"DAY 1”
waking up doesn’t feel normal
Im scared to leave my bed
i feel controlled with no power left
This awful atrabilious feeling i have
Just gonna go back to sleep

“DAY 2”
Made it out of bed today
nothing has changed
I have class soon
Im scared to go out side
doesn’t feel right
doesn’t feel normal
Shower to try to fix this feeling

Okay made it to class
sitting in the front row
i feel like everyone is staring at me
i feel they know I’m not okay
they are reading every move i make.
But i know they aren’t
and I’m just thinking to much

“DAY 3”
Waking up this morning
i feel anxious
i have this rushed feeling
feels like the world is waiting for me
gonna go shower

So out of the shower
my mind settled for a little bit
i was comfortable but numb
numb to everything
To scared to go out side today


“Day 4”
Can i even call this a separate day?
I haven’t been to bed yet
sitting on this porch
looking at nothing
lighting another cigarette
**** i need to stop this
another pack gone
time seems to be moving so slow
yet so fast tonight

Its 5am time to try going to bed

Its now 10am sleep isn’t happening
been laying here staring at the ceiling
hoping for something to change
to feel anything
I’m numb to everything
my phone keeps ringing
texts, calls.
Cant even bring myself to pick it up

**** this

“DAY 5”
Things seem to be getting better
i left the house today
felt terrified for most of it
didn’t feel comfortable where i was
laying in bed
i finally feel the war has stopped
my mind has finally caught up
taking deep breaths

5 days of horror has finally settled

Thats it,no more
I’m done,gave up
Its just to much
no more trying

The way i feel alone
is a change for me
its a new feeling
kind of a joyful bliss

i feel this is a power,a strength
Realizing this is a salvation
i feel my eyes have been opened
a new light, a new tunnel
a new journey

Being alone is no curse
no end, no shame
its a fresh start
a chance to find yourself
a chance to build yourself

I enjoy this time
i breath clear
i think about the future
i let fate come to me

No more shadows of the past
no more over bearing feeling
no more anything
just me, myself, I
Living my life
doing what i love

Goodbye alone feeling
Hello Life!

As i stand on the edge of reason
looking my fate in the eye
i realize this is it
my mind is gone
The kiss on the cheek seals the deal
take me from this place
take my soul once and for all
(Fell off the edge)

When did we forget how to feel?
We forgot how to be.
As a society as a whole.
This world we live in forces us to label how we feel.
So we choose depressed.
But why?
We label every feeling that isn’t normal as
“Depressed”
When really.
Were just sad for the moment, Stressed for the day,
Happy right now, And lost for this hour.

“Depressed” Is a mental condition.
I see dark when you see light.
You see sad i see normal.
I don’t feel happy the way you feel happy.
But you don’t feel sad the way i feel sad.

I stand here trying to reevaluate this situation.
I want YOU as a human in this society
to remember how to feel.
No label your emotions
in such a broad term.

WE are humans.
We have emotions.
This does not mean we are depressed.

I see Facebook posts, and Tweets, And instagram captions
Saying how these people are “Depressed”
When yesterday they were loving life.
This “Depression” i feel.
Is not day by day.
Its something i wake up with
its something i go to sleep with.
Because you are sad today
doesn’t mean you will be sad tomorrow.

Food for thought.
Peace.

Words there spoken not proven
Actions there done but not shown
A kiss leaves a mark but not forever
******* but no passion
Love is said but not meant
Goodbye is said and its forever

I have fallen harder
i have loved deeper
i have kissed with passion
i have ****** out of love
i have been broken
i have been pushed around
i have ****** out of hate

i have nothing left.


i now put my heart in a vault
the steel walls protect it
doesn’t let anyone in
doesn’t let anything out
“Practice safe *** they say”
Keeping my heart in this vault
Practices safe love.


the key to this vault?
its been thrown away so many times
i couldn’t tell you where it is
one day i will find it again.
until then i will practice safe love.

Painted walls
Colored windows
Wood benches
A man on a podium
Talking right and wrong

The boy with the piercings and tattoos
Front row
Kneeling hands folded head down

The collection gets passed around
Judgement being passed around
About this boy with the piercings

A lost soul looking for a home
Trying to forgive and forget.
Trying to repent and receive forgiveness.

"Go in peace"

People start leaving
Talking to each other
Giving thanks

The boy with the piercings remains
Head down, hands folded, front row.
Giving another prayer up
A prayer of acceptance with these people
He's just another lost soul like the rest
Trying to find his home

Amen

I told you that you would be the one who got away. Those words still hold true to this day

I told you I would fix your heart break
If me taking the heartbreak helped
Then I'm okay with that.

I told you I loved you to the moon and back
I remember those words as I look at it now

I hope you have someone who reminds you to take your contacts out before you fall asleep

I hope someone reminds you to keep your head up on hard days

I hope someone reminds you that it's just another day

I hope someone calls you randomly cause you love that so much

I hope he treats you like a queen
Cause you were mine

For the next guy. Take care of her?
Like I was never capable of

I realized now that timing is what's everything.
Are time just wasn't then

My hope for you is that you are happy
That you make the best out of life
I saw what you were capable of

You changed the way I saw relationships
You changed the way I saw love
You changed the way I feel
You changed my passion of life
I see thing clearer
I see things brighter
You gave me that light in life
I'm chasing that light now
I'm finding it in my dreams

I will leave you with these memories

This is it my dear

The time has come

To say our final

Goodbye