Every time you look at me your raw soul
Comes out to consume mine.
Your sorrow acts like a plea
Tears enter my eyes, our feelings intertwine.

The irritated anger present within you;
Even vented without intent,
That also becomes my rage too.
Though perhaps yours came and went.

I watch you live bright and full.
It changes me as I come up from the deep,
The joy and happiness create a pull.
Now your momentary air of innocence is mine to keep.

As the tides are high and low,
So the sand is drawn with it.
I am the emotion of your heart overflowed,
My empathy a summit.

My past year
I have spent
Fading
From Green
To Purple
From Purple
To Black
And I think
It's about time
I just stick
To one colour

I can't be genuine in a crowded setting,
I'm not brave enough to be real here.
So I'll write you this note with hope,
That you might try to understand me, dear.
I can be confident if I'm detached,
But with you, I don't want that.
Instead I run scared from possibility,
Feigning confidence and sincerity.
How ironic that I've been most true to myself
Behind a screen when I could be anyone else.
So I can't quite communicate or relate.
I'm best speaking one on one,
Or when talking need not be done.
Yes I'm truly terrified of touching you
If the variables I can't control are more than a few.
Years of hurt, being used,
Years objectified, feeling abuse,
Has twisted me to want and fear you.
So please don't be silent, I'm really quite needy.
I've been quit on and ****** on so much,
And when I miss you, I miss you dearly.
If I love you, it will be fully.
I'm so dependent, so wanting, destitute for you,
I can't take twenty-four hours of silence,
It could **** me.
I like to be alone, yes, it's true,
But I'd rather not be alone if I could be with you...

You told me once never to trust you.
She told me how you've lied.
You even introduced yourself to me as a liar.
What the **** do I believe at this point?
Words are one thing for me to give you,
Though all of them truth,
But I'm terrified to give you anything more.
There is nothing I hate more than a liar.

I was alone, outside, apart, my back to everyone.
He came up behind me, I could feel his warm breath on my neck it made me close my eyes.
As he started to touch me, I tensed up.
He laughed and said we all ways have fun, for him I guess that's true.
My body burned with his touch, but not in a good way.
He lead me away - completely numb, compliant, submissive.
I am too afraid to leave; part of me knows I deserve this.
When you are raised to be an object, how do you find a voice?
I can barely utter please, stop, and he laughs again, he knows he has me trapped beneath him.
I hate myself for this, over and over again.
Same story, different guy, it will never end.
How can I grow past pain, past fear, when it is continually inflicted?

You broke my stereotype. Took my normal and replaced it with you.

You were my "puppy", my two a.m., my everything.
You made me laugh when I felt like dying.
You let me cry instead of faking, smiling.
You held me in such a way that I wasn't afraid.

My world didn't make sense until you were a part of it.
Everything I ever showed you you accepted.
You showed me what it's like to be loved.

And you were the most beautiful lie I've ever known.