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Oct 2016 · 250
Familiar Lyrics
Sam Oct 2016
Call me a something
Treat me cruel
We don't belong here

I don't belong here
Not in this atmosphere
Goodbye
We Don't Belong Black Veil Brides
Human Race Three Days Grace
Oct 2016 · 130
Fight
Sam Oct 2016
Fight for all you know

How am I supposed to, when

everything I know is wrong?
everything I believe is wrong?

everything I fought for, is *gone
.
What is left to pick me back up again?
Oct 2016 · 408
Around
Sam Oct 2016
My head travels.
Was taken out of one,
and put in another.

No matter where I travel,
it will follow.

The constant dizziness,
The constant spinning,
The constant cycle.
To talk is to analyze
To analyze is to speculate
To speculate is to hurt
To hurt is to...
Oct 2016 · 187
Little Thoughts #5
Sam Oct 2016
I'm just sitting here,
feeling the pain.
Nothing will ever be the same.

I don't know how,
to keep going strong,
when it will haunt me lifelong.

It's not my fault,
at least so they say,
but I'm still and never will be okay.
Sorry for all of the poems
Oct 2016 · 132
Never
Sam Oct 2016
A promise is a promise.
Never forget.

Don't let the music fade.
Never forget.

Never forget the promise you made.
Stay Alive.
Oct 2016 · 158
Last Words
Sam Oct 2016
Tears fill my eyes as I read over the words again,
I don't know what to do now.

It has happened, I hurt all over.
I don't know what to think.

I never thought I'd see that word again,
I guess I was wrong.
Oct 2016 · 664
Movement
Sam Oct 2016
Its the same movement,
The results are different.

Beauty is created,
instead of the pain
Sam Oct 2016
Taking my time,
My dignity gone.
I hate that I do this,
resort back to normal.

When can I go back to being different?
Will I ever be allowed?

I push myself to the different,
and feel free and joyful.
I turn to look at my past,
I see the happiness I had before,
and I run back to being normal.
just a little more based off of the other poem
Oct 2016 · 1.6k
Society's Happiness
Sam Oct 2016
Expression.
It’s all in how we look,
How we act.

Society.
Limits our expression,
Shows us what we can and can’t be.

Women.
We are told to be perfect,
Told what to look like and how to act.
Each day, something new is added
whether it is something to be skinnier,
Or something to change our face.

We are roped into a battle,
Being dragged by society's standards.
The words used are like guns.
Each hurtful phrase heard
is like a bullet tearing through the heart.

It hurts to hear society’s views,
Society’s opinions.

What do we follow?
We are told to be ourselves,
But who is that?

Ourselves. Myself. Yourself.
The people we are trying to figure out.
The people who we want to find,
But can’t.

We are pressured and indoctrinated with styles,
With trends,
With things that are “normal.”

Normal.
What is Normal?
Who came up with this silly term?

Normal.
Something everyone is striving to be,
But lose themselves trying to find.
Something everyone longs to be called,
Even if it hurts their reality.
Something everyone is forced into,
With nobody knowing the true outcome.

Weird.
Is what people think when they see people who are not “normal.”
People who do not fit society’s standards,
Society’s expression.

What people don’t see, is the happiness.
The people who you deem “not normal,”
Have found themselves.
Have found who they truly are,

Happiness.
Is what you get when you finally find yourself,
When you can express who you are freely,
Without fear of being hurt, or judged.

Happiness.
Is what you get when everyone is equal,
When everyone was the same rights,
Without loopholes and sly backdoors.

Happiness,
is you.
Who you are.
Not society’s view,
But your own expression.

You.
Who is Free.
Who is Joyful.
You, who is Happy.
Writing a poem for my English class,
still in the editing process, but I like where it is now, so I figured I'd post it :)
Oct 2016 · 177
_ _ _ _
Sam Oct 2016
Something that goes through your mind constantly.

Someone who always sneaks up into your thoughts.

A feeling so strong, so powerful.

Something that will never be forgotten.
Love or Hate?
You choose.
For me? it changes, and doesnt stop
Oct 2016 · 467
Archives
Sam Oct 2016
Going through the motions,
Without looking back.

Stop

Take a moment.

Reread your past,
Relive those fleeting moments that won't return.
Revive you.

Step back into your moments of hate,
of love,
of happiness.

Feel yourself take the time machine back
into times of crises,
times of confusion.

Look.
Look at who you have become,
the tragedies you have faced,
and the strength given.
the joy you have experienced,
and the memories to remember.
the love you have shown,
and the endless amount yet to come.

Your life is precious
Take time out of your busy day,
and check your archive.

Reflect, Remember, *Reread
Oct 2016 · 119
Ignore
Sam Oct 2016
It makes me sick to hear,
I hate that tone.
I don't like it.

It hasn't bothered me before,
but all of a sudden, I can't stand.
Why?

I may never find truth,
but I do know one thing,
I am going to stop listening.

I will ignore,
because I am not that person.
Never was, never want to be.
October 13, 2016
Oct 2016 · 400
My baby
Sam Oct 2016
The little fur ball,
The one who is always excited to see me.
Running, Barking, Playing.

My little brown eyes,
The one who snuggles up to me when I'm sad.
Cuddling, Snuggling, Petting.

My little woof woof,
The one who barks at literally everything, but still makes me laugh.
Jumping, Rolling, Woofing

My pride and joy,
The little ball of fluff that stole my heart five years ago,
with his little woofs,
his sweet little face.

Even though the little nut is so much to handle,
He will forever and always will be,
*my baby
Oct 2016 · 199
I am drifting away
Sam Oct 2016
I am flowing down the river of life,
In the beginning, the sea was calm.
No rapids, just a slight breeze.
Eventually the current grew stronger,
Trees and rocks began to block my path.
I was dodging, moving in and out between the obstacles.
I find myself getting tired,
I don't want to dodge anymore.
Instead, I find myself wishing I could just
d r i f t   a w a y
Old poem I revised
Oct 2016 · 135
Optimism
Sam Oct 2016
The light from the full moon,
that keeps me alive in the **darkness
Oct 2016 · 221
answers
Sam Oct 2016
for nobody knows the true reasons,
some things just happen.
i cannot choose my emotions,
for they are chosen for me.
i am incapable of the hate being spoken of,
i will never be capable.

for doing things to me does not cause hate,
it causes disappointment.
i will only hate, if something was done to those i love.

lessons will be taken from this,
i do not have to be the one enforcing it.
because you are hating yourself,
more than i deserved to hate you.
you are punishing yourself,
more than anyone ever would.

so now stop this hate,
stop desiring the hurt.
because i will never give you the hate you want.

give up on trying, because it will never work,
you can try to convince me of the hurt.
i will not take it, i will not budge.
i stick to my guns

*i do not and will not ever hate you
Oct 2016 · 303
Window Pane
Sam Oct 2016
Through the glass I look,
the window that divides.
I see the beauty of the sparkling rivers,
the bright and cheerful flowers,
and the colorful leaves as they fall from the tree.
I hear the notes of the birds
as they tell a story through their graceful song.
The crack in the window brings in the comforting smell of
the fresh, crisp outdoors.
All this divided by a piece of glass,
A glass that lets me see, lets me hear,
but keeps me away.
Oct 2016 · 573
W[hole]
Sam Oct 2016
In all those moments I thought it was over,
I felt happy,
like the family was finally whole again.

I now realize,
it wasn't over at those times.
It was just hidden from me.

It has escalated to the point,
that they are willing for me to hear.
I just sit there confused.

In the thoughest of times,
They will always be there for me,
but not for eachother.

For at once I thought my family was whole,
Though I have come to realize,
There is a hugh hole...

*...and that's not what I wanted.
Oct 2016 · 823
There is a reason
Sam Oct 2016
The sun rises,
The sky gets grey.

The internet runs,
The phone dies.

The music blares,
The dark stays.

The shade stays closed,
The door says shut.

There is a reason,
*for everything
Oct 2016 · 566
Vase
Sam Oct 2016
The flower droops,
showing its true colors.
Leaves fall to the floor,
all shriveled and brown.
The little old vase was all that was left,
It's steardy glass held in the water
to keep the flower alive.
Around the rim, cracks began to form.
Nothing was done to fix them,
they were little, they didn't matter.
But today, they grew large.
The vase broke, water spilled everywhere
and the flower was left,
laying on the floor,
*helpless
Oct 2016 · 130
Little Thoughts #4
Sam Oct 2016
The thought puzzles me.
At first I thought it would be.
but because of the circumstances,
Would it actually?
Just thinking out loud
Oct 2016 · 299
[Can]'t
Sam Oct 2016
I can't take back what I said.
I can't travel back in time to reverse the outcome.
I can't magically make everything perfect.

I can sit here, and wait.
I can get up, and move on.
I can switch back and forth, never finalizing a decision.

I can't choose,
I can't know what the future holds,
I can't forget.

I can keep asking,
I can keep clarifying.
I can stay.

Can't I?
I don't know, I just, I need, I want, I can't, I-I just don't know.
Oct 2016 · 134
Ocean
Sam Oct 2016
It's true what they say:

*Once it starts,
it doesn't stop
Oct 2016 · 158
Wishes
Sam Oct 2016
I wish there was a way...
I wish I could...
I wish...
I can wish all I want,
They won't come true.
Because my first wish,
still has yet to be delivered.
{I apologize}
Oct 2016 · 192
Abilities
Sam Oct 2016
I know now I have the ability,
I was scared for so long that I was broken.
But turns out, I wasn't.
Because water doesn't flow from the vase,
unless a crack has been put in it.
Oct 2016 · 1.1k
Genre
Sam Oct 2016
The genres in life,
change everything.

Feeling happy:
Country

Feeling confused:
Alternative

Feeling upset:
Hard Rock

Feeling sad:
Slow Country

Feeling powerful:
Rap

Feeling excited:
Kpop

Music can change moods,
It can be played anytime.
When it matches up with the mood,
Circuts connect,
Everything finally feels right.
Oct 2016 · 503
Here and Now
Sam Oct 2016
Things near and far,
will never change,
the here and now.

Things can  last forever,
or never start,
Nobody can see in the furture.

Things will prospure,
and never lose.
the positives.

Things will end,
and never begin,
the negatives.

Things near and far,
will never change,
the hear and now
Oct 2016 · 259
The Battle
Sam Oct 2016
just say the words, ******
come on, you don't have all day
(whispers) I-I-.....
******, they didn't even hear you try
The action races through my head,
the possibilities are endless.
Can't I just text them, Won't that be easier??
No, Sam, no. you have to do this in person
"I am...."
they still didn't hear you, you were always too quiet
come on, you had enough strength the first time
little bit more, you got this
"
I* am..."
say it, look they stopped talking for you
come on, now you made it more awkward
"Are you okay?"
"Oh What? Silly me, yes of course I am fine. I just wanted to tell you something"
nice save? not really, now you have their full attention
"Okay, I'm here, what is it?"
****** ****** ****** I can't do this nope nope nope
breathe, you got this
why is this so hard? I've done this before
oh my god are you actually doing this
is this a good idea
run, run as fast as possible back to the closet
NO GOD ****** SAM JUST SAY IT
"I'm gay, not straight. Well, maybe I'm bisexual, I'm not sure yet."
what the **** was that
oh god what do they think of me
silence...silence not good NOT GOOD
and um you identify as biromantic homosexual, but sure close enough
STILL SILENCE SAY SOMETHING
"Oh! I wasn't expecting that, but okay! Whomever you love is fine with me"
"I-uh-um-Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means to me....
I'm rambling
I can't stop myself from going on
what am I even saying anymore?
oh god I can't stop shaking
it's okay, they accept you, you're fine
or am I fine
Do they actually accept me?
How do I know the truth?
SHHHHH JUST STOP SAM YOUR FINE GOD
...and so basically Thank you so much again."
silence again, I said too much
I'm just going to stop talking....
...and thinking
they can do the rest of the work
*because in reality, that was **** exhausting
Oct 2016 · 755
Circles
Sam Oct 2016
Around and around,
there is no end.
Just continues forever
When I was a little girl,
I loved spinning.
Rides at the park,
the slides took me on an adventure.
I would twirl around,
Just to feel my long hair blow in the wind.
Dancing, Singing, and Enjoying.
That is what I used to think.
Now circles are different.
I'm falling over, tumbling down.
I am no longer enjoying,
I get nauseous, I can't handle.
I'm getting dizzy by my thoughts,
When can I get off this carousal of confusion?
Oct 2016 · 166
Alone
Sam Oct 2016
I have friends who love me,
A family who cares for me,
even a dog who greets me at the door.
Why do I feel as if nobody is there?
Why do I feel enclosed in a box?
Why can't I ever break free?
I am not alone, I am never alone.
Then why do I always feel it?
Oct 2016 · 116
Sitting Here
Sam Oct 2016
Papers all around me,
A dog sprawled across them.
I have a computer on my lap,
A phone by my side.
I can contact people in a heart beat,
And could even hear their voice.
I have a closet full of clothes,
and a beautiful home full of furniture.
I have a fridge downstairs, with food galore,
And water that is nice and pure.
I have my friends, I have my family,
I have such wonderful opportunities that other people don't have.
I should feel lucky,
I should feel blessed,
Instead I feel alone, I feel helpless,
because I can't preform simple tasks,
and I can't help but feel
empty.
Literally rapid fire poems
because that's all I am capable of right now
Oct 2016 · 175
I wish I knew
Sam Oct 2016
What's going on?
Where everything should be?
Where everything actually is?
What should I be thinking?
How should I be acting?
Is anyone listening?
Does anyone actually know what is going on?
Please.
Inform me if you find out,
because I have no ******* clue.
Oct 2016 · 168
I've hurt long enough
Sam Oct 2016
I look all around
Other people are going through so much
my problems, my issues,
they are only minor,
they don't even matter.
Yet I accentuate them.
Like they are unstoppable,
but in reality,
all I have is a little anxiety.
These poems are and will be ****-I apologize now
Oct 2016 · 389
Regretful
Sam Oct 2016
I try, I can't
Everything is heavy all around.
I'm getting lost.
I fall, I stumble
I continue on, like nothing is wrong.
I'm losing.
I stop, I stare
I can't, Not anymore.
I lost.
I was told freshman year, that if I kept working as hard as I did, then I would eventually burn out. I didn't believe the teacher. Well, today, I've hit my point. Right now, I honestly could care less. I regret my decision to not follow what I was told.
Advice to anyone reading: Have balance in your life, I was told to do so, I did not listen. Save yourself while you still have the chance, otherwise before you know it,  it will all feels like nothing.
I just want to sleep....
Oct 2016 · 137
I don't know
Sam Oct 2016
If you are okay,
If you are alright.
You say you are fine,
I don't believe it.
You say everything is normal,
I know it isn't.
But I don't push,
I'm afraid you'll fall and break.
Old poem, but still applies
Oct 2016 · 298
To Wait
Sam Oct 2016
is to listen.
To be here and there.
In the wind,
As it spirals around.

is to be patient.
To stay put.
In the line,
As it moves forever.

is to forget.
To walk away.
In the confusion,
As it builds more.

is to see.
To observe.
In the community,
As it crumbles down.

is to stop.
To glace.
In the thought,
As it whirls whenever.

is to be.
To exist.
In the sadness,
As it eternally soars.
Oct 2016 · 309
Productivity
Sam Oct 2016
All relative.
I do many things,
My head races a mile a minute,
Maybe I'm not productive by society's view,
But I feel as though I am myself.
I am looking after myself and others,
I do things I deem as important.
Society makes everything important,
Why must I rank my priorities?
If only I could handle everything,
Then I could finally stay productive.
Oct 2016 · 290
Fading Fast
Sam Oct 2016
Don't let the Music within you Fade*
Don't let the music within you stop.
I will be here with my guitar,
ready keep your music going.
Sam Oct 2016
Can't y'all just shut up?
I turn up my music to ignore you,
you get louder.
I ******* hate this,
I always have.
Ever since I opened my eyes to reality.
I try to give signs, give signals,
that it bothers me oh so much.
Nobody picks them up, ever.
I lock myself away,
so nobody can get to me.
But sound still travels.
I hear everything.
Everyday it's something,
Whatever it may be, doesn't matter.
So thanks for sticking together,
even though I know you'd rather be apart.
I thought it was normal, until I met someone else.
Oct 2016 · 193
I'm dizzy...
Sam Oct 2016
Ahh for the cycles continue,
forever waiting for the end.
You never know whats really in you,
because you can no longer comprehend.

As you spin, the dizziness sets in.
You can no longer choose from right and wrong.
You force out a fake little grin,
to show everyone you are okay.

When in reality,
everything is spinning all around you,
and the only way to stop it,
is to jump off the wagon, and follow through.
Oct 2016 · 280
Little Thoughts #3
Sam Oct 2016
Don't give me hope
When you know there is none.
I do that too much already,
I don't need anyone else telling me too.
Not sure if this really counts as a little thought lol
eh oh well
Oct 2016 · 192
Buisness
Sam Oct 2016
What is in my head, is my buisness.
Unless I tell you, then its our buisness,
but not the buisness of those around us.
Same goes for you.
What you don't tell me, I don't need to know.
What you do tell me, Is your buisness alone.
Not hers, his, or theirs.
Your secrets are safe with me.
I've learned my lesson before.
Telling nobody, is better than telling all,
because it saves confusion in the end.
Oct 2016 · 163
Little Thoughts #2
Sam Oct 2016
Why does everything fun,
everything I desire,
give me the worst anxiety?
Oct 2016 · 376
Yahtzee
Sam Oct 2016
Rolling the dice,
Flipping the cup.
Always desiring all sixes,
or the best possible full house.
We get disappointed
when things don't go our way,
With Yatzee it's all luck,
there is no strategy with rolling the dice.
What you get, is what your score will be.
How things turn out,
Luck decides for you.
What will be your fate?
im very much enjoying these game refrences
even if they don't make sense to you
they make perfect sense to me :)
Oct 2016 · 626
Euchre
Sam Oct 2016
The game.
All about playing the cards right,
one slip up, and you could bring your team down.
You could lose the game.
To play the cards, takes time and patience.
You will renege,
You will take your partner's trick.
It's a learning process,
never gotten on the first try.
Never give up, because in the end,
You will be dealt a lay down loner.
Oct 2016 · 198
Crutch
Sam Oct 2016
I was once told not to rely on anything,
Use nothing as a crutch, it will do no good.
But if I can't walk without it,
Shouldn't I use it?
If I can't survive without it,
Shouldn't I keep it?
If it helps me through,
Shouldn't I listen to it?

Music

Distracts, submerges me into a different world.
It helps, It gives advice,
It makes me happy.
If I can't depend on it,
Then I won't.
Ill just use it,
For calmness,
For happiness,
and for the entirety of surviving.
But no, I am not depending,
I am only living.
Oct 2016 · 275
"Art"
Sam Oct 2016
It starts with one,
Expands into many.
You only see a few.
These were the beginning.
There are many more hidden,
Never to be shown.
They still hurt, maybe even more.
Continuing to grow
Until there is no room left.
June 20, 2016
Sam Oct 2016
I don’t understand.
I have never wanted to do this before.
I was always afraid of those who did.
Always afraid I would lose them,
Forever.
All I did was try it once
Never realizing what I was getting myself into.
All the stress piles up,
School, Sports, Society.
Never knowing where it’s coming from.
Never stopping.
“It will only happen during school” I say,
“It is only a onetime thing” I say.
Only it isn’t
It isn’t going to stop until life stops.
Forever.
June 20, 2016
Oct 2016 · 191
Maybe?¿
Sam Oct 2016
The feeling felt towards someone else,
Is the feeling I have for you.
Where does the cycle end?
Oct 2016 · 130
Confessions #2
Sam Oct 2016
I've tried my hardest,
It hasn't worked.
I can't
I won't,
because my mind doesn't want me to.
Something is telling me to hang on,
and this time, I will listen.
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