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Dec 2014 · 749
Self Halrm
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
At first
my canvas
it was empty
but as the pain
got more difficult
more consuming
it began to fill
and it shows
not only my pain
but all of the other emotions
but pain and sadness
they are the most difficult
i look
not only
at this mostly full canvas
but at the beauty
of it
why is it
I never saw the beauty
of a blank canvas
before it was full
Dec 2014 · 1.7k
Sleepless Night
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
the hours struck off
faint whispers
within an empty room
nothing im not used to
I lay in bed
the walls began to consume me
slowly closing around me
breathing gets harder
I choke for air
its no where to be found
a pressure
begins to sink upon my chest
theres no easy way out
I look
for an explanation
and everything
suddenly is okay again
a raven
caws in the distance
another soul has been stolen
am i still alive
was it my soul?
I float above my body
maybe I finally fell asleep
and this is only
a wonderful nightmare
my silver thread is gone
I look up
theres no light
i am doomed for eternity
to wander aimlessly
among this god forsaken planet
an hope someone
will  stumble upon
my now decaying corpse
after all I chose solitude
I chose to be forever
within these wall
and now
it was my fate
no chance
to ever change
it"ll be more peaceful this way
Dec 2014 · 535
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
I dont fear it
most do
it will happen whether
you fear it or not
so why waste your life
waiting for death
and instead
I choose
to live one day at a time
when I die
i lived a life
i can be proud of
and not regret
fearing something
that everyone
has to do
Dec 2014 · 2.2k
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
We all
go through tough times,
the best of us
only have a few
the strongest people
have time and time again
been let down
step on
taken forgranted
drug around
and we
tend to be one
of two things,
either bitter
like candy gone stale
and never will trust again
we pick ourselves up
brush ourselves off
fake a smile
and help other through
their problems
because no one,
was there for us.
but never
will we wish
our pain
on to someone else
because we know how it feels
and what good
is a miserable world?
Dec 2014 · 845
Teenage years
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
Wild and crazy
study filled
cramming for exams
college applications

Some people are wolves
within packs
always on the hunt
whether thats for
the hottest trend
or the
the newest boy toy

Some are as solitary
as a tiger
and constantly ready to fight

many are bees
in large group
all for the same goal

Many couples
want to believe theyre like penguins
but in all reality
theyre just looking to mate

But the ones that do find their penguin
their mate
for the rest of their lives
within a high school
good luck to you
Dec 2014 · 576
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
How does Christmas day go?
12am still cant sleep,
its Christmas
run down stairs
wait moms still asleep
maybe just a peek first
wake up mom
wake up dad
Merry Christmas

As children
we were all that way
so happy                                   ,
so merry
so ready for  Christmas day
but as we get older we see the truth,
and the lies
Santa isnt really
its only the the Christmas spirit
and sometimes
in the worst cases
Christmas means good bye
say goodbye to your money
and hello to a living room
full of presents.

But its all worth it
ya know?
To now see
why your parents did it for so many years
now to see
your children's faces
light up
exactly like the lights
wrapped around the Christmas tree

Christmas isnt about the presents
though so many people think it is
it becomes a time
to be with you family
and though your children,
they'll wont see it
see what you went through
to get them everything
everything they wanted
but once they do
they'll understand
just as you do now
exactly why you did it
Dec 2014 · 310
Writing process
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
Your brain is overflowing,
constantly coming up
with new ideas,
dig deeper
and you'll only find more
even unique things,
the problem always arises
when you try to get them on paper,
words never flow together right,
the idea is there
but not the words to portray
exactly just what you mean,
so you sit wanting to write
and not being able to.
then everything
hits you
all the words
every idea
the stars align.
the world becomes yours
That is the life,
of a poet
Dec 2014 · 348
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
for what you may ask
well you left me
you tore my existence apart
made my world disintegrate
but yet i thank you
ever wonder why?
well youve made me
just that much
Dec 2014 · 13.9k
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
How do you describe
the indescribable
what is black
"well its a color"
no describe it
what does it look like
how about red?
What do you think of when you think red?
but what is it
Dec 2014 · 20.1k
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
Dark gray abis
you peer down
pure darkness
but out of the dark
shines a bright brilliant light
but here the catch
the abis is my life
and the light
well thats you
Dec 2014 · 4.9k
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
I remember when
when we used to be happy
when your face would light up
with your amazing smile
your eyes would sparkle
i could tell
everyone could
we were truly happy
the downfall broke us
it broke both of us
i hated it
but now youre with her
your face
is dull
the smile
i fell inlove with
was no longer present
everyone could see the difference
i dont even know you anymore
Dec 2014 · 22.9k
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
people do things
bad things
things that hurt you
physically and emotionally
but the key to happiness
in that sense
is to accept
the apologies you never recieved
Dec 2014 · 1.0k
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
I stand
so strong
blow by blow
crack after crack
I stand
I had a strong foundation
and that was you
it turns out
Im my own demise
I blew my own foundation
out from under me
and now I crumble
Im the weakest I've ever been
For those of you who read my work "John" this was written long before that. It has absolutely nothing to do with that work.
Dec 2014 · 1.8k
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
One year
five months
apon myself
I've slipped
into nothing
why on earth
am i still here
my mind is telling me
somethings wrong
but yet
I still go on
thats where i belong
Dec 2014 · 1.7k
Alyssa kasper Dec 2014
Everything ends
and the only thing endless
is merely a made up concept
used for organizational purposes
Nov 2014 · 809
Alyssa kasper Nov 2014
Two black birds
Land on my window pane
They hop  bit then flutter away
Not a thing could be done
Their leaving was inevitable
As the flew away
Im left in awe
How could something
So intelligent
Could seem not to care at all
Another bird landed
This one
More colorful
He looked at me
Hopped a few steps
Then spoke
he sang a beautiful tone
Then flew away
Nov 2014 · 389
Alyssa kasper Nov 2014
My life was the darkest cave
But you became the fire to brighten all of my days
Oct 2014 · 8.4k
Alyssa kasper Oct 2014
Slowly slipling
Slowly fading
Into darkness
Into nothingness
I hang
On the edge
One hand
I try to hold on
The other
It's gone too
Slowly  consumes
Everywhere I look darkness
Slight laughter
But it creeps
A light flickers on
Its over head
A clown emerges
Its tward the corner
Black paint
Sinister smile
My sanity
Grip on reality
Slowly fading
Laughter again
This time from the Clown
Were more alike
Than you tought
Me and the clown you see
Look at him now
Seems hes lost it too
Not all works are from my perspective, this is one of them.

— The End —