Pour me effortlessly down the drain
As if I were expired milk in the morning
Pour me through your fingers
Let me flow away like slippery
Ribbons down the void
In your kitchen

In the sink

In the ******* kitchen sink

Take away my oxygen
And cradle my life force in your hands
The same hands that destroyed my walls
The hands that lifted me up
Off the floor when I couldn't do it anymore
Lay me down for my eternal rest
Hold me in those hands
Until I take my last breath
Let me feel you run them through my hair
While my lungs run out of air
Rest them upon my heart while I sleep
Let those steady hands run over
My skin, then repeat
.
.
.

Repeat
.
.
.


Repeat
.
.
.


Until the last beat

My thoughts caved in on themselves
My knees became liquid beneath me
I found myself crash-landing
Onto the floor
A war waged inside of my stomach
Out came the contents of my lunch
It melded into the carpet
My chest felt like layers of brick
My throat became scratchy like razors
Like the razors that sunk so neatly
Into your flesh
We were a beautiful mess
The after math of lost reality

Nervous; When I think about you.
Nervous; When you touch my skin.
Nervous; When you look me in the eyes.
Nervous; When you kiss my lips.
Nervous; When you hold my hand.

-Weak in the knees, I tremble thinking
about how much I love everything about you.
From the the freckles on your ear
lobe, to the way you sing in the car.
I bite my cheeks to keep from struggling on my words-


Nervous; When I want to tell you how I feel.
Nervous; Because I want to cling to you.
Nervous; When we take off our clothes.
Nervous; When you tell me I'm beautiful.
Nervous; Because I don't want to lose you.

I have loved you, but I haven't met you...
yet.

it's
    okay.
     okay?
 it's
     okay.
              tomorrow
      could
be
a
                  better
   day

I wanted to write about the weather and how it was relatable; How I related to the gloomy storm clouds, but that’s just pathetic. I am sick of this woe is me persona. **** that and **** the weather. Tomorrow could be better, or possibly wetter weather! Whatever, **** it, deep breath and smile anyways.

Your funny-sweet personality fitted with sweet nothings only we know.
It's perfect, you're perfect.
Eyes like  green exotic nebulas beyond the atmosphere.
Lips soft and mauve, teeth like ivory cut from sacred temples.
Hair a wispy brown nest I could run my fingers through forever.
Skin soft like the finest of silks;
I can't help but to want push mine against it.
A laugh that could reverberate for light years inside my head.
Contagious, perfect.
You're like a liquid drug in my veins and I'm entirely addicted.
I need you, I want you.
I feel alive with you, I feel right with you.
I feel perfect with you.
Give me another dose baby, let me feel that perfection again and again.

I could have picked you apart
like one plucks
petals effortlessly from a
fresh bloomed flower
in spring
but unlike a new sprung flower
you have
long ago withered

Only let someone be a portion
Of your happiness;
Not all of it

Oh my  pauper darling!

Sewer rat my friend!

Side-walk pennies!

Corner coffee cup!

Garbage truck my love!

You call it insanity!

Haha,

But it’s just poverty!

Pretty
Autumn
Leaves
Surround
Me
.
.
.
Bury Me;
Decompose Me;
Make Me New in the spring;
<regrowth>

Routine

Rou t i n
                 e

I want you so badly

But I am inconsistant

I searched my entire room,
Every nook and cranny
For anything that would remind me of you.
A letter, a peice of clothing, even a smell
But all I found was emptiness.
But where?
My room? My head? My heart?
I couldn't figure it out, but I soon learned
You left nothing
but a memory.
I sought to forget it,
But I could only escape from it
For a moment at a time.
I  can no longer  breathe but for a few seconds a day.
I'm forever suffocating in a memory of you.

I finally feel I can be happy again
Now that I’ve shed my metaphorical
Skin
I no longer feel the crawling sensations of the insecurities you
Conjured up for me
I can no longer feel the burn in my chest
After you’ve passed on my secrets
To uninvited ears
Because you will never get another one from me nor will you ever know another part of me
I am done living in your shadow because you thought me incapable of true friendship
Without  you I will grow into the most beautiful and best me
like a **** that held me back
you will no longer break me and pick me apart and keep me from growing

Shedding my skin again
Dust off my bones
Beginning again

Crawl out of the cocoon
See new light
I will spread my wings soon

Wake from hibernation
Wipe sleep from my eyes
I’m a whole new creation

Crack open the shell
Taste newly fallen rain
It is time I prevail

Dark flesh so sleek against my creamy, peach skin.
Body pressed against mine, breath in rhythm with mine.

Your touch sending tingles down my vertebrae.
The endorphins unleashing in my brain.

Together we create beauty and love upon my sheets.
painting a picture with our sweat, our breath sweet lullabies I won't forget.

In the night my dreams flow vividly around me.
But by morning there will be an emptiness in my bed.
An emptiness within myself.

We had the world at our fingertips.
We were gold plated and heartfelt. In an open sea, just two ships.
We got lost out there from the world but it was the same horizon day after day.
Soon, the  world felt small.We no longer had words so say.
Now we're just copper plated and the love has faded.

Emotions running deep,
Like stairs entirely too steep;
I climbed.

My legs grew weak.
With shaky limbs,
I progressed.

A tunnel of hate
Dark and unforgiving;
I carried on.

Mountains of memories
Standing tall;
I shuffled onward.

A vast sea of guilt;
I sank.
For I cannot swim.

You held my hand in your sleep.
Sometimes you talk to me in your sleep too.
But best of all, you'll put
your arm around me and pull me closer to you.
Sleeping is when, as humans, we are the most sincere.
But I'll never tell you the sweet things you do in your sleep,
those are my secrets to keep.
So, baby get some sleep tonight.
Hold me until morning light.

I imagined you and her as
The fat swollen slugs
I poured salt on
And watched them
Writhe in agony
A recreation of the agony
You left inside of me

My heart a burning gem
You cracked open
Once again
Whilst yours
Smolders within
Her hands

I was a flame you fed
and burned too brightly;
Until you smothered me to ashes

My creature comforts
My doubts
My fears
My love for you
All the things
That make me up
Don’t make me up at all
They’re just crutches
I use to soften
All my edges
Because being myself
Is the hardest thing
I’ve ever done

It's not that I'm inexperienced, but with you
whatever this is, it's very new.
I can't wrap my head around it;
All I know is, I want to wrap my arms
around you.

Sometimes sadness
Embraces me
Like an old friend

You are like raindrops resting on soil
Flow into me like water
Gentle, as I am still a flower in bloom
Give me sunlit skies
And hold me to your chest;
I am still healing
Tell me about far off galaxies
And how you gaze  at stars
Wishing you could hold them in your hands
For light years they live in the skies
Only to burn so beautifuly
In the atmosphere
And we capture the experience in our memories
And admire blazing star dust
For  only seconds at a time

You thought yourself master of the chessboard
But now squirm in a maddening panic;
you’ve lost control of your pawns
And I still stand as queen

Strip   me
D  o  w  n
T   e  a   r
The   skin
From  my
F l  e  s  h
Peer   into
My     soul
What   d o
You    see ?
Roll your tongue
Across my t e e t h
Tell me what do you
T a s t e?
Run
Y
O
U
R
F ing ers
A  l o n  g
My  spine
What   do
You feel?
Steady  a
B r e a t h
At
the
Knape
Of my
Neck
Tell me
What
Do you
T
H
I
N
K
?
Lay your heavy
Head upon my
C h e s t
What do
Y
    O
        U
            H
           E
       A
R
     ?

If we kissed in warm summer heat,
Would you taste of everything sweet?

Would knots turn in my tummy?
Would I float off into the clouds above me?

Would you hold my hand,
and sing me songs from your favorite band?

Would your skin feel like velvet against mine?
As we laid on the beach and forgot about time.

Would you hold me through the night,
And promise to still want me by morning light?

Sunlight coming in through the window and resting on my inner thigh
The warmth reminds me of the soft kisses
That your sacred lips once left behind

a long drag
of a cigarette
in hopes too
exhale all
of these thoughts
away with the smoke
that leaves my lungs
I don’t know what’s
killing me
the things in my head
or the ******* cigarettes?

Hot heavy air, and I was wet all over. But I didn't care about the heat I still wanted you to hold me. I didn't mind if my makeup melted away, anything to stand beside you. But the nights were cooler, we could slow it down and absorb every bit of each other.
Tell me your thoughts, your wants, your fears.
Tell me underneath a starlit-midnight sky.
Tell me in your car while were lost in the moment.
Tell me while we lie in bed with our skin is touching.
Sing me your favorite songs and know that if I'm staring silently at you, I'm admiring everything about you.
But tell me baby, tell me.
Tell me you don't want this to end.
Tell me I'm the only one.
Tell me you'll never let me go.
Tell me.