I wonder what it would be like,
were everything a shade of plaid.
Maybe I'll think about that for hours.
Maybe I've just finally gone mad.

Yellow lights turn red
and ten thousand times a day
the children whisper lies
they've heard over and over
from the adults in their lives
countless times.

Don't cover your face,
it's hard working for tips
without those painted lips
but the children will grow
in this infantile life
without ever knowing
the truth behind those
beautiful lies.

All this and more
is found shrouded in
a brief amber light
turning to crimson.

Slow thoughts
Hidden thoughts
Whispering thoughts
Creeping thoughts
Sauntering thoughts
Slithering thoughts
Pervasive thoughts
Obtrusive thoughts
Contrite thoughts
Acrimonious thoughts
Petulant thoughts
Onerous thoughts
Wearisome thoughts
Monotonous thoughts
Bereft thoughts

then finally sleep

God is the way sunlight bends through an empty shot glass,
throwing cascading fractures on the solemn bar top.
God is the skin I crawl in
and peel away by two layers at a time
above the ****-filled blisters left
by that same old sun
on happy afternoons.

God is a drunk
and doesn't give a ****
about what
I think he is.

beat up and broken down
now I'm stuck in this town
so call me king as I strut around
wearing my burger crown

The door creaked and I craned my neck
to get a better look at who walked in.

I saw sultry, pouting lips and an ***
that moved in indignant little circles
as she walked up to a stool at the bar.

My lust was provoked immediately,
and I knew that she knew it by the
way she checked her hair and makeup
in the mirror behind the speed rack.

She was already naked in my mind's eye,
already leaving me in my sad imagination.

It'd been maybe three minutes since she
walked in that squeaky front door,
but I'd already had more than enough.

I left half a beer on the bar
and strode out into the night
without ever even knowing
her name.

She had melted mud
on her pretty palms.
With a tentative touch,
we held hands.
It subtlety squished
between gritty grips,
dripping down
to the foyer floor.
I saw it suddenly stain.

The ringing rain.

Wild winds
creaked, crashed,
and bent boughs.
The storm sighed
a bitter breath,
the mud made
a blood bond,
and I softly spoke:

"Don't drop
my hollow hand,
make mud
our only
counted care."

She said,
with a tiny twist
of her happy head:

"Why are you talking like that?"

When I wrung out the sweat
it went and stained the carpet,
like when I found that dead cat
and took it in as my pet.

Then I lied to the landlord
said "I don't smell it a bit"
but the bugs gave me away,
too many flys and maggots.

Walking down these dark streets
never going too far,
looking for an empty seat
at any ******* dive bar.

Slugging now, I don't sip,
I ain't got time to not drink,
when drunkenly I trip
and the bottle breaks in my lips.

So now I eat up bits of glass
and they splinter in my gums,
and my teeth start to crack
as I wait for day to come.

Tattoos are ******* dumb
and piercings too.

You look so **** unique
just like everyone else.

We don't waste time
sleeping the night away,
and home has never felt
so **** distant.

Although that may just be
from all the trips we made
up and down the elevator
of that storage place.

Seven years since first
I lit you up
but it still feels like yesterday,
every time I try
to give you up.

But get your ******* god
out of my ****** face.

Yesterday was,
today is,
tomorrow has yet
to be.

Time itself;
a unit of measurement
for our own failing bodies.

Counting machines
with hands and faces;
"tick-tock" insist the clocks.

Smiling on me
from atop the wall,
numbers serve as chopping blocks.

When I was little I used to **** the bed often
I ****** my thumb until I was 10 years old
A Sparrow in my dreams last night
Was in my home where I live now
She was pregnant in my dreams last night
And I couldn't look at her face without pain
So I went to the bathroom in my dreams last night
And I woke up ******* the bed
**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
Staining the sheets of memory
Someone please wash me
I am repugnant

I don't love you,
goodnight.

Ring! Ring!



Ring! Ring!

"Ugh..."

Ring! Ring!

"Zzhuh? Whafuck?"

Ring! Rin-

"AHEM, HMPH, ...hello?..."

"Hey, Jus?"

"Yeah man, who's this?"

"Uhh... How've you been? You okay?"

"Yeah sure man, I was sleeping but whatever. Who the hell is this?"

"..."

"Dude, don't waste my time man I'm going back to sleep."

"...Wait Justin! ...It's your dad! I just-"

"What?... *Dad?... Really?"

"Yeah! I finally foun-"
SLAM*

Zzzzzzz...

Spattered and rhythmic
the drops fall on us,
lying on the lawn we
become rust.

With eyes slit against
the falling rain,
lightning is but
a flash of pain.

The thunder clouds
our sense of perception
and dusty wings
hover over our reception.

The precipitation tastes
of remembrance,
and in my solemn
defense,

I love.

spit the rhythms, I'm trying to get this **** right
like who are you? some biddy I just met last night?
yeah yesterday feels like almost 4 years ago
and I'm doubtful in my ability to just let this all go.

oh, you already know what it's all about?
then I'll listen close dear, you ain't gotta shout.
cut the yelling out but now your screaming blame at me
and all you used to scream is my ******* name, you'll see.

Never stop smiling,
even if it's through
gritted teeth.

I like violins
but it depends
on whether
or not they
end my
sentences.

The grass crunches beneath my feet
as I step through the fog of my breath
and into the crisp late-summer air
of this idle Tuesday morning.

Signs tell me when to stop
and lights tell me when to go,
these pedals beneath my feet
have me longing for unfamiliarity.

Don't the people know not to show
their faces around here anymore,
when life comes knocking at your door
how can you be expected to say no?

I see them in their little cars and trucks,
I see them driving through their lives
but do they see me watching them
safely from the inside of my mind?

Don't let this life pass you by,
try not to fall too far behind
because there are beautiful lies
that want to keep you locked inside.

I, for one, have grown ever tired of them
telling me to hide, and lulling me away
from the things I dream of experiencing
almost each and every single day.

Come with me
and we can see
space between
our little lives.

It seems that I have not only
fallen in love,
but I've been ****** into it
with enough force
to leave earth's atmosphere.

Because when I see her,
I feel like I'm floating
through space.

Tastes like a strong dose
of liquid nostalgia
every time I pull her close
for a kiss.

Then the sun sets.

Don't doubt for a second
the potential within
and don't feel badly
soon I'll see you again.

Then the stars shine.

There's so much time
to be sad and alone
so why bother with that now
when we can call each other home.

Then we sleep.

Dreams come in waves
like currents dragging us along
and I want you to keep smiling
even when I'm gone.

Being an adult means lying in the sun
until you're hot enough to take a dip.

It means skimming the water
with fine-mesh nets
to collect the floating dead bugs.

Being an adult means thinking about cancer,
and worrying over every sunburn-forged mole.

It means that the paranoia
we all like to call love
haunts your thoughts accordingly.

Being an adult means your two primary concerns on a summer day
are children could potentially drown and consistent doses of SPF30.

It means that you forsake
your own thoughts
for the sake of sparing theirs.

Light and the sun it's from,
both burn my eyes in the morning.

As I wait for the day to pass,
I can't quite seem to grasp
the inevitable truths
of time slipping by.
Leaving me behind.
Leaving us all in dust.

I wonder if they ask her
about the bruises around her neck.
The ones just under the line of her jaw,
dark smudges of broken blood vessels
eerily resembling the shape of my hands.

I wonder if they notice
the way she stepped softly and wide
for days after I took her inside
of the tent last weekend
on that one rainy night.

I ponder if they see
the peculiar way she looks at me
or the lights in her eyes
when I say that she's
all mine.

She said to me from above,
seeing me crane my neck
at the sound of the water
hitting the roof of the tent.

I heard the stirring wind
and realized she was right,
offering a smile of delight
as she bent down to me.

Meeting my lips with hers,
grabbing hold of me with
her teeth and pulling as
she began to bounce again.

I closed my eyes
to the overcast skies
and sighed with pleasure
at the sound of my name on her lips.

Out of the womb suicidal,
fashioned a noose before I was born
and came out hanging from the umbilical cord.