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 May 2014 Bails B
Auss
worst lie
 May 2014 Bails B
Caitlin
Scars
 May 2014 Bails B
Caitlin
I am a collection of scars.
Each tells a story.
Some from a childhood of laughter and a carefree attitude,
others from lonely nights in the shadows with anxiety riddled thoughts pressing down on me;
as I pressed down on the blade.
Excerpt from a short story I am writing.
 May 2014 Bails B
Caitie
She pulls down her long sleeves
To hide all the memories scars leave
She says, "Maybe making me bleed
Will be the answer that could wash the slate clean"
 May 2014 Bails B
first last
"So what does depression feel like"*

It feels like trying to run through the sand after you have just climbed out of the ocean.

Like trying desperately to hang on to the merry-go-round spinning out of control.

Like struggling to keep your head above water in a wave pool.

Like trying to climb up a steep slide and slipping down just as you almost reach the top.

Like gasping for air after you've had the wind knocked out of you.

Like having a crush on life knowing life will never like you back.

Do you understand now?
Listen, I understand that being happy isn't all that artistic.
That loneliness, anger and self hatred are trendier
than being content.
Unrequited love, jealousy and deep-seeded unquenched desire
mathematically recorded in clever metaphor and
unexpected similes simply sell better than stanzas
sifting and shifting to shape a smile.
But writing is a form of expression, I can only mirror myself.
If only I could express to you fully how amazing it feels
to finally look into that mirror to see me completely
with every flaw, every blemish,
every pimple, every crazy strand of curly frizzy hair,
every tan line, every inch of stretch-marked blotchy skin,
every pet peeve, every tear, every inch of stubbornness,
every reckless thought, every word I've desperately written,
every choice I ever made and truly love every bit of it.
I imagine it feels like moving the ocean; I'm a shining beautiful moon.
 May 2014 Bails B
Madhurima
I'm scared
scared of things ending
scared of patterns breaking
scared of dreams broken
scared of words unspoken
scared of time going by
scared of a disappointed sigh
scared of a painful shove
scared of never finding love

But I'm also happy
happy about things ending
happy about patterns breaking
happy about dreams fulfilled
happy about silences killed
happy about times gone by
happy about nights ended on a high
happy about a friendly shove
happy about our one-time love
 May 2014 Bails B
lost girl
Happy
 May 2014 Bails B
lost girl
I should be happy.

I woke up alive and well,
I should be happy.

I have new books to read,
I should be happy.

I have 490 songs on my iPod,
I should be happy.

I have good grades in school,
I should be happy.

I have friends who I can talk to and fangirl with,
I should be happy.

I'm young, I have my whole life ahead of me,
I should be happy.

I should be happy,
I'm not happy.

(a.d)
 May 2014 Bails B
Lunar
beware when you fall in love
with an artist
be it a painter, a singer, or poet

for the artist will
paint you
with strokes and hues
in shapes of every kind

sing about you
with heartbreak lyrics
and feelings which rhyme

write about you
with the simplest words
and a secret message she wants to say

beware of the artist,
and her love
one wrong move
and you're an artwork in her display
 May 2014 Bails B
Lunar
two fragile hearts made up of glass
everyone could see right through them both
only they themselves couldn't see the reality

both fell for each other
and whatever falls
will end up breaking

now those two once-glass hearts
shattered into a million emotional pieces

now those two once-glass hearts
will never find their missing parts

now those two once-glass hearts
have turned into nothing
but back into crushed sand
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