Between the waking hours
and persistent unsleep,
as much as the chaos
in my head then
as you are now.
I hear you like I'm near you,
On your soapbox full of rage
As you fill your need to shout a little more
Voices on voices upon voices
Who need to voice what they feel is right.
Filled in a sea of people who you feel are wrong.
You try to believe the good in every man.
Especially this man.
You don't have to tell me twice
I gave my nimble secrets to that talkative man
Paying my way for this one way ticket
To the next thing that will save us.
However I was left with empty hands
Nothing to show but these lessons made from fools gold
It's hard to change this march of time.
If only you could hear my pain,
You would hear my cracking joints and screams, in vain.
If only they changed colors; You would see three: Black, Red, and Blue,
Covering my body through and through.
Alas! It doesn’t work that way,
So, I have to get up from my bed.
Put my make up and pretend,
This isn’t that bad or, it’s not the end.
But the tears trickle down, out of control,
Silently, no noise that you can hear.
A trickle dripped down on my cheek,
I see round a drop of pink tear.
Each word is a sandpaper syllable,
And ever breath Is a knife sharpened.
Between both all are cleaved,
and each part is divided
and consumed when spoken.
we will never heal when both
are motioned upon us at once.
We are cut
endlessly between ourselves and
only time can heal us.
Death always wins,
be it a subtle kiss
in to oblivion.
Or a slow caress into an inevitable
conclusion of demise.
But all will lay silently,
we will breathe a last breath
upon the road of solitude as all
walk alone into deaths exhalation.
Then there is stillness and a static
us in to an unfamiliar future of breathless anxiety.
I am afraid I'll be sad forever
Nothing brings out a smile
When I am down I often forget
It is only for a while
I am scared I'll never be fixed
My broken heart will never mend
When it's aching it feels like
Pain might not ever come to an end
I fear my instability
Urges to make a deep incision
Temporary emotions pushing me
Towards a permanent decision
Never make permanent choices based on temporary feelings