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 Sep 2014 Blanket
Molly
I have a friend
who is in a state of
constant action.
Whether it is
talking
or walking
or kissing
or smoking,
she is doing.

I never understood why,
never understood how she could
always be bored
when things slowed down,
never understood why
silence wasn't peaceful to her,
until now.

When there are demons in your head
that whisper into the empty spaces,
you look for other sounds to drown them out;
you look for something
-anything, really-
that gives you something to think about
other than the aching in your chest.

But soon it becomes less of a habit
and more of a necessity.
You start getting desperate,
calling friends at 2am,
sneaking out to walk to the park
because at least you're not
trapped in your ******* room,
and with desperation comes regret.

You start doing things you're not proud of
but at least the demons were quiet
while you were doing it
so you do more to
forget about that regret
and so on.

And it works for a while.
But the demons will creep back in,
hiding between teeth
and in ash
and under beds,
until eventually
there is no where left
for you to run.
Rough draft...I don't know.
 Sep 2014 Blanket
Seán Mac Falls
In youth, to myself I thought,
'Is true love bound in some far away place?'
I flew off— picturing dreams to be had.
Ah, so much in books and on film I saw
And so I settled my gaze
Westward to love.

And I met a girl who knew,
Trades of skin which came and quickly fell,
Of longings true it was not to be had.
Ah, so much in books and on film I saw,
So I left her one glad day,
For we did not love.

Then came my only, true one,
The coolest rains held in longest summer,
But soon even bliss in a shower ends
And words to eyes but stories, whims.
Ah, so many pictures I made
In a camera without film.
 Sep 2014 Blanket
Bella Anima
i remember how we first started talking
you sounded so nice yet intimidating
and i guess i was already attracted by then
i remember how i fell and what made me fall
it was all the small things
it was the moments we shared
i remember the way you say hello when you answer the phone
and the different tones you have depending on all your different moods
and i remember, how each and every tone sounds like
i remember the different laughs you have
and how horrible it could sound sometimes
but i loved it all
because it made me laugh too
i remember how much you love nuts and your top three favorites
macadamia, almond, hazelnut
i remember your love for snakes
you would send me pictures and videos of them
you learnt about them in class and you would get home and call me to tell me everything
oh actually you do that every single day
for your every single module
the passion you had in your voice
gets me smiling all the time
and i would just keep silent and listen to you
and when you were done i would say i love you
and i could hear you smile when you say that you love me too
i remember the way you would sit and study when you are stressed
i remember the way you study
i remember your favorite brands
i remember how you would ask me to call and accompany you as you do your laundry and how friendly you were when you bumped into people
i remember our **** competitions and i actually remember how some of yours sounded
it was disgusting
but i loved you more than ever
i remember the way your eyes changed when your emotions changes
i remember how they would look at me and say a thousand words to tell me how much you love me
and i would do the same
then i remember how i would close my door
switch off the lights
due to the time difference the night would still be young for me but not for you but you would wait for me
then i would call you
and sometimes you would cry cos we didnt manage to talk the whole day and you missed me so much
so did i (i still do)
i would then sing you to sleep with my horrible singing
then in between my singing i would ask you to drink water cos i was afraid you were not drinking enough and i would always remind you that our *** has to be transparent not yellow and it cracks you up every single time
so you will drink and i remember how it sounds like when you drink from your bottle and the stupid sounds you would make while drinking and how you would giggle cos you found it funny
and when you start saying **** in every single sentence you say
i knew you were sleepy so i would keep singing and singing
till i could hear you breathe heavily
and i would call your name and there will be no reply
then i would say good night and i would beg you to wake up the next day
cos i need you
i should have hung up after you fell asleep but i didnt
i listened to you sleeping, breathing heavily and steadily
sometimes snoring so loudly
sometimes sleeptalking in some foreign language
that was what completed my day and night

i remember so much still
and as much as i want to forget them
these little moments and things about you
add up to all of you
and its the only way i could have you during the loneliest of times.
it feel so good to be able to finally show you off to the world, even though it has all ended, because i could never do it before due to the fact that we are of the same gender but just look at it. It seems like a normal relationship to me. It feels so good to show how beautiful you are without showing the world how you look like because you are so much more than a pretty girl, you are a beautiful soul. I miss you.
An innocent flower
Trapped in cold dirt

Had a troubled life
I watched her get hurt

She was a beautiful rose
Fading to sorrowful blue

Her petals were falling
As she sprouted through

This flower was fragile
Drowning in endless rain

She couldn't blossom
In such suffocating pain

I tried to help her grow
But I watched her fall

Yet she still lives on
If I can utterly recall

This flower still lives
In my heart downcast

For she is my life
From childhood's past
 Sep 2014 Blanket
Five Fingers
why is it that i forgive so easily?
why do i always weigh intentions instead of faulting stupidity
when stupidity, that fickle fool
caused us such grave heartache
and for what

why is it that i forgive so easily?
and risk my feather heart
exposed
a brothel for sentiment
care murdered and never returned
screaming out to be ****** over
by another
time
after
time

why is it that i forgive so easily?
and allow anger to fade
lay waiting for recognition
discard all ammunition
and tell myself once more
that *it is all worth it
I  can forgive, and i can look past things. But somewhere in the hidden idealist part of my being, i cant come to terms with how the people i least expect, are the ones that give me the most to look past. then of course its me i blame, for being so **** weak.
 Sep 2014 Blanket
Bella Anima
Kill.
 Sep 2014 Blanket
Bella Anima
It kills me
With every single word I say
It kills me
With every single thought I have
It kills me
With every single breath I take
Because no matter what I do
That is the end
Of what we had.
I just really really hope I will not be able to relate to this poem after a while.
 Sep 2014 Blanket
Bella Anima
Drain.
 Sep 2014 Blanket
Bella Anima
The amount of energy
It takes me to stop
The tears
Drains the life out of me.

The amount of energy
It takes me to smile
My day away
Drains the soul out of me.

But none of this
Will ever
Drain the love out of me
Nor
The memories of you and me.
Just exhausted.
 Sep 2014 Blanket
Five Fingers
I wish it were my fault

then maybe i'd have something to change

I wish it were my fault

then maybe i could have something to repent for

I wish it were my fault

then maybe i could feel anything but this stinking sense of
uselessness

I wish it were my fault

Because right now things have fallen through my fingers
and i cant stop it
and i cant breathe
and i cant stop it
and i am lost
and i just cant ******* stop it

and i am not okay
That's the thing about being the victim.
no faults, no guilt, no sin, no nothing. But that also means no ******* control. and it kills me so much and eats at my soul.
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