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Sep 2017 · 432
My love {of nature}
Sam Sep 2017
look out your window
the stars twinkle in the darkness, shining over the quiet night
i love you more than there are stars in the sky
the grass begins to sway in the little "wooshes" of the wind
there must be at least a million little blades of grass out there
and i love you more than that
the colors of the trees begin to change, giving beautiful hues of red, gold and orange
i love you more than the amount of leaves that will fall this autumn
my everything
my world
i love you
Jul 2017 · 556
Congratulations
Sam Jul 2017
Congratulations,* I whisper,
feeling myself sink in my chair
further down, hoping nobody will notice.
My heart is pounding,
pumping the terrors
that run through my veins.
I don't necessarily understand,
though I know **** well
what's ahead of me.
Good Luck, is whispered back,
answering my acclaim.
*You'll need it.
Jul 2017 · 203
Poetry
Sam Jul 2017
I've forgotten how to write
the words
they used to flow onto my paper
one by one, they'd complete my work
full emerson into the world of poetry
no distractions
no drawbacks
just the purity, the innocence
of poetry
Little over a year ago I began my poetry journey
May 2017 · 581
I Believe
Sam May 2017
Stay calm my dear child
It's going to be okay
I can promise you here
so please don't go astray

You are here for a reason,
you are strong and courageous  
I never give up on
things that last ages

Panic no more
For I send out my love
Let peace lay on you
like the light on a dove

I am with you always
I've always told you that
Don't you ever forget
what I laid out flat.
May 2017 · 1.3k
Point of No Return
Sam May 2017
The sparrow has turned into a hawk.
I will not apologize for learning how to fly,
but I will apologize for falling in the garden,
trampling over the orchids as I took flight.
How is the sparrow supposed to fly,
knowing she tore the orchids to shreds?
Apr 2017 · 206
s******t
Sam Apr 2017
i'm hurt
you're hurting me
*and whatever
Welp
Apr 2017 · 428
If I was good with words...
Sam Apr 2017
If I was good with words, where would I be?
Would I be in the position I am currently in?
Would I be better off?
Questions I've always had,
Answers never recieved.
Seriously though,
If I was good with words,
None of my messages would be interpreted wrong
None of my confrontations would end with the wrong impression
None of my presentations in class would consist of me babbling nonsense
And I would always know 100% that everything I said made sense,
because I'd be good with words.
Now, I know, People still may interpret things differently.
Someone might take my, "good worded phrase" and assume something else
I cannot change that, I know
But wouldn't that be cool if we could?
It would save hurt, and miscommunications
It would allow people to understand and move forward
It would bring about more happiness in the world, and that is something I truly care about
If I was good with words
I'd give someone the gift of happiness
Which is why, I'm setting a goal for myself
I'm going to try to work on my communication skills,
I'm going to try and better myself in anyway possible, for those around me, and for who I want to become

Take care of yourselves kids, stay safe and strong: you got this -(^-^)-
Apr 2017 · 301
Stargazing Thoughts #3
Sam Apr 2017
Tired Eyes
stargazing at night
Cold breeze
moves swiftly by the queit home
Deep Breaths
taken in, to calm and conquer
Natural High
*received through natures beauty
Apr 2017 · 226
Sheltering Similarities
Sam Apr 2017
I cry, laying here tonight
Listening to the pain of others
Her cries mirror mine.
Her cries, exceed mine.

I can't take that,
I'm so weak
Its been 3 months,
Why am I still so weak?

He was so intense
He was so extreme
Yet I can find similarities
In me, and, in the unspoken

I can't keep sheltering myself
from the pain and hurt
Yet, can't I enjoy being sheltered
for a little bit longer?
Stargazing thought #2
Apr 2017 · 567
Why does it bother me?
Sam Apr 2017
Is it because I'm worried?
Is it because I'm scared?
I just-it hurts...
I wish she knew it hurts...
Apr 2017 · 196
You've changed
Sam Apr 2017
You've changed...
I don't know when it started to happen,
but you have.
Its good for a couple days,
but other days, it hurts...
I should really have known.
I mean, it was bound to have happened.
I expected differently because of your initial response,
but I know, anyone in association can't be trusted.
I've been told that countless of times,
I never listened???
It's time I start learning my lessons.
I saw this coming but why does it still hurt
Apr 2017 · 169
I feel...
Sam Apr 2017
I feel restless
My neck hurts,
My back aches,
I need to move
My desire to explore
My deaire for adventure
*I want summer
Due dates, tests, AP's Exams, Cram filled Weekends-I need summer, Im slipping away, i need a break
Apr 2017 · 167
Lies
Sam Apr 2017
I'm fine
I'm really fine, definitely fine
Fine as fine could be
Never better! Not bad! I'm great,
I'm fabulous...I'm..fine....
im fine....
So I haven't done this-In forever honestly, but sorry for the spam-im extremely emotional and I have no idea why
Apr 2017 · 177
Changed
Sam Apr 2017
How did I get here?
     I've changed drastically since last year
Am I...a good person?
My mom once told my family
      I have been so good, for so long
                      It's only a matter of time
                        until they regret who I am.
Have I turned into the girl they regret?
Have I become the person they feared would come out?
       The person they feared I'd become?
If so, is it worth trying to fix?
         Because according to them,
                        *It was destined from the start
Am I supposed to regret who I am?
Apr 2017 · 170
Situations
Sam Apr 2017
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me*
Sure, that's a nice little saying,
but honestly...the truth?
Words can hurt.
Words can sometimes hurt more than actions,
or words can be a drive for actions to occur.
Seriously, just be respectful.
Take caution in the words you spill.
You don't know where those words will go,
or how far they will push.
You don't know how bad of a day they've had,
or how close they are to breaking.
I am not saying to censor entirely,
just-choose your words wisely,
for they are rarely ever forgotten.
Apr 2017 · 401
Twisted Tales
Sam Apr 2017
It's nice to know the standpoint I am seen at
How much the truth is twisted...
Is that really what I do?
Was that really who I was?
Because the facts I have,
The evidence I keep,
Says differently.
Its funny as people lie when
I know the truth.
Because I can never convince
them of what actually happened.
Nobody ever believes that...
So I just sit back,
and listen to their twisted tales,
because, hey, might as well
throw them a bone.
I know what I believe,
**I know who I am.
Old poem but still relevant so why not post
Apr 2017 · 602
Nobody
Sam Apr 2017
I don't think people understand
Nobody does
No, I am not saying this in the typical teenager
Nobody understands me ahhh way
I just mean that, as the truth
Nobody understands what others are going through
The phrase I understand people take to a different level,
of believing that I've had this exact experience
When the truth is,
Nobody has had the exact same experience as anyone else
Why?
Because that's human nature, that's life
What bothers me more, is when people say
My experience is worse than yours
or
Oh that's bad, I'm sorry but this happened to me and this is why its worse than what you experienced
You have no idea what is going on in this persons head,
so how can you say that what you had happen is worse?
Even if you don't outright say this,
that's exactly the impression that it gives off
You don't have the right to say who's experience is worse
this person is hurting,
and trying to "one-up" their pain
is not going to ******* help
So if you go to say this
shut the **** up and sit the **** down
thanks.
Apr 2017 · 265
Hugs
Sam Apr 2017
One simple gesture,
that makes all problems go away,
Especially when they come from the one whom you love
Apr 2017 · 291
Happens
Sam Apr 2017
Things can just...happen
Like, I don't mean for it to occur,
but it just, well, turns out that way-I guess
I would never purposely do these actions,
because I neither have the effort,
nor care enough, honestly,
But these things that occur
just happen to be extremely satisfying
Little things that make me smile,
Things that make me laugh
I guess you could say that with
Satisfaction, it just kinda
*happens
Apr 2017 · 1.3k
Emergency Room
Sam Apr 2017
Rushing down the halls,
Grabbing the keys
Go.

Eyes burning, arms shaking,
Inability to concentrate on the road
Faster, ******.

He can barely breathe,
My little brown eyes
Hang in there buddy, come on.

Little body quivering,
Puppy eyes stare at me in fright
Its okay, lil' brown eyes, we love you.

Car slams on the breaks,
Doors rush open, full sprint inside
Stay with us boy, don't leave us.

Taken away, medically examined
Clock ticks by, slower..slower..
How long, How long does it take?

Doctors come and go
Paper work after paper work
I don't care, let me see my baby.

Little Puppy, comes back with delight
Medication given, and thankfully taken
You did it bud bud, you're still here.

Life is taken for granted
Once tugged at, we hold on tight
*We love you, patches, thank you for staying.
Apr 2017 · 436
Chapel Melodies
Sam Apr 2017
Music sings as a soft river flows
fingers gliding over the white keys
Through the chapel, elegant movements
echo the enchanting melodies

Light trickles through walls of rainbow
dazzling specs on the tile
They dance to the song of wonder and awe
not having to resist a smile

Imagination runs wild through the eyes of one
Picturing a beautiful sight
for the song and the colors reminded her
of the one whom she held so tight

Dreaming to dance to this graceful piece
Gliding across those aesthetic floors
She whispered to herself, finally believing
*That she never wanted nothing more
Hearing a grand piano being played in a church after hours is probably one of the most peaceful experiences I've had
Apr 2017 · 299
Music Continues
Sam Apr 2017
+
Lyrics tell all truth,
For listen closely,
and you shall see.
Lyrics unfold the blinded,
Persuading what should,
and should not be.
+
Mar 2017 · 901
Hmm Uh
Sam Mar 2017
Slats
Salts
I have Salt
Salt Salt Salt
Salty Salt
*for Chem
+Inspiration+
Tribute to a good friend of mine
RIP our minds in AP Chem
Mar 2017 · 284
Knowledge is Power
Sam Mar 2017
It's funny to recall...
how people act,
how people think,
how people change...
People don't change, or rather, they learn.
Some people learn too often, and mold into an image that isn't their own,
Some people never learn, and that's just how they were raised,
Some people learn, but never use that knowledge to expand...
That knowledge is precious, more than any possession.
Mar 2017 · 304
(5) Have you ever...
Sam Mar 2017
had someone walk in
and you just freeze
because their stunning beauty
took your breath away...
Mar 2017 · 897
Snow
Sam Mar 2017
Snow is a good thing, right?
The wind howls,
creating icy burns on the skin
and the snow flies,
whirling in circles
to block the sunlight.
Creating slippery roads,
and dangerous conditions.

...is snow really a good thing?* they whisper.
pt2
Mar 2017 · 534
Rant
Sam Mar 2017
Stop telling me the lies I know you spill,
Stop telling me the lies I once believed as truth.
Tell me what you mean, what you're objective is
because I don't understand.
What is the point in arguing a matter that won't change?
What is the point of constantly yelling about things that won't be fixed?
I'm not stopping what I do,
I'm not stopping my beliefs.
I am me, I can be me
meaning I have the power and capability to shut. you. down.
I don't because thats petty,
because thats not who I am.
I'm fun loving and free spirited [-to most]
Now I know, the statements above seem a bit contradicting
but maybe that's the point.
Like I said, I'm doing what I want and keeping what is okay for me to have.
Because in the end, *we'll see who's by my side
Not even going to read over this
Sometimes things just get on my nerves
Mar 2017 · 211
unblessed
Sam Mar 2017
Only time will tell the confidence within,
the courage, the strength, behind the skin.
Near and far from the depths of the shadows
Breaking from underneath the grin.

Everything here are things that I chose,
Holding back, anything but the proper prose
Wearing down, and running thin,
Running away from those who appose.
Mar 2017 · 193
Snow
Sam Mar 2017
Snow is a good thing, right?
Light flurries swirl around me,
As pretty flakes fall onto my hair.
The trees above me shine in the light,
with the layers of ice covering the branches.
Picture perfect moments
Smiling through the icy breeze.

Yes, snow is a good thing,* I say.
pt1
Mar 2017 · 387
Thinking Out Loud
Sam Mar 2017
+
I shall never forget
that sparkle in your eye
as we danced alone
under the sky
Counting the steps
each pulling us closer
to never letting go
+
Mar 2017 · 471
Journaling
Sam Mar 2017
Red swirls fill the paper
Marking up the canvas
that once held happy memories

Purple lines twist and turn
gliding along the stretch of cherry
hiding the past mistakes

Blue marks spot the rest
filling the empty patches of white
keeping the reality hidden

Black dots encircle the art
adding final touches to the strokes
and staying whole yet another day
Its almost been two months...
They said it would get easier the more time that passes, why does it still feel like I'm on day two rather than month two?
Apparently I'm doing a good job...why don't I feel okay then?
Mar 2017 · 208
Strength
Sam Mar 2017
The guy at the bus stop, seen every Saturday morning, carries the battered and broken guitar case. He doesn't know where he is going, he doesn't know what his life will be. He smiles and tips his hat at everyone walking by.
Little does everyone know the emptiness he feels inside. His hair, cut neat-His
outfit, perfectly put together. His smiles, so big and bright: they mask his true identity.
He gets on the bus as per usual, weekly traveling down to the local coffee shop with the rest of his family. The guitar half fits in the seat beside him, as he sits waiting for another day ahead of him.
He will go to the local shop, sit on that little brown stool in the corner, and pull out his one prised possession. Music isn't defined by society, music is interpreted by the beholder. And there he will play the day away, seeing the smiles on the faces of others. They walk in, grab a coffee, make small chit chat, and walk out taking on the day.
Occasionally, a few people will stop, complement the plucking of the strings. With this, he will reply excitedly, explaining the new piece he has been working on. Most will smile and nod, some talk a little longer, intrigued by the musicality.
Others go up to the store owner, his mother, and ask for his name, for they truly enjoy the music. Nobody ever asks him for his name, and he never knows why. Yet without a doubt, he always dreads the answer coming from behind the counter.
Her name is Scarlett, his mom replies.
He hides his face behind his pin straight black hair that flows down to his waist. He looks down at the red and white polka-dotted dress, sighs, and continues playing.
One Saturday afternoon, right before his family was to go home, an old lady came and asked his mom for the name of the beautiful guitar player in the corner.
He heard the usual response and stiffened. The old lady noticed this and walked over to the corner.
May I ask you, the old lady begins, What is your name
His eyes light up, then quickly faded. He cannot speak of himself in front his mother.
It's okay dear the lady whispers, I used to have a family like yours. They called me Mark, but my real name is Lacey. You will be yourself one day, I promise
His face lit up once again.
He finally found someone who understands.
My name is Sean, he replies, this time-with a true smile.
Im proud of you, Hayden. <3
Mar 2017 · 248
Run
Sam Mar 2017
Run
+
The rush through my veins
The newness of everything around me
The terrifying moments to come,
but comfort and reliance of one
never to give in, never to back down.
+
Mar 2017 · 288
Caught in the Rapids
Sam Mar 2017
Don't fret little one,
I stood where you stand.
I used to know what it's like,
to be swept away by the waters.
Don't let the waters take you.
Get back on the boat,
take back your control,
and stand up for who you are.
Don't break yourself down,
It's not worth it.
Trust me, my dear child,
when I say I know.
Don't make the mistake I did,
and drown in the waters.
Being completely lost,
and bruising from the rapids.
Don't let the wall of rocks,
push you to be someone you aren't.
Instead, climb the crumbling wall,
and be who you want to be.
Sam Mar 2017
+
I hear those words,
that specific melody.
I feel the pain I once felt,
and the nag of mellow happiness
of those days past.
+
I think I'm going to start a music series? I have no idea, I always say I'm going to make a series, then it never lasts long. Well, We will see where this goes ^-^
Mar 2017 · 437
Bruises of Lucifer
Sam Mar 2017
Castiel, dear Castiel
be careful in your brave fight.
Your wings, their tampered,
battered and broken.
You fly ever so slightly
above the earth unspoken
Your heart has diminished.
Been tampered with and
beaten over.
Yet you still give the love
the love they once gave.
You pursue and persist,
never giving up on the fight.
I believe in you dear Cas,
I am here by your side.
Never shall I let you go,
without a trusted guide.
I whisper to you
what you already know
The strength you behold
is greater than most.
Just don't use it all up,
on one tiny ghost.
TRUST ME, I know what I'm talking about
Feb 2017 · 245
27-2-17
Sam Feb 2017
Sharp cool air blows through the brown wave
Air is taken in deeply,
Cold is felt all around,
but she is not cold.

The lights pierce the blue pools that fall one by one
Single sound of a breath,
The birds and bugs have silenced,
but her mind is not quiet.

Beautious ***** of fire stretch above the shingles
Miles above stretched forever
Wishing all the lights to go out
but she just stares
Feb 2017 · 276
Responsibility
Sam Feb 2017
I don't think they want me
to feel it's my responsibility

Protective instincts fall over me
Curdling up rage within
I swear to God if you lay one finger
if you even think of touching their skin
I will find you,
and there will be hell to pay.

This is not how someone should be treated
Give them the respect and dignity owed
You made them take up this path
and push them down this lonely road
Nobody should do this alone,
Nobody can do this alone.

Get your head out of your ***
and see whats happening around you
Do you care about what you see
the sadness in your view
Maybe you don't,
but surly I do.

it's my responsibility
to make sure they get through.
This seems a little rough, but hey I'm ****** and also, very much worried.
All I know is that I need to find a way soon.
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