Lies, Lies, it’s all a bunch of lies,
Everything that comes out of this hole of mine,
Lies, Lies, why are you surprised?
You’ve caught me before — time after time.
So many lies got me confusing myself,
So give me the liquor off the highest shelf.
Except I don’t drink, I don’t kiss, I don’t tell,
Ive created a paradise in my own private hell.
It’s built up completely of my perfect little lies,
I’ve become the person that I most despise,
All I do is cheat and look you dead in the eyes,
Tell you what you want to hear and listen to your cries.
No remorse, not a care, not a single **** given,
My truthful story, it must stay hidden,
Cause you see all these things are wrong and forbidden.
You threaten to leave me, and I know you’re not kidding.
So I must keep up this clever disguise,
I must keep lying to your beautiful eyes.
So I ask you now, why even try?
Do yourself a favor, and just say goodbye.

I'm hemorrhaging out of my chest
where my heart used to be.
He just threw the kitchen sink at me.
I couldn't dodge it, for It was too large.
I couldn’t  evade his powerful charge.
Every insult, that one can imagine,
Spewed from his mouth, begging for a reaction.
I tried to stay strong, I couldn’t break down,
I held back my tears, I kept in my frown.
It’s always the same, night after night,
So why even bother to put up a fight?
Now as I lay dying, an empty shell
I sit here alone in my own private hell.

My mind is a dangerous place to live. It's so cramped and loud, and your neighbors are demons. You try to escape, but there are no doors. The windows are caked thick with blood and the sunlight burns your eyes. Where there use to be innocence, there is only darkness and pain. The hatred fills your lungs like a black tar - it becomes hard to breathe. You fall into madness, gripping for anything, anyone, but there is nothing but the sound of your own screams.

Chew them up and spit them out.
Focus now. Now talk.
Nope — can’t speak the words aloud.
My mouth is filled with caulk.
Visions of words play out in my head
But I can’t get them to play nice.
Instead things have to be left unsaid.
Or I will pay the price.
Can’t risk it. Can’t say it.
It’s wriggling out of control
Can’t chance it. Can’t do it.
Can't say anything at all.

“Chew it up, and spit it out.
Spit it out. Spit it out.
Chew it up, and spit it out.
Spit it out Already!”

Spasms before they leave your lips
You’re ******* the words up
You apologize again for it.
An overflowing cup.
****** distortion. Mental exhaustion
Teeth clamped down tight.
Depression sets in, the fear sinking in
You  try with all your might.
Chewing on yourself again,
Embarrassment creeps in.
It’s not about if it will happen,
The question is “when?”

“Chew it up, and spit it out.
Spit it out. Spit it out.
Chew it up, and spit it out.
Spit it out Already!”

The muscles are darting,
oh no it’s starting,
Your hands begin to shake.
Your tongue slides left,
Your neck bends right.
How much more of this can I take?
You want to run
You want to hide
But there’s nowhere to go.
You can’t run away from it,
Your face you have to show.
You try to stay as still as you can
So no one else can see,
You just want to cut out your tongue
But speech is a necessity.

“Chew it up, and spit it out.
The song must be sung.”
Can’t chew it up, or spit it out
This disorders got my tongue.

It’s all about the way you care,
With no ulterior motives there.
It makes a difference if to try and fix this,
You lay your soul out bare.

You can try, you can try, you can try to cut her down, but she’s not fallin,
You can try, you can try, you can try to pull her down, but she’s not movin,
You can try, you can try, you can try to make her drown, but she’s not drowning,
No she’s not drowning again!
She’s not dying again!

Desperation sound,
Makes her come around.
It means more when you are bleeding.
It makes her feel found.

You can cry, you can beg, you can try to change her mind, but she’s not changin.
You can snoop, you can sneak, you can lie right through your teeth, but she’s not believin.
You can push, you can shove, you can try to force her love, but she’s not loving.
No, she’s not loving you again!
She’s never looking back there again!

Don’t call her sadistic,
That will make her ballistic,
She’s just a willow tree with her roots in the ground.
She’s just animalistic.
So don’t try to change her or tear her down.
Herself, she’s finally found.

Why does it have to be so hard?
You’ve left my broken heart
Why do I put up such a guard?
We’re here falling apart
Love me gently. Mind your screams.
You never could have known
Tears fall down in constant streams.
You chill me to the bone
Watch me turn away from you
Beg me not to go
The smoke surrounds me far from you
Up high is where I’ll go
Can we save this bleeding heart?
Is it worth the fight?
My heart says “Let it fall apart”
And maybe it is right.
What’s the point of this charade?
Round and round we spin
I’m dying where my head has laid
Please forgive me of my sins.
Why does it have to be so hard?
You’ve left me here to die
You’ve played your final hand of cards
So now I say goodbye.

PULLING the edges
Until THE blood comes through
The darkened SKIN
Never new TO you
Turn them into permanent FIXtures
Turn THEM into scars
Line your body with a constellation
of crooked moons and stars
RIPPING until it hurts
BECAUSE the PAIN IS the best part
Let THE PROOF run down your face
Prove you have a heart
DIG a little deeper NOW
til your nails turn red
Careful now SWEETHEART,
Any more and YOU'RE DEAD.

I’m her eyes, I am more than the sum of my parts.
In her eyes, I am more than the dust in the air.
I’m her eyes, I’m strong and my beauty is real, oh
But that’s not the way that I’m supposed to feel so,

SHE STUNS ME! Like a bolt of electricity.
SHE STUNS ME! Like the heat of a fire that I can’t see.
SHE STUNS ME! Now she means everything to me.
She stuns me, she stuns me, she stuns me. Oh,
She stuns me, she stuns me, she stuns me.

In her arms, I melt down to nothin.
In her arms, my soul has come back home.
In her arms, I’m really starting to feel something,
But that’s not how these things usually go so,

SHE STUNS ME! Like a bolt of electricity.
SHE STUNS ME! Like the heat of a fire that I can’t see.
SHE STUNS ME! I’m starting to feel like this ain’t the death of me.
She stuns me, she stuns me, she stuns me. Oh,
She stuns me, she stuns me, she stuns me.

Because of her, my world has flipped on its head.
Because of her, there’s a sweeter smell in my bed.
Because of her, the darkness is turning to light.
Because of her, with my demons I will put up a fight

I will treat my flesh as if it were hers,
Instead of blood, I’ll use ink to write out my words.
I can claw, I can fight, I can heal from these burns!

SHE STUNS ME! She breathes the life right back into me,
SHE STUNS ME! My heart has burst into flames you see,
SHE STUNS ME! Now i can be who I want to be!
She stuns me, she stuns me, she stuns me.
She stuns me, she stuns me, she stuns me.
She stuns me, she stuns me, she stuns me.

Wrapped in my mind once again.
“I’ll never view you as just a friend.”
Could this be something more,
Before you go and close that door?
Because to you it’s just a game,
And it’s driving me insane.
I can’t even seem to breathe.
Maybe it’s best if you leave because...

YOU. LIKE. TO. HURT ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. BURN ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. **** ME
YOU. WILL. NEVER. LOVE ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. HURT ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. BURN ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. **** ME
YOU. WILL. NEVER. LOVE ME

Your arms around my neck once again,
Making my head spin and spin
You never wanted something more,
So you went and slammed that door.
Because to you, I was a conquest.
Of your allure, it was just a ****** up contest
Now your hands are around my throat.
When I’m dead, try not to gloat because...

YOU. LIKE. TO. HURT ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. BURN ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. **** ME
YOU. WILL. NEVER. LOVE ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. HURT ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. BURN ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. **** ME
YOU. WILL. NEVER. LOVE ME

And on and on this torture goes,
When it will stop, nobody knows, yeah
Because to you, I’m just a game.
See, you’ve driven me insane because...

YOU. LIKE. TO. HURT ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. BURN ME
YOU. LIKE. TO. **** ME
YOU. WILL. NEVER. LOVE ME
You. Will. Never. Love me
You. Will. Never. Love me
You. Will. Never. Love me
You. Will. Never. Love me

You’re so slick
Don’t you think so?
There’s no limit To how far you’ll go
You’re so sick
Yes I think so
My limits have been pushed
As far as they can go.
This wound I pick
Yes, for the blood flow
I’ve got stains I’ll never show
Don’t push me
Don’t test me
Don’t fight me
Just bite me
Ok a little fight
Now and then
And Over and over again.
Don’t you dare act like you care
I know the honest truth
You **** me dry
Empty and bare
You’ve ****** me of my youth
You’re so slick
Don’t you think so?
Cause I don’t.

I need to scream.
I need to inhale and
then exhale
loudly
forcefully
and audibly,
But this requires that I
first
know how to breathe.
I need to breathe.
But Can’t.
That requires me to
shut out the noise in
my mind
And focus on
Inhaling
And then exhaling.
Again and again.
But this task is
impossible
For someone who’s mind
Is ON
ALL OF
THE TIME.
So
How does one shut out
the noise
when all you can do is
listen
and hear
what no one else can?
I need to scream.
I need to bleed,
And ****,
And fight.
But all I can do
Is sit here
And Need.