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Jul 2018 · 680
Is it worth it?
Blanket Jul 2018
Is it all worth it though?
Is all the mental torture worth it?
Are all these sleepless nights worth it?
Am i being selfish or am i just being taken advantage of?
Do i even still want this?
Is it worth it?
Is being said “you’re unloving”
“You’re not helping me in any way”
“Girls like you make me go depressed”
“You don’t care for me”
“This is why I want to be single”
“Your efforts are nothing”
“You’re making me more stressed”
“You make me feel insecure about myself”
“You behave like a ****”
“No happiness”
Worth it?
Hearing all these and more,
Feeling completely useless,
Having no words to say back,
Worth it?
Is being speechless worth it?
Or defending myself and getting beaten up by even more harsh word worth it?
WHAT IS WORTH IT?

I have been there for you through everything but there’s a difference between being your support to lean on and being your punching bag to vent out all your frustrations.
Harsh words, rude comments and disrespect has been thrown around several times, and I have shut up for most of it.
As much as I retreat, you beat me to it.
Feeling nothing but emptyness recently.
I get that you’re going through something, but that doesn’t make me any less hunan than you are.
I am going to feel. I am going to hurt. I am going to cry.
I’m not strong enough to push aside my emotional stability to support your verbal abuse.
I am trying.
I
Am
Trying.

How much longer till my tears completely dry up?
How much longer till I’ve completely become numb?
How much longer till I break?
How much longer till I go mad?
How much longer till I’ve had enough?

Do I want this?
Do I love myself more?
Or do I love you more?
Is it worth taking the risk?
Is it worth it?
Blanket Aug 2017
If love was an object,
it would be my blanket.

It keeps me warm.
I would shiver without it.

It keeps me safe.
A place to hide.

It's soft.
Gentle upon my skin.

It's comfortable.
Peaceful, sleep-filled nights.

It's something I want,
not something I need.

It wraps me tight.
The most comfortable hug.

It's constant,
day and night.

It's the kind of love,
we all yearn for.

Yet,
We take a blanket for advantage.
Aug 2017 · 233
Love, Comfort.
Blanket Aug 2017
" Ever asked yourself why you stayed?
Was it because you loved her?
Or was it comfort?"

Love is comfortable.
Comfort is loving.
One without the other,
There's nothing.
There's no right or wrong in asking such a question.

You stumble upon it and find yourself asking that question when things change. When people change. When relationships change.

And there's no right or wrong answering otherwise.
Blanket Jun 2017
I spill,
Seeking comfort.
You state,
Reality.

I yearn,
A lover.  
You,
Empower.

I need
Patience.
You provide
Anger.

Comfort
Found in words.
Language,
Foreign to you.

I needed
You.
Proven
Otherwise.

Now,
I need
Me.
Ever felt like you needed that special someone to just listen to your sorrows and be there for you without stating reality and loving you the way you feel loved?

However personalities clash.

And you don't exactly need that special someone.
But you need yourself, more than ever.
Mar 2017 · 344
Seek Comfort from Within
Blanket Mar 2017
My heart sets itself on a thin rope
My head is an uncontrollable mess
My neck sinks low from apologies
My mind wouldn't think less
My eyes plead for your mercy
My hands ache for your touch
My mouth craves for your love
My feet follows your path
I know I'm not easy to love. I'm full of insecurities and I'm full of flaws. I overthink and then I beat myself up with it.

My eyes never rest till my heart is settled, and my mind is clear.

And I apologise for the mess I am.
Blanket Feb 2017
I apologise
For my fragility

For the heart that is purely sensitive
At the slightest emotion felt

For the mind that beats itself up
Creating such invalid thoughts

For the eyes that were never dry
From the tears that always fell

I apologise
For the difficult self I am
Sometimes I don't know if it's me, or you, or the relationship that needs the working on.
Dec 2016 · 337
For You.
Blanket Dec 2016
I have ached for you without consent.
I have listened to what might not want to be shared.
I have cleansed my tongue from words that spite.
I have allowed my heart to breathe, for you.

I'd still give you my heart,
because I know it brings no harm.

Not anymore.
Perceive it the way you want to.
Jul 2016 · 431
Adapting
Blanket Jul 2016
Will I ever say it?
No.
Because I've accepted reality,
And the way it treats me.
Mar 2016 · 378
Forgive Yourself
Blanket Mar 2016
Allowing happiness to seep in,
Little by little, change by change,
Made me treasure what's within.

No hate, no grudges, no pain, no lies,
Genuine care and love that never dies.

Relieved of anger, loath and paranoia,
My heart feels more satisfied and
My mind seems to guid better.

Rebuilding hope on life and faith in God,
Understanding that everyone is flawed,
Made me develop this kind and humble nature,
And honestly, nothing's greater.
For once, I feel like everything is going to be okay.
Mar 2016 · 317
F(Light)
Blanket Mar 2016
"What are you so afraid of?"

"The light"

"Most would say the dark"

"Because they are afraid of being alone."

"And you're not afraid of being alone?"

"I find solace in the dark, at night.
Where hurt has no space to enter.
Where expectations are uninvited.
Where I can be alone, and not be afraid of it."

"But why the light?"

"Its when I can see."

"And that's a problem?"

"It is when you've seen to much."
Feb 2016 · 583
Answer Cancer
Blanket Feb 2016
8 months
is way too short.
Cant remember the                 last                     time you fought.

You gave up, so did we.
Its spreading like a  W   I   L   D   F   I   R   E,
that's all we see.

Its not only taking you away, its dragging me along.
a part of me
C  H  A  N  G  E  D.
Helplessly, I'm
G  O  N  E.


C          A          N          C          E  ­        R
is ****,
I must admit.


It may take away      O     N     E      life.
But      EVERYONE ELSE      died a little inside.
Feb 2016 · 743
Canvas
Blanket Feb 2016
Paint me.

Add color onto my purity.

Sacrifice your clean brush,
for an angry stroke of red.

Let the colors define your emotions.

Paint a strong current of blue to show me,
just how sad you really are.

Let the colors define you.

Let a little green in,
portray your caring heart.

Let me in.

Add a tinge of yellow around the corners,
holding onto that thin line of faith you still have.

Let go of yourself, artist.

Stipple white gently,
and match me.

Let everything you hold be free.

But remember to avoid black,
for it destroys a perfect painting.

But if you must,
then add black,

and destroy me.
All I could offer, would be me.
Jan 2016 · 330
Yet,
Blanket Jan 2016
I cannot explain this feeling.

It's almost deadly.
Yet,
Its the only thing that keeps me alive.

Like the devil,
That sees through my thin soul.
I know its bad.
Yet,
If feels good?

Like the sunlight burning through my skin,
Scarring my bones with its presence.
It's exciting, new and refreshing.
Yet,
It hurts with no warning.

Like a petal that's been tossed and turned in mud,
Heavy with negativity, erasing its identity.
It's wild and challenging.
Yet,
Its heart wrenching.

Like a caterpillar thats out of its cocoon,
Flying and scavenging through dark woods.
Its happy and its free.
Yet,
It's lonely and its fearful.

I cannot explain this feeling.
Its one without words.
Its one without expressions.
Yet,
Its one with feelings.
Its meant to not be understood.
Mar 2015 · 11.8k
Independent
Blanket Mar 2015
To a child that has been spoon fed ever since young,
Independence would sound foreign.
Learning and changing gets tougher
Nov 2014 · 4.7k
Home
Blanket Nov 2014
This house is getting heavy
With the silence that surrounds
Silence which has affected me
Silence that brought me down
I try to make this house a home
The home that I used to love
But nothings seems to be working
So I seek help from above
Oct 2014 · 330
Let me
Blanket Oct 2014
Let me fall.
Let me get hurt.
Let me make mistakes.
If you don't,
I will never know
and I will never learn.
Don't stop me,
But tell me.
Warn me.
And then after,
Let me be.
Don't tell me what to do. Give me advise, give me suggestions, give me options. But don't tell me what to do.
Aug 2014 · 16.0k
Demons
Blanket Aug 2014
You don't know me
And you don't want to
So don't give me a reason
To unleash my demons

— The End —