun, it shines
but
you cannot see
and there's a lot of warmth around
but
you cannot feel.

I know it feels so hard
to live
with so many scars

but

light will shine and you will
see
and birds will sing and
you will hear

It's just a dark path
you have to walk
and I will be there
to walk along
don't hold your breath
don't give up yet
just
keep your hope
and you'll find one day
that you can fly again
for you deserve
the highest clouds
the purest air
the deepest love.

and I'll be here for you,
you, dear soul,
the sweetest lyric
of them all.
for lyric, <3

https://soundcloud.com/aeerdnaloony/for-you
I know you don't love me anymore
I am unsure whether you did before
I just want you to finally be happy
And live life filled with complete glee.

I know love is a truly complex notion
One filled with deep heartfelt emotions
You can't force love, if you do as a result
It eventually has ways to suddenly halt.

I am so glad that you found someone
I know you're feeling like you've won
But I wonder if you ever missed me
I do understand that it wasn't meant to be.

I still wonder if I recur in your memories
Or have I faded into the blue seas
Do I ever suddenly reemerge from words
Or in some of the songs you have heard.

You probably don't, but I sometimes do
I sometimes stop and think about you
I'm unsure of why I still relapse
But it felt like my heart is in traps.

I do appreciate everything you've given me
No matter how short that came to be
It felt amazing and magical the same
And I promise my heart, I will tame.

...I bid you goodbye...
how do you love?
i can't imagine you've never given it
yet, you clearly lack the etiquette

how do you love?
you're transparent
but not in the way that light shines though

how do you love?
truthfully the question is no surprise
you know only lust in disguise

how do you love?
This poem isn't complete
War is coming, it is on its way.
Don’t try to hide, it will find you anyway.

War is coming, what will you do?
Will you resist its power or just let it through?

War is coming, it is now or never.
You either get to run or stay forever.

War is coming, are you still here?
You’ve had your chance, the end is near.

War is coming, stand tall among the white knights.
Tonight we die with honor and fight for what is right.

War is coming, it is just a footstep away.
But we will not surrender, and never will we obey.

War is here, and it shows you no mercy.
Bodies are falling to the ground, it is bloodthirsty.

War is here, death is all around.
The cannons are blowing, you can’t hear a sound.

War is here, now you are all alone.
As it stabs through your chest, you fade towards the unknown.

War is over, not a single eye is left dry.
You fought bravely, it’s alright to say goodbye.
With his curly ginger hair, wild like a lions mane,
he just have to give you one look before you go insane.
He knows he is charming and he knows it so well,
that he finds joy in casting this inescapable spell.

His eyes are like the abyss: dark, cold and deep.
They consume the soul, make your mind go to sleep.
He has damaged you already and you think he is your remedy.
If you could just open your eyes and see his true identity.

With a longing for love and hoping it would float,
you went right in his trap to get him: the antidote.
But instead he fed you up with toxic dreams and lies.
Because this is what he is: poison in disguise.
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