The colossol sky was blue enough to absorb our anxieties
The immense clouds were white enough to provide us peace
The tall grasses were green enough to smile at us
The stony path was rough enough to burst us into meaningless laughters!
The consoling songs were melodious enough to help us foget everything
And...we were euphoric enough to enjoy every moment!
I miss the lost old days...

How could they expect from her to love?
When she was always in the battlefield with her armour on
At a war with her own demons...
Always filling her wounds with the confidence that
She was bigger than her demons
And that one day...she'll take the control.

Heart was surrounded by agony
She cried in pain in front of Mind,
Brutally injured by his knife like thoughts.
And Mind being a sadist
did not stop!
But... what did she ask for?
She just wanted to experience a peaceful sleep
that was lost years ago...

She said,"Write about me..."
And I began to think about the most beautiful words ever in this world....
I went on a quest to search for them...
Across the clouds...
Behind the shine of stars...
On the wings of a butterfly...
Lava falling into the water...
And on the secret path behind the waterfall...
I couldn't find even a single word...
All tired, when I returned home...to her
She greeted me with a smile on her lips
a warmth in her hug...and love in her eyes...
And there I knew...what a fool I was!?
Universe's most beautiful creation was just next to me...
And a ***** like me...was lost...running behind butterflies...
on secret paths...from one cloud to other...asking stars for help
And still...couldn't choose anything to define her...
She is so beautiful...that even the moon doesn't greet me...
when she is next to me on the starry nights...
She makes the moon doubt it's own existence...
You see those pearls in the ocean...that's the shine in her eyes...
You hear Ganga flowing...that's the strength of her voice...
You see that honey in the jar...that's her words...
You see the Jasmines bloom...that's the love in her heart...
You see that patient Cheetah preparing her kids for the survival...
that's how she teaches me day and night...
And now...can you see her feet...that's where my heaven is.

The ones you love the most...
will hurt you the most...
A stranger holds no power...
to even make you rethink...
But...now I am tired...
tired of waiting...for this winter
inside me to end...
I don't want to get hurt anymore...
I will make it till the end all alone...
But...this pain...I want this to leave...
Expectations hurt the most...
And I know myself...
A loser who daydreams...
spending days writing useless poems...
People like me...have no value in the real world...
So...I live in a world of my own...
I am tired of putting on playlists...
of all those songs...
to fill this vacuum...
But...I can't understand if it's inside me
or this place?
Something...in my throat...chokes me
I feel like puking...to get rid of it...
A pain underneath my heart...
A lot of my verses hold it's account...
They ask me to write something new...
But...this pain never ends...
I ask them with tears in my eyes...
"What should I do?"
I have no answers...to any question...
I am a useless being in this world of
brilliancy
Oh...I just realised...
I am lonely again.

There were many doubts about what she could do. She smiled and said," Even the sound of my heels when they meet the floor, is a sign of my power!"
And then she walked away with pride...leaving the toxic world behind.

It was another day...and my room pushed me out!
I had nowhere to go
So I decided to visit the park
where we went for morning walks
My hands were in my pocket
And music had taken over...
The wind was welcoming...
As it bowed and blowed...making me feel like a Queen.
I couldn't stop smiling under my mask
As I saw the park was all broken...they were reconstructing it!
I didn't know...you were so disgusting
that not only the hearts...but also the paths
You passed by...were being made stronger and better.

It's been years and she has not felt normal...
It's getting hard to breathe
She wants to shout out....she is pain!!
She doesn't know how to feel okay
She is scared all the time
There is something eating her up!
killing her from inside brutally...
She wants this to go!.....just go!....just gooo!
Why can't these feelings leave?
Stuck with her from all these years
HELLOOO? Is there someone to pull her out?
She is drowning...

The memory was hung there...
caught in a frame...
But, I looked at that smile...
A big curve stretched across my lips...
And eyes were smaller than normal...
As if couldn't let even a drop of happiness to fall...
I looked at myself in the mirror...
Where is it now?
I can't find it...
It's not that I didn't look for it...
But...a dumb like me...lost it...
Now the curve is not that big...
And the eyes....they are big and brown...
nothing to hold inside...
They do ask me about where I lost it?
But how long could I stay there looking for it?
I know...I was not worth it...
It traumatises me...how we change
The way we shed our pure skins at wrong places...
And then even forget those places...losing our skins forever...
Sometimes its 3 in the morning...or 12 in the noon...
Something hits me up...to get that old self back.
We are like an empty canvas,
And as we grow...we get painted in the colors of this world...
The childhood has it's own colors...
But this world...is like that bully...who wants to destroy the masterpiece...

However, the misery lies here...
the colors of this world are so dark...that the true masterpiece is lost forever!

On some days,
I feel like clouds raining
I feel like listening to music
I feel like whispering my secrets and poems
to my diaries.
I feel like... going on adventures to solve the
mysteries behind the dreams I see every night.

Even angels have devil's heart
She can't understand
what's happening?
She has got no control over it!
All the kindness and mercy have left
It's dangerous to mess with her now
A fire is burning inside her.
And she wants the flames to go higher!
Her heart is all black.
It excites her and she is loving the way it feels.

I realised....
Our heart is just like a strong wall of bricks
protecting our infant like soul...
protecting it from all the wars outside...
But was anything ever safe?
People hit you with their stone like actions...rock like thoughts
Sometimes they become brutal...

Cracks begin to appear in that wall
But...that's where the light enters and feeds the soul to grow...
'cause the infant has to grow....to protect itself...
to stand strong for that one day...when everything would be broken!

The D-day comes...when the dams break...
eyes are flooded with tears...and the wall breaks.
The light just like a mother...nourishes the soul to grow...
Because now it has to protect itself...

It's tough for everyone...and till the time you're broken
You hide it really well...behind the thick curtains of your smile
Nobody knows...what's behind that smile
The soul works hard...to put everythings back together
Trying to get back those millions of broken pieces...
But we forget that if the creator of stars...
sends someone to break...there is someone to put it back together....

Finally...the time comes...when you meet that one person...
the one who changes your reality...
the one makes you question things...
the one who makes you a better person...
the one they call 'a soulmate'.

I don't know what I am these days...
I lay in the dark room these evenings...
Trying to understand...
If it's the rain outside...
or the sound of my dream...?
But I know one thing...
I saw last night in the mirror...
There is a mask I wear...
There is a secret I hide....
But for how long?
For how long...will they stay in a mirage?
Will they care, once they know about it?
I don't know....
Or will I become a genius at hiding?
And this secret will burn away with me...
These days I tell myself...
That may be I am not an ocean
but a puddle on the street...
I am in a maze...trying to find
the purpose of this life...
It is annoying...
Why can't I go with the flow?
Why are these thoughts questioning everything?
These days I am living more through the dreams
Like walking around that empty library...
with wooden tables and shelves...
And listening to that unknown Korean song...
Hearing voices and not moving
as I sleep in the dream...
It has been weird lately...

Is there a meaning behind everything?
Or am I just squandered?

I guess..its never the end,
The end is the start of the new beginning
The beginnings wait for the ends to come.
Even if you slept tired and hopeless last night...
Today the break of dawn
will mark a new energy and hope for you.
The end of a catterpillar is...
beginning of the life of a beautiful butterfly.
The methods change as ideas wheel around minds
But the basic principle never ends.
So...I guess it's all connected!
We all are growing and meet thousands of people
But...very few stay...
If it all ends up with someone
Either you find yourself or a new person finds you...
The loosened ropes of one relation
tightens it up for another...
And this way it goes on.

I remember...falling from the giant sequoia...
I was falling from a height...I knew I couldn't survive...
My heart sank...not even a single beat to be felt
But...why didn't it feel like the apathetic ground?
How could I not die in my own blood?
How could the heart still beat?
It felt like falling on a cloud...or feathers...
It felt like...drinking a lukewarm tea...
full of love and worries...just for me...
I opened my eyes...only to find...it was them...
They picked me up with their hands...
placed me on the ground delicately...as if I was something precious...
Their faces were full of fear...
as if not even a scar on me...was bearable to them...
What was that moment?
May be a moment full of my worth...
"I didn't expect you to come..."I laughed
And they looked at me in disbelief...
"Where were we supposed to be?"
Laughter echoed in that sequoia forest...
As we returned back home...
I returned...with a spirit to reach new heights...
but this time...without a fear of falling down.

She thought," Nature must have been made with immense love...and the five elements must have loved each other with so much passion...that they were so well entangled in each other's soul....
Otherwise how could this earth potray love!?"

I remember being surrounded by those kids...
who had that shine of future in their eyes...
The eyes which looked like leaves holding raindrops...
They had a vibe of progress...
Their words had some unrealistic terms...
I never understood...and may be I still do not...
I remember how hard I tried to fit in...
among those futuristic kids...
But how could I?
When my eyes always carried a flame of past in them...
The past I would never want to leave behind...
There is always something in that basket...
It holds for me...something new...
I never think about me growing old...
I think the world would end by then...
But this past...
feels like that lost treasure in sand...
The mysteries of life have been solved...
at the stations of past...
where answers have waited for me...
to pick them up...
I have a past...a precious past...
There is something I can never leave behind.

The most precious sound to me
is that tune,
The tune...that my mother hums while cooking.
The kitchen looks like the Valley of Flowers
and she...dancing like a butterfly among them.
The euphonious tune fills the enviornment
and leaves me in the peace,
that I long for...

Fake smiles.....broken hearts
Betrayal.....tears
Sleepless nights....depression
Caught in our own minds...
We are the sad generation.


Brightest smiles....beautiful hearts
True love.....ambled souls
Sleepless nights....fireflies and moonlight
Caught in their euphoric world
They were the 90's generation.

The snow storm had struck the world outside
And there she was sitting inside....in the dark
With a body full of bruises
Her arm was fractured
And her knees went weak
That she couldn't even stand.
The eye was all blue...as if punched brutally
Some wounds were deep...and they were still bleeding
It was hard to move....as it hurt really bad.

But then a gentle touch was felt
A touch full of love...by a loved one
The love was so warm...that it sat their like a bonfire
And it lightened up the whole place!
So much love...that it could heal every wound
So much love...that it melt her frozen heart.

And in the end...
The fire of love healed her
And she rose again like a phoenix.