Rebel Heart

Rebel Heart Apr 2018

I wish for you
Perfect sunsets
And early morning day dreams
I wish for you
Perfect smiles
And living life to the extremes
...
I wish for you all that
And so much more
But most of all
I wish-
I wish I could be
The one you spend
All those memories with
And I wish that
More than you could ever know
...

And yet,
When you looked at me
With tears in your eyes
And asked why
I couldn't stay
...
Well behind my broken smile
Was the truths that stung to say
...
Because-
I'm not the kind of girl you fall in love with.

("I'm not the kind of girl you fall in love with" was something RH had once told me as an excuse that I later found was written in her lyric wall. LOL just wanted to share the excitement that I found I finally found the full poem I'm guessing it first started out from (so I shared some of it with all of you!). Sorry for the long notes lately I've been moody but Happy Writing! ~BM)

(Front Page 4/27/2018)

#wish #love #girl #heart #heartbreak #life #fall #broken #smile #eyes

Rebel Heart Apr 2018

Broken Eyes

I think
I'm finally starting
To see myself
Through your eyes...
So is it bad
That all I see
Is a sad girl
Too broken
To give her heart away?

They say the eyes are the window to the soul.. so is it bad that all you see when you look into my eyes is the broken shell of what I once was?

(A short poem I found hidden away from when RH was only 9 years old and it's sad that I knew her back then as this amazing, always optimistic girl who was always always there for anyone who needed a cheering up and somehow that same happy girl wrote these kinds of poems hidden away in a journal. LOL when I was nine I could barely spell my teachers name and was used to writing and rewriting variations of "roses are red violets are blue... I love you" poems. Happy Writing ~BM)

(Front Page 4/25/2018)

#eye #broken #sad #girl #depression #heart #love #heartbreak #tired #life

Rebel Heart Apr 2018

Live a Little

We grow a little older
Every second of every day
And sometimes we forget
The night will always be young

(Another gem from the infamous lyric/quote wall that didn't make sense to me at first but now it does. Happy Writing! ~BM)

(Front Page 4/23/2018)

#live #life #night #day #young #old #love #fun #second #time

Rebel Heart Apr 2018

Rewriting Regret

She writes her pains
In between the lines
Of the story of her life
..
Forever stuck in
What could've been
Forever wondering
What should've been
Forever tormented by
What would've been

Never stopping to think
How if she finally
Imprisoned the ghosts
Floating in her future's past
She wouldn't really know
What to do with them

(Some broken parts of a poem I found in one of RH's old novel drafts which I absolutely loved. Happy Writing!~ BM)

(Front Page 4/21/2018)

#poem #regret #life #ghost #think #past #present #future #stuck #love

Rebel Heart Apr 2018

Remedy For The Heart

If only there was
A medicine
That could cure
A broken heart
...
For I would
Give away everything
Just to feel
Whole again

(A lyric wall quote because today of all days I wish I could take something to help with a broken heart.~BM)

#heart #love #life #help #relationship #give #everything #whole #broken #heartbreak

Rebel Heart Apr 2018

My Scars

He told me
My scars made me stronger
My scars made me beautiful
But he was wrong

The minute he realized
Just how deep the cuts ran-
Piercing through my skin
and bleeding out parts of my soul-
He turned the other way
And never looked back
Not once
...
And he left me thinking
How he was one of the good ones...
And if he couldn't love all of me
How would anyone ever
Love me for my scars?
...
How would anyone ever
Love me at all?
...

(Not a poem but a piece of one of RH's old novels I'm rereading just to realize I find something new to love about this story every time I read it. I'm missing her a lot more than usual lately but Happy Writing and thanks for the support! ~BM)

(Front Page 4/17/2018)

#scar #cut #bleed #beautiful #relationship #broke #skin #soul #life #love

Rebel Heart Apr 2018

Nothingness

My memories were those
I had yet to live,
My soul imprisoned
In the depths
Between life and death
...
But in the nothingness
I found everything
I found hope,
And everything I ever craved
...
I found love-
Enough love
To finally break through
The cracks of reality
I had first called my life
...
And yet
I live and breath so deeply
Sometimes I swallow the nothingness
I so desperately try to hide

For I am haunted
By the things I've forgotten
And forgotten
By ones I'm haunted by
...
Just to be blown to dust
Once more into the nothingness
Like a fugitive
Running away from time

(Small pieces of a long-winding poem that hit me right in the heart today. ~BM)

#nothing #haunted #time #life #ghost #death #run #forget #relationship #me