I knew I lost you in advance
I can't say I didn't have a warning
We were sitting on the couch
Like it were just any other morning
And I was struggling with a task
Can't even remember what
I asked if you would help and your reply
Twisted my hear into a knot
Why would you do that indeed
Yet somehow you always did
Until loving me was difficult
and you were not prepared to make that bid.
Bits and pieces
I only realize
When so much
Is already gone.
Between the waking hours
and persistent unsleep,
as much as the chaos
in my head then
as you are now.
I hear you like I'm near you,
On your soapbox full of rage
As you fill your need to shout a little more
Voices on voices upon voices
Who need to voice what they feel is right.
Filled in a sea of people who you feel are wrong.
You try to believe the good in every man.
Especially this man.
You don't have to tell me twice
I gave my nimble secrets to that talkative man
Paying my way for this one way ticket
To the next thing that will save us.
However I was left with empty hands
Nothing to show but these lessons made from fools gold
It's hard to change this march of time.
If only you could hear my pain,
You would hear my cracking joints and screams, in vain.
If only they changed colors; You would see three: Black, Red, and Blue,
Covering my body through and through.
Alas! It doesn’t work that way,
So, I have to get up from my bed.
Put my make up and pretend,
This isn’t that bad or, it’s not the end.
But the tears trickle down, out of control,
Silently, no noise that you can hear.
A trickle dripped down on my cheek,
I see round a drop of pink tear.