Uncertainty,
An unstable platform,
Reminding you that your feet are never grounded into the floor.
We approach the things we want with doubt festering in our minds,
We have seen so much,
Go oh, so wrong,
And yet, here we are.
If we're bound to make mistakes,
Dig up our own graves,
Why are we so afraid to approach it?
Why do we approach the end with shaky feet and sweaty palms?
We're headed that way,
Shouldn't we at least walk confidently in order to make the process less chaotic?
Shouldn't we try to make every experience we're dealt with, one where lessons are handed to us in envelopes,
Laced with hopes of the bad becoming good and the good becoming better?
Life, has never been about crossing the finish line,
Unharmed.
It's about making the most of what you're dealt with.
You stumble through the dirt to become something so strong and wise and you use that to feed and maybe someday,
Get rid of the doubt that once plagued your very being.
When you walk onto uncertainty,
Make sure you're aware that that platform,
Being unbalanced,
Will help you become more you than any steady ground.
You walk confidently on the shaky ground until you fall,
You then get right back up and try again.
Failure does not mean it's the end of the world,
But allowing doubt to destroy you from within,
Is.

Dear The One,
Your fingers are still latched onto my heart
And I'd like to know why?
Why is it that I am unable to get rid of your voice and your eyes and all the memories that accompany you, out of my head?
Do you know how much it still hurts?
It hurts less, yes
But it still hurts to think about you or about who is taking up your time and why it's not me, why am I not her
What makes me so insufficient and so unbearable?
I've given you love in the form of a mind and body ready to offer you a lifetime of happiness and yet still,
I was disposed
As if I was nothing but trash
I'm here to tell you that I'm so through crying over you
The words no longer linger in my mind
They no longer dance on my tongue
They no longer exist
You have ruined whatever poem I was becoming into
And I am so **** tired of being the broken-hearted girl, unable to move on from a guy who is unable to love her FULLY
I am So much to deal with because I have so much to give and not the right person to give it to.
I am so ******* special and it's such a shame that you were too blind to see that in the midst of stone, I was a diamond shining so bright.

The words seem foreign in my mouth,
My tongue unable to distinguish the taste
I've been meaning to write to you, to update about all darkness that is beginning to settle within me.
My mind has returned to a maze. One that seams unsolvable.
I'd ask you for a way out but I know that these solutions are never served on a platter.
I'm afraid that sooner or later, the darkness will eat me whole, and nothing will be left of me, not even the words that I've been dying to say
I'm disappointed to say, that I'm unsure as to whether the words can form a sentence worth moving you or him or her.
It's sad to see that another love was left to burn out, it's fire once a sun, has now dimmed into nothing but a speck of ash or dust.
Until next time,
When words can form something..more

She sways with the wind and loses herself to the twinkling of the stars
She hasn't felt freedom intertwine itself with her, in a very long time
She speaks of love, the inhabitants, now ghosts, have made homes in the cracks of her chest  
And she heaves,
Regardless of the attempts she's made of trying to sew back the pieces of her broken heart
Her friends are the sun and the moon and the sky is where she one day hopes to lie
Safe and sound
Whole

Dear world,
Sometimes the words choose to lace their fingers onto my throat and strangle me for my very being of expression or existence
But I have nothing to say.
The world has broken me so very much,
That sulking into the depths of the earth does not sound like such a bad idea
I grip my pen, like I grip onto my life,
But my hands are sweaty and giving up doesn't seem like such a bad idea,
The only problem being that I'm hopeful and letting go isn't something my heart
Takes light

My mind and heart are in constant battle
I'm always trying to figure out who to settle, into an issue
I've made a decision
My mind, I'm sticking with
My heart, this isn't worth my
Time
My mind's telling me to leave.
To pick up and go and run to a faraway land where there's no you or her or us or we
Everything seems too heavy, lately
I'm waiting for my heart to wave the white,
I'm waiting for it to give up the fight
The world needs no fragile hearts
This world is pure red.
Flaming hot ready to devour everything and anything in its direction.
I'm waiting.
I'm waiting for them to make up.
I need my mind and my heart to decide
Do I pick up, leave or,
Fight for what I believe
But what is it that I believe?
You and her and us and we
I don't think any of this can be
Give up once and walk away
I'm sorry but I'm in no place to stay,
Where I'm no longer needed.  
I am human with a body and soul
And a mind and heart that are always competing
I have to love myself but,
Myself doesn't love me very much, this evening
I want my mind to allow my heart to wallow in secret
But I need to have them both,
In agreement
I can't struggle for those who leave and,
I can't break for those who don't appreciate it
I need to mend my heart and protect my mind
I'm in total control of the happiness I come up with
I'll drown myself in self love until I find an exit

I've always longed to be a poem that moved people.
I've always wanted to be an art piece constructed of rhymes and metaphors.
I've always wanted to be something beautiful, yet I thought I lost that when I lost you.
I didn't know that beauty lied within me
Whenever you looked my way, your eyes seemed to glisten, and I thought that was beauty  
I thought beauty was all the words you've ever told me.
I thought beauty was embedded into promises of forevers that were always reassured with always
I didn't know that beauty was found in my eyes whenever I looked your way
Or in the countless letters I've written to you
Or the words I promised to only you,  
I didn't know that beauty was my heart and how It gave and gave, only to be unappreciated
Do not mistake my confidence for arrogance, for even that, is a form of beauty.
I didn't realize I was beauty, until I wallowed in my broken
My pieces were also a form of beauty that I learned to appreciate and love, scars and all
And so I loved myself back to whole again,
And I saw beauty, in everything
Mostly myself
In the little cracks of my heart
In my mind

And I may owe all of that to you

Dear The One,
It's been a while since I've written one of these...
How do they go again...?
I hope you're doing fine,
I am, or at least, I think I am
See the conversations that take place between us, going back and forth, day in and day out, haven't added anything to my life.
All it feels like is us dragging our goodbye for one more day
For one more week
For one more month
When do I get to say goodbye and assure myself that I won't be getting anything from you anymore?
I don't know if I'm dreading that or if I'm going to finally feel relieved
See, you've said that time is finally on our side,
But I'm still standing at the sidewalk with my arms outstretched palms open, begging for you
I don't believe I love you as much as I used to
If love is a choice then I do not wish to choose it
At least not with you
I don't think love is about waiting around for someone to finally notice me
You either do or you don't and anything in between is a waste of my precious ******* time
So get your **** together and figure out what you want
Cause whatever time I've dedicated to you, I'm bound to take back.
I'm not going to cast a second glance your way, and maybe then,
You'll regret the decision you've made

Dear soul,
I think I can hear you cracking.
I'm not used to addressing you in these, but I owe you an apology for everything I've put you through.
Little did I know, through every heartbreak, you cracked a little more.
I was hurting you in the process of healing myself.
The more I tried stitching myself through people's love, the more you yelled out in anger because no one fully understood what and how you felt.
I think the best way to describe it is,
You were drowning slowly; as water filled your lungs & fire burned your skin to char.
I think I've given up.
Honestly, truly, it feels like hope left me stranded in an airport and I don't know who or where to yell, to ask her to come back for me.
Hope gave up on me...when I still haven't.
I think he really did a number on me.
I think, whoever comes next, if he does, is going to have a wall higher than any I've ever built before
I've named the concrete after all that I feel; some bricks mark hate, some mark love, anger, fury, sadness, avalanche, hurricane, thunder, depression, hurt, save me...
I've lost myself in my emotions so much that I've forgotten what it feels like to be happy
He, came up whenever I felt it.
The thought of him always crept through my mind at the thought of happiness, as if I were climbing a cliff or mountain; as soon as I reached the top I couldn't help but stare at the beautiful scene before me, proud; admiring how life brought me here
But now,
He crept onto my thoughts with sadness...
Him and sadness walk hand in hand as if betraying my trust was nothing more than a small bump on the road
Soul,
I'm sorry if I fall to my knees unaware, unsure of how to band your bruises
I haven't given up on you, and maybe not on Love,
I can't give up on love..
I may have given up on him.
Yet you don't understand how,
I've never felt so alive as I do with him.
The world makes sense, if for a little period of time, with him
The stars, they all remind me of him and his eyes and I can't help but lose my sanity looking into them .
Soul, please somehow regain hope.
Knock on her door and ask her nicely to help you, slowly
To show you what it's like to walk through the fire without so much as a hole becoming of you
Soul,
I've wondered what it felt like to never have to depend on anyone,
I guess this is what it feels like;
Complete and utter ****

She is a fire breathing dragon, ready to devour those who have done her wrong
She is a volcanic eruption of repressed anger
She is an earthquake, a tornado
She will surely turn the walls of your heart into nothing but powder
She is a soft flower, with petals made of pigment, she sways with the wind
She is a solar system, a universe with galaxies in her eyes that glisten whenever she talks about something she's passionate about
She is a figment of your imagination because her beauty is one that does not resemble anything on this planet we call Earth
Her beauty is one laced with creativity, an essence of intelligence, and a strong desire mangled by her stubbornness.
She moves mountains through the flick of her fingertips
She's an ocean capable of sinking ships
She's so much more than the appearance of a weak little girl, lost in a big bad world