Many years passed like a blur
I thought I'm over you
But why is it my heart run wild
whenever i get a glimpse of you
I wish you knew how afraid I am you might hear it beating
I wish you knew how hard it is for me not to tell you this
Why do you keep messing with my head?
Why do you have to keep me up all night?
And bother me even when I'm sleeping
But every time I think of it
All of it lead to the same conclusion
It's hard but I have to accept it
I have to move on
But every time I take a step forward
I still came back to the same spot
Even though I keep telling myself that you'll never like me
No, not again
But why am I still stuck?
Why do I feel the urge of taking care of you?
I want to hug you
So tight it will be harder for you to breathe
I want to make you feel that theres no need to feel alone, to feel empty
I want to pat your head while caressing your hair
To remind you how worthy you are to me and that you should never looked down to yourself
If you could only see how high I think of you
But I guess I can't do that
I have no right to do that
Then that just leaves me with one thing to do, to wish.
To wish that someone would do that for you
Someone who will make you feel whole
Someone who will make you smile
And someone who will wipe your worries and tears away
All I wish is for you to be happy
To the point where you won't need alcohol and nicotine to fill the emptiness
Could you atleast do that for me?
You owe me that for all the pain you've caused me haha kidding
But seriously I don't regret any of it
You know what there's a saying,
"No one could ever avoid pain, for it demands to be felt"
But I also believe that you can choose who will cause you that pain
And if that person is worth the suffering
I already said it but i will say it again
YOU ARE WORTH IT
So could you be healthy and happy?
Saranghaeyo.
Annyeonghi gyeseyo

As the dawn comes I tried to write
Sealing words with promises I keep hoping
Although none of it will ever come
Still my heart can't stop assuming

He'll love me today and will leave by tomorrow
Without any trace that both of us ever met
I felt cheap and at the same time used
Yet, I keep waiting for this boy

As I watched the stars and the moon above
There's a building pain inside my chest
While my body aches for exhaustion
This boy consumed a lot from me

And before I close my eyes
All I hear is a sad song
A melody that does not belong to mine
But keeps my heart beating

Love is a disease
It is a crime
It drives people insane
And may lead to death if you have it and if you don't
A partial death that will change everything
Some can escaped but some cannot
Those who escape are reborn to be a better person
But those who cannot are still stock in the past grieving
Love is always accompanied with pain
It requires suffering and sacrifices
But even though love is inconsistent
I still prefer not to be cured
Because we will never be truly happy if were not unhappy sometimes.

Sometimes I wish I could tell someone everything, but I just couldn't.

What if I can bring back time
Will I change my mind?
Will I choose you?
What if for once I tried to fight
Will I be happy?
Won't I regret it?
What if I don't listen to what other says
Will they stop bickering?
Will they finally understand?
What if I don't push you away
Will you stay?
Will you prove them wrong?
What if you don't get tired
Will we be together?
Will there be forever?
What if all of these can be true
Will I put my hopes up?
Or will I realize that these are just what ifs~

I'm panting
But still wanting
You're suffocating
Yet it's intoxicating
Whenever your near
I tend to break down
A sudden burst of adrenaline
Can't keep me on the ground
I want to scream
I want to fly
I want to do everything to try
But you found me
You looked at me directly in the eye
Like I'm the only good thing left on earth
There's no talking
Yet our hearts seemed to comprehend
What we wanted to say
Our hands start touching
You held me like a fragile material
So excited yet so afraid I might break
And then you smile
And you say those words I really wanted to hear
And I can't say a thing
Cause you leave me breathless

I know we're done
I've seen this coming
Those ties binding our heart
Break all of a sudden
I've watched as we started building walls
Made with shame and guilt
I am there when our world shift into a different axis
A world without me and you
I've noticed how our everything turns to nothing
Those cold treatments
Those eyes that seemed to focus on anything but me
And those smiles I wished I was the reason
I know its the end of our story
But I don't want a trajic ending
I'm still hoping one day you'll come back
And together we'll break these borders

He made a game
That no one could play
Playing with fire
With his deadly smiles
Heavenly voice
Hide the devil inside
He's a victor
But not a hero
Soon he will fall
Torn into pieces
With his silly jokes
Fascinated by beauty
He made a collection
Manipulating emotions
Like a piece of cake
No questioning
He's definitely the
Mastermind

An abrupt feeling
Ashamed to be acknowledge
But made its way through
Each loving hearts
Destructive if overrated
But a proof of true love
It would change you
Make you self conscious
And it will teach you the art of comparing
It would fill you with doubts
And questions
And in the end it would lead to fractures and cracks
That you can no longer repair
And soon everything you hold on to
Will slowly slip away
Until there's nothing left
Just because you let that
Pang of jealousy into you

In just a thought
I could make a poem or even a home
Making every words blend
or taking all the chores lend
In just a thought
I could be a captain or an evil villain
Learning how to sail
Or wishing you to fail
In just a though
I could get anything I wanted
I would be anyone I dreamed off
*Well, Its just a thought

My head spins
I think I'm losing my sanity
And all i can think of is you
Your voice
Such a beautiful melody
Makes me think of heaven
I feel like flying
So high i can't see anything
Your eyes
So consuming
Makes me tipsy every time i stare
I'm not drunk nor drugged
But baby, you made me feel
Intoxicated

Behind these mask
Lies another being
Silent and waiting
Kept hidden with those fancy smile
From the inside she's screaming
She said she's tired of pretending
But she keeps on hoping
That someday she'll be truly free
Her heart is breaking
And she's afraid of showing
So she kept on disguising
Wearing those mask of nothing

The sight of him
Makes my limbs tremble
Makes my hands shake
And it makes me panic
He held me captive like a damsel in distress
Weak and can't even move an inch
But he's not a prince
Not even the knight
Because in this story we've made
His the bad guy
I can't count how many times he tried to **** me
He stab me directly in the chest
And do nothing to heal it
I feel the pain but I can't see the mark
I feel bleeding but there's no blood
I feel dead but im still breathing
My heart is shattering into a million pieces
And your company is the reason of all of it
But I can't let go
I cannot afford to lose you
Even if it means losing everything in the process
Because I'm numb , I'm dumb
And I'm frozen

Life is like travelling an endless road
You have to choose what path to be taken
The right one ? Or the left one?
It's upon your choice to be either good or bad
But everything's a risk, an adventure
Because what awaits on the end of the lane is a mystery for you to unravel
You will encounter humps and slippery pavements
You might bump or fall
But it's all part of it
You will have to continue
Hindrances can't stop you from reaching your destination
It will just leave a mark
A proof that you gained something
A lot of people will be with you along the way
Many just passed by
But there's still a few to remain
That would either make you or destroy you
It's on your will to let them
But those people who never leaved
Even though the road is rough
Will be your great companions
Till the very end of your
Journey

Tick Tock*
In just a matter of second,
Many things could happen
Everything could change
Time travels so fast
we can't catch its pace
We can't bring back time
But it could be wasted
It could be spent based on our will
Its upon our choice to spend it wisely
So if you keep living in the past
Time won't stop for you
It won't wait till you move
It will just keep on progressing
Leaving you hanging and grieving
Till you realize that every minute you spent on that world of yours
Reminiscing, crying and hoping
Is not worth all your time
So when you came back to reality
Thinking everything will be back to normal
You're wrong
Because time is like a robber
And could steal everything from you
In just a blink of an eye

A incredible word which possessed everything
A virtue that is hard to gain but easy to lose
Its as fragile as glass and can be broken with a single mistake
Just like any damaged material
respect can be sometimes impossible to remake
The cracks and fragments of a shattered trust will be still visible
and time can't heal it
Sometimes its more than love
Because what is love without respect?
Its nothing, Its nothing but lust

There's this one sheet of paper i crumpled when we took separate paths
The only thing he's left for me
Reminding those days we've been together
Those endless days that pass just like a bliss
Leaving me shocked and broken
This single sheet i tried to throw so many times i lose count
That ended up locked in a dark, cold chest across my room
When i thought i was finally ready
My hands were shaking and my breath was uneven
I closed my eyes till i unlocked the box
I'm hurt with the sudden burst of light
Images kept flickering in my head
Every single moment i tried to forget for so long
Every single emotion i kept
Forming a flashback that made my heart stop for so many times
How could this letter broke the wall I've build up myself for a long time?
How could it bring life to those feelings i thought was finally gone?
I don't realize how affected i was
until i saw a single drop of water fall through the paper
My head spins and in any time i would faint
Its like the whole world came crashing to me again
Breaking every bones and taking every breath
I screamed until there's no voice left
I cried until there's nothing to shed
But why can't i forget him when the only thing he's left for me
is this one crimson letter

Who are you to judge?
A person called a murderer
Who made his hands ***** because he's provoke
Because he choose to live
An old man who robbed a store
Because he's desperate, hungry and sick
Whose mother is dying in the hospital and has no money to extend her life
A mother who leave her child
She, who doesn't have the privilege to study and live a normal life
Because she doesn't think she's good enough to support
her daughter's needs

Who are you to judge this people?
Don't you have mistakes of your own?
Who are you to say harsh words to them?
And who are you to exclude them from second chances?

How do we differ from murderers
If we wish those people we hate to death
How do we differ from robbers
If we steal their chances to be better, to be something different
And how do we differ from mothers who leave their children
If we abandoned those people who deserve forgiveness

Who are we to judge?
We're not god almighty
And we don't know their story
So cut the crap and stop judging

Have you imagined yourself in a middle of a field?
Alone and left enchanting with the beauty of nature
Captivated with its attractive creatures
Thanking god for making all this blessings
Fascinated by how he trust us to nourish his creation
Feeling like you might explode any time
Because your heart is overloading with different emotions
Hope, faith and love

It makes you speechless at the same time teary eyed
You don't know how you can reciprocate his glory
And you feel like you deserve none of this things
This clean air that provides you life
Those grasses with its perfect shade of green that relaxes you
Those trees with its fruits that provide shelter and food
Those weird noises of the insects at night that lulled us to sleep

Little things that we forget to be grateful
We're blinded by our progress that we neglect our own origin
Have you ever thank god for this?
We just bypass this things just like we bypass others
Because we are self-centered, selfish and always seeking for more
We are not satisfied, We are not contended
But at least can we thank god for this things that seemed nothing?

Have you tried being so close to a person yet feels so far?
He's just beside you but his thought is out of reach
You're together but you know you can never have him
He said he loves you but you feel nothing
No passion, no feelings and especially no love at all

You always ask yourself what is wrong with you
Am i enough for him?
If i will stay with him for a little while, will he recognize my efforts?
Will he love me back?

But you're wrong, very very wrong
Because honey you're beautiful, you're smart
And there is nothing wrong about you
You just pick the wrong guy
And soon he will realize that he's a ****
a ******* and a fool for hurting someone like you

It will take you some time for you to move on
But you won't have any regrets because you did you're best
You did everything to fix this, to stay with him
But his just the wrong guy
So you better wait
Because the right one is just on his way

Since when i was a kid, I never cared about numerals
I never really appreciated it when they thought me to count
One, Two, Three. Oh please that's enough
While i was growing up, math isn't my favorite one
I was always caught sleeping during math classes
It doesn't matter to me even if i have few or many friends
As long as i have someone to talk with I'm contended with it
Being on the honor roll wasn't my priority
And grades are just numbers that can't bring me down
Id rather go to movie than open my calculus book
I always think that its just a waste buying it
But what is it with you that makes me care about numbers
First thing in the morning you're the only one i want to see
Those pointed nose, Those thin lips
And especially the way you look when you're sleeping
You're the only one i see to get my hands from my loving parents
And the only person i want to see standing in the front of the church
While i walk on the aisle wearing my most dazzling smile
The only partner that will be with me forever
And the only father of my children
Because I'm willing to forget all the other numbers except for one
Because I want to be you're only **one

Once while raining i looked at the glass window
Not to see the spectacle but to see myself
But I'm taken aback with what i saw
A girl I didn't know was staring at me
And I eagerly ask my self who she is
Is she the ever-loving daughter at this house?
Or the  girl who seemed born to please others?
Her bright smile which she never forget to wore
Her silly jokes who makes everyone at ease
And her laugh so genuine always lighten up the atmosphere
But have you looked in her eyes?
Have you tried staring directly at it?
Because it tells another story
Her eyes so pure seemed to have a voice of its own
screaming, searching and pleading
Her gaze is lethal and as broke as she is from the inside
Even the most alluring smile can't hide the loneliness in her eyes
If you'll just pay attention
You will see her heart through her eyes shattering into pieces,
abandoned in a dark cold place and silently shouting
**"It's not me, Its fake"